Thursday, December 31, 2009

Sunshine in da desert

Just got some pics back from the developers in New York City of the Christmas dinner. That would be Billy Bob in the center load'n up a plate.

Boy howdy....it were a wonderful night for sleep'n. Didn't get lower than 48 degs last night and I waked up to a beautiful sun shiny morn'n. Gonna charge them batteries slap up in nuttin flat. Got the door swung wide open for the dogs to go in and out...in and out and in and out. Crazy dogs!!

On the agenda today will be further construction on that solar oven and of course, sit'n on da porch sip'n a cup and do'n some think'n. Did ya know that a thoughtless mind gonna cause ya trouble??? Ya got to think!!!

Fount me a new blog to follow yesterday night....don't know how I fount it, but he's an old fart bout my age and he "makes stuff". Right down my line of think'n. Ya might wanna check him out....right over there in the right...call himself "Old Fool". Or....Click here.

Ok, I got stuff to do.....after I brew me up something to eat for breakfast.

Boy howdy, old Billy Bob done be piss off, mad like a dog...fight'n mad. So freak'n mad I could squeeze a grape. Well....maybe not that mad. I spend all afternoon build'n that inside box....beautiful job...to fit in that outside box...beautiful job...but the damn thing won't fit right. What they say in China..."this tea don't taste right"??? Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

Rekon we gonna have a big ol' bon fire tonight. Someone brung in a load of wood what from my house look like it gonna burn some BIG flames. I like fire.....big fires. I also like loud noises....like firecrackers and guns. Git all 'cited think'n bout it.

Ok....I'm out of here for the day. Dinner on the stove and almost time to fire up the campfire.
See's ya tomorrow...same time, same station.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Project day

Boy howdy, ain't this fun? Here I been sit'n round talk'n to myself...get'n some really weird answers to my questions most the time. But soon as I start post'n bout one the hardest decisions of my life, suggestions start fall'n out the sky. Suggestions what make me wanna do some think'n. Good suggestions.....'cept'n for that OGT feller. It ain't like I got a whole lifetime to decide something. I got to do something NOW. While I still can. Two years....sheesh!!!

Jist in case some you new folks don't have the slightest what I'm talk'n bout.....old Billy Bob ain't got no home....no place to live....lives on the street.....begg'n for food....worn out clothes....ain't got no money in his pockets....lost in a tangled world of misfits. Hehehehe....don't ya just love being retired.

Woke up so late this morn'n I was think'n it was tomorrow. Ain't nobody sleep till 9am. From the looks of things, today is gonna be another repeat of what yesterday was...what was a repeat of what the day before was. Clouds. Now I want you tell me how a guy gonna get any work done in this kind of weather? Sheesh!!! I had plans. Not only that, it's 52 degs out there and a cold breeze com'n out the north.

I got me two projects to get busy with, one inside and the other outside. I gonna build me one them "snuggie" thingys out one my blankets. A snuggie you say...what the hell is a snuggie??? It a blanket with sleeves, but old Billy Bob gonna make a custom designed wrap around jobber-do with a hood an big pockets. I could just go to Walmart an buy me one, but there ain't nuttin like a home brewed snuggie. Only problem is, I gonna be cuss'n and throw'n stuff like I always do when I break out that sew machine.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time....I were sew'n golf cart covers so's we could play golf in the snow....or what ever. Needles was a break'n, of course I were cuss'n, the dogs headed for safer grounds...outside in the cold, and my blood pressure went so high, I had'a go see the doctor.
He says, "do you have any stress in your life"??? LOLOLOLOL....hahahaha.....stress???? Have ya ever see an old man try to sew with a sew machine? Ain't no pretty picture.

Took me a drink that water I been get'n in the little town of Niland not 5 mile from camp. Boy Howdy, no wonder my coffee sucks. That some nasty tast'n stuff. Gonna have to fill one my big water jugs with some water out them water machine thingys. Don't care what it cost....I want good coffee. Ya think the water what mak'n old Billy Bob sick??? Nasty!!!! Ya would think I would fix my high dollar water filter....what been broke for 4 year. Bestest investment ya can make if'n ya travel all over the country fill'n up with all different kind of water. Put'n new water filter on my list of stuff.

Ok, it breakfast time and I got me some think'n to do.

Boy howdy, I done bout all the think'n an old feller can stand in one day.

Now for all you doubters out there, take a look see what old Billy Bob been do'n this afternoon. This happens to be my brand spank'n new solar oven.

The replacement for this old brand spank'n new cancer caus'n toxic fumes contraption. Don't EVER use styrofoam as an insulation in a solar oven.....ya gonna die.

Maybe gonna start on my other project tonight if'n we don't have a campfire. But before I do anything, I gots to pick up some this mess lay'n on da floor and fix me up something to eat.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Terlingua or Deming

Ok, here's the deal. Terlingua or Deming??? I been roll'n this question around in my mind for bout 6 years now and still don't know what I want to do. I know what I would like to do, but then I get to think'n bout the pros and cons. What there are many go'n each way. Like....where the hell is Walmart??? In Deming, it's just down the road a piece...like 5 miles. And then....where the hell is the golf course. In Deming, it's just down the road a piece....like 5 miles. And then, and then, and then..... But....I'm about burned out in Deming.

So...."what ya gonna do Billy Bob"??? Go sit on "da porch" and think bout it some more....that what I gonna do.

Weren't nuttin but clouds when I roll out of bed this morn'n....gonna be nuther one them days. Same as yesterday with no sunshine till the afternoon. Batteries took a beat'n from no charge time. Now, here it is 9:30 am, still only 53 degs and maybe, just maybe, a little sunshine gonna come my way.

I know what I need....a project. I'm so freak'n bored all I wanna do is play that Play Station and take naps. I go to bed right at 9pm every night and sleep till 7am....that way too much sleep...and a waste of precious time. Only dogs and cats sleep that much.

Got to think'n bout rebuild'n that solar oven just to be do'n something. I'm think'n a $50 investment in materials would be money in the bank. A trip to El Centro for materials...bout 50 mile, would get me out da house for a while, fresh air and a nice "ride" for the dogs. Then a couple three days cut'n wood and stuff, I have me a brand spank'n new solar oven.....what would work just fine in Terlingua....or Deming. As a matter fact, it would probably work other places too.

Got my propane yesterday so now I can crank up the heat all I want for the next 36 days. I weren't as low as I was think'n....only used 22.7 gallon....what is only .63 gallon a day. So...for $1.80 a day, old Billy Bob has been one warm dude.

Oh, did I tell ya...old pesky neighbor Wayne call me this morn'n....3 inches snow in Deming. Thought bout runn'n over there and take some pics, but by the time I get there....2 days, it all gonna be melted. Damn, I miss all the fun.

Well, here come the sunshine what mean I can go sit on "da porch" sip'n a cup and do some think'n.

Didn't take very much think'n. Took off on a nice long drive to El Centro and fount me a Lowes lumber sell'n place. For $61 and some change I got everything I need for my brand spank'n new solar oven. Got my drawing all made up and ready to go. Gonna break out that table saw and engine hoist tomorrow and cut me some stuff. Before I headed off to town, I checked the temp on the "old" solar oven....325 degs. Holy cows, it never been that hot before.

Sun just went down and it already cold.....58 degs an fall'n fast. Now I'm hungry.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Ok, now what

I didn't have food poisoning....Sheesh!!! What I had was a bad case of "funnel cake" squirts....or something like that.

Tiger Woods 2006.

Boy howdy....spent must a been 6 hours yesterday look'n at all kind of off grid sites. Not that I think'n of ever build'n a "shack" and giv'n up this "take your house with ya" lifestyle. But let me tell ya, there are some people liv'n in shacks in places ya can't get to with a Jeep. With that said, I ain't say'n I'm gonna give up the idea to build my dream RV shelter with a great big ol' covered patio on a little piece of property....close to a highway with a freshly graded dirt road leading up to my driveway. But before I do anything, I gots to go to town and buy me up some propane.

Speak'n of propane, I did me some re-figger'n and come to the conclusion that my use of propane needs to be trimmed. My God, who ever hear of using almost 3/4 gallon a day for heat and cook'n when ya out boondock'n in one of the three warmest places in the USA. It ain't got nothing to do with what it cost....it's that ride to town to fill up and the principal of the thing.

Now....with all that said and done, it's a beautiful sunshiny morning out there...thermometer sit'n right bout 56 degs. Not a cloud in the sky and expect'n to see 70 degs right shortly. Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob?? "Oh, I don't know, sit on "da porch and sip a cup"???

Disconnected all my water lines, electric hook up and sewer hose and headed off to town for propane. By the time I got there, they had done hung out a sign..."out of propane". Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob??? Well, it's like this...they gonna deliver a gazillion gallons propane tomorrow morn'n, so's I gonna unhook everything and head'em up back to town. Simply as that!!!!

Bout mid this afternoon, here come them nasty clouds what blocked beautiful sunshine to my solar panels what charges my high dollar battery bank. Well, instead of think'n bout conserv'n some the free electricity, I cranked up that play station for about 4 hours. Beat the hell out Tiger Woods and all them other rookies. Swak that ball 350 yard....BA BAMMMMM.

Speak'n of golf, there's a golf course only 20 mile from here. Maybe next week old Billy Bob be swak'n "real" golf balls. Anybody wanna go???

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Food poisoning???

Have ya ever had a belly ache? Had dead rear??? Puked up some nasty tast'n stuff??? Well, that what old Billy Bob done....this time. Today I feel fit as a fiddle, got the bow all rosined up and ready for an excit'n day "do'n something". Note: Not all funnel cakes are the same. The grease were cheap stuff, the water was from Niland....that same nasty stuff I make my coffee out of and the cook were drink'n vodka from a jug. The batter was mixed with an old hammer drill with a piece of bail'n wire all twisted up. Now if'n that ain't a combination, what is?

Old Billy Bob woke up this morn'n think'n...."what ya gonna do today Mr Excitement"??? Two hours later and the only thing I came up with was.....how the hell ya gonna get that sticky burned marshmaller out that pan???

Look like we gonna have another one them no sunshine days again. Freak'n sky is covered everywhere with them cloud thingys. Posed to only make it to 58 degs today, but that ain't so bad consider'n.......

Went out and checked my propane tank last night....Oh Oh....that sucker sit'n right on "empty". Did ya know old Billy Bob has been camped at "da slabs" for over a month now? That mean I been use'n right at .657 gallon propane a day....what mean I been use'n $1.64 worth propane a day...what sound like to me....I need to conserve. That leaves me with only two choices, go get it filled or do with out heat. Damn, I hate to take "da house" to town. In the mean time, I think I'll just sit here sip'n a cup and think this situation out.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Cancer 'caus'n toxic fumes

Ok....here's the deal.....don't eat the jalepeno cornbread I made yesterday. I were barf'n an squirt'n come 2 am. So...the way I rekon it is that this thing has got to go. Can't burn it 'cause of the toxic fumes it gonna put off....and probably kill some body suck'n up them fumes.

Then my lady friend Hazel come over and asked if I got sick too....says everyone got sick. "If I got sick too"???? They didn't eat my jalepeno cornbread, but the whole campsite ate Tennessee Kens funnel cakes. Includ'n me.
Hmmmmm, now what ya gonne do Billy Bob???

Well shoot, fire up the solor oven and cook something. Something that will absorb styrofoam cancer caus'n toxic fumes. A big chunk of biscuit dough....what I did. When I opened the oven to take out a solar cooked biscuit, I could smell something unusual....cancer caus'n toxic fumes. That's it, I'm done, finished...solar cooked. Now let me see, for a hunerd dollar, I could build another solar oven....or I could put that hunerd dollar in my gas tank and go somewhere it's warm.
What would you do????

Santer Clouse foun't my door step with no problem last night. Brung me a coffee cup what he had a pic of hisself printed on the side. Three bags of that caramel popcorn with the little do-dads what stick in your throat and ya gasp for air try'n to dislodge that little do-dad. Old folk don't need to be gasp'n for air....we got enough problem now.

Christmas dinner were a smash hit. Had bout 25 folks eat'n up prime rib, oven baked ham, smashed taters, candied yams...a bunch other stuff I don't eat and a table full of arederves...little carrots, broccoli, maters, crackers & cheeses and all that stuff. Broke out 3 the biggest pies ya ever set yer eyes on.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Where Billy Bob

"Oh....where have you been Billy Bob, Billy Bob...where have you been charming Billy???"
Oh, I just been lay'n round, swak'n golf balls, read'n crap mind'n my own business and "do'n nuttin". Just the usual "slab city" retired, ain't got nuttin better to do stuff.

Hey....did ya know it's almost Christmas time?? Boy howdy, how time fly by. Here I were a month ago think'n I was gonna miss Thanksgiv'n dinner and here it is time to eat'em up some Christmas dinner.

Ok, for all you doubters out there, old Billy Bob cook up a pan of jalepeno cornbread this morn'n...in a 325 deg homemade solar oven....built by none other than Mr. Billy Bob his self. But.....I have a new problem. That foamboard I used in it's construction has got to go. Did you know....when ya heat styrofoam to close to 325 degs, it put off a gas....not a fart, if'n that what ya think'n, but some kind of cancer caus'n chemical gas....I guess it could cause cancer....everything else does. That jalepeno cornbread tastes great, but ya gotta hold your nose so's ya don't breath them fumes. If'n I'm sick tomorrow, then ya don't eat it either.

Tennessee Ken just fired up his generator what operates the deep fryer what gonna cook our funnel cakes. Holy crap that thing is loud....sound like one them homemade 5hp Briggs & Stratton, belt drive old Ford Motor Co. alternator jobber'dos. Boy howdy is old Billy Bob all work up an 'cited.

For those that are unaware, I have been elected again this year to be the official candied yam cooker feller. I rekon I'll put it all together tonight and throw it in the oven tomorrow afternoon.

Ok...that's it....ain't got no more to say.
Hope everyone has a great and joyous Christmas.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Blowed plumb off line

Boy howdy, why do this weather wanna treat me so? Here I waked up to a beautiful morn'n and by the time I had finished breakfast, here come da wind. Since I skeered of wind...'cause it breaks stuff, I went out and rolled up the awning fore it got flung over the top "da house" and end up in the neighbors front yard. Then, while I was sit'n here sip'n a cup, mind'n my own business, the wind done blowed my satellite dish round that pole point'n right at New York City. Then....when the wind calmed down to just a slight gale, I went to find what happen to MY satellite. I know it out there, I just can't see it. With the help of a couple homebrewed "satellite find'n" programs, I am finally back to clickity click click...naked chicks and stuff.

Done lost me a lawn chair somewhere. All the trash from across the road is in my flower garden and little rugs everywhere. Boy howdy...what a wind. Oh, by the way....that solar oven done blowed over too. Them new reflectors were cross the street in the bushes. No harm done though.....had they been covered with tin foil, they would'a been history.

So, for old Billy Bob, it's a sit inside, swak'n golf balls, sip'n a cup kind'a day.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Today is Monday Billy Bob....

Boy howdy, how do I get my days mixed up. I try my hardest to start each day on the right day, but somehows I lose a day in the process. Buy actually, it doesn't matter what day it is. I don't have a job, no special time to get up, no appointments, no bills to pay, no place to go.....my God, what to do with all this free time on my hands. Then I got to think'n....if'n I had taken that long drive to the lumber yard yesterday, it would have been closed and half my day would have been completely wasted. All 'cause I didn't know what day it was. Sheesh, life is hard on us old folks.

Well shoot....I want you look see outside. Clouds as far as the eye can see. Now this ain't right. I come all this distance to see sunshine every day, be nice and warm and sit on da porch sip'n a cup. Must be ol' winter time set'n in. Speak'n of winter....looks like we gonna get some at the slabs. Ain't gonna be no snow, if that what ya think'n, but it gonna get a mite chilly in the next few days. Something like lower 40's...at night and mid 60's day time. Brrrrrrr..... Gonna have to break out some winter clothes and bundle up.

I were look'n at that solar oven yesterday and got me one them wild hairs. "Billy Bob, since ya ain't got nuttin to do and ya lose track of what day it is, let's break out the table saw and engine hoist and rebuild that solar oven again". Yeah, I can do that. Built me a drawing and made me a list. Hmmmmm.....should I or shouldn't I???

Had us another outstand'n campfire last night...everyone sit'n round sip'n drinks, tell'n lies and boast'n bout life in general. Mostly lies. And here sit's old Billy Bob in the corner with nuttin to say. Kinda remind me the fish'n stories we used to tell....da big'un got away.

Boy howdy, I done run out of water. Ain't no biggie if'n ya knows where the water faucets are in town. Went an got me 14 gallon, come back to "da house" an put it in the tank. Then off to Brawley to pick up my drugs from Walmart, a few dollars pocket change and find a lumber yard to buy my parts for a brand spank'n new solar oven. Holy cows, did you see the price on that sheet of FRP?? $39.95....forget that crap. Then I got to think'n....when the sun is shin'n this old solar oven work just fine...now that the "heat leaks" are fixed. Haven't had a day of sunshine since I fixed the leaks, so don't know how hot it gonna get now. Today was a NO sunshine day all day long. Then....I picked up 14 more gallon water on the way home. Then I had'a charge my batteries...forgot to turn stuff off....12 amp hours every hour I were gone. Think Billy Bob.

I don't know how many time I say this, but I ain't put'n no stink'n tin foil on my solar oven....sheesh!!! It called "emergency solar blanket" from Walmart. Sheesh!!!! How many time I have to say"SHEESH"????

Sunday, December 20, 2009

What day is it

Oh crap.....did ya forget to post this morn'n Billy Bob??? Hell no I didn't forget. Here's what happen.....when I took a look at my blog, it said Saturday... an I don't remember post'n nuttin this morn'n, but there it was...a Saturday post. BILLY BOB....LOOK AT THE FREAK'N CALENDER...TODAY IS SUNDAY....SHEESH!!!!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Lazy Saturday

Well, yesterday turned out to be so close to perfect, I was think'n I done waked up on some tropical island in the south Pacific. Even when the clouds rolled in I were still wipe'n little sweat beads from my brow. Just little bitty ones, but it were still hot. Today is expected to be a repeat of yesterday....without the clouds...hopefully.

Did some spearmint'n with the solar oven yesterday. Like about 4 hours worth. Made me some reflector add ons covered with that solar blanket material...boy howdy, you talk bout some bright shiny stuff. Duct taped them on to the other reflectors and walla....it get hot pretty darn quick. When it hit 300 degs, I throw me a pot on dinner in there....some kind of pork rib thingys and some taters, green beans and broccoli. That when I found a big heat leak what gotta be fix. Oh Oh.....here come a batch of clouds and the temp go way down below cook'n temp....225 degs. Pull that pot out and throwed on da stove....tasted terrible. So guess what old Billy Bob gonna be do'n today? That's right....fix this solar oven and bake me up a basketball loaf of bread...maybe.

Only bout 6 days till Christmas dinner at "da slabs". We gonna have a big ol' deep fried turkey, a somekind of ham with all that other stuff people eat for Christmas. Yum boy howdy...can hardly wait. I wonder if old Santa Clause know where I'm camped at this year. All he brought me last year was a can of stale nuts and a freak'n plant....what died in the first two weeks. It were ugly anyhows.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Ye old tater gun

Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob??? Here it is a beautiful day outside, warm, sun shin'n, ain't no clouds, not a care in the world and I ain't got nuttin to do.

Just checked my Coffee Mate and I think I can go one more day before I make a trip to Walmart. I could'a swore I had another container that stuff, but I can't find it no where. Got a nice list made up for my Walmart run, but I ain't in no mood to be driv'n all that distance right yet. I figger that Walmart gonna still be there tomorrow.

Old Uncle Ben posted a video yesterday bout spud guns. Boy howdy...ya talk bout fun, them spud guns be a blast. First one I built was just a "toy" compared to the other one I built. A high pressure pneumatic jobber'do what shot "bak'n taters" over 250 yards. That were one mean spud gun.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time....I were liv'n on "da boat" in the marina shoot'n my "toy" spud gun what used hair spray for propellant. After bout a 5# bag of taters, here come the cops....4 cars of them. Threatened to put me in jail. Took my spud gun never to see it again. Well that piss old Billy Bob...Barnacle Bill at the time....off. So's I put dry ice in some them 1 liter plastic bottles, with just a little water, put the cap on and throw it in the water. Boy howdy, you talk bout an explosion...whoa!!! Sound like dyno-mite.
Here come the cops....one more time....say'n "Billy Bob, ya press'n yer luck". Sheesh!!! What a bunch of party poopers. Since when is there a law against hav'n fun???

Now....back to reality.....gonna go sit on "da porch" and sip a cup. Do some think'n.

Well, got all my think'n took care of and decided to take that looooong trip to Walmart. Done spent more than I was expect'n to, but what the hell. Got enough stuff to last for the next two months.....maybe.

While attempting to polish the back side of my solar oven reflectors, I done figgered that was too much like work, and old Billy Bob ain't gonna get caught up in a day job. So's I got to think'n, cover them with tin foil....what gonna get all tore to hell. So's I got to think'n, if'n tin foil gonna get all tore up, why not use something more shiny....solar blanket material....$2.88 for enough to cover 10 sets of reflectors. Yep, that what I gonna do. Glue that stuff to some sheets of foamboard and be very careful not to scratch it. Yep...that what I gonna do.

On the way back from Walmart, we see this big ol' fake cow out front the cow feed farm....with a big ol' red nose. Will get a pic of it the next trip when back I go to pick up some drugs.

Oh boy howdy, we gonna have the rest that spaghetti out around a roar'n campfire again tonight. Maybe tonight I'll eat as much as I can and waller myself home like an old sow hog. Sounds good to me. Campfire starts in 30 minutes, so I'm out of here.

"That's all I have to say bout that"....GUMP

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Bored slap out

Since I had nothing to write about yesterday, thought I would poke a few keys here this morning. kasunehhnxzhulajdhygvskdijsdjj.....how bout that???

Yesterday was another one them boring days where all I did was lay around. Finished reading a book, what I don't EVER do. First one in over 30 years. Broke out the Play Station and run my freak'n batteries down. But I did whoop Tiger by 6 strokes before I had to crank the generator to put some juice back in the batteries. Not a whole lot of sunshine on the solar panels yesterday and it looks bout the same today.

Some time in the next couple days I gonna make a trip to Walmart....20 miles. Done ate up all my chicken and pork chops. So....today will be spent mak'n up a list of stuff.

Boy howdy did we have a camp fire last night. Six of us was sit'n out there eat'n up some the best spaghetti I ever ate around a roar'n fire. Bout 8:30 I called it a day and retired to "da house"....with nuttin to do. Read some news, blogs and "groups" on the internet and went to bed.

Speak'n of the internet....has anyone noticed that there are less people than there was a year ago? Is it that they are getting bored or just down right "don't give a flip" no more? I know why my blog roll is down...'cause I ain't work'n on stuff and break'n it. Ya need a project Billy Bob.

Coming home the other day, I heared a new sound com'n out from under "that jeep". Clickity, clickity, clank clank...or something like that. Hmmmm....universal joints??? Climbed up under there and nope, not universal joints. What the hell now??? Hate this "that jeep". Anyone wanna buy a perfectly good '97 Jeep???

Monday, December 14, 2009

died last night

Boy howdy crapolas...what a night I had last night. I were hav'n a dream/nightmare bout die'n an I waked up 4 or 30 times with little goose bumps and sweat beads. Then I got to think'n, so what the big deal? I remember a few years back I were skeered to death....lol... that I was gonna die before I was ready. Ready ya say??? How the hell can someone be ready? Die'n ain't something ya just get ready for.

It weren't but 20 months ago and old Billy Bob done thought he done bit the dust. Three heart attacks in a two week period....what skeered hell out me. But something happen when I ended up in the hospital for open heart bypass surgery. I weren't skeered no more. I weren't the only one there and through open doors I could hear people cry'n an pray'n while clutch'n their bibles. But old Billy Bob just took it all with a grain of salt, not even think'n I could die.....poooof...just like that.

Three days after surgery I were lay'n on my "nap" couch in "da house" grinn'n from ear to ear, rais'n hell with pesky neighbor Wayne bout swak'n golf balls and want'n a smoke. Never a thought of what could have happen. I were alive and kick'n. But then....my life took on a different meaning. Things slowed down to a crawl....I weren't able to do "stuff" no more. This is it....ain't gonna get no better...take it or leave it. The last year has been good for me, swak'n golf balls, mak'n stuff and a few short trips in "Sally da house". I rekon I got lots to be thankful for, mainly to still be amungst the living and do'n the bestest I can.

Now....what did I give up. I gots a brand spank'n new bicycle I can't ride 'cause it got a flat tire. All my gold prospecting stuff is in storage. Don't chase the young wimmins no more. No more start'n a day early...unless it's tee time. No more put'n in a 6 hour day. No more walk'n the trash to the dumpster....ride in "that jeep". No more sleep'n all night long. No more eat'n big fat laden T-bone steak. Boy howdy, this sucks!!! But I have accepted and grown acustomed to "do'n nuttin".

Turned a little chilly last night but what a beautiful morning. All this sunshine make ya wanna go outside and sit on da porch sip'n a cup. What I did for a few hour. Now I gonna go back out there and eat me up a big bowl of homemade chicken/tater noodle soup.

Good to see OGT back.....where the hell ya been? Now where MsB and River?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Crawfish Sunday

Ho hum, what a boring life being retired, travel all over the country, no bills, two "hunt'n dogs", not a care in the world and still have nothing to do. Oh well, someone gotta do it.

Got up again this morning, not know'n for sure what day it is....think'n it were Monday. But then I got to think'n, I didn't eat crawfish jambalaya yesterday, so's this has to be Sunday. Chili Bob is brew'n up a batch of "cajun" stuff right now what we gonna be eat'em up after a bit. Then I got to think'n again, now where in the hell ya gonna find live crawfish in southern Ca.??? This ain't Louisiana ya know. I hear them dead'uns kill ya or make ya wish ya was dead. Hope old Chili Bob know what he do'n.

Didn't have a thing to do so's I put the awning out and sit on da porch sip'n a cup. Weren't an hour and here come the wind. What the hell??? Put that sucker right back up. Put 14 gallon fresh alkaline water in my fresh water tank. That give me bout 30 gallon what should last a couple weeks....if'n I only take "one" shower and do dishes weekly. Yep...that gonna work.

Thats all I did and have nuttin else to do the rest of the day. See what I tole ya....being retired sucks. I need a job at the bank...count'n money or something. Or maybe one them high flutin jobs...."hello, welcome to Walmart...have a nice day".

Beautiful day here at "da slabs". Bout 70 some odd degs, a few clouds and very little wind...now that the awning is back up. Go figger. Now I got myself three choices....read a book, play PlayStation or take a nap. Can anyone guess what I gonna do???

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Cloudy Saturday

Too early to be play'n golf, so I gonna just sit here and write something.
Cloudy outside this morning. Bout 45 degs at 7am and the weather thingy says 65 for a high. Were hoping for a warmer day, but I rekon some body has to get this cold weather. But...why me? Had I knowed today was Saturday, old Billy Bob would'a stayed in bed under them warm covers for another hour.

Boy howdy did we have a camp fire last night. This guy Aaron just keep toss'n them sticks in there and fire were shoot'n 10 feet in the air. That feller Ken from Tennessee come drag'n in yesterday afternoon...park right in my front yard. Then here come the little lady Hazel from Canada...and park right in my front yard (Hazel may gonna be pull out today to places unknown). Somewhere warm I'm sure. Good to see her again.

I learnt something yesterday...not that I don't learn something every day. I were watch'n the news and these two fellers were discussin some off the wall stuff....when all a sudden this one feller turn on the other...all red face, puffed up, call'n names and fight'n mad....like a dog. All over one not agree'n with the other. Sheesh!!! Now is that any way for two grown adults to act? But then I got a think'n.....that happens every day, not only on the news where millions are watch'n. Remind me the time bout the loss of a good buddy over how to boil water.

Old uncle Ben mentioned his JD lawn mower the other day and I got to think'n....let's hop that sucker up...."tool man" style. Yank that Briggs & Stratton motor out that thing and put in a fuel injected dual overhead cam 4 cylinder 125 hp Chevy power plant engine in there. Boy howdy, now we cutt'n grass . What ya think???

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Sit'n back wait'n

With the dawning of a new day.....what ever that means, there comes a time when ya got to just sit back and see what gonna happen. It ain't likely that something exciting will show up at my doorstep, but I gots both eyes peeled back look'n at the horizon.

Were right snappy this morning...something like bout 36 degs and 50 degs inside. Crank up this laptop and it went to mak'n all kind weird sounds. Little fan scream'n, hard drive click'n and hammer'n, screen flash'n on an off.....boy howdy. This baby need to go visit the "geek" squad.

Now, what I were talk'n bout......the beach is boring when ya live on it. Fish'n sucks when ya eat fish every day. Shrimp tastes like shoe leather when ya ain't got no chicken. Watermelon ain't nuttin but an apple in disguise. I hate apples.

Speak'n of watermellons, did I ever tell ya bout the time....we was at a farm auction back in 47' and there was this big ol' field of nuttin but watermelons. Gazillions of them. All shiny green stare'n up at the sun. Bout 10 of us little "heatherns" took to that field with watermelon eat'n on our mind. Well, I were just sit'n there mind'n my own business, eat'n a busted watermelon, when here come the local law enforcement. Little feller...remind me Barney Fife an sheriff Taylor. Well, we was bust'n and eat'n watermelon on that "other fellers" land what was sell'n them watermelon to the local grocery stores and we had done cut a big chunk out his profits......bout a hunerd them watermelon lay busted on the ground. Got a good whoop'n out that one. Just thought you should know.

Sure do need to make a trip to town today. Ain't got much water left after do'n dishes yesterday. Musta use 5 gallon. Had I allowed Lug Nut to wash the dishes, I would'a only use 2 gallon. He's a good dog. Very conservative and does a good job wash'n dishes. He finish and they go back in the cupboard all shiny clean.

Gonna fix me up some eat'n so's I'll be back....later.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Hurricane at da slabs

Holy crap, camp Billy Bob done got hit by a hurricane last night. I ain't kid'n, ya know. I bet'ya the wind was a blow'n 200 mph when all hell broke loose. My little blue tarp is gone....poooof....just like that. Everything what was stand'n up was lay'n down....solar oven (glass is safe), bbq grill sprawled out on the ground, Fred the duck lay'n over there in the bushes, chairs blowed over and last but not least, my Hughes satellite dish were dead slap lay'n on the ground....bent.

First thing I done was go pick'n up stuff...damn it's cold out there. Then I got to look'n at that satellite dish.....oh sh*t!!! It ain't never gonna work look'n all bent like that. But ya got to remember, old Billy Bob can fix stuff. Set 'er all back up with extra rock in da bucket and pointed it at a satellite. Hmmmmm, best signal I could get was 40...what ain't gonna do. Started bend'n stuff just for the hell of it and walla....things look'n up. I figgered I can't hurt it any more than it already is, so's I give it a "hard" adjustment what bend that sucker right back to a good signal. Yee Ha!!! Back online. Gonna be look'n for one them fiberglass dishes right quick like. Might even stake that tripod down like I sposed to.....rocks ain't heavy enough for 200 mile winds.

Now, bout that damn awning. Before the wind got too bad, I decided to roll that sucker up out the wind...just in case.....good move Billy Bob. Well......the sucker says, "I ain't gonna roll up". Remember the other day I was tell'n ya bout how proud I were that I done fixed that awning what wouldn't roll all the way out??? Yeah, I fixed it alright. Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob? "Punt, what else". I rekon I'll just undo the fix I did and hope for the best. Maybe one turn on only one spring at a time.....what ya think???

Now that the hurricane is over, it's absolutely beautiful out there. Not a puff of wind, sun shin'n and the temp is up to 56 after a low 42 this morning. Reminds me the time I were on my boat when a storm blowed in. Now I ain't talk'n bout no little storm...we talk'n storm. Everything not tied down was in the drink. My sliding hatch (door to landlubbers) blowed off like a frisbe....pooof...it were gone. Oh course it were rain'n buckets and I were soaked sit'n there pray'n for the rain gods to leave me lone. Sat out two hurricanes on that old 41 foot sailboat. Skeered to death.

Will be back later....got work to do.

Boy howdy, got all that stuff clean up in the yard and roll that awning out....just to take a look see. Well, it's like this, the damn thing roll all the way out and the damn thing roll all the way back in. Feel like one them springs is hang'n up in that there roller tube. So's, I smak it with a big ol' hammer....pow.....just like that. What can it hurt??? That all I did 'cept for tighten a couple bolts I left loose by accident. Gonna roll it up and down a few time just to make sure I fix it good this time.

Come Friday the weather thingy says we got another front headed this way. What the hell??? Ya don't rekon old Billy Bob's black cloud is back? I guess it's better than being out in the middle of no where freez'n my butt off...at least it don't freeze at da slabs.

Monday, December 7, 2009


Boy howdy, I want you look here. Water fall'n out the sky. Not much, but I would rekon we might get bout a gazillinth of an inch before this downpour is over. 50 degs. at Billy Bob's house.

Did my morning blog read'n, checked in at TFL chat room...naturally no one was talk'n..., put the dogs out to pee and now I have nuttin to do the rest of the day. Although, I do have a pile of dirty dishes and a full trash can what needs to go to town to the dumpster. Probably aughter pick up some fresh water since I only have bout 20 gallons left.

I usually don't talk bout wars and stuff, but since today is Dec. 7th, the day that the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, I tip my hat to all those that lost their lives that day and the millions that lost their lives fighting for our freedom following that day. There are reasons for war, but I still don't understand the concept of kill'n your neighbor over petty arguments. I remember many instances in the bars, the big burley fellers were always start'n some kind of ruckus and the little guy...me...always ended up with the black eyes, bumps and bruises. I was born only a couple months before WWII and some have blamed the whole thing on me. Weren't MY fault.

Old Uncle Ben was on a roll yesterday when he mentioned Hillary and I agree with his thoughts. She's a pretty big girl when she's spout'n off her mouth, but that woman is nuts. Along with her sister Nancy. Oh....did ya see the news where Hillary is flirt'n with that "young" dude??? Disgusting!!! Has she no shame like her dear beloved did? Is this "revenge" time???

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Boring Sunday

Boy howdy, I can see it now. Another boring day at the slabs. Beautiful sunshine, gorgeous morning, no wind, not a cloud in the sky, birds sing'n and I have nothing to do. It's hell get'n old.

Had a friend tell me one time....if'n ya wanna really piss someone off, just ignore them . Well....that's only one way. Old Billy Bob know some other ways...from years of experience ya know. Like the time we was sit'n at the bar and my buddy went to "relieve" himself. I took his beer and filled it with water. Boy howdy was he pissed. Then there was the time...... Yep, that was a good'ern too. The sad part of being piss off is ya miss all the fun, sit in yer chair grumpy all day, watch TV, try your damnest to find fault and just plain turn ugly mean.....for the rest of your life. Ya know anybody like that??? So sad!!!

Ok.....time to go outside, sit on "da porch" and drink me up some coffee.

Why is it so freak'n hard to make oatmeal all full of lumps and resemble a glob of some crap ya wouldn't eat if'n ya was starv'n. That's what I get if'n I go out for oatmeal. I got to be do'n something wrong 'cause mine comes out all smooth and juicy. Oh well, I'm just learn'n bout this cook'n stuff and I hear practice makes perfect.

Well shoot....good thing I didn't decide to take off all my clothes and go swim'n. Sky done all clouded up, temp dropped a few degs and the wind started blow'n. So, it were back inside, brew up another pot of coffee and put the batteries back on the charger.

Guess I'll fire up the Play Station and swak me some golf balls. Speak'n of swak'n golf balls....I tee'd one up last night and wallap that thing a mile. Damn that felt good.

Hell no I ain't been fish'n. Can't even find a place to get to the canal. Ya rekon that why???

Oh, before I forget....and old feller went to the hot spring last week and drowned. He had just bought 40 acres of property, decided to take a dip and that was it...poooof...gone, just like that.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

What? No stock reports???

Up bright and early this morning....Boy howdy did old Billy Bob have to pee. Since I were already up figgered I may as well stay up and drink me up some coffee. Fired up the Onan generator and I hears someone yell..."HEY!!!". Now, what's his problem? I'm mak'n coffee here.

Were a bit on the chilly side...bout 36 degs, but in 15 minutes Mr. Heater had it nice and comfy for that first cup'o. Lug Nut was "gone" for only a short time before he was knock'n on the door want'n back in. Sissy dog!!!

Made me up a couple big ol' pancakes with bout a pound of butter, a heap'n pile blackberry preserves and some them molasses stuff. Then I don't know what happen. All sudden old Billy Bob was get'n heavy eyes and kind of groggy. I either not get'n nuff sleep or I die'n. Hit that couch and I were out like a light. Hehehe....early naps are as good as late naps.

Last night I brewed me up some jalepeno chili spaghetti with that chili I made the other day. Well shoot, I want you look at all that spaghetti I done went and made up. Half a box. Way too much for just a couple bowls....and the birds don't eat spaghetti.

Speak'n of chili.....I had a neighbor buddy in Galveston, Texas what was my bestest friend. BBQ together. Cook stuff together. Drink beer together. Go fish'n together. You know all the things buddies do. Well, we were cook'n a pot of "mean" Texas chili one day...all kind'a good stuff in it. Then it started..."ya can't put "that" in chili". "Ya don't put "smushed" garic in chili". "Did ya just put beer in that chili"? And on and on and on. We was back an forth till we was all red face and ready to fight. Last beer, we parted way and ain't seen each other since. Just a thought.

Ain't been a bit of sunshine all day long......that is till I went outside and hook up my battery charger. Crank up the generator, charger crank'n out 40 amps and walla....here come the sun. I rekon an hour on the battery charger will be enough for the batteries to make it through a session of internet tonight. They was down to 60% this morning, what is lower than I like.

Still at odds what to do with this solar oven. Tinkered with the reflectors (adjustments) but to no avail...still only 275 degs. And I ain't put'n no stink'n tin foil on them. Gonna check out the hardware stores and see if I can find me some smooth alum sheets, polish them up like mirrors and be done with it. Should'a bought them in Deming when I had the chance.

That's all I have to say bout that....Billy Bob and Co.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Snow in Texas???

Boy howdy, did ya see the snow in Texas this morn'n??? What the hell??? I know what it is, global warm'n. What a bunch of bunk.Ya did google Climategate....right??? Grrrrrr....as old Uncle Ben would say.

It's so beautiful outside I just don't know what I'm gonna do with myself. I mean, just like lay'n on "da beach" on some tropical island. Nice little 5 mph breeze to keep ya cool. Not a cloud in the sky. Didn't I just say all that yesterday? Ya don't rekon it's gonna be like this forever do ya???

Speak'n of yesterday....I went off up the road a piece (17 mile) to a place call Bombay Beach think'n I were gonna see some of the old beach resorts what was built in the 60's when the Salton Sea were the place to go... (did ya know...the Salton Sea is 226 feets below sea level??). Well, "park road closed". What the hell??? Drove round the little burg for a few minutes and head'em back to Niland. Wasted trip. While just mind'n my own business, I went through one them check point places on the way. "Pull over there...get out the car". At least they didn't find the drugs....LOLOLOLOL....jus kid'n.

Now today, if'n I can find the place, I gonna go look see the mud volcanoes and the mud pots. Heared bout them last year, but I were too busy work'n on that cheap brand spank'n new China built generator to go see.

Ok...research to do...find them mud pots!!!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Go'n fish'n...maybe

Another beautiful morning in the middle of nowhere. Can you believe that??? Not a cloud in the sky, temp right on 51.9 degs @ 8am. Although it were a little chilly last night, old Billy Bob were snug as a bug all wrap up in them covers.

Don't know what Lug Nut was a chas'n, but that dog was burn'n rubber and kick'n up dust. You would have to see it to believe....hunerd miles an hour in 6 seconds flat.

Had another blog follower come by for a visit while ago. From Arkansause or Alleybaba....done forget...just like that. Don't ask me his name 'cause I done forget that too. Damn, it's hell get'n old. Anyhows, he a real nice guy, bout close to my age, camped out just up the road a piece....in Texas that could be 50 miles. Next time I see him, I'll write down his name and where he from. In the mean time, maybe he'll leave that important information in the comments section.

Ain't got a thing planned to do today. Thought about a little nap here in a few, but shoot, I'm bout napped out. Got up last night at 2am....just 'cause I didn't have nuttin better to do. Sit around smok'n and think'n bout go'n over there to the canal and throw'n a line in there...maybe catch me a fish. My luck, here would come the Fish and Game feller out the bushes say'n "what ya think ya do'n"??? Then of course the sheriff would show up, put me in handcuffs and haul me away....just for mind'n my own business. Law don't like old Billy Bob.

Got me a pile 'o dishes what is stacked up in the sink just wait'n. Well, far as I concerned, they can just sit there and wait till tomorrow. Neighbor feller brung me over a book to read this morning. If'n I read that sucker it gonna be the first book I read in years. I either gonna go to sleep or get bored.

Oh, fore I forget, the dinner last night was a hit. Had that beef stuff with mushrooms and artychokes and butter licked parmejohn (that's cheese)biscuits on top cooked up in a dutch oven. Boy howdy were it good. A little salad on the side made for some good eat'n.

Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob???

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Gotta go somewheres

Imperial Sand Dunes
10 miles west of Yuma, Az.

Boy howdy what a great morning. I mean....great. Turn Lug Nut loose and he were gone...pooof...just like that. That dog can run.

Feel so good this morning I think maybe I'll take the dogs on a tour of the surrounding area. Need to go find me a little Christmas tree to put on the dash since I don't have a cat no more. Mikey used to knock all the ornaments off and play with them. Knock the tree down many times. Crazy cats!!!

Had a feller tell me this morning that my "jalepeno" chili ain't chili. What the hell is he think'n??? Using basically the same recipe, old Billy Bob jalepeno chili won second place in two chili cook offs in south Texas. Tell me it ain't chili....sheesh!!! In fact, think I'll have me some for breakfast with a couple over easy. Maybe make me some chili cornbread later in the day.....that is if'n the solar oven will get hot enough.

Well I done something, but ya ain't gonna like it. Ate me up some that delicious jelepeno chili with eggs and done got me a dose heartburn ya won't believe. Figgered I'ld walk it off, so's me and the kids went for a long walk...till I had'a head back to "da house" for alka seltzer. Then I sit on "da porch" jaw'n with a neighbor till I couldn't take no more that. Lay on the couch and got to think'n....wonder if the play station will still work. It do.

So...the rest of the afternoon I were swak'n golf balls with Tiger Woods. Might do some race car driv'n this evening. Hot damn, sure is good to be retired and have toys.

Gonna have dinner with Goofy Mary 'n Richard, Chili Bob and Seann. Some kind of beef stuff with artychokes. What the hell is a artychoke??? Anyhows, it'll probably be better than left over chili what make ya "sweat" like a basketball player. I'm being nice ya know!!!

Boy howdy has it ever been a great day. All but that solar oven.... 275 degs....what the hell???
So, there is no chili cornbread to rant and rave about. Sure do sound good though.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Hard work'n fool

Holy cows, now what Jimmy??? Where the hell is my post from this morning???? Sheesh!!!
Now I done forget what I were do'n. Gotta start all over.

Got up right bout still dark time, what I don't like to do 'cause I can't see a freak'n thing. Lug Nut took off like a bullet headed off over there where he see a rabbit yesterday. That dog can run!!!! Crazy dog. Poor little Sadie Mae ain't no way she can keep up.

Coffee tasted great this morning so I rekon I'm almost well. Went an look at the weather in Terlingua and Deming....no snow and 3 to 6 inches snow...in that order. Then I look at MY temp.....hehehehe....52 degs at 6:45am. By 7:30, it were 60 degs and get'n warmer.

Started polishing the solar oven reflectors for bout an hour while I were sit'n on "da porch". Put 'em back on and walla.....300 degs by 11am. So's I brewed up a big pot of "Billy Bob" jalepeno chile. Put it in the solar oven to simmer all afternoon. If it as good the last batch, it ain't gonna last very long. Old Billy Bob know how to "fix" stuff ya know.

Then I screwed some anchors into this hard gravel ground to tie the awning down just in case we get some 100 mph wind. I suppose it'll hold at 100 mph. Broke out my brand spank'n new adjustable leaf rake and raked the yard.....well just a little of it. Don't want to rush into too many projects at the same time. What I don't rake today, may still be there tomorrow.

Now that the chili is simmer'n, got the yard cleaned up, awning secure...how bout a little nap? Sounds good to me.......laters.

Now let me tell ya bout some Billy Bob Jalepeno chili. Boy howdy!!!
Need I say more???

Dark city right bout 4:45.....where the hell da sunshine? Can ya see the full moon right over my "Sally da house"?