Friday, April 29, 2016

Still alive....an' kick'n

When ya climb that last mountain, an' your bucket list is now empty, there are no more mountains to climb. When I reached the peak of that mountain I had forfilled my last dream. I reached inside my bucket an' the damn thing was empty. "What ya gonna do now Billy Bob"?

That last mountain was a few years back, something like bout 5 years when I left Deming, NM for the last time. All that was left was to just ride around an' look at things, stay in one spot for extended stays...dread the thought of "on the road again". After 13 years I'm think'n I did a pretty good job.

But....as I began to desend from that last mountain top, I took a few falls. Each fall bringed on another fall until I said to hell with it....if'n I make it to the bottom in one piece, I've had a good life.

Ok, that water leak in the heater core of the "billy jeep" is fixed. Well not really fixed, but temporally fixed. I put a jug of radiator stop leak in that sucker (Bars leak). That should hold me for bout a year if'n I don't drive it over 5 mile a week. Speak'n of driv'n it, I ain't drive it a good 6 months. There is still a "code" in the computer an' it gonna cost bout $500 to fix it. I ain't bout to walk home if'n that sucker dies out on the road somewheres. Like Walmart or something like that.
Ha ha
Oh, did I mention bout the a/c in the "billy jeep"? Grrrrrrr....that sucker ain't got the first ounce of refrigerant in the system. A leak. I'm a a/c guy so I gonna throw my guages on that thing, put in a can of freon, inject some ultraviolet leak indicator in there an' fire it up for a bit. Probly 2 cans of freon so's the low pressure switch will kick in.....think'n $$$$. Then break out my uv light thingy an' see where the leak is at. Then fix that sucker.

I mentioned before that the SI nerve kill'n did a wonderful job on the hip pains. Then while I was fix'n up the couch, mov'n the destop an' bring'n the couch back in "da house", my back an' hip began to hurt again. I goes to the doctor an' he inject some stuff in F3, F4 an' F5. Last bout 2 weeks. Yesterday I goes to the doc again, an' he inject somemore that stuff in there. Supposed to last bout 6 to 8 months. Then he says come back in 2 weeks, we gonna inject some on the left side where a new pain showed up. *think bout fall'n down that mountain*. This morn'n I don't feel much pains.

I've pretty much made the decision to apply for residency in Georgia. As much as I hate the idea. I was look'n at their rules an' holy crap, I got to get a lot of stuff together. As hard as I try, I got to have a birth certificate to prove that I am a living US citizen an' not a illegal. That's for driver license. Shoot, illegals get driver licenses with NO papers at all. Good ol' US of A......yeeeee haa!!!

Anyhows, I got on the internet night for last an' order my birth thingy. It will be here this afternoon. Now that's what I call super faaaast for a government agency. Last time I had to get my birth thingy, it took over two weeks to get it. Now all I got to do is listen for the UPS guy to show up. "Sadie Mae, bark when he get here". Ha ha, just check UPS tracking....it's on the truck for delivery.

There ain't really been no good news to post bout the old Billy Bob. It's just been a "sit on yer ass" couple weeks here. I cancelled my hernia surgery cause I don't like needles an' stuff. The hernia don't bother me at all an' the doc said it was OK to wait. Ha, how freak'n long is it OK to wait?

Ok, I'm gonna go sit outside an' sip me up a cup....do some think'n. See ya all laters.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Where have ya been Billy Boy, where have ya been charming Billy????

This is gonna be short. I betcha you heard me say that before an' then read for the next 14 hours of Billy Bob stuff.

Well let's start ff with a couple doctor appointments. I went to my back doctor an' he stick this big ass needle in my lower back. I was think'n it was gonna be just one shot, but he give me three. Inject some shit in there to help relieve some pain. Ha, it worked....but for just a short while. More on that later.
Now let me tell ya bout the nice nurse lady, or what ever. She come in to the little room where they ask me all kind of questions, take my blood pressure....stuff like that. She prepares to place a needle in my hand veins for the sedation stuff. By the tone of her voice and some the stuff she was say'n...."no Mr Billy Bob, I'm gonna place this big ass needle in the vein I choose....not your choice". Not think'n, I says to her..."I don't think I trust you". Big mistake Billy Bob....she hurt the hell out me. An' poooof, she was gone, just like that.

The next day, I goes off to the hernia doctor. He does some push'n here an' push'n there...."Yep, you got a hernia". I asks him all the questions I had wrote down an' he answer 'em all. Yes he can do local anesthesia with sedative. He says I don't HAVE to have surgery right now but he recommends it, as do all hernia doctors. I ain't yet decided if'n I will or if'n I won't. Ya see, with my age an' some risk with my health issues an' not know'n how much longer I'll live, I'm think'n maybe I'll wait. He says it may be years before I have complications....if any at all.

Then me an' Robert goes to Walmart. I'm gonna go buy me something to eat. We got us a couple more aisles to complete my shop'n....my back begins to pain me. I gotta git out of here. It's been hurt'n ever since.

Remember I was tell'n ya bout replac'n my awning material? Well, it arrived a couple three days ago. Me an Robert was sit'n out on the deck yesterday an' we decided to unwind the spring tension on the roller an' change the material another day. Well, we undo that tension so fast we still got a ton of sunshine left. We changed the material an' did the adjustments. Awning is finished.
 Big picture 'cause I'm proud of our work. Ha, looks just like any other awning you will see on a RV.

I'm at a complete loss as to what I'm gonna do. I'm think'n that my travel days are finished an' I need a place to live. I got two choices if'n I want to be close to family. Georgia an' Texas. My older children (5 of 'em) live in Georgia an' my younger ones (two) live in Texas. The two in Texas have no place available to park a big ass motorhome in their yard an' they are very busy with their lives. Watch'n over me 24 hours a day is next to impossible. Now here in Georgia, parked in "yo mama's" yard an' son Robert liv'n in the downstairs apartment, I have continuous "look after me". Get me anything I need, drive me to doctor appointments.....free eat 'em ups yum yum, all that good stuff.
Ok, I don't like Georgia, I like Texas. So what do ya do? I have applications to change residency to Georgia....man boy howdy, you wouldn't believe the hassle. But I ain't done nuttin bout fill'n 'em out yet. Decisions decisions.....!!!!

We finally got us some air condition weather. Be in the lower 80's this week. Ha ha, gonna sweat my ass off an' then complain "it's too hot". That's the way it works in a spoiled society. Too hot....too cold.

Ok, I'm gonna leave ya wonder'n "what's Billy Bob gonna do?" until next time.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Short an' to the point

Ok Barney, your followers miss you and want you to come back home with your blog.

I ain't been feel worth a crap for the last 4 or 5 days.....closer to a freak'n week. When I was do'n all that strenuous heavy lift'n an' stuff to make repairs to the couch an' reinstall it back in "Sally da house", I'm think'n I did something to my lower back....again. An' it was feel'n sooo good until I did that shit.
My energy level is so low I can hardly open up a can of Campbells Chicken Noodle soup. Seriously, I ain't got enough energy to do nuttin. But....today I feel a little bit better. So we'll see how that works out.

I want you lookie here. UPS just delivered the brand spank'n new awning material. And...."mama nature" just deliver rain for the next few days. That cold front has passed an' warmer weather on the way. Did I tell ya it got down to 31 degs a few nights ago?  Anyhows, I cain't wait to install the new awning material. "Be careful them springs Billy Bob, they can hurt ya".

Couple more days to get that injection in L5 of my lower back. Hope it does some good. Then the next day (friday), I got to be to the hospital to meet up with the hernia doctor. At freak'n 8:30 in the morning. 8:30 in the morn'n I ain't even finish half a cup of coffee. I'm gonna rekon they gonna do a bunch of test an' shit on me, be'n that early in da morn'n. You watch, the first thing they gonna do is suck a quart of blood out me when all they need is a couple drops.

Dad gum Leonard bringed another bird wing in "da house". I done tole him to leave them birds be, but he don't listen to what I says. I rekon if'n ya got a cat, ya also got a bunch of dead birds. But why the hell does he have to bring 'em in the house for me to clean up? Do ya remember the little humm'n bird he bringed for me to see? Sure am glad he didn't kill it.

Bout them meds I was talk'n bout that has dizzy side effects. I still ain't took one yet. But I'm think'n bout it just to see how dizzy they make me. I DO need 'em ya know.

Speak'n of meds. You shoulda see how many bottles I throwed in the dumpster. Side effects suck.

Ok, that bout it for this visit. See ya laters.


Thursday, April 7, 2016

I was a prankster......at one time in my life

Ha ha, me an' Robert was sit round last night. I got to talk'n bout the good ol' days when I was knowed to pull pranks on people. That part of my life even went back into my teenage days, but we ain't gonna be talk'n bout them days today. Let's set our minds on the late 80's an' up to bout 2001....or there bouts.

But before I get into my prankster days, let's talk bout this damn coffee pot I bought. It's a espensive sucker an' make a pot of coffee faster than ever I knowed possible....think 4 minutes to brew 8 cups. But, there a couple or three or four things I don't like bout it. First, there is no way in hell you can pour a cup of coffee, like I could with my dead Mr. Coffee, while it's brew'n. You got to wait for the brew to finish. Then ya got to wait for the coffee to drain out the coffee grinds thingy. Bout 8 minute wait for a cup of coffee. I don't like that. Then there's the fact that I have to used a estra scoop of grinds to get the strong flavor I like. Then it has a freak'n lid ya gotta screw on top the pot when all the wait'n is done. An' last but not least, I don't like the flavor, what I suppose is from the super fast brew time. This sucker has got a 1500 watt brew heater in it.
Think'n seriously bout buy'n me up another Mr Coffee.

Ok, while I was work'n at the University of Tejas, my fellow workers never knowed what might happen when I come into view. Ya see, I love pranks. Not on me, but other people. An' it don't make no difference who them people are.
I was stand'n over there in my work are sip'n up a cup an' hav'n a smoke. The supervisor come out an' says....."Piep*****, the director says he is hot, the a/c ain't work'n". Well, I got me a smoke to finish up an' a few more sips of coffee to finish......let's make the director a portable a/c unit. Some sticks an' some paper is quickly glued together. I jump in my service truck an' heads to the directors office. I hands the director a little hand held fan with his name on it. I catched hell from the supervisor, but the director kept that fan on his desk for the nest 5 years. I DID adjust his thermostat before I left.

We was over at the other facility, supervisor, plumber an' me. There was a leak on a air vent on the heating system hot water pipes....way up in the ceiling. Ladder required. For me to get up the ladder to the air vent weren't near as close fit'n as it was for the plumber, be'n he was much bigger than I was. Jim climbs up the ladder, wind'n his way through an' around ceiling grid, electric conduit, a/c vent piping.....he's to the last step on the 8 foots ladder. He holler down, "hand me the 16 inch channel locks". What the supervisor hands up. Plumber Jim start holler'n..."Damn you Piep*****", an' few other choice cuss'n words. Ya see, here's what I did. As Jim was going up the ladder, blabber'n shit all the way 'cause it was a tight squeeze, I tightens the the nut on the channel locks so's it don't open up.

Jim the plumber was a easy mark for pranks. He had a roll around shop tool chest an' every morn'n he would open the drawer an' get out a few tools. Opening that drawer was my que to pull a prank. A hole was drill in the back of his tool cabinet an' a heavy piece of string was run through the hole an' hook up to the drawer. The other end that heavy string was connected to the squeeze handle on a big ass fire extinguisher. You git'n the picture ain't ya? The nozzle was placed under the tool cart point'n where his feet would be. Then we sitted back an' wait for Jim. Jim grab the drawer handle an' give it a tug.....it don't open. Then he rare back an' give a great big tug on that drawer. Out from under that tool chest come this humungus cloud. Skeer hell out poor old Jim while he's back'n up bout 10 15 feets hold'n his heart in his hands. "Damn you Piep*****"!!!

Supervisor an' plumber Jim was work'n on a steam generator over on my workbench. Bout a hunnert pound piece of equipment with some burn slap up wiring. I just happen to be in the shop when they was bout finish their repairs. I walks up an' make a few remarks...."you sure you guys know what yer do'n"? Supervisor give me one them looks......ha ha, he had no idea what that look would cost him. I pulls a big firecracker out my pocket an' I unbeknownest to them, I place it under the rim of the steam generator. I then casually walk off. I'm watch'n carefully as they hook up the 230 volt test leads. I heads that way with a lit smoke in my hand. Supervisor reach up to turn the power switch on as I reach down an' touch my smoke to the bug ass firecracker....an' I casually walk off again. Supervisor flip the switch, we have power....an' then that firecracker go off. There's a big cloud of smoke an' them guys is back'n up a hunnert mile a hour. "DAMN YOU PIEP*****"!!!!

Boat crew guy had a boat in the shop work'n on the drive system.....under the boat (inboard/outboart). As I casually walk past the rear of the boat where he is work'n, I drop a lit firecracker. BABOOOOM, he hits his head on the bottom of the boat. He was a little bit pissed, but his only words were...."Damn you Piep*****"!!!

Jim the plumber come back to the shop one day. He had fount a bag of corks what fit perfectly in 1/2 inch pvc pipe. Placing a air hose in one end of that pipe, squeeze the handle an' that cork would reach the other end of the shop. Jim was shoot'n people with corks. More of us got involved. We done run slap out of corks. Hmmmmm, wonder how far a plastic pvc cap will shoot. Ok, I'm a modifier as most of you already know. I grabs a short piece of 1 inch PVC, adapt the other end to fit the air hose an' I shoots a 1 inch PVC cap to the other end of the shop.....aim'n high so's not to knock nobody slap out. The walls of the shop are 25 feet high, an' in the wall up close to the top is a huge exhaust fan with louvers on it. The two carpenters are work'n at a bench right under that fan. On the louvers is a accumulation of dust an' dirt....probly bout 10 years worth. POOOOOFF!!!!, I shoots that 1 inch PVC cap at the exhaust fam. BAAAAAM......like a shot gun hit it. Down come all the dirt an' dust....all over the 2 carpenters. That was the end of shoot'n corks in the shop.

In summer time, we would get into water fights. You know, toss a cup of ice cold water on somebody....an' run like hell. Well, me an' mechanic Charlie, we done pass the stage of a cup of water. We graduated to half a 5 gallon bucket full. We had  some scooters what were used for small jobs, run;n back an' forth to the offices.....stuff like that. Ok, a young feller named Veril took off to the offices on a errand to pick up some shit for the storekeeper. He'll be back in just a few minutes. Me an' Charlie loads up our 5 gallon buckets of water an' hide on each side the roll up door.....wait'n for Veril to drive through. We gonna douse him good. I head a scooter. I takes a look see. Ha ha, it's the supervisor....not Veril. I'm gonna prank Charlie...."here he come Charlie, git ready".
Supervisor drive through the door an' Charlie let loose with his bucket of water. I had already walked off from my position. Boy howdy let me tell ya, poor old Charlie got him a ass chew'n like he ain't never have.

One more on plumber Jim. I tole you he was easy....right. Well Jim had acquired a big 6 foots high double door cabinet. Before lunch he was design'n the shelving system he needed. I mean he was put'n some effort into this project. Cut'n this, cut'n that, git'n it all laid out. Lunch time Jim takes off for lunch. The old Billy Bob gits him a idea. A simple idea. Turn the cabinet upside down.
Jim comes back from lunch an' heads to his cabinet project. Opens the doors, starts tak'n measurements an' cut'n an' install'n some shelves. That's when Jim notices something ain't right.
"DAMN YOU PIEP*****"!!!! Believe it of not, Jim toss that big ass cabinet out of the shop he were so pissed. But he bringed it back in after he cooled off.

Supervisor was stand'n in the storekeepers area.....behind a steel door. I owe the supervisor for him skeer'n the shit out me when he slam a sledge hammer against the steel plate under the tire changer thingy net to where I was work'n. Yeah, I jump a foot straight up. Anyhows, I takes a 4 foot 2*4, turn it on edge, place one end against the steel door an' with the force of Hulk Hogan, I slam the other end against the door. In the shop, it sound like a shot gun, but the storekeeper later tell me it sound like a cannon on the inside. Supervisor had to take a break an' sit down for a spell. Ha....we even.

One of the grounds crew catched a snake an' put it in my work truck. I like to shit my pants when I see that snake crawl'n round in the truck. I'm gonna git even. At the University, there are many stray cats what people drop off. An' they freak'n wild as hell. The grounds guy is work'n just around the corner. With my cast net, I catched the biggest cat I could find an' I heads off to where the grounds guy parked his work truck. He don't see me pull up. I eases the door of his truck open an' let that cat out of the cast net in the truck. Boy howdy, you talk bout a pissed cat. Then I went off an' waited for the fireworks. I don't know where that cat was, but as soon as the grounds guy started the truck, that cat come slap alive. I was later called to the office for a ass chew'n....but it was worth it.

Ok, that's all the pranks I'm gonna share today. But, there are many many more.

For the last 4 days I have been feel'n kind a sorta on the terrible side. I ain't got one ounce of energy an' I got me whole bunch of hurt'n muscles. Think'n maybe I over did it with the couch. Also get'n them damn backards leg cramps almost ever night. Sit in my office chair twist'n my back around this way an' that way an' after bout 20 minutes them leg cramps are gone.

Doc prescribed me some medicine to shrink my prostrate. Oh boy, let me tell ya bout the side effects. Lowers blood pressure to the point where you get dizzy....don't git up fast the pharmacist tell me. Don't stand for any length of time (dizzy). Feel'n tired an' weak. Stuffy nose, upset stomach, headaches. Damn, not sure I want to take this shit or not. Terazosin 5mg if'n ya want to know.

Yesterday I builded an' installed a Chris Craft boat shelf above the entrance door. Put the boat up there an' don't like it. Today I took the shelf down. The only other place to put it to build a plexiglass shelf in front of the winder at my desktop. That would be nice I'm think'n. Ha, do you know how much 3/8 inch plexiglass costs? Maybe oak would be cheaper.

Holy crap, I forgot to publish this. It's freak'n after midnight an' I started this this morn'n.    


Saturday, April 2, 2016

I lowered it (the couch)

Ok, I got a few minutes from my hectic work schedule that I can write a few words. Boy howdy let me tell ya, the old Billy Bob been busy as a freak'n honey bee. I said 'honey" for all the ladies out there. "Hey honey, watch this".

I was sit'n on the couch an' I placed a 2 inches piece of something under my feet. Holy cows, the couch is much more comfortable with 2 inches under my feet. Sits much better. At this point I done decided to lower the couch 2 inches. An' that exactly what I did......for the necks 2 days. An' boy howdy let me tell ya, that was a chore. Heavy shit too. Anyhows, it's all put back together an' I'm think'n, it looks pretty damn nice. Sits pretty good too, but the foam rubber is a mite too stout (firm). Seat height is 20 inches.

See what I'm talk'n bout??? Sadie May says...."Oh yes, I got my couch back".

I was tell'n Robert an' "yo mama" I was gonna put can goods back under the couch. That when "yo mama" says...."take that hobby shit out of the closet an' put it under the couch". Ha, now why the hell didn't I think of that? Hobby stuff is under the couch an' I have half a closet for can goods an' other stuff.

Awning repair. I was gonna do a redneck repair on the awning material, but after a close look, I ordered new material. The awning rolls up loose on one end an' the freak'n tension springs inside the roller make god awful noises. The only ways to check 'em the springs is to remove them from the roller. A very dangerous job for a rookie. The springs are under tension an' that tension has to be let loose...safely. I done it before so's don't worry bout the old Billy Bob mak'n a visit to the emergency room. Replacement springs have been located on Ebay just in case they need changed out. You know, like broke an' shit like that.

Before installation of the couch, I removed the beautiful walnut flooring under it. A 5/8 inch shim has to be installed....ain't gonna tell ya why (that's how thick the walnut flooring was). Robert is gonna jack up the end of the slide out to install the shim....but he's boiling taters for tater salad. I hope the hell he knows how to peel taters 'cause I ain't gonna eat no tater peel'ns. Ha, went to Hardies the other day an' the freak'n french fries had peels on 'em. I don't eat tater peels.

I rekon I been on my feet too much for the last couple weeks.....my freak'n back is kill'n me. For the last 3 nights I had me a ton of them dreaded backards leg cramps. An' I'm gonna tell ya right now, if'n you ain't never had one, you ain't never gave birth to a 12 pounds baby boy. These things is ten times worser than a regular leg cramp an' it takes ten times longer to get rid of 'em. Tendons or what ever ya call 'em is tighter than a "C" note pianner string.

Leonard has done catched....an' ate, his second bird. Bringed a wing inside "da house" for me to see an' pat him on the back. I tole him bout a hunnert times to leave them birds be, but Leonard is a critter hunter an' he says to me...."Oh yeah? Watch this". Damn cat.

Ok, this is all for today. See's ya laters.