Libby, Montana....hunt'n bears

Well crap.....better late than never I rekon. Ya see, I got neighbors what come sit on "da porch" at all hours of the day. They expect me to go outside an' BS with them any time they show up.....no matter what I'm do'n. Since I'm such a nice guy, I appease them.

I went to bed way too early last night think'n I would get up early this morn'n an' get some stuff done. Ha....that worked out great. I got up at 8:30 after 10 hours of blissful sleep.....NOT!!! There ain't nobody sleep 10 hours, or in last nights case, stay in bed that long. It ain't American I tell ya.....ain't American. But anyhows, last night was terrible. Got sick....had to puke. Had a dozen or so leg cramps. One my blankies fell on the floor an' I were cold. Sadie Mae bark'n at some damn cat out on "da porch". Nope, never gonna go to bed again at 10:30 oclock.

Took my road atlas out on "da porch" yesterday try'n to figger where I'm gonna go next. Holy crap, I end up in Libby, Montana. That's bear country ya know. Back in 1957, me an' a buddy Mike went on a hitchhiking tour from southern Ca. to the Pacific Northwest. In 1957 you could do that an' not get all beat up, robbed, or go to jail....stuff like that. Mike had a aunt in Libby what we decided to go see since we didn't strike it rich pick'n blueberrys in Seattle. An' we was slap broke. Maybe we could be lumberjacks. Cut down trees, stuff like that. Mike's aunt put us up on the front porch on a couple army cots for the night. Waked up bout the crack of dawn to the sound of something dig'n in the garden. It were two big ol' bears.....probly weigh somewheres bout a thousand pound. That what I was think'n anyhows....they was big. Mike's aunt shoot a shotgun....bears run like hell. We don't sleep on the porch no more.
Anyhows, I ain't go'n to Libby Montana. Or anywheres else where bears might be dig'n in the garden. I don't do bears.....end of story.

Since #1 moved out of the RV park a few days ago, there ain't been no more drama to entertain me. "You cain't park no freak'n tractor in a RV spot". I'm serious, he was gonna bring a old broke down John Deere tractor in the park an' restore it. Although it couldn't be no worst than the old '60's model motor homes, tip out trailers an' broke down cars. It's a freak'n junk yard out here. But it's cheap ($125 plus electric).

Be off to see the doctor tomorrow. They say to bring a list of my medications. I says....."they all on your computer". She says "bring 'em anyhows to make sure they are the same". What the hell, the doctor prescribed them last year off the computer. Hope they ain't got it in their mind to change things. These work just fine.
I'll collect all my records this year an' hope to find a doctor in Corpus Christi that don't lecture me on the sins of smoking. Or tell me I got to get a stress test. I ain't do'n no blamed stress test. Last one I thought I was gonna die. My heart already has enough stress....don't need no more. Sides that, doctors say stress kills.

 Ok, nuttin to talk bout.....got a few things I can still get down before it gets dark. By the way, 7:30 last night it was pitch black outside. Laters!!!   

A trip to Silver City.....Bayard, New Mexico

Oh boy, now what??? Tooth ache, I got a freak'n tooth ache. I'm figger'n I got a infection, so I break out some 3 year old antibiotics.....amoxicillin 500 mg. I ain't gonna go see no dad gum dentist 'cause every time I do, they take a big ol' pair of pliers an' yank out another tooth. What's with dentists? It's either a root canal or yank a tooth. Don't they know how to fix stuff?

There was a dentist down in south Texas....a old feller. They call him "jerk 'em Kerkum". $25 a pop. Take bout 15 minutes an' you out of there....lower lip hang'n on your chin. Remember Bill Cosby an' his dentist routine? Bout like that.

Yesterdays trip north was an experience. Oh, we made it to the Mexican eat 'em up place, but I was in shambles by the time we got there. Ya see, Jim is a old feller. An' he don't pay too much attention to the road....or oncoming traffic. Scare the live'n shit out me more than onest when we roll'n over them rumble strips on the side the road. But I rekon he must be a good driver 'cause he's still alive.

We pulls into a little mall place. Grocery store, a hair fix'n place an' a Mexican restaurant. If'n ya can call it that.

I ain't say'n I would ever go back to this eat 'em up place, but the enchilada sauce was bout the best I ever taste. The nice little lady brung out my plate of choice, a combination plate.

 I says....."damn, ain't no way I can eat all that". It was heaped up with enough food for me, Jim an' them nice ladies sit'n over there. I didn't leave hungry.

I think I was propositioned. Ya see, I was stand'n outside puff'n a little cigar. This hot look'n chic a baby walk up to me an' says "hello....is there anything you would like"? Now why would a nice look'n lady like that walk up to a handsome brute like me an' say something like that if'n she didn't have some stuff to sell or give away? I watch her as she walk away.....not bad, not bad at all.  

I been a bit depressed bout all the go'ns on. Ain't talk'n bout the drama in the RV park, I like that shit, but just my life in general. I'm get'n to the point where's I don't give a fly'n flip bout nuttin no more. I bet ya bout a dollar I done waste a good 8 or 20 hours read'n maps, research'n excit'n places to go....try'n to figger where I gonna go sit on my ass next. An I still don't know. Damn, the RV'n life is hard.

Whoa boy howdy.....it were 41 degs outside this morn'n when I waked up. You know what that means don't ya? Time to roll to warmer climes. But where? An' then, what am I gonna do when I get there?


 

Dog in the water.....swim JoJo...swim.

Yesterday I was sit'n here do'n nuttin, wast'n a few hours filling my mind with internet stuff. "My God Mark, put that steering damper back on "da house". Two weeks delivery for a freak'n $130 shock absorber. "Sally" be OK with the old one. Finding parts for a Workhorse chassis (formally Chevrolet) is like finding a muffler for a old Ford Pinto. "Just put it back on Mark, this is BS".

Anyhows.....I grab holt to a clean'n rag. I'm gonna clean house. You know don't ya, that the nice clean'n lady is no longer employed to clean "Sally da house". If I'm gonna pay hard earned dollars to a clean'n lady, things should be sparkling clean? Right? Well, they weren't.
Well anyways, I drop that clean'n rag like a hot tater. I ain't clean'n nuttin while I got a sink full of dirty dishes. So I done dishes....most of 'em anyhows. Now why does it take two hours to wash up a sink of dishes? I'll tell ya why....I hate wash'n dishes, that why.

There are times I open up a book an' there ain't nuttin there. The title an' first paragraph draws my attention, but I lose interest as I read on. What the hell is the author try'n to say? Has he lost his ever love'n mind? This guy used to have excit'n books with all kinds of interest'n information an' funny stories. Couldn't wait for his next publication. I rekon he's just get'n old or something like that.

We was sit'n out there on "da porch" last night. We got talk'n bout old dogs....along with a little BS. JoJo came to mind. We lived on the boat ya know, just me an' JoJo. No first mates or nuttin like that.  He weren't like no other dog I ever seen in my life....part human, part cat, part acrobat an' 110% dawg.....steal my shrimps when I weren't look'n. An he could whisper. Weigh in right at 18 pounds soak'n wet.....what he didn't like one bit. He was skeered of water an' hated the wash down hose.
I was hose'n down the deck one hot summer day. JoJo was sit'n in the cockpit watch'n my every move. "He's gonna squirt me, I just know he's gonna squirt me". I did. JoJo give me one them looks. You know what I'm talk'n bout....."bastard!!!". He heads for the front of the boat out of spray'n distance. I point that hose at JoJo an' squeeze the trigger. JoJo heads to the forward deck. I squirt again. JoJo goes out on the "bow sprit"....where he casually topples into the water 15 feet below.

He swims around to the pick up station where I dip him out with a big ass dip net. He's pissed. Goes inside the boat, soak'n wet an' calmly climbs into the captains bunk. Did I ever tell ya bout the time....??? JoJo piss on my computer keyboard.

Me an' Jim, another neighbor, will be headed up to Silver City this afternoon. Jim asks me if'n I like Mexican food. Well yeah I do....you betcha. "Maybe if'n you was to take the camera Billy Bob".

In the mean time, I'm gonna take my coffee jug out on "da porch" an' wait. To hell with clean'n when you gonna eat Mexican food. 

Golf ball swak'n 101

Friday golf lesson #437. Never eat a great big sammich before attempting to hit a golf ball.

I decided I would go swak a few. I took a 500mg aspirin before we left. Built a sammich from hell bout [this] thick. Ya see, what happens, ya need flexibility an' stability when ya hit a golf ball. A full stomach takes that all away. Ya get "belly rumbles", your bloated stomach presses against your lungs....you cain't breath. You miss the ball a good 4 inches or ya hit it out there in the woods somewheres out of bounds. Don't eat!!!!

Well, even though I had eat up that big ol' sammich, I still had a good wonderful great outstanding round of golf. I were swak'n golf balls just like I was do'n 5 years ago. My automatic putter saved me a few shot and Wayne's old golf'n clubs proved to be a improvement over mine. Much to my surprise.

I'm think'n 6 pars out of 18 holes is a pretty good start of a new career. See that birdie on #8? My second shot was pin high off the green sit'n in 3 inches of grass. Babam....I dig that ball out the heavy grass, up on the green an' right in the hole. Eat yer heart out Tiger Woods. Don't even say nuttin bout hole #9.....8 strokes. Somebody put a house right where my ball was go'n.....an' I hit the damn thing. An then I hit a damn tree out in the middle of the fairway. Then 3 putted. Sure was glad when that hole was over. A very enjoyable game. "Has anybody find my camera yet"? Yup...it was lost yesterday.

I was tell'n Wayne...."I'm gonna pay tonight"? Leg cramps ya know. But I didn't. That's a good sign that golf ball swak'n is still on my list of things I can continue to do.

Neighbor Mark, that's #10 in yesterdays "drama" list, pull a part off'n "Sally da house" this morning. I call it a steering stabilizer, while others call it a steering damper. Both are correct. After 9 years of go'n "down the road a piece", I'm think'n it's bout time to replace.

I buyed me some multi vitamins. Guaranteed to make me feel like a new man....or something like that. How long does it take for these things to kick in? I'm all excitis bout that "new man" stuff. I used to take multi vitamins way back in my other life. Bout the size a dad gum swell up butterbean. Choke an' gag get'n them things down. Strange thing though, they never did make me a new man....probly 'cause I forget to take 'em every day. A bottle of 50 would last me bout 6 months.

Camp Drama RV Park

Ha, that one moment when you forgot what you was gonna say. I was sit'n here read'n a few blogs an' a 1000 watt light bub lit up. " I could write a blog post on that". It's gone.....poooof, just like that.

But anyhows, it weren't too cold last night (53*), sleeped till almost 8am this morn'n......it's gonna be a good day. Day time temps have been absolutely wonderful.....lower 80's.

Boy howdy, drama in the RV park. #9 put up a travel trailer for sale. #1 was gonna buy it. #9 rented an apartment to move to. #1 backed out of the deal. #9 got pissed. #1's daughter, #10 got involved. #9 kicked #1 and #10 off of his lot. #1 bought a John Deere tractor. #12, old "pesky neighbor" Wanye got involved (no restoration of tractors in park). #1 kicked #12 out of his lot. #11, Billy Bob, is sit'n back on "da porch" sip'n up a cup an' enjoy'n the show. Who says that old folks cain't have fun?

Dad gum it, I got so busy yesterday do'n stuff that I didn't get nuttin done. Only started.....incomplete. I rekon it's fair to say that the older ya get, the less ya gonna do. Although, I did scratch off one more item on my "to do" list. It's good to look at a checked off list an' gloat at your accomplishments...be they big or little. It's them check marks what count, not what ya did.

I just can't get over the fact that I keep get'n older every day. But then I ain't the oldest man in the world neither. But 72 is get'n up there amungst the "old folks". And I get jealous. Dad gum old ladies an' men travel'n all over the US have'n a good time an' I'm sit'n in a rock'n chair rock'n backards an' foreards out there on "da porch". Don't think I'll ever grow accustomed to be'n a old fart.

I was look'n at the map yesterday. Nope, still don't know where I'm gonna go. There's a possibility I may stay a couple weeks extra in Deming, but that's undecided too. If'n I ain't done what I was gonna do in a month, I sure as hell ain't gonna do nuttin in an extra two weeks. I jist ain't got the "want to".

I been feel'n a bunch better for the last week. Some the back pains are go'n away, but movement is still limited. Felt so good yesterday I went out in the road an' swak some golf balls. Shit, I cain't hit a golf ball straight for nuttin. Two of 'em went over there, where I wasn't aim'n....par for the course. Another one went fly'n off to the left, miss old "pesky's" truck by a foot. I weren't aim'n there neither.

So I rekon it's bout time to head downtown to the golf course for some real golf ball swak'n. Probly take Wayne with me to drive the cart.....maybe swak up a few. This time, maybe I'll remember to take the camera.

Poor Sadie Mae is slow'n down. She's get'n old too ya know. Bout 10 years now. But then, she eats a lot of balony when we visit Deming. Damn neighbors!!!

Sit'n here do'n nuttin an' think'n

Yup.....it's winter in Deming. I waked up last night wonder'n why my feet was so cold. Well first off, they was stick'n out from under the covers. But the other reason was, it was cold in "da house". I check the thermometer this morn'n....yikes, it 48 degs out there. Gonna be break'n out the Mr Heater here pretty soon I betcha a dollar.

Me an' Sadie May loaded up in "that jeep" and head to town. We on a mission. Renew registration  on the "bubba boat" for another three years. In a way I figger I'm get'n riped off. Ain't never been stopped for speed'n. Never had a wreck. No sobriety check points. I ain't been checked for nuttin. So why even register the damn thing? Anyways, it's a done deal. They gonna mail me all the stuff sometime in the next 45 days. But they ain't gonna mail the stuff to me where ever I'm at, they gonna mail it to my NM address an' old "pesky" will mail it to my Texas address. Then my mail service in Texas will mail it to me....where ever I'm at. RV'n is a hard life.

To my surprise, yesterdays Walmart experience went without a flaw. I don't recall reverting to "crusted sailor" mode....the use of obscenities an' occasional finger jesters. I don't really do that, but it sounds good on paper. Seasoning ya might say. But anyhows, I got out of Walmart with every item on my list checked off and best of all, under a hunnert dollars. My kids know what I'm talk'n bout.....hunnert dollar every time I go to Walmart.

Since it was my birthday, I decided to treat myself to a wonderful Mexican dinner. I pulls into Taco Bell, steps out the car, an' my right leg give slap out. What the hell, it was good not 30 minutes ago traisp'n the aisles in Walmart. I orders up 2 tacos with tomatoes an' a great big combo burrito. I'm in hog heaven. I would rather eat 2 or 3 tacos an' a great big combo burrito than a medium rare T-bone steak any day. Ain't say'n I don't like T-bone steak or nuttin like that, but there are special days ya just have to splurge an' go to Taco Bell.

Everbody keep ask'n me where I gonna go when I leave Deming next week....or so. I ask the same question ever time I'm out there sit'n on "da porch" sip'n up a cup an' think'n. I cain't go south 'cause I ain't got no passport. That leaves only two choices....east or west. I got the rest of my life to decide.

In the mean time, think I'll go sit on "da porch" for a few....do some think'n. 

  
 

Time is run'n out

MAN!!!.....boy howdy, I done spend 2 hours yesterday try'n to "fix" my 'My Yahoo' into something usable. All the news feeds I followed for the last 5 years are no longer there....they gone. Grrrrrrr......!

The "da porch" has gotten to be the place to meet up an' tell lies. Everbody shows up right bout the time I got something go'n on. I ain't complain'n ya know, 'cause I like to BS an' tell a few lies myself. It's a daily competition....who catched the biggest fish, who had the worst stroke or most heart attacks, who owned the most land, who was the best war hero.....holy cows, what are we do'n in Deming sit'n on "da porch"? We should all be registered an' attend'n meet'ns in Liers Anonymous....or something like that.

One more week for my doctors appointment. Get my yearly go'n over by Dr. Fraunkenstein an' a years supply of prescriptions an' I'm out of here. This years trip to Deming ain't turn out nuttin like I had expected or plan it to be. All the stuff I was gonna do, I ain't done none of it. Not that it really matters 'cause I done did the tourist thing in Deming two or three times already. No fun in Deming for Billy Bob an' Company this year.

Speak'n of prescriptions, I pick some up at Walmart last week...or so. I'm think'n I may have toss them in the dad gum trash can. I look everwheres. Some of 'em ain't here. Either that or my prescription insurance put a hold on them for "too soon" to refill. They do that all the time. Since I travel a little bit from time to time, I refill a week or so early to make sure I don't get caught with out.

It's that of year again. "Yee haw Billy Bob, you done gain another one". There will be no celebration, no cakes, no danc'n girls, just another day. Although....I do need to make a trip to Walmart for some eat 'em ups. Run slap out of daily essentials....bread, milk an' donuts.
A trip to Walmart should be a special day in everbodys life.

I was sit'n here last night an' I says to myself...."damn, I feel pretty good". Then I spray some bug stuff in "da house". Dad gum flies everwhere. I start wheez'n for breath, caugh'n an' stuff. Had to go outside in the cold (57 degs) for some that cool mountain air. Then Sadie Mae, she take off like a bullet. Cat hunt'n or something like that. Like to never get her back in "da house".....after it air out. Sadie Mae likes cat chas'n better than watch'n the Dallas Coyboys on TV. 

Come on Blogger, don't fail me now....publish.
 

Oh well, this is all I got

Another fair night of sleep.

Got a bit cold last night...53 degs. out there on "da porch".

Oh Boy, just what I needed this morn'n, dad gum Yahoo done screw up my "My Yahoo" page. It took me two years to get it just the ways I wanted it an' what does Yahoo do.....it's gone, poooof, just like that. No way to go back. Kind of reminds me of the same thing what's go'n on in Washington.....like it or lump it. No respect, that's what it is.

Ravens are cool. They park anywhere's they want to an' don't get no tickets. Boy howdy, that one fine look'n bird. They taste like chicken I betcha.

"Yee Har, watch this.....I think we gonna fly". Dad gun rednecks!!!!

"Hi, my name is Mikey....you got sumpin' ta say"?
Let me tell ya bout Mikey. I stoled him from San Antonio. Ya see, he come in "Alice" with his little Walmart bag full of "personals" an' says....."I want to go with you Billy Bob, this is a cool house. But that damn dog Beaudreaux is got to go". Mikey an' Beaudreaux became brothers an' travel right bout 20,000 mile together. If there's a cat heaven, Mikey has a special place. Damn I liked that cat.

Beauty among the thorns....or something like that. Prickly pear cactus flower.

Speak'n of batteries.....I been run'n a capacity test on the 4 house batteries I tried to murder not long ago. Run slap out of water ya know. I rekon I cain't do nuttin right. The damn things are work'n just like brand spank'n new ones. Or I suppose they are. Every night before I turn off all the lights an' stuff, right bout mid-night or so, I check the battery voltage. 12.60 volts is pretty dad gum good for a set of "murdered" batteries don't ya think? Only time will tell "the rest of the story".  

Build'n airplanes

Whooooeeee....clean'n lady piss me off. Well....not really pissed of, but she do'n what "she" want an' not what "I" tole her to do. "Ya don't start from the bottom lady, ya start from the top".

Ok, maybe I'm a little premature here with the clean'n lady, but dad gum it, I'm the boss. I write the checks.

 "We have a problem Lisa, this is not clean". The old "white glove" trick proves the quality of work accomplished. I 'member one time in the Navy we had us a clean'n exercise an' a "white glove" inspection. The nice clean'n inspector officer says to me...."your locker sure do look nice all shiny like that, but is it clean"? He runs his pretty white glove across the top my locker wheres nobody can see, he look me straight in the eye an' say....."clean that...an' when you finish, go clean the head". Damn!!!

"I'm get'n to the airplane stuff, just hang on for a sec". But first.....I'm sickas a dog this morn'n. Ya see, I was gonna grill me up some blackened hot dogs for supper last night. At the last minute, I change my mind. Taters, sauerkraut an' sausage. That was all fine an' dandy....I eat me up two big bowls full. And then, a couple hour later I gets these rumbles in my belly. I got to go....bad. Oh don't get all upset 'cause I mention "got to go". Everbody got to go at least one time in their life. Well, I figgers since my system is all cleaned out, I don't need no stomach medication, so I didn't take it last night. Now this morn'n, I think I'm gonna puke. Hee hee Billy Bob, you a man of words".

I was sit'n in a RV park in Port Aransas. Just mind'n my own business, an' the phone rings. It's my long lost cousin in California. Aunt Myrt had fall down an' break her hip. Would I please drop everthing an' come to California an' take care of her? Well yeah, she's my aunt ya know. So's I head for California in the dead of winter...."Alice" slug'n down gallon after gallon of high octane freshly distilled "go go" juice. Damn gasoholic!!!

I was get'n bored push'n aunt Myrt around in a wheelchair all day long. Grocery shop'n an' cook'n for her. Jump'n to her every need. I'll build "another" airplane, that what I'll do. I get online an' order me up a Sig Kadet just like the last one I builded and flew back in 1974....or there abouts......58 inch wingspan, great big ol' 4 cycle motor....go a hunnert mile a hour I betcha.

So there you have it, I'm a airplane builder.
Did I ever tell ya bout the one what landed out in the middle the street? Some damn fool run slap over it.....nuttin left but a little pile of broke up balsa wood an' a .049 motor what never run again. Pedestrian airplanes should have the right of way....don't ya think?

Dig'n dirt....for no profit

Hmmmmmmm....what could possibly be wrong? Two nights in a row I slept through thunder an' lightning, rain pound'n on the roof, bark'n dogs.....Yee Haw!!!
Note: Like I tole old "peasky", it's gonna rain for 5 minutes. It rained almost 8.

Boy howdy, you should'a see all them black clouds. It's gonna rain like the dickins. No it ain't. Maybe it will. Not a chance. It didn't. But the temp fell enough for me to put on a long sleeve shirt. A "great blue norther" as we call 'em in south Texas is headed this way. Well, it weren't really a great blue, it was more like a little pinkish sprinkle an' only a few degs temp drop.

This was Mouw Mouw after he growed up into a adult. When I got Mouw Mouw, he was a tiny little cat puppy, no bigger an' a half a handfull. Remember that chicken photo I posted a couple days ago? Well the dad gum chicken beat hell out of Mouw Mouw. Stab him in the arm with a spur an' got infected. Poor Mouw Mouw died a year later.

If'n ya ain't never been "dry wash'n" for gold, this is what it looks like. This dig was in a area where gold is almost on the surface....run off from the surrounding Rand Mountains where gold was discovered in 1896. Ya see, what ya do, is dig a big ol' hole an' ya throws the dirt in a "gold machine". An' wally, you got gold.

These are prospect holes I dug in a few days of dig'n. Sure didn't get rich from all that work. Empty pouch. End up with what the old timers call a "ten dollar day".

The "gold machine" in action. If'n I could dig dirt fast enough, this dry washer could process 500 pounds a hour. Leaving nuttin but gold, black sand, a few jewels an' some heavier rocks in the riffle tray. I throwed the little jewels out with the rocks an' stuff  'cause I didn't know nuttin bout jewels.

I tole ya once before bout my dog Beaudreaux. He was abetter prospector than the old Billy Bob. Ya see, we was set up in Gohler Canyun. I was shovel'n dirt bout a hunnert pound a hour. Boudreaux was dig'n under a greasewood bush. Hunt'n critters I suppose. I says....I wonder if'n theres any gold in Beaudreaux's diggins. I pan out a good pan full an', wally, we got gold.

How did I get on gold prospecting this morn'n? It was easy, I was look'n for some pics to post....and there was prospect'n pics. Well, why not, prospecting is ....was one my fav hobbies.

Speak'n of hobbies, did I ever tell ya I build a airplane?

Meeting Alice....

Don't ya just hate it when people try to paint a picture of ya an' when they finish, it don't look nuttin like ya? They say mean an' hateful things bout your character. They try to make snide humorous remarks what ain't even close to be'n funny. I say ..."Grrrrrrrr".

Holy crap, I sleeped almost 10 hours last night. With only one wake up.

I 'member the day I picked up "Alice". I had been out make'n the rounds....check'n out the lovely beauties ya know. At one establishment, there sat a lonely look'n older lady, back in the last row all by herself. She needed a bath an' a good rub down would have greatly improved her appearance. She was short and she was wide, not overweight by no means.....just plump. I was "stricken", and she was affordable. I sat down with the "keeper" of this out of the way establishment and a deal was made. "Alice" would go home with me today, to live a life of unknown adventure and tender loving care.

On the return journey from Boerne, Texas to Port Aransas, I discovered Alice had a drink'n problem. I had picked up a gallon or so in Boerne, but had to stop down the road a piece when she had drinked that and more. By the time we arrived in Port Aransas later that evening, Alice was about drinked out of her favorite, recently purchased of hi-octane "go go" juice.

I talked Alice into a vacation trip to California....as soon as I received my retirement papers from The University of Texas. We made plans of places to stop off and see along the way. Routes were plotted on my Walmart special GPS device...a recent copy of Rand McNally Road Atlas. We had a destination in mind. Places to see an' things to do.  First mate Vickie Lynn was taken along to keep things tidy.

We purchased right bout a hunnert pound or so of groceries, foul weather gear, blankets fit for a trip to Alaska....it was winter ya know....we patiently waited for our departure day, January 20th 2002. I was get'n to know Alice pretty good by now. Knowed her drink'n abilities an' prepared for just that....carry along lots of "go go" juice. In some areas she was a bit temperamental. In cold weather, it took a few minutes to get her day started, but later in the day she mellow out to a fine lady. Do exactly what I tell her. As long as Alice had her "go go" juice to keep her in top shape, she never miss a lick.

Meet my beloved "Alice". Thirty feets of romp'n stomp'n, 454 powered, 1989 "go go juice" gasoline guzzl'n motorhome. Tiffin Open Road.  
Yeah I know, I posted this pic before, but some of ya never had a personal introduction to Alice before. She was a hum-dinger an' I still miss her today....God rest her soul.  Probly sit'n in some junk yard in south Texas somewheres now.

Ha....the clean'n lady is mine. An' you thought the old Billy Bob done lost his touch. But, she's only temporary. Once she get "Sally da house" sparkl'n clean, she's out of here. "Down the road nice clean'n woman, you got baggage....down the road with ya".

Everbody has got different opinions on travel companions, lady friends an' would be maternal partners. How do I know?? I seen it right here on my own blog. Although I would make an excellent "legal" partner to any wayward lonely child of the opposite sex, I ain't never ever gonna do it again. Ya see, I ain't never forget the turmoil generated by a controlling an' demand'n last wife. It was all fine....until the day I says "I do". That when the "control freak" demons was released from her soul. My god...Oh hell no. "Run Billy Bob, run"!!!

When you're look'n to meet up with a travel companion, everbody ain't got just one suitcase full of "baggage, but they got a damn "warehouse" full. Travel'n in a RV upsets their "sticks an' bricks" lifestyle.

Before any you winnins get all upset, men ain't no better. Just look in the refrigerator. There ain't a 6 pac in there, there's a case....drunk city come'n on. Yup, us men folk have faults too. Ya ever dance with yourself? Looks kind of funny huh? Takes two to tangle....oh wait, not tangle..."tango". 

Just a little note here on "rejuvenating" batteries. A rejuvenated battery will NEVER produce the potential capacity of a new battery. Only a portion there of....like at most 40%. Replace the battery you killed, don't attempt to revive it. Better yet....think AGM. Google that if you must.

In answer to ButterBeans comments on the golf clubs. Yes it was a wonderful birthday present to old "pesky neighbor" Wayne when I agreed to buy his golf clubs. He now has money in the pocket that he didn't have before. Anybody interested in purchas'n a fine set of used golf clubs? I don't need them.      

His last golf game

Yesterday was a sad day as I watched old "pesky" Wayne wind up an' swak his last golf ball. It will be a day both of us remember.

"Photos Billy Bob, show the photos". I'm not one to forget important stuff, like taking pics of a memorable day, but...."where the hell is my camera"? Uhh, it's lay'n on the table back at "da house". I hang my head in shame. This was a important day. Not only for Wayne's sake, but for me also, that I was the last person to see old "pesky" swak a 100 yard drive straight down the middle of the fairway.

After a talk with Wayne, another attempt will be made to record "Wayne's last golf game" in photos. As soon as we both heal from yesterday's ordeal. My god, thought I was gonna die. Wayne completed 5 holes, while I went on to play 17. Pick up my ball on the 18th.....cain't breath, back hurt'n like hell. I'm gonna pay tonight I betcha. And I did. Boy howdy let me tell ya....did I ever.

One day the old Billy Bob is gonna be swak'n his last round of golf. A day I fear isn't too far off. Then what am I gonna do? Fish'n in the "bubba boat"? Blow'n up that "bubba boat" takes a lot of air, so that be com'n to a close also. Damn, I get frustrated when I cain't do nuttin no more. Grrrrrr......

Me an' old Wayne play many rounds of golf since our first game together in 2005 up to yesterday. Come winter or summer time, we was on a golf course in Deming, Silver City or Las Cruces....rain, shine, wind blow'n a hunnert mile a hour or snow, we was there. We had our own golf carts....old three wheeler antique EZ Go.

Billy Bob's modified chop top (1973) EZ Go Golf'n cart. Yup, Billy Bob & Company did all that beautiful work. Many heads were bonked on that chop top. Failure to duck cause goose egg bumps on the noggin.

Wayne's old 1976 ugly white golf'n cart after Billy Bob & Company put a nice metallic paint job on it.
Heads turned when we showed up at the #1 tee box.

This ain't work'n

I'm sit'n here look'n at the keyboard....think'n. "Poosh a button Billy Bob...write something".

Ya see, I Ben down in the dumps for so long, I just got tired of try'n. Figgered I would take me a break.....post some pics from 11 years of travels an' let it go at that. But dad gum it, even that is hard....you know, chos'n what photos to post that might be of interest to somebody. I had no intention of shut'n down "Billy Bob's Place....jist tak'n a short break. 

Ain't got no news from Deming what would interest anybody. Just everyday "do'n nuttin" stuff. A "travel blog" don't write bout "do'n nuttin". "Wait just one cotton pick'n minute Billy Bob, Billy Bob's Place ain't no travel blog....it's a life an' times Billy Bob blog".

Even though I added a few things to my "to do" list, there is only bout 6 left. Yeah, I been mark'n 'em off one at a time.

Now I have a confession to make. 'Member them 4 golf cart batteries I bought last year to replace the ones I run slap out of water? Well, I did it again. I ain't never in my life had to put 2 gallon water in 4 batteries. I'm think'n I murdered a set of new house batteries. Grrrrrrr.....I suck. 
The solar charge controller says the batteries are charged (14.6 volts), but the real test will be on my first boondock'n trip.

Ok, so why the hell did I run out of water? That's simple, I didn't check the water level like ya supposed to do every month. Old age ya know....forget stuff or just plain lazy.

Have ya ever hear of AGM batteries? These batteries are 100% maintenance free. That is unless ya want to clean the corrosion off'n the external terminal post once or twice a year. Even if'n ya break the case, there is no loss of electrolyte. It's all absorbed in the glass matt between the plates. But they expensive. So are wet cell batteries when ya murder them and have to replace. Be'n I'm a rather old fart that forgets stuff, my next set of batteries will be AGM's. Just not today.

Looks like today will be my first opportunity to go swak some golf balls. A week of rain like to have flooded the local golf course. Gonna take old "pesky neighbor" Wayne with me. He ain't play a round in a couple years or so. "Don't forget the camera Billy Bob".  

HUH??? What's up Billy Bob......

The Rio Grande flows through Las Cruces, NM. at a astounding rate of "a hunnert mile a hour" (bout 23 actually). It's banks are near full. This water is go'n to Texas.

"Come on dad, just a little taste".

"What the hell?, there's a chicken in "da house""....

"Ahh, what's up Jack"?

Motel 6, Juarez, Mexico.........

Supper time at Billy Bob's house....

Hand concocted chili bean, tomatoes, sausage an' a handfull of chop jalepenos. One hand picked New Mexico Hatch chili pepper stuff with colby jack an' crab. Yum boy howdy!!!!

Take a break Billy Bob

Me an' Sadie Mae had a long talk last night. It's time the old Billy Bob back off an' take a break from writing.

No caption needed....

One hell of a ride....

Guess who is the oldest....and smallest. Why do I have a safari hat??? I'm an' adventurer that's why.

"Did ya see where my ball went son"? "Yeah dad, it's up there".


 

I'm nuts over nuts

There was a guy in the mental institution removing lug nuts from the wheels on a car. He says...."I may be nuts, but I ain't crazy".

A candy bar without nuts is just another candy bar. Try removing the nuts from a Snickers an' tell me what ya got. Just another candy bar. Many many years ago...God I can't remember how many, Three Musketeers was my favorite candy bar. Then I found out how much better a candy bar was with nuts. I been "nuts" ever since.

It ain't easy be'n a nut ya know. Once ya get that hard outside shell cracked, inside is a delicious morsel of pure delight. I fell out a tree one time an' broke that hard shell....I been "nuts" ever since. But, I'm misunderstood in so many ways.

Well anyways, I didn't do much of anything yesterday. The neighbors kept me run'n back an' forth from "da house" to "da porch". Every time I start on a little project/chore/job, here come somebody to jabber jaw. We sit out there on "da porch" tell'n "sea stories". Mostly BS. Same stories told over an' over again. "I got shot in the ass in Viet Nam". I fell off a ship into shark infested waters". "I catched a fish [this] big". "I camped on top of Mt. Everest for a week....naked".  Boy howdy, men folk sure do know how to tell some tall tales. I ain't get'n into what wimmins talk bout. I might be nuts, but I ain't crazy.

I spend a freak'n hour clean'n my table/computer station yesterday morn'n. This morn'n....what the hell?, where all this stuff come from? It's a man thing....empty spot, put something in it. It ain't like I got time to be put'n stuff up, with my busy schedule and works in progress....stuff like that ya know. "Right Billy Bob, like you're soooo busy".
Tidiness is for wimmins. Clutter is for men. Is at my house anyhows.

The last couple days, my back has been much better than a week or so ago. See above...."run'n back an' forth". It ain't far from "da house" to "da porch", but when ya make a hunnert trips a day, that's exercise....right? I been sit'n less an' that damn couch, I try to stay slap off it. *got to git that thing fixed* When I sit down, my ass go all the way to the metal frame. That ain't right an' it probly don't help my back any none either.

Ok, old "pesky neighbor" Wayne been driv'n by on the golf cart bout a hunnert times. I'm go'n to "da porch".    

Come on Blogger....publish my post

Today is Saturday, but I didn't know that until a few minutes ago. What is it with old folk that have retired and have no respect for a calendar? Everbody should know what freak'n day it is.

I pondered the comments from yesterday suggest'n I get me a new "first mate". First off, I'm too dad gum old to be even considering such a thing. First mates are permanent ya know, an' ya gotta treat 'em like a wife. Ya got to support 'em an' buy 'em "girlie" stuff. Listen to 'em ramble on bout "wimmins" stuff. An' there's always the age old "git out of bed an' bring 'em a glass of water an' a couple aspirins for a headache". Now I would do that, but not on a permanent basis.First mated can be very demand'n ya know.

The only thing I would consider at my age, other than a "first mate", would be a travel companion. Preferably one with extensive nursing skills. Just thought I would throw that in there *grin'n here*. Not that I'm even look'n for a travel companion or anything like that, but it gives me something to think'n about while I'm sit'n on "da porch" sip'n up a cup.

Ok....gonna try to publish this before it get's too long. You gonna have to come back later to see what else the old Billy Bob has to say for today.

Ok....published like it supposed to do.....Yeee haaw!

Now where were we??? First mates an' travel companions. Think I'll leave it at that.

Flooding in New Mexico. Holy cows, half of New Mexico is flow'n down the Rio Grande river. In fact, the Rio Grande was overflow'n it's banks up further north....had rapids. Elephant Butte Lake is fill'n faster than they can release it. This should be good news for Lake Amistad and Falcon Lake in Texas. As of yesterday, 4 people have died in the floods. Further east, the Pecos River is get'n it's share of the monsoon rains. More water for the lakes on the Rio Grande.  
The Membres River, what normally flows underground in Deming has a above ground water flow of about 3 to 5 feet deep. This is a seldom seen sight in Deming.

After close to a week of rain an' chilly weather, 77 degs is a welcomed sight today. I'm think'n this storm is over. Temps in the mid to upper 80's predicted for next week. I can do that.
  

Blogger not publishing.....Happy Birthday Wayne

I were sit'n there think'n....."damn, life can be boring".
"Well yeah Billy Bob, if'n all ya do is sit there think'n, it's gonna be boring".
It ain't like all I do is sit all day think'n an' drink'n a couple pots of coffee every day.....I do stuff. My "to do" list is down to only 6 chores out of 21. Erasers are outstanding tools.

Fixed a couple lights yesterday what have been either broke, fall'n off the ceiling or just flat out don't work. One need a new light bub.....I blow a freak'n fuse. Now where the hell did I put the spare fuses. *Look'n everwhere for fuses*.....Oh there they are, right where they ain't supposed to be. Put in a new fuse, the dad gum light bub blows. Big flash, skeer hell out me. Well anyhows, enough bout a dad gum light bubs an' fuses....it works....I can see the light.

One light was fall'n slap off the ceiling, just hang'n there. The wood is stripped out where the screws hold it to the ceiling. In case ya didn't know, when God invented toothpicks, he was think'n bout light fixtures fall'n off the ceiling. Ya stick a toothpick in the stripped out hole and the screw hold better than any duck tape, super glue or wire ties. Actually, this trick dates back to the earlier Egyptian and Viking eras. Some them had loose screws too. 

When I sat down in that Mexican restaurant the other day, the place was empty. I was all by myself. As I sat there eat'n chips an' salsa, my mind wandered off to travel destinations. Make'n plans an' stuff. Stuff I was gonna do in a strange place. It was quiet, no body to talk to. That's when I realized I was all alone.....all by myself, an' nobody to share my thoughts, dreams an' adventures with.

Being alone has it's advantages. Just cain't think of any right at this moment. I rekon if'n you was a hermit live'n in a cave or something like that, be'n along would be an advantage. But I don't live in a freak'n cave. I live in "Sally da house"....an' I like to talk ever once in a while. I like to have people around me. Eat'n alone sucks. Did ya know that your mind works over time when ya ain't got nobody to talk to? You wouldn't believe some the thoughts go through my mind.....sheesh, somebody call 911.

 I 'memer back when I took that New Yorker "first mate" Dee Dee on a trip to California with me. Her gums was flap'n a hunnert mile a hour the whole trip....jabber jabber jabber. Damn, don't this girl ever get tired of flap'n her jaws??? One time I would have desired to be alone, if for only one day. I need some relief here ya know. The only thing my mind could think of at the time was how I was gonna shut her up. That girl done turn my brain slap off like she done flip a switch. She beat me at cribbage too. I think she cheats. Ain't nobody can win every game....sheesh!!!

It's been cold an' dreary in Deming for the last week. Low 60's at night....high 60's day time. Rain like hell. Flooding all over the state. But I have wonderful thoughts of Lake Amistad and Falcon Lake full to the brim when I get back into Texas. Big bass fish all over the place.

What do ya buy a guy for his birthday when there ain't nuttin he can do no more? Poor old "pesky neighbor Wayne" is in worser shape than the old Billy Bob. He cain't do nuttin but ride around on a golf cart visit'n an' pesker'n the neighbors. I always buy Wayne a birthday present every year. For his birthday this year, I bought his golf clubs. He can't use them no more and he surely can use the money. Happy Birthday pesky neighbor Wayne.

There is something wrong. My blog is not publishing correctly. Testing with an update.

Happy Birthday Wayne....

I were sit'n there think'n....."damn, life can be boring".
"Well yeah Billy Bob, if'n all ya do is sit there think'n, it's gonna be boring".
It ain't like all I do is sit all day think'n an' drink'n a couple pots of coffee every day.....I do stuff. My "to do" list is down to only 6 chores out of 21. Erasers are outstanding tools.

Fixed a couple lights yesterday what have been either broke, fall'n off the ceiling or just flat out don't work. One need a new light bub.....I blow a freak'n fuse. Now where the hell did I put the spare fuses. *Look'n everwhere for fuses*.....Oh there they are, right where they ain't supposed to be. Put in a new fuse, the dad gum light bub blows. Big flash, skeer hell out me. Well anyhows, enough bout a dad gum light bubs an' fuses....it works....I can see the light.

One light was fall'n slap off the ceiling, just hang'n there. The wood is stripped out where the screws hold it to the ceiling. In case ya didn't know, when God invented toothpicks, he was think'n bout light fixtures fall'n off the ceiling. Ya stick a toothpick in the stripped out hole and the screw hold better than any duck tape, super glue or wire ties. Actually, this trick dates back to the earlier Egyptian and Viking eras. Some them had loose screws too. 

When I sat down in that Mexican restaurant the other day, the place was empty. I was all by myself. As I sat there eat'n chips an' salsa, my mind wandered off to travel destinations. Make'n plans an' stuff. Stuff I was gonna do in a strange place. It was quiet, no body to talk to. That's when I realized I was all alone.....all by myself, an' nobody to share my thoughts, dreams an' adventures with.

Being alone has it's advantages. Just cain't think of any right at this moment. I rekon if'n you was a hermit live'n in a cave or something like that, be'n along would be an advantage. But I don't live in a freak'n cave. I live in "Sally da house"....an' I like to talk ever once in a while. I like to have people around me. Eat'n alone sucks. Did ya know that your mind works over time when ya ain't got nobody to talk to? You wouldn't believe some the thoughts go through my mind.....sheesh, somebody call 911.

 I 'memer back when I took that New Yorker "first mate" Dee Dee on a trip to California with me. Her gums was flap'n a hunnert mile a hour the whole trip....jabber jabber jabber. Damn, don't this girl ever get tired of flap'n her jaws??? One time I would have desired to be alone, if for only one day. I need some relief here ya know. The only thing my mind could think of at the time was how I was gonna shut her up. That girl done turn my brain slap off like she done flip a switch. She beat me at cribbage too. I think she cheats. Ain't nobody can win every game....sheesh!!!

It's been cold an' dreary in Deming for the last week. Low 60's at night....high 60's day time. Rain like hell. Flooding all over the state. But I have wonderful thoughts of Lake Amistad and Falcon Lake full to the brim when I get back into Texas. Big bass fish all over the place.

What do ya buy a guy for his birthday when there ain't nuttin he can do no more? Poor old "pesky neighbor Wayne" is in worser shape than the old Billy Bob. He cain't do nuttin but ride around on a golf cart visit'n an' pesker'n the neighbors. I always buy Wayne a birthday present every year. For his birthday this year, I bought his golf clubs. He can't use them no more and he surely can use the money. Happy Birthday pesky neighbor Wayne.

There is something wrong. My blog is not publishing correctly. Testing with an update.

A trip to town.....

Well, I read bout a hunnert blogs this morn'n, got my "drama" kick from Facebook and read all the news from around the world. Now I suppose I should spend a few minutes and write something on my own blog. Pass on some "drama" to all my friends and update ya on news at home..."Sally da house".

Me an' Sadie Mae loaded up in "that jeep" an' headed to town. We was on a mission. To make a doctors appointment an' get a prescription refill for my blood pressure meds. Been run'n high for the last few days. Appointment was set for October 2. Holy cows, that's still a long ways off. I had planned to be "out of Dodge" by that time. Nice receptionist at the doctors office was kind enough to call in my prescriptions to Walmart for 30 days.

We went right on past the propane sell'n place bout a hunnert mile a hour on the way to town. I were gonna stop an' look see if'n they have a 2 1/2 gallon aluminum propane tank for the Weber grill. But if'n I would'a push the brakes go'n that fast, I would'a put skid marks all over the brand new highway.

This used to be a two lane full of pot holes an' "natures" speed bumps. Now it are brand spank'n new 4 lane smooth as owl poop.

We pass a couple or three used car places. Go out of the way to check out a couple more. Hmmmm, ain't no used Jeep Cherokee Sports in none of 'em. Yeah, I still look'n. Drive by the new car dealerships....they ain't got none neither.

On the way back to town, we whip into the Deming cemetery. That where the dead people hang out ya know. I got relatives in that cemetery....now where the hell are they at. I been here before, but it was 6 years ago. I ain't lost my mind as bad as I was think'n, drove right up to 'em in a round bout way.
These photos are from my Grandma's side of the family....Birchfield. They was popular well knowed ranchers in Deming an' the surrounding area. Everbody knowed William Perry Birchfield and the famous KIL ranch.The KIL consisted of the home ranch, 5 homesteaded branch ranches and 30'000 acres of leased BLM land. It were big.

The Birchfield plot...

My Grandma....rest her dear soul. Left this world during birth of Uncle Luke.

William Perry Sr., rancher/miner.
Many years ago, Pancho Villa says to my Grandpa Victor....."Piepmeier is a good man, Birchield is a sum beech". William Perry was a "hard"man. But ya had to be in Indian territory an' the Indians still kill'n people, steal'n cattle an' stuff, an' scar'n hell out little boys an' girls.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time....was at the home ranch, the KIL. One the Indian chiefs (what the hell was his name) sneek down to the horse correl think'n he was gonna steal GreatGrandpa Perry's horse "Snorter". He climb up on Snorters back an' was bout to depart for higher ground. Well, Snorter was a trained horse. GreatGrandpa whistle a secret message to Snorter. Snorter rare up on his back feet an' that Indian chief hit the ground, feets go'n a hunnert mile a hour into the brush. Damn, what was that Indians name???

Then I hit Walmart. Gonna pick up a half gallon milk an' a loaf of bread. $62 dollar, an' a couple hours later we gonna go eat some Mexican food. Hot damn, that is bout the best salsa I eat in a hunnert years. I order a plate of sizzl'n fajitas. Hot damn, them are bout the best sizzl'n fajitas I eat in a hunnert years. But......the tortillas suck. Paper thin an' hard like a freak'n rock. An' I tell the nice lady too. Tell her they need to go to Walmart to buy tortillas. I'll not be go'n back. The ways I see it, if'n the food is perfect, the tortillas should be also.

Oh Oh....here come old "pesky neighbor Wayne". Be back in a few minutes or not.

He didn't stay long....rain was get'n on him an' it 68 degs out there....big sissy.

Well shoot, there was something I had on my mind to tell ya, but it's gone....poooof, just like that. Be damned to old age.
Laters....





 

Inside chores...2 down an' 20 to go

So it was cold. And it rained all day. But that's OK, it's been cold an' rainy before. I break out a heavy long sleeve shirt...old Billy Bob ain't gonna be cold. Then last night I break out a 'lectric heater....old Billy Bob ain't gonna be cold.

When I waked up yesterday morn'n I was think'n,...."I got lots to do today". Just little piddle stuff ya know, but something to keep me busy. Well, I sure as hell weren't gonna be do'n nuttin outside....that for sure. It all started off as a little shower, and it lasted for the rest of the day, never shut'n down for lunch or nuttin. There was little ponds all over the park. Could'a go fish'n.

Inside I look at my "to do list". I grabs holt to some heavy duty hand tools...screwdrivers, hand saw, portable drill an' a bunch of screws. An' a big ol' hammer an' some duct tape. A new propane monitor has been installed.

A new light has been installed over the stove so's I can see what the hell I'm cook'n.

This would usually be a 1 hour job, consider'n all the freak'n tools I brung in "da house".  I had everthing except the table saw. Bout 3 hours later, I'm finished...and a pile of tools lay'n on the floor yet to be put in their proper place.

Scratch 2 items off'n the "to do" list....yee haw!!!

Then old "pesky Wayne shows up on "da porch". He needs help find'n a part for the lawn tractor. I scoured that tractor from top to bottom look'n for numbers....any numbers, but mostly the model number. It ain't there. So  I spent the next 4 hours search'n the internet. Walla, I find the part number, but still no model number.

Have ya ever weed a garden? With a hoe? If'n ya have, ya know it's kind of like a little hand held bulldozer move'n dirt all over the garden. Well, some feller come up with a neat device called a "hula hoe".

It cuts through the dirt like owl poop, chop them weed slap off underground an' leave the dirt in place. I know 'cause I use one. That answers the question from Joey..."what the hell is a hula hoe"?

Another day of nuttin.....I like that

Holy cows, I didn't do nuttin yeterday. Well, I did, but nuttin productive. That is unless clean dishes sit'n on the counter an' a fresh sweeped floor is productive. My god, why does it take so long to do dishes an' sweep a floor???

We was sit'n out there on "da porch". I decides I'm gonna swak me up some golf balls. You know bout the new driver I picked up bout a month ago, right? Well, I tees up a ball, rares back am let 'er fly. Holy cows, that ball go a hunnert mile. I hits some more. They all lay'n out there in the desert not more than a couple feets apart. That's accuracy. Look out Barney, I'm gonna be in the fairway for a change. 

Speak'n of golf. I been somewhat skeered to be swak'n golf balls 'cause of my back. Most ever time I play a round, I pay for it with leg cramps that night. Last night I didn't have none....sleep all night long. Although, I am a mite stiff this morn'n. Anyhows, I may head on down to the local golf course here in a couple days....swak 'em up good. That is if'n the rain ever stops.

Travel'n man says to the old farmer standing out in a rainstorm...."ya think this rain will ever stop"??
Farmer says...."it always has".
Farmers are short on words.

Went outside an' grab holt to a hula hoe yesterday. There dad gum goat head stickers all over the place....in "da house" too. Ya ever step on a goat head in the middle the night on your way to the bathroom? I mean to tell ya, you gonna wake slap up in a hurry. Like bout in a half a second. Ya probly gonna say a few obscenities too. I know I do.

My god, you should'a see that BLT. I throw me bout 6 slices bacon on the grill, slice me up a mater, a bunch of lettuce....yeah boy howdy....Dagwood would'a been proud. When I brew me up a sammich, I brews me up big 'uns. Sucker weigh bout a pound.

Well shoot, I'm just flat lost for something to write bout this morn'n. I'm gonna leave it at that.....I'm done. Laters.  

A little bout nuttin

Somebody git'n wrong ideas bout the old Billy Bob an' the "clean'n lady". All I'm want'n is to get "Sally da house" cleaned, that's all. None that hanky panky stuff y'all been suggest'n. But then, with a purty lady do'n the clean'n....an' me sit'n back watch'n.....well, I can appreciate that I betcha a dollar.

Trouble....I done did a bunch of research in the last two years on laser back surgery. It's not all it's cut out to be as advertised. Too many bad stories, law suits an' such....not many good stories, or recommendations by real doctors. An' the costs??? Holy cows!!! Not sure if'n Medicare covers laser surgery an' my secondary, BCBS, may not neither. Hell, I don't know. 

Hot damn....I jump on the "billy bike" yesterday an' take me a little ride. Just head up the dirt road a piece. "I ain't gonna make it back to "da house". My legs feel like somebody was beat'n hell out them with a stik. I didn't even know I had muscles in some them places....hurt like hell I mean to tell ya. I park that sucker right now, go sit on "da porch". But.....only had one leg cramp last night an' this morn'n my back don't feel too bad. Exercise???? Who knows?

I ain't do'n worth a poop on that "to do" list. I sit out there on "da porch sip'n up a cup read'n all them little chores I got wrote down an' I get all wored slap out an' stuff just think'n bout 'em. A good eraser would take care of most of 'em an' I would feel much better bout the whole thing.

Holy crap, I went look'n for another blanket last night. I waked up bout 4am an' I had little goose bumps on me. It surely ain't winter already is it? Nope, false alarm....it's 80 degs outside at 10am.
I ain't ready for winter yet ya know. 'Specially into the first week or so of September.

I rekon I ought to run down to Doctor Fronkinstein's office an' make me a appointment....git me another year supply of drugs. I'm bout out ya know. Sit an' listen to him rant an' rave bout smok'n an' stress tests. I'm think'n I need a brand spank'n new heart doctor. Like one in Corpus Christi, Texas. That's my new home base again ya know.

Ok, got to get outside an' sit on "da porch" Beautiful weather out there ya know. Read my "to do" list again.....then take a nap.

Deming New Mexico update....grrrrrr

Whoa boy howdy.....

I had me one night of good sleep only to be replaced with a terrible one the next night. The good night was after the brakes on "Sally da house" was fixed. But they still in question until I do a road test. Down the road an' back ya know.

Then I got to think'n bout that bolt thingy. Got all stress out again an' don't sleep worth a crap. Stay up till 2:30am watch'n some stupit stuff on the TV an' get all work up over a freak'n bolt.....drink'n coffee an' smok'n little cigars.

I done made the decision I ain't gonna do nuttin with my back in Deming. There ain't NO back doctors in Deming. If'n there was, I wouldn't trust 'em anyhows. I don't even trust my cardiologist. All he do is whine bout my "little cigars" an' bitch an' moan 'cause I refuse to subject my body to a freak'n stress test. That's just me, that's the way I am an' I ain't gonna change.

The first day I arrived in Deming, I started me a little "to do" list. I do that all the time ya know, so's I don't forget stuff what needs done. Now I have a list 14 items long of yet to do stuff. Little stuff. No projects....just fix stuff.

I'm already think'n bout where I'm gonna go after it gets cold in Deming. I ain't got no idea. But I can assure ya one thing, it ain't gonna be anywhere's I got to fire up the Mr Heater. I'm think'n golf course an' a lake near by since that's all I can do anymore. Bike ride'n is probly out of the question. Jump on that thing the other day.....damn, my legs hurt like hell. "Think electric Billy Bob....a 'lectric bike". I purty much give up on that idea too. Before anybody says "gasoline" power, I ain't tote'n no damn gas can around with me. Catch fire an' burn down "da house".

I was think'n maybe somewheres 'round Comfort Texas for the golf courses, but it's still hot in Deming. Del Rio is definitely on  my travel list. Maybe catch me up a big ol' bass out of Lake Amistad.

Oh, did I mention the Rio Grande river? Don't remember if'n I did or not. When I cross it in Las Cruces, the damn thing ain't got no water in it. The widest point I could see was bout 30 feet wide an' the flow was at a standstill. This is the mighty Rio Grande....where the hell all the water?

Gonna have us some nice weather next week. In the low to mid 80's day time an' low 60's night. Actually, it been in the 60's at night for the last week.

An update on my memory foam topper I tole ya I was gonna do. I should'a have me one these things years ago. I'm sold. I climbs in bed, my body sinks down in that thing an' I ain't got no pain. Sleep good...unless I'm think'n bout bolts an' stuff.   

Build me a pizza bread last night. French bread, actually Italian bread, sausage, pepperoni, maters, bell pepper, mushrooms an' a bunch of cheese.  Fire up the Weber to 400 degrees an' throw that thing in there. On my cast iron griller skillet thingy of course. Damn, that tastes pretty dad gum good for a rookie. Didn't catch a fire or nuttin like that.

 Forgot the onions an' jalepenos.....shoot!!!

Got me a clean'n lady I been think'n bout hire'n for a deep clean on "da house". But she "purty". Don't know if'n the two of us could be in the same room at the same time. I ain't dead yet ya know. Dang, I like "purty" wimmins.

Ok.....got  things to do. Laters....
 

Sit'n still, I got brakes

Old "pesky neighbor" Wayne look'n good. 

After a tiring an' long day, I think I got brakes. Not road tested mind ya, but they feel soooo much better than a few days ago when they didn't work worth a crap. Could'a kill myself ya know....maybe somebody else too.

In case ya wanna know, I was patient. I waited for Mark.

Ya see, it's like this....after I finish my first mug of coffee an' get both eyes wide open, I climbs up under "Sally da house"....just to take a look see. Need a part number. My gosh, they install all that brake stuff way up there in a tiny little space bout 4 inches wide. I cain't see the hydroboost to get a part number off'n it. It's hid behind this chunk of metal with a hunnert bolts through it. But I can see the bell crank what Mark is gonna work on today.

Speak'n of Mark, here he come with a big ol' tool box an' a piece of carpet for lay'n on the ground. We got them goat head stickers ya know. We sit on "da porch" an' discuss the brake pedal what is no longer binding up an' stuff like that. We run a hydroboost brake booster test an' pass with fly'n colors. Or we think we passed anyhows. The decision was made to proceed with our original plan, disassemble the bell crank and related brake operator levers what could be binding. Mark goes to work. Nut's an' bolts fly'n all direction. The bell crank is removed. "It's rather tight don't ya think Mark"? (Hard to turn). Took it apart, cleaned and greased 'er up....slick as owl poop, ready to reinstall. Mark finds a machined bolt thingy what is froze stifffer an' a board. Won't turn, an' it supposed to...pivot point for the hydroboost lever.

That's the hydroboost lever there an' that bolt thingy is supposed to turn inside the lever.
Ain't no way we gonna ever get it out. I'm bout a hunnert percent....or so, sure this is where the problem lies with the brake pedal binding up. We make a modification.....that gonna work just fine.

Mark has everthing put back together....test time. Holy cows, that feel just like brand spank'n new. I fire up the 8.1 Chevy Vortec, the hydroboost kicks in, I push the pedal, it go down bout 4 inch or so an' come right back up when I take my big foot off the pedal. (Workhorse says 6 inch brake travel normal. So I beat normal by a couple inches. Yeee har!!!

A trip to Walmart....Deming New Mexico

Brake systems and repair seems to be the subject of interest. Can the old Billy Bob muster enough patience to wait for his mechanic Mark, or is he gonna climb under "da house" an' do it his self? Either way is acceptable.

Can I hurt myself? Well, I rekon there's always a possibility....like if the ground suddenly gave way an' da house" sinked on top of an old man just lay'n there look'n at stuff. Anybody, even a 5 year old, can loosen a few bolts an' remove a couple little parts. I don't need no stink'n chassis manufacturer (Workhorse) to do that....closest Workhorse repair facility is in Las Cruces, bout 60 miles. BUT....the last I heard, that facility no longer exists.

Is this a bug or is it a critter with teeth? I don't know, but when he landed on me, I bet ya a dollar I skeer him as much as he skeer me. My god, I jump 5 feets. I don't like bugs an' such do'n no land'n exercises on me ya know. There was also a pray'n mantis in "da house" too. Did ya know they eat a whole freak'n fly in less than 30 seconds? Legs an' all. Had a big 'un on "da porch" one time. Feed him flys an' stuff with a toothpick. He attack the humming birds. Probly would a got his ass whooped if'n he would a catched one. Bugs are cool.

I jump in "that jeep" an' head to town. Look out people in the Walmart park'n lot, here come the old Billy Bob. I start look'n round at stuff, plac'n a few little "cain't do without" items in my shop'n cart. Then I head off to the grocery department. "You're block'n the ****** aisle ladies". Now get this, I'm on the bread, coffee, coffee mate isle. I need 'em all. There's a cart parked in front the bread I want, nobody around....and a open purse in the cart. She's talk'n to her neighbor 10 feet away, blocking the aisle to all traffic com'n an' go'n. A simple "excuse me" gets the cart moved...and she go back to talk'n to her neighbor, right where my next purchase is sit'n on the shelf. Another "excuse me" moves them in front of the coffee. I'm out of coffee ya know. It's been like a hour an' I'm get'n a little pissed that these women wait till they get to Walmart for a good talk.....I hollers... "you're blocking the eff'n aisle ladies". And they was, nobody could get through. I suggest they spend the next 10 minutes over in the ladies wear department so's I can get my shop'n done. You would'a think I "B" slap the fat one across the mouth. Her lips was flap'n some kind of obscenities.....and she give me that look.
As I rounded the corner, there they are, still flap'n jaws. Just for the hell of it, I says to the nice lady that left her cart back there..."if that was your cart back there, I think some guy just took your purse". You talk bout break'n up a jaw'n session....yeah boy howdy, that lady could move.

Check out was no better, although there was no line to wait in. The checker girl was bend over the counter read'n a newspaper flyer or something like that. I says..."are you open"? I start fill'n up the automatic conveyer thingy an' it don't move. I says...."can you turn this thing on"? She puts her flyer down...flip the switch....and go back to her flyer. I ain't done yet, that flyer must have been interesting. She's bag'n my groceries....put a half gallon jug of milk in with my fresh bread. "Ya smashed my bread". Then I wait for a new loaf of bread. She goes back to her flyer. Finally after a five minute wait to replace my smashed bread... "That'll be $102 dollars" she pick up that damn flyer again while I'm swipe'n my card. This is probly a graduate from some local community college. This is Walmart. Ya gotta love Walmart employees.

I get back to "da house", tote my purchases inside an' go sit on "da porch....wored slap out. Still no mechanic. I read a few comments on the blog. Maybe I need to practice some patience. So I thought no more bout the damn brakes for the rest of the day. But I dream'n bout 'em. Here I are go'n down this long grade off the top a mountain. I'm push'n them brakes as hard I can. Go'n a hunnert mile a hour. I waked up with a leg a freak'n cramp.