Friday, September 30, 2011

Port Aransas blackout

Have ya ever wake up an' it still dark outside......and ya don't know what day it is? Ya can't tell by look'n out a winder 'cause ya can't see nuttin. That what happen to me this morn'n. Scare hell out me.

Went off on a fish'n trip last night just for the hell of it and 'cause I was bored. Me an' Sadie Mae was sit'n out on the picnic table and she blurts out...."let's go for a ride". Or at least that's what I think she said. We jumps in "that jeep" and off we go to the beach....well not really the beach. We went to the jetties where they catch'n all them big ol' red fishes. Well, I knows for a fact that there are also big ol' trout in there, so's I break out my special Billy Bob altered dumpster dive trout fish pole. Ain't narry a one trout in there.....not one. See bout 4 leatherbacks (sea turtle) swim by on their way to Old San Juan Mexican restaurant...or somewheres like that. 

Then it got dark, really really dark. Load up and head to the Station Street fish'n pier. Ain't nuttin' in there neither 'cept'n for a buch of mullet and skip jacks. Have ya ever hear of a Tarpon? Well, a skip jack is a mini tarpon in disguise. Fight'n sum a gun.....go a hunnert mile a hour. That was fun for a while and then I got to think'n....cherry hot fudge. Oh Yeah!!! Next stop Dairy Queen. Then off to the Robert's Point fish'n pier. Sadie Mae done eat up half my sundae while I was check'n out the pier. Ain't no fish here neither. Back to "da house".

Weren't back to "da house" more 'an 30 minutes and pooooof.....City blackout. I mean there weren't no lights no wheres....for hours. Lady next door was outside with her little flashlight think'n she gonna fix a blackout. I tells her the entire City of Port Aransas is off an' she says......"Oh? Well how comes you got lights"? Then I have to splain to her how comes I got lights and the City don't. Don't think she believe my story 'cause when I go inside, she still fiddl'n with her breakers on the power pole.

Well, let me see what kind of nonsense I can get into today......sure would like to buy me something.

I were sit'n here think'n.....how far is it to Best Buy in Corpus Christi. So I jumps in "that jeep" an' check it out.
It were only 541.22 miles.....Oh wait....$542.22. Happy Birthday Billy Bob.
We gonna be "rock'n round da clock" now an' print'n up all kind of weird stuff with no wires.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Smell'n like a goat

When I read Dizzy's post this morn'n, I got to think'n....how many post have old Billy Bob made? Well hell, I don't know, I ain't good at add'n stuff like that. And while I was at it, I went back to the beginn'n of my blog an' start read'n. And read'n an' read'n. Now that was the old Billy Bob I remember. He's crazy!!!

Got my dish's all done up yesterday. Well all 'cept that big ol' cake dish thingy what had the cherry chocolate cake in it. Oh....speak'n of dish thingy, I were sit'n outside last night an' I looks at the "bubba boat" lay'n there on the ground. Whet the hell, it all full of wrinkles.....just like old Billy Bob. Then I says.....how comes "bubba" is full of wrinkles? Well hell, it don't got no air in it. "Yes it does ya silly" Don't ya know nuttin' bout hot an' cold expand'n an' contract'n. Well yeah....but....... This morn'n with the sunshine, all them wrinkles is all gone.....poooof, just like that.

My God I got lots of stuff that I need to be do'n. And it ain't fun stuff. I got to clean house.....take out the stink'n trash, vacuum the floor.....the dreaded laundry basket. Damn, what one am I gonna tackle today? Well that's a simple decision, take out the stink'n trash.

Speak'n of stink'n, have ya ever go in a high dollar eat'em up and smell something what smell like a goat farm??? Ya sit down to eat and the waitress stands back 10 feets....people change tables....ya feel like everybody is look'n at ya??? Damn Billy Bob....you stink. Well, it weren't really my fault ya see. I were lay'n on the couch in a dream world and wakes up all cover with sweat when the main breaker trip (no a/c). I jumps up hungry an'er something what ain't ate in a week. Head off to the high dollar eat'em up place.

Boy howdy let me tell ya, them red fish is mak'n their run. Big 'uns. That's all I have to say bout that.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Feeble attempts...

For the last couple months I been hav'n a hard time add'n a llittle humor to my blog posts. It comes in spurts ya know, like a plugged up water faucet turn on full force and just drip drip drip. Well that bothers the old Billy Bob. I don't get them excruciating pains from laughter like I used to....bust yer gut slam'n headache kinda pains.

Now I been think'n, what has changed in my life that I would start get'n serious bout anything. I don't do that kind of stuff unless nuttin else works. I found out many years ago that talk'n serious stuff makes ya look like an idiot every time ya open your mouth.  I would rather look like an idiot mak'n people laugh rather than look'n like a idiot try'n to splain something I don't know nuttin about.  (insert humor here)

Me an' old "pesky neighbor" Wayne had us a talk'n yesterday. He were all ready to go home, but done change his mind. Gonna wait till Oct. 30. Says his legs are still too weak. Tole me he walk 490 feets with that old walker thingy, but I know all bout Wayne and his numbers. Told me one time he had 147 quails eat'n supper at his house. Then a week later the number increase to 175....and then to 123. You should see the way he keeps score on a golf game.

Speak'n of swak'n gold balls.......

This is a before and after.
As with everything old Billy Bob buys or acquires by horsetrad'n, deals or just flat out steals it, he ain't satisfied. Gotta change it. This is one the good things bout being retired. Ya got plenty time to modify stuff. That a hunnert dollar paint job ya look'n at there. I also painted Wayne's old ugly white one too.
Ok....why the hell are you post'n pics of golf carts??? Well it ain't really golf carts we talk'n bout here. We talk'n bout retired and nuttin to do. I live from one project to the next. If'n I ain't got a project of some sort, I'm just gonna lay down on the couch and do nuttin the rest of the day. No, house clean'n ain't no project. Those of ya what been follow'n me for the last few years know that old Billy Bob is always do'n something.....a project. Well, I'm all out, ain't got nuttin to do. With winter com'n on, I got to find me a project to keep my mind off'n freez'n to death. Damn I hate goose bumps.

Just read Gypsys comment and decided I need to repost that "jet powered bbq" build'n experience for the new followers.

Jet Powered BBQ Pit
by barnacle bill
 In south Texas everyone has a homemade BBQ pit of some sort, but old Barnacle Bill, he didn't have none. 
I seen some really snazzy look'n ones and now I got to decide what kind I was gonna build.
Barnacle Bill is a builder, ya know!!!....
Make stuff.... 
After lots of thought as to design, I decided on building one those round ones....
You know, them really cool look'n ones. 
    I searched around and found this old 10 gallon propane tank like what ya use on a travel trailer. 
The size looked right and not much rust. I made a quick drawing of what I thought I wanted it to look like. 
A few measurements was made and a lid was sketched out on the side of the tank.
    Now Barnacle Bill ain't no dummy ya know!
This thing at one time contained propane, a "highly flammable liquid" what explodes on contact with sparks and flame..... and I'm going to open it up with a cutting torch. Got me a big ol' pipe wrench an' takes out that valve assembly thingy...
then I takes me a big ol' whiff. 
Sure nuff, this thing used to contain the "highly flammable liquid" gas cook'n stove fuel called propane. Then I got a think'n...."how the hell ya gonna get that smell out there"? 
Now, what better way to remove the fumes than to fill it with water? 
What I did!!! Three times. Then to be on the safe side, I blows it out with a air hose...three times. 
Ain't no more that "highly flammable liquid propane" stuff in there.
    Then I take it back into the shop, laid it on the floor, but still being just a mite leery as to the 
past contents, "highly flammable liquid propane", I lights up a smoke and takes me a five minute break to survey the upcoming game plan.  
And think out all the possibilities as to what was about to happen.
Hell....it couldn't blow up. Could it?? I took all the "highly flammable liquid propane" stuff out.
    Being safety minded, I made sure that the fire extinguisher was handy and that there was an open unobstructed path to the door.
All looked well!!!
Precaution #2 was to be on the "extra" safe side. So I pulls out my trusty Bic lighter. Yeah!!!
I cautiously put the flame in front of the hole, keep'n back at arms reach...ya know.
Bet you thought all hell were gonna broke loose, didn't ya?
Nuttin happen. 
Well it didn't.....until I turned the flame into the hole.
Holy Crap!!!!
There was this God awful sound of a big ol' jet engine filling the room.
Beautiful blue flames com'n out from that hole where I took that valve out...shoot'n 10 feets.
My BBQ pit was on the move...LOOK OUT!!!
Shoot'n across the room under it's own power. Across the shop floor it went, taking out and bounc'n off everything in it's path.
    I was definitely just a little "shook up" by all this excitement...boy howdy let me tell ya, was I ever...thought I done wet my drawers.
My pride and dignity was terribly hurt from all the laughter and hee ha's from all the onlookers, which had kept their distance and made quick exits from the building.
As I surveyed for any damage to property or person, I felt this numbing and burning feeling to my right hand. 
MY GOD, am I on fire???

A couple weeks later my hand was completely healed and that "Jet Powered BBQ" was sizzling the finest steaks anywhere south of Dallas!!!
Happy Sailing !!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

One more week....

I were lay'n round get'n over "humid-titis" and got to think'n...."ya better stay another week". Ya see, it's like this, I didn't get everything done that I wanted to get done. Yesterday was a complete waste other than the cherry hot fudge sundae I ate up last night. Let me tell ya bout that sundae. I tell the girl I want a LARGE cherry hot fudge sundae. The girl was completely confused. "We don't have cherry hot fudge sundaes". I says HUH??? (the sign shows all the flavors, including the two I want, cherry and hot fudge). After I explain to combine the two ingredients she says...."Oh, I didn't think of that". Then she says, "what size would you like"? HUH? I just tole you....LARGE. Then she says...."ok, one large strawberry and chocolate sundae....right"? HUH? Finally after management intervention, I get my large cherry hot fudge sundae......damn. It were good too.

Went off to the fish'n pier an' chunk my pole in the water a few times. WHOA.....what was that? Something done bite my fish'n lure. Then he bite it again. Then he bite it slap off. When that happen I know what it was. A damn ribbonfish. And ya don't eat ribbonfish.

So I pack up my fish pole and head back to "da house". One light shine over here and the other one shine over there. Got to get that fixed.

Had two days of wind and humidity. Boy howdy let me tell ya.....salt everywhere. The "da house" is covered with a thin layer of salt. The "that jeep" is covered with a layer of salt. Can't see out the winders. Everything sticky. Sweat like a hog eat'n slop an' smell like a goat. Why the hell do people vacation on the beach?

Went to the hardware store yesterday and bought me up some stuff to put wheels on the "bubba boat". They probably gonna lay in the back of "that jeep" and rot.

Ok....got things to do......laters.

See there? Didn't I told ya?
What ya see there is a Billy Bob Engineering "bubba boat" redneck boat trailer. One trip to the water is all it gonna take. Load up all my stuff, pick up the other end and tow that sucker right down to the waters edge. Go out an' catch me up some fish. Yeah.....that what I'm talk'n bout.
So far the patch is holding on the air tube what I burn two holes with a smoke. "No smok'n in da boat Billy Bob".

Sunday, September 25, 2011

What, no presents???

I waked up late again this morn'n to wind outside. What the hell???

After giv'n much thought and speculation, I decided I don't need no stink'n surround sound system. But I did find one I would give my left arm for. 
Now that's what I'm talk'n bout. Logitech don't make this model no more, but there are still a few available online.....@ $995. Holy cows!!! Then I look at another system by Logitech......
This one will blow yer socks off too....shake the winders, knock stuff off the walls.....crank up the volume.
Then last but not least is the Boze system............
Ok....that's all I have to say bout that.

Got to get in gear and head 'em up to nephews house, just up the road a piece. Stop by the parts store and pick up some parts (fan clutch and thermostat). Joe is gonna fix "that jeep" for his uncle Bill. Feed me too. He's such a good boy.

I'm out of here......back laters.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Happy Birfday Billy Bob

Boy howdy, today is the first day of be'n officially old (70). I ain't no old fart no more....I'm just old.

Well we went out and ate last night. Had me up a big ol' platter....one them cast iron thingys, full of sizzl'n fajitas. I sure were tempted to drink me up one them good look'n, refresh'n ice cold draft beers, but settled for coffee instead. With what little bit of intelligent thoughts I may have left, I didn't want to screw them up by get'n all snockered stumbl'n drunk. I make good decisions sometimes. Visited with nephew an' girlfriend all the ways up till my bed time. Didn't think they was ever gonna leave. Photos??? Well hell no....done forgot to take camera.

Was a bit warm this morn'n when I finally roll out of bed.....at 8:30am. "Sheesh Billy Bob, ya sleep too much". Didn't take me very long to get all rare'n to go and do something. Broke open them new a/c gauges and prime up that vacuum pump an' hook it up to "da house" dash air.
Here in just a little bit, I gonna charge that sucker up.
Then I check the fan clutch on "that jeep". Nephew says I need changed it. I says it look good to me. But what the hell, change it.  If'n ya remember, "that jeep is been get'n hot.

Ok....got 'er all charge up....mak'n cold air.....that what I'm talk'n bout.

Friday, September 23, 2011

What to do in Paradise

Boy howdy let me tell ya, things chance as time rolls on. I'm talk'n bout a little fish'n village with a population of bout 600 when I first come to the Island to live. Half the streets was paved with caliche or how ever the hell ya spell it. Weren't no street lights to find your way home from the bars. If'n ya wasn't fish'n or at home, ya was at a bar get'n smashed. Everybody was a fisherman. But that was back in late 60's when Port Aransas was wild to the bone.

Those days are gone now. Condos in what ever direction ya look. Great big ol' tourist trap souvenir shops on every corner.  Laws and ordinances you won't find in a big city like Houston. Cops everywhere.....hid'n in cracks an' crannys....like cockroaches, wait'n to pounce on any infraction of the law. But Port Aransas is still the destination choice of hunnerds of thousands of tourists each year. During spring break ya ain't got a chance to make a left turn. Ya gotta make 3 right turns.

Ok, that's enough bout Port Aransas. What ya gonna do today Billy Bob?  Probably ain't gonna be do'n nuttin exciting today, but today is yet young.

4pm.....and it stayed young. Old Billy Bob just din't do a thing today. Call my nephew and con him to come visit his bestest uncle in the whole wide world. When I tell him how poorly "that jeep" is runn'n an' I had to go over there and pick up my vacuum pump.....well you know the rest the story. He be here in a couple hours. He's a good boy.

We gonna go out to Old San Juan's Mexican restaurant for supper tonight. Eat 'em up me some sizzl'n fajitas I bet ya. May even drink me up a ice cold draft beer. Ain't had one in over a year. Probably gonna get snockered....flat ass drunker 'an a skunk....on one ice cold draft beer. That would be cool.

Then I got to wonder'n.....what the hell is wrong with my blog? I been mess'n with it for the last week try'n to make it look more better. But it seems all I have done is run my customers off. Part I gonna blame on Blogger 'cause yesterday morn'n after I were mess'n with it, it didn't show my post till way in the afternoon. Then some weren't able to post a comment. That seems to be the case today also. Gonna be mess'n with blogger one more time....but not today.

Put that patch in "bubba boat". Boy howdy you talk bout stick. It gonna take a big ol' hammer get that thing off. Took bout an hour or so to get the old patch and that sticky glue off before install'n the new one. That sucker leak now, it go'n in the dumpster.Then I put that new part on the dash air for "da house". Weren't nuttin to it. Evacuate an' recharge and old Billy Bob is gonna be a "cool dude".

Tomorrow is my birthday ya know, so I'm think'n I gonna go to town and buy me up them toys I were talk'n bout yesterday.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Get'n over sick....

Holy cows, I want you look'it them fish.

Yesterday was one them days ya want to forget all about. When I woke up yesterday morn'n, I thought I was dead for sure. Nuttin worked, stumbl'n around "da house", dropp'n stuff, try'n to brew me up a pot and make it to the couch before something serious happen. Don't know if'n it were something I ate or something I didn't eat. Salt air??? I was down an' out for the count.....just like that. Feel much better this morn'n.

Went off to the fish'n piers last night in hopes of catch'n me up some fish. Well crap, the lights don't work. The ones on "that jeep" is what I'm talk'n bout. When I turn them lights on I says...."are they on"? One was shin'n down on the ground an' the other one was shin'n straight up in the air. What the hell??? I never drove "that jeep" in the dark before, so I had no idea. By the time I got to the fish'n pier, I done had a hunnert people flash'n their lights back at me. Spend bout an hour at the Roberts point pier throw'n my pole in the water. Never catched a fish. In fact, nobody catched a fish.

Today I got to head off to Corpus Christi and look for some parts. Need to run over to Sinton, bro in laws el ranchito, and pick up my vacuum pump for the dash air on "da house". Sure would hate to drive all the way back to Deming, 800 mile, with no air cond. 

Ain't got nuttin more to say right now.....so I'm off. Laters

Well here I am back from the big city. To my surprise, I fount my parts in no time flat. Then I says...."what ya gonna do now Billy Bob". I gusee I could run down to Best Buy an' get me an extension cable for my hunnert year old printer. Holy crap....them cables is way too much $$$$. Then I went an' look at some brand spank'n new printers. Well Howdy Doody, they all wireless, do all kind of fangle stuff on 'em an' cost less than a hunnert bucks. Now I fount me one I really like. All purty an' stuff. But I says...."wait a gal'd dern minute....I don't need that". Then I goes over there an' looks at sound systems. Boy howdy let me tell ya, I fount one I really like. It were all purty an' stuff too. It were a high dollar ($400) Boze system what knock your doors slap off. Now that what I'm talk'n bout. Then I got to think'n...."do I really need to knock doors off"? Spend 2 hours in there and ain't bought a thing. But I know what I want if'n I go back.

Then I headed off to Harbor Freight....just look'n ya know. Bought me up a brand spank'n new set of refrigeration guages since I don't know where my old ones is at.

So old Billy Bob had hisself a successful day in Corpus Christi. Got what I went for an' fount a couple toys what I want to make me happy.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Sweet good byes

Did ya ever tell a loved one/friend/acquaintance good bye. I quit do'n that many years ago. Good byes are too final....like "been good know'n ya" and never see them again. Good byes should be left at the grave as the first shovel of dirt is tossed and ya walk away. I've said good bye too many times.

As the kids rounded up all their stuff, a sadness filled the air. It's been a wonderful week of holler'n and scream'n, hugs an' kiss's, talk'n an' silence. But all good things come to an end. It's time for old Billy Bob to hit the road again. The memories of this past week will be cherished forever....if I don't lose my freak'n mind. I think "that's all I have to say bout that". Adios and see ya later daughter (Angela), SiL (Matt) and grandkiddos (Kaitlyn, Nathan and Hannah). Love ya bunches......[this] much.

Got up this morn'n feel'n pretty darn snappy. That's a good sign ya know. It's a beautiful day for travel'n another two hunnert an' some miles. Ain't got a whole lot of stuff to do before hit'n the road, but I ain't gonna rush into it, that's for sure. Rush'n into stuff is for kids. Causes stress, heartburn, headaches and it's really a pain in the ass.

"da porch" time....sit back sip'n a cup an' think'n good thoughts.

11am.....well it's almost time to say "adios" to the Stephen F. Austin State Park again. This being my 4th trip here I should remember how to get back next year. Boy howdy, a year seems a long time but it goes by soooo fast as ya grow older.

Next stop will be Port Aransas, Texas. Right slap dab on the Gulf of Mexico.....itty bitty string bikinis and stuff like that.....fresh shrimps right off'n the boat, Old San Juan's sizzl'n fajitas....yum yum eat'em up. I'm think'n bout a week on the beach is all this old feller is gonna be able to handle. After liv'n on the "Island" for 18 years, it don't take long to see it all. Old school stuff. Been there done that kind'a stuff. Maybe I'll get a chance to catch me up some fish, get my "bubba boat" fixed, fix the dash air on "Sally da house", play a round of golf ball swak'n, visit a few old friends....you know, just every day tourist stuff. 

Ok.....I'm out of here....see ya down the road a piece.
Well shoot, that didn't take long. Here I are sit'n side the road just past the Kennedy causeway bridge. That bridge is way up there cross'n over the ICW...intracoastal waterway. Eat'n me up a big ol' sammich while Sadie Mae is outside pee'n and poop'n. At least I suppose that what she do'n.

Got one more gas station to check out before I get to the island where I might be able to buy fuel. For the last hunnert mile, there was not one station I could pull this big thing (bout 55 feets long) into for fuel. Gas stations are not R/V friendly.

 Ok....crank 'em up and head 'em up......look out Port A, here come Billy Bob.

5:45pm.....that didn't take long neither. All set up in the County Park....right along side the Corpus Christi ship channel an' the beach is right over there. It hotter inside than out. Boy howdy, go figger that. 

Now it's lay back time....shut yer eyes and dream sweet nuttins. Oh wait, too late for a nap. How bout a fresh cup of coffee, go sit on "da porch" and breath in that salt air. Rust your lungs ya know. Along with the frame on your car, eat right through a paint job....salt has teeth....like a piranha fish. 

Monday, September 19, 2011

Down and out.....

Rain waked me up last night. Not that I have anything against rain, but it's not needed at Billy Bob's camp at this time. It makes mud, wet camp chairs to sit in and ceases all outside activity....what ain't a whole bunch for the older generation.

After I ate up that big sammich the other night, it's been downhill ever since. I know better than to eat too much, but it was so good, I ate up the whole thing. Now I'm pay'n dearly. Was sick most the day yesterday and feel like a bowl of oatmeal this morning. Had planned on a morn'n of swak'n golf balls, but there ain't no way I gonna make it. Guess I'll just go outside, sit on "da porch" sip a cup and do some think'n.

From yesterdays comments, it seem someone is think'n old Billy Bob is a killer of critters. Ain't so. But it may have sounded like we was shoot'n raccoons with a gun, when all along it was a canon. Not a cannon, but a Canon digital camera. Billy Bob don't hunt and kill (murder) innocent creatures. Mosquitoes and flies are not innocent, so they better watch out. "That's all I have to say bout that".....Gump.

More laters as the day progresses......

Just thought I would jump in here and let everybody know old Billy Bob done fount that freon leak on the dash air. Right where I said it would be the other day. 
But it ain't gonna be an easy fix if I know Chevy-lay. Probably gonna have to replace the whole hose pipe thingy to make a $3 repair. Frost's me sometimes when manufacturers shaft the consumer like they do.   

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Well here we go with another wonderful day. Or it look it gonna be a good'un one for sure. I rekon my little "un-rain" dance did the trick last night 'cause we didn't get no rain. Now I do realize east Texas is in dire need of rain, but all of east Texas ain't out camp'n in some big ol' forest with daughters, SIL's and grand babies.  Those of ya that did get rain, you can thank old Billy Bob's "State Park un-rain dance" for your fortune.

Oh wait.....here that cherry chocolate birthday cake what the grand kids baked me up for my upcoming birthday....24th.....before and after.
 They done a perfect job....delicious.

 Me and SIL Matt went hunt'n last night wonst it got dark. Matt went on a stroll through the woods and come back talk'n bout see'n 9 armadillos. That boy got a eye for them critters. That's a record ya know. Then it weren't no time an' here come the raccoons....chomp'n on dog food, biscuits an' gravy and not ate up submarine sammichs.
They was climb'n in the trees....come out that high grass like a herd of starv'n vultures. It ain't easy shoot'n raccoons in the dark, but we got us a bunch of 'em.

Ok......here a coon.

Cute little bugger huh?

 Let's build us a big ol' condo......

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Birthday bash...early

Yesterday....yes, yesterday. Let me tell ya, it ain't easy try'n to entertain an' keep up with grand yung'ns. They just too active to keep up with.....so I just sit there in my chair out on "da porch" sip'n a cup and watches 'em. What a life! Ya gotta love it.
Ya know they gonna grow up real fast like and ya ain't gonna have nuttin left but memories. Take some pics, set 'em in your lap....talk to them. 

Have ya ever ride one them electric scooters? Well old Billy Bob did. Been a hunnert year since I been on a scooter....we used to race them ya know....downhill go'n a hunnert mile a hour. Well I looks at this new fangled electric scooter and says..."wonder if I can ride that"?
Now I gotta warn ya, this is a long video....long in bandwidth....may take a while to load up. But yep, that is old Billy Bob grinn'n from ear to ear......go'n a hunert mile a hour of course.

Grandkids gonna bake me up a birthday cake today. Ask me what kind I want and I says..."cherry chocolate". Now I got to tell ya right now, my cherry chocolate cake is got to be one the bestest cake ya ever set yer teeths into. Here how ya make it....

Ya go to Walmart and buy ya up one them yaller cake mixes, a can of chocolate fudge frost'n an' a can of Comstock cherry pie fill'n. Then ya goes home. Break ya out a pan, a skillet or a big bowl.....if'n ya got one. Empty that cake mix right in the bottom that pan, skillet or bowl and break open 3 eggs right on top. With a mixer thingy...I use a egg flippit thingy, ya mix them eggs right into that cake mix. Note: In case ya ain't got a egg flippit, ya could probably improvise and use a electric mixer. Then ya throws that can of cherry pie fill'n in there and mix 'er up some more. Don't be put'n no water in there....sheesh!! That's it....simple huh? Put it in a greased and floured up 9X14 cake pan or what ever suits yer fancy and toss that sucker in a 350 degs oven for how ever long it take. You know....the old toothpick trick. I wanna hear from all ya what try this recipe.

The handsome dude of the pack.....Nate (Nathan).
The beautiful "mama" Angela. She such a good girl. Bestest mama this side of Dallas. That my baby girl. Loves her to death.

Weather thingy says we gonna get some rain. That be good for some the folks what live in the area....Dizzy and Hermit, but it gonna make it muddy for old Billy Bob....and the kids sleep'n out there in a tent. My God, I can see it now....little muddy feet prints all over my floors (carpet).

Afternoon..... I done crawls up under "da house" an' fix it up that gasoline leak. Don't take long when ya got a purty good idea what ya do'n an' the right tools to do it with. Old Billy Bob got some tools ya know. Table saw, chain saw.....big ol' hammers, all kinds of stuff.
Now....take a close look at this thang and tell me if'n them are squirl bites.
Look to me like somebody been chew on my gas line.....what ya think?

Ok, I been wait for 2 day now and ain't nobody say nuttin bout my new blog look. I got to know....ya know. I'm think'n it look pretty good myself, but who am I to say? Input.....need input. Been think'n of keep'n the layout an' change the background from time to time......now that I knows how.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Go'n shopp'n

Boy howdy, have I ever make a mess of things now. That what happens when ya ain't got nuttin to do and ya start mess'n with stuff.

My granddarter drawed a pic and I were gonna put it as the blog background. Then I see instructions, what I never pay no mind to. Well hell, this pic won't work no better than that "fish'n" one. So....I starts push'n them damn buttons again. "Now look what ya done Billy Bob".

 Boy howdy, them kids sure do grow up fast. Today we gonna go do some shopp'n. Buy stuff. Spend a hunnert dollar. Go to Taco Bell...eat tacos......yum! I thinks I'm gonna wear out well ahead of these barefoot young'uns. Little rednecks, that what they are. Just like their grandpa....and their mama, and their cousins, and their aunts and uncles.....yup, little redneck kids......make me so proud.

7pm.....yup, they wored out the old Billy Bob. Didn't take long neither. In fact, after Best Buy, I were ready to call it quits. Bought me up a little camera what will fit in my pocket. Canon something or anuther, 16 megapixels, 5 to 1 optical zoom, 4 to 1 digital zoom....but it ain't got no eye lookie through thingy. Back at "da house" I were try'n it out. I says to Angela, I don't like it already, it look fuzzy in that little screen. Then she take off the protective plastic thingy over the screen and walla....clear as a bell. She such a good girl.
More details in tomorrows blog post....I garontee ya.... ( how the hell ya spell Ga Rone Tee )?

Was a fabulous day till I wore slap out chas'n them grandkids all over the stores. Remember back a spell when I used to take my daughter shopp'n. Now she tak'n her daddy shopp'n. Cain't beat that wit a stik. She such a good girl.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Push'n buttons....

Holy crap Billy Bob, now look at what ya went an' done. Yeah, I were bored yesterday and start mess'n with stuff. Push'n a button here and push'n a button there. Don't take long and ya got everything all screw up and no way to fix it. Didn't know ya could upload a background pic for the blog. Now I do.

Big ol' possum came by for a visit last night.....ain't he cute??? Is so a possum.

Speak'n of "fix it", I were smell'n something what didn't smell right. What the hell is that smell?? Been smell it for hours. Then I were sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup when I looks under "Sally da house". What the hell??? There a puddle under there. Further investigation reveals a gasoline leak. Not a big one, but at $3.50 a gallon, this thing gotta be fix. The fuel line to the generator is got a little hole in it. Don't even question how it got there 'cause I ain't got no answers. Just that it there and it got to be fix. Then I got to think'n bout them squirls. Ya don't suppose one got under there an' take a bite out my fuel line do ya?

Then I were look'n under the hood of "da house" and maybe fount that freon leak on the dash air. Way back there where it hard to fix. I used to do this shit for a living ya know, so don't worry bout a thing. I can do it. But the strange thing is that the little red cap is gone....poooof, just like that. The question is....was it ever there or did somebody steal it. Ain't gonna say no more bout that until I run down to the auto parts store an' buy me up some refrigerant an' a brand spank'n new little red cap.....pressurize the system and breakout the old leak detector....pin point that leak.

A deer sneaked up behind me last night. Scare the hell out old Billy Bob sit'n out there sip'n a cup an' think'n. Now I ain't talk'n bout sneak'n up 100 feets away, I'm talk'n 10 feets....right behind me....snort'n an' stuff...eat'n grass. Holy crap I come out that chair right fast like....holler "HEY". Ain't see no raccoons last night, but I set out a container of tater salad for them just in case. They like tater salad ya know. It were empty this morning.

Ok, it's 10am an'I got to go sit on "da porch", sip a cup an' do some think'n. Daughter gonna be here with the grandyung'ns bout 4pm....got lots of stuff to do in the mean time.

Big ol' blackbird.......damn!!!

While I were sit'n out there, I figgered no use wast'n time. So I break out my engine rebuild tools (couple crescent wrenchs and a big ol' hammer) and fix the tow bar. You know, grease it up a bit, make it easy to hook up and disconnect....general maintenance ya know. Now it just like a brand spank'n new one. Don't ya just love WD40???

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Cool morning

Boy howdy is old Billy Bob grumpy this morn'n. Ya see, yesterdays "hot" trip done wore me slap out down to the bone. I were think'n I felt bad last night, but I feel worster this morning. But I'll get over it....after while.

Unhook'n "that jeep" was a chore I ain't gonna forget the rest of the day. Knock my knuckles on everthing....and then one the pins what hold the tow bar wouldn't budge. There weren't no way......other than Billy Bob's way....big hammer. Now I got to run up the headquarters place and pay my dues. "I'll be back"....Squishnerger.

Here it is noon and old Billy Bob still ain't feel'n too well. That trip yesterday must'a been more than I could handle. Now I'm gonna have a wasted day....and there's a golf ball swak'n place right over there. Weather is beautiful.

Had me a talk with the park host....or what ever they call them....old Billy Bob ain't gonna be catch no big catfish out the Brazos river. There 3 reason why. The first being that nobody else has been catch any. Second, the river is low. And third, it's bout a 14 mile hike to the river. Well maybe not that far, but more than I'm gonna walk just to catch a stink'n fish what I'm gonna throws back anyhows. If'n there was a $20 dollar bill lay'n on the bank, I would have to think twict bout walk'n over there to pick it up. Don't do walk'n ya know.

Get'n camp set up......but I might say, very slowly. Gonna put me some dog food out there round them trees for the squills and raccoons. Them coons sure are cute little buggers. So what if it says not to feed the critters....I paid my dues. I chose this camp site purposely so we could watch the coons climb'n in an' out the dumpster. Grandkids love that ya know.


Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Check out time....

Holy crap Billy Bob, do you see what time it is? Yeah I got up late again. Was expect'n to get up right bout 6am, but damn, it would still be dark out there an' ain't nobody in their right mind gonna be get'n up in the dark.

Yesterdays sank boat incident seems to gather quite a stir in the comments section. So I rekon I gonna explain. Ya see, that boat was do'n exactly what I designed it to do. But then whiles it was way out there in the middle of the lake, the drive belt to the wheel thingy on the back broke slap in two. Don't gonna go nowheres....just sit there. The slight breeze was enough to float that boat down there in amunst all them lilly pad thingys grow'n out the water. Well I ain't gonna walk out there and get my boat with all them freak'n turtles out there. No sir....they be like sharks. Or pirina (piranha) fish what eat toes and stuff. With my fish pole I can hook that damn sinked boat and drag it to shore. After a few (500 or so) casts, I hooks that boat and start reel'n. It hang up in them lilly pad thingys. I pulls some more and over she goes.....bottom side up. Eventually I get it to shore, take it to "da house", give it a bath an' set it in the sun to dry. Amazingly....nuttin is broke. Look like it never been in the water. Even though the electronics is bit the dust, the motor still works. Back to the draw'n board.

Boy howdy do I got some do'n to do if'n I'm gonna be on the road by noon. Got my route all figger out to head off to Steven F. Austin State Park....right bout 240 mile from here. Gonna go visit my daughter and grandyun'un's. Coffee pot gonna be on and all visitors is welcome to drop in to say "howdy". Probably gonna be an empty r/v camp'n site right next door.

Ok, gonna do a few things an' be right back after a little while.....

11:58am....all hook up and ready to roll. As I've mentioned a time or two, I may not have internet where I'm go'n.
See ya down the road......

3pm.....Boy howdy, don't know what happen but it hot'er 'an hell out there (109 by the little thermometer thingy hang'n outside). But that ain't nuttin.....my dash air done ain't work'n. It blow'n hot air bout 200 degs or so. Crank up the generator way back up the road a piece....3 hour ago, and it's still hot in here. I just happen to have a can of air conditioning revival juice, what I put in way back there, but in a hour, it were gone.....poooof, just like that. Hope the leak is in the same place it were a couple year ago. Cheap and an easy fix.

Just call the State Park....all good to go for the next 7 days.
See ya there......if'n I got a internet signal.

6:30pm......here I are....at the Steven F. Austin State Park. That's in Texas ya know.
I gonna tell ya right now, driv'n over two hunnert mile a day just wear ol Billy Bob slap out. The heat didn't help much neither. My God, it were hot.

Only see one fire on the way here....back up the road a piece bout a hunnert mile. Just off I-45 at Madisonville. Not IN Madisonville.....sheesh!!! Bout 5 mile east of Texas 90S. Now let some "know all bout fires" type a guy tell me a welder start it. Sheesh, he don't no nuttin bout weld'n.

That the best I could do for a pic roll'n down a tipsy turvy highway.

Kick back time......on "da porch" when it get a little cooler. Weather thingy says I gonna have a nice visit with the daughter and grandkids. Make 'em stay outside....that what I'll do.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Go'n camp'n

Bruthas', sistas', lil' chillins'....step right up....see Joe Joe the dog face boy (Joe Joe is not directed at any one person in particular...it's just a name.....sheesh).
My daddy used to be a barker at the circus. But do you think he ever took me to the circus? Well hell no.

By the way I feel this morning, vacation must be almost over. Last night was one of the worstest nights I been through in months. Well, maybe not months....a week or so. I lay there toss an' turn all night long.....Sadie's butt in my face...."damn Sadie....MOVE". I got to think'n bout this an' think'n bout that....why this an' why that, hurt'n here an' hurt'n there......"damn Billy Bob...relax, everything gonna be just fine".

Have ya ever get down to the wire, bout ready to take off on a trip? Ya really don't wanna go? You're not in the least bit excited? That where I at this morning. I were watch'n all them other campers pack'n up yesterday morning and got to think'n...."why the hell did they come to the lake in the first place if they only gonna stay a day"? Friday evening they was set'n up camp, wimmins run'n round tote'n stuff, men crank'n jacks an' stuff, kids head'n for the lake....holler'n an' scream'n. Then Sunday morning, before I get down half a cup, they was pack'n up. One day....that all they got, one freak'n day. Now it's time for old Billy Bob to start pack'n up.

Now I have a decision what I got to ponder on for a bit. Do I put the Mississippi Riverboat in the lake or not? There ain't no wind so it ain't gonna blow away out to the middle of the lake. As everybody know, it took me a year to build this beautiful Mississippi riverboat and to see it float'n off across the lake with no way to save it....well, think bout it. Decisions, decisions, decisions......life is hard.

I cranks up the laptop this morn'n and I got Mobile Broadband internet connection....that's good ya know. Then.....I ain't got nuttin. Then I got National Access....that no so good ya know. Then my frigg'n computer lock slap up....won't do nuttin. Then Firefox is all screw up....not responding. Life is hard in the world of computer'n and post'n blog nonsense.

1pm.....put that boat in the water. All was well until.........

"HOLY SHIT Billy Bob, ya done went an' sinked da boat".

Don't suppose I have to explain anything, do I??? Well shoot.....if'n that drive belt hadn't broke, the damn boat wouldn't be upsidedown. I rekon I lost all the electronic doodads, battery and possibly the motor. Brung it home and wash all the mud an' stuff off it. When it dries, back on the shelf for the rest of my life. It was fun while it lasted.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

A somber day....

It's hard to express true feelings with just the stroke of a pen and a piece of paper. Ya gotta close your eyes, reach into your heart and remember.

I remember that day all too well. A day never to be forgotten. The day the United States of America was attacked by terrorist from a foreign country. Peoples lives were changed that day. The United States was changed that day. Our way of life and our freedoms were changed that day. May the souls of those that lost their lives that day rest in peace in a heavenly place. May the tears of those that lost loved ones on that day be wiped away by the hand of God. America the beautiful, may we never forget.

Well now that I got my mind back in order, sip'ed up a cup and done some think'n...."now what the hell ya gonna do Billy Bob"? It's back to travel'n mode. Where, what, why and when. I were look'n at the map and I can be in Port Aransas in 2 days...more or less (460 mile). Put me there right bout Thursday even'n just in time for sizzl'n fajitas at Old San Juan's Mexican Restaurant. $5.00. Yeah boy howdy.

Now you might be ask'n why I'm going to Port Aransas. Actually I don't know for sure, but it's always been a destination every time I head off to somewheres in Texas. Ain't no use chang'n now. You do know that they gots cute little thangs in string bikinis an' cowboy hats run'n round on the beach....right? No, don't even think it. Old Billy Bob too old to be gawk'n at them cute little thangs. I retired from the University of Texas in Port Aransas ya know. It's been my homebase for years....bank account, post office box, beach, salt water fish'n, old friends, golf courses and string bikinis. 

Got the "bubba boat" all rolled up and packed in "that jeep". Done gave up on catch'n me a big ol' catfish. Gonna go out there, sit on "da porch", sip me up a cup and do some think'n. What a life!!!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Whoa is me...

Holy crap, I feel terrible this morning. But then, we all have mornings like this. Don't we???

Yesterday afternoon I done got me some shakes an' I were kind'a sort'a dizzy for a spell. Get it....dizzy spell? Well, things ain't no better this morning. Cain't blame it on what I ate 'cause I ate me up a big "fattie" taquito bout noon time. Cain't blame it on coffee 'cause coffee don't do me that way. Coffee peps me up, makes me alive, opens both eyes....makes me wanna do stuff.

Speak'n of coffee, my doctor always ask me how many cups of coffee I drink each day. What exactly does he mean by how many cups? When I make my first pot in the morning, I fill the water thingy to a bit over 6 cups, which by the way would be something like 36 to 40 oz's....right? Two cups later, my pot is empty. So when I tell him I drink 4 or 5 cups a day, how many cups did I drink??? Coffee should never ever be measured in cups. Take a look at your cup. Is it a 6 oz. cup, the standard measure for a cup of coffee, or is it a great big ol' 20 oz. jug like Billy Bob use?

Last nights fish'n excursion ended up just another 3 hour bout of feed'n turtles. I'm beginn'n to think....fish'n sucks. I reels this big ol' turtle up on the bank and he were fight'n mad. He had a death grip on my fish'n hook what I wanted back.....wouldn't let it go. Then I remember what Trouble was say'n bout thunder....so I whak that turtle slap on top his head with my needle nose pliers. He must'a thought lightning done struck him 'cause he let loose right now. Holy crap turtle, look what you went an' done to my fish'n hook. He done crush it down almost flat. Now that were one mean turtle.

Ok...."da porch" time, sip a cup and do some think'n.....

Friday, September 9, 2011

Scare me.....

Last night some kind of animal scared me while I was fishing. This is a normal blog post for many bloggers.

Now don't that first sentence just say it all?? There's something missing. Details. This is where it get's interesting.
So, what a good writer would do is 'splain some details....just exactly what it were what "scare the hell out ya".

Ya see, it happen like this....I were sit'n down there at the lake, fish'n pole all bait up with stink bait...or something like that, mind'n my own business, sip'n a cup and think'n. It were dark an' I were all by myself, just enough moonshine to see creepy shadows. Out the corner my eye I see something move. I turns my flashlight in that direction and ......holy shit, what the hell is that? Five foots away and still com'n on were this critter what had come out the woods. I jumps straight up out my chair, trip over my fish pole an' old Billy Bob get'n him some distance. Of course I scream like a girl. At first sight, I were think'n....an alligator. Closer observation, from bout 20 feets now, I see it don't look nuttin like no alligator. Nerves all calm down now, I takes a couple steps closer. It were either an armadillo or a possum. It were too late for a detailed description of this critter as he was on his merry way back to the woods mumbl'n something like "what the hell was that"?

I turned my attention to a new fish'n spot bout a hunnert yards north of the turtle farm. Weren't there more than 30 minutes when here go my fish pole.....head for the water like a bullet. My heart jump go a hunnert mile a hour grab'n at that thing. I done catched me up a fish. Weren't a big 'un, but it were a bonified honest to goodness fish. Not quite big enough to fill a dinner plate, but by god, it were a fish......Yeee Haaaa!!!! Then I says, where there one, there more. Then I hook up with a big feller.....a monster fish. Musta weigh in at the certified scales at no less than a pound or so. It were right bout 16 inches of romp'n stomp'n fish. Turn 'em loose and he go his merry way.

Oh yeah, I forget to tell ya, I think I runed (ruined) my camera. Ya see, here what happen. I were tot'n a arm full stuff down to the lake, tak'n the camera as evidence for a fish story. By the time I got there, my camera was doused with spilt coffee. After clean'n it up with lake water, it still functions as a day camera, but the little flasher thingy won't pop up no more for night time pics. Look like a trip to Walmart is in order.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Stink bait....

I'm gonna try this thing a little different this morn'n. This may be the shortest blog I ever wrote. But first, there a few things on my mind.............

I were tell'n my son the "mr nice guy", what he really ain't, about blogs going to the top when they are posted. Over there in "My Blog List" is what I'm talk'n bout. Did I ever tell bout the time....I went to the toy store to buy up some "tuff", "strong like bull" toy trucks for the boys. Tonka toys. Big 'uns....man size. Billy, mr nice guy, destroyer of all, was presented with a dump truck....only one moving part. Ain't no way he gonna break just one moving part. I swear to God, it weren't 2 hour later and that truck were slap broke in two pieces. Sheesh!!!
But that ain't what I were talk'n bout, is it? But it do have something to do with my son chang'n stuff, push'n buttons...never satisfied with the way it come out the package. My first suggestion to him is...on the create post screen, make sure "Post date and time" is on automatic. Ya gotta click Post options for that. Next make sure you have the correct time set. Where ya do that...I have no freak'n idea.

Ok, the next thing of importance this morn'n is...."bubba boat" gots a flat tire. After tote'n that thing down to the lake, install'n the motor and battery....three trips I'm tell'n ya...three trips down to that lake, and that air tube thingy ain't got no air in it. That's it....gonna roll that sucker up and put it in the back of "that jeep" till I find the right kind of patch'n material. "That's all I have to say bout that".....GUMP.

Now let me tell ya bout that fish'n. What the hell am I do'n fish'n for catfish in a turtle farm? Some old feller comes by and says...."ya catch'n any"??? Well hell no I ain't catch'n any. Then he say...."here, try this bait". I opens it up and HOLY CRAP....that stuff smell like something die in there. That was the most god awful smell'n stuff I ever smell. And it don't catch no fish. Oh, did I tell ya bout the humongous freak'n turtle I hook in the back foot? Don't know how that happen, but I want my hook. I figgers it safe to just pull him up on the bank, take my needle nose pliers and take that hook right out. Did you know a snapp'n turtle can lick his ass or take a finger off if'n ya attempt to remove a hook from his back foot? Damn!!!

The fish what got away. I were sit'n there sip'n a cup....just mind'n my own business, when here go my fish pole head for the water. I grabs holt that thing and starts reel'n. Oh boy, got me a big'un. Right up to the bank I reel what look like a hunnert pounder....well maybe closer to 5 pound. Then he give one them rolly polly moves and was gone....pooof, just like that.

1pm.....Just got back from get'n totally lost. I were on this road (751) go'n to Wills Point  when I realize I were go'n the wrong direction. But like I aways say, all roads go to the same place. Then I stop by a little convenience store an' bought me up some "stink" bait and some "punch" bait. Now I are gonna catch me up a whopper for sure. My god, that stuff do stink something terrible. Stop by the hardware store....fount me some wheels, axle shaft and pvc pipe for "bubba boat". Well hell no I didn't buy them...."bubba" is tak'n a nap. Oh yeah, fount me some "O" rings for the drive system on the Mississippi Riverboat.
Ok, I gotta go do some fish'n.....laters

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Just a short note to say......

Boy Howdy, that old Billy Bob done overdid it yesterday. I'm sore all over from my old crusty sun burnt toes to the top my head. Now ya see, here what happen. I tole myself yesterday morn'n, "Billy Bob, take it easy, take your time an' take a nap". That would'a work just fine, but that ain't what I did.

Let me tell ya right straight, I were a fish'n fool yesterday. Gave up on chunk'n fish lures at them damn fish and reverted to sit'n on my ass catfish'n. Toted all this fish'n stuff down to the lake and then just sit there look'n at my fish poles in the water do'n nuttin. They was just sit'n there. Well, yes they did. Every time a turtle got hungry, he steal my bait and the fish pole do one them little wiggle things. Reel in an' I ain't got no bait.

Now let me tell ya bout them turtles. My fish'n hook done got hung up in one them turtles lips and here he come right up on shore, right where I sit'n. He must'a been plenty pissed 'cause he had that "bite'n" look in his eyes. Big ol' nasty look'n mouth flap'n at me while I "cautiously" attempt to relieve him of  that sharp fish'n hook. I bet ya a buck his neck was a foots long an' he was aim'n to take one my fingers off. Damn that were one mean look'n turtle. Can ya eat snapp'n turtles???

Then bout 6pm I got the urge to go catch me up some fish. I heared somewheres that catfish eat at night. Chunk a few lures, but there weren't nuttin but little minners swim'n round.....and it take too many them for a good sammich. Well anyhows, I didn't catch no fish....just fed the turtles.

By the time 10pm roll around, I were hungry. I mean really hungry. Ate me up a peanutbutter/jelly sammich an' hit the sack. Yeah right. I were hurt'n. Was a long night of toss'n an' turn'n look'n for a comfortable position. "Damn Billy Bob, ya got to slow down".

Ok, my day is started......"now what ya gonna do Billy Bob"? Tote that "bubba boat" down there and go catch me up some big ol' bass....that what I gonna do.

Ok....3pm and ain't catched a fish yet. Went down there  to the lake, where I moved my "da porch", baited up my fish poles, chunk 'em in the water, sit back sip'n a cup and waited....and waited....and waited. Damn them ol' fish!!! But I did catch me up some more them snap'n turtles. One come close to get'n my finger, but I were faster....and smarter. Smaks him one time them needle nose pliers and he let go that hook an' take off.

Went over to the boat ramp to try catch one over there. Nope, nuttin but them damn snap'n turtles. Get'n low on bait. Break out the hot dogs Billy Bob. Bout afterwhiles, I think I gonna go catch me some fish. "bubba boat" still sit'n on the picnic table.

$:30pm....."bubba boat" is at the lake. Motor installed, life jacket on board, fish poles down there, fresh coffee brew'n and then.....the wind come up. At least all that stuff is down at the lake and I don't have no more stuff to tote. That a hard job ya know. Ain't gonna happen but this one time. Next time I gonna have wheels on the "bubba boat"....soons I find me a hardware store for some pvc pipe and a axle shaft. Steal me some wheels off'n some kids stroller when mom ain't look'n. She'll say...."what the hell....where my wheels"???
Ok.....coffee done...back to snapper fish'n.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Blanket weather...

Oh my God, what a change in weather. Here I were sit'n here a couple day ago piss'n an' moan'n how hot it was and then I wakes up this morn'n....it were cold. Not so cold (59 degs) that I would complain and head off to warmer weather, but cool enough for a couple little goosebumps. "where yer jammies Billy Bob"?

Was do'n some doodl'n last night while sit'n out there on "da porch". Tell me old Billy Bob don't catch no fish.

Took me a tour to Wills Point yesterday afternoon for a few items I were out of from the grocery store. The main street was paved in brick, what ya don't see much now days. The grocery store was a modern facility with modern prices. My God, maters was $2.99 a pound. Nice little town. In fact, kinda looks like what I been look'n for. Wonder if'n they got a golf ball swak'n place. That's all I really need ya know....and a Walmart. Well I already check out bout the Walmart....got one right down the road a piece....maybe 10 mile or so.

Went fish'n last night. Well hell no I didn't catch no fish. Had me a nice walk up and down that boat ramp bout 4 time. Then walk down the bank bout quarter mile or so chunk'n lures in the water. Fount me an old bait bucket what I decided to open up and see what was inside. Holy cows, it were full of old dead stink'n minners of some kind. Boy howdy let me tell ya, they stinked. It's a good bait bucket....high dollar, but what the hell would old Billy Bob do with a bait bucket. Left it there for them minners to cook in the sun some more.

Gotta run up to the park headquarters here in a bit....or what ever it called. Pay for another week at beautiful Tawakoni State Park. I think'n I might move "da house" over there to another camp site. There's a path what leads right down to the water. Hmmmmmm.....gonna have to think on that some more. Walk'n distance to the fish'n and not too far to tote the "bubba boat". What ya think???

Ok....things to do ya know....be back laters.

That settles that. Walk over there and look that other site. Yup, that will work. Took the laptop over there and yup, got a internet signal. Probably bout the same as here, so move is in progress. Soons that guy get his junk out my yard.
Boy howdylet me tell ya.....don't let no volunteer desk lady do your paperwork. Why that lady had me scheduled for a camp site 500 mile from here, charge me double the first time and not enough the second time. Wore the numbers slap off'n my credit card  go'n through that machine so many times. But anyhows....I'm settled into my brand spank'n new campsite (probably $500 in debt), got the awning out, "da porch" is set up and went fish'n.

 While I were throw'n lures in the water for that elusive "grande" mouth bass, my other fish pole takes off. Now what I mean by takes off, I mean it were headed for deep water....right across the bank
.....zoooom, just like that. A hunnert mile a hour. Holy crap, old Billy Bob's heart were pound'n like something feirce...."OH, my fish pole....my brand spank'n new fish pole". Grabs holt to it, reels it in and it weren't nuttin but a big ol' catfish. Can ya eat catfish??? See a big ol' carp swim'n round out there....could'a knock him slap in the head with a rock. Can ya eat carp???

Ok....done got me way too much sun sit'n out there wait'n for a fish. End up with lobster legs again like I done over there at Inks Lake. Where my aloe vera and sunscreen??? Good stuff for sunburn if'n ya didn't know.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Cool front....yeah!!!

Holy crap, I got up too early this morning. Had to laugh when I let Sadie Mae out to do her thang. Look at the "bubba boat" what was lay'n out there.....half deflated. Damn I would'a drown in that thing if'n I would have slept in it out on the lake. Temp is to a blaz'n 74 degs now, sun is shin'n on the "bubba boat an' he retak'n shape. That cool front we got last night sure did feel good. Had to drag me out a blanket it were so cold.

Ain't got a thing to do today. That is unless the wind dies down a bit in the next couple hours. Sure would like to go out on the lake and try out that new skeg on the "bubba boat". All excitis....just know I gonna have me a good ol' time out there. "NO SMOK'N IN DA BOAT"!!!!

Bunch of Labor Day visitors pull out last night and the remaining campers are pack'n up this morning. Been a busy week end at Lake Tawakoni. Now that is cause for me to do some think'n. What would happen if I decided to spend another week at beautiful Lake Tawakoni? I ain't got nowhere's to go. Ain't in no hurry to go. I like it here. Sure would like to catch me up one them big ol' fishes.

Gonna have to go find me a grocery store some time today. Down to rationing bread, ain't got no milk, maters are start'n to rot, taters done shrivel up, got roots grow'n out them....ain't got nuttin to eat. Damn it's a hard life when ya hav'n fun. "Fun??? You call this fun? You nuts Billy Bob". Well....actually it is fun, if ya forget bout all the trials and tribulations involved to have a day of fun. Like yesterday, I had fun. I was do'n something. Had me a project. Used my hands build'n stuff. Oh yeah, I remember what they call that fiberglass stuff I make that skeg out of. It called FRP.....fiberglass reinforced plastic. Good stuff. And yes, monkey glue hole to FRP....make strong like bull. GRRRRRR!!!!

Don't know that I should mention this on my blog, but my daughter in law got a big ol' tatoo right across her butt cheeks. If'n I were her "memah", I would take a hickory to her butterfly ass.

Ok....gonna see what I can get into today.......laters for sure

Sunday, September 4, 2011


Boy howdy, a brand spank'n new day. So far everything is go'n just like clockwork. No aches and pains, got a clear head, no spilt coffee grounds, sun shin'n....yup, it's gonna be a beautiful day.

I feel kinda bad after yesterdays post "whinn'n" bout the downside of get'n old. I thought about it all day yesterday to delete the whole mess and start over. But then I got to think'n (that nasty word again), my blog is my personal record of how I feel at that given time and what I didn't or did do that given day. I can go back and reflect, diagnose and look for ways to remedy or to change my lifestyle. It looks like a lifestyle change may be in order.

One comment yesterday was very inspirational to me in that my eyes were opened to the fact that I don't live alone. Well hell, I already knew that. But some comments hits at home. I'm not the only one having a rough go of it. I'm not the only one with his ass cheeks stuck to a chair wish'n to be active again. Thanks Mickey!!!

And then....along come HoboJoe. I think ya gonna like his blog and style. Give him a look see HoboRoad. Thumbs up!!!

Now....bout that damn "that jeep". Put the charger on there and in an hour took a spin round the park. Look the same it did the day before. Now why the hell was that brand spank'n new battery low? Sheesh, that why I change it in the first place. Oh....remember that water leak I were tell'n ya bout? Well maybe I fount it. Tighten a little hose clamp a full turn right over the top of where I see some water what had drip down. Did you know "that jeep" sound like a tractor? Damn that muffler is loud. Cherry bomb ya know. Sound like 4 Harley Davidsons com'n down the road.

With this cool weather upon us, I don't know what I gonna do with myself. Perfect day to launch the "bubba boat".....not really. The freak'n wind is blow'n up a storm....bout 8 mile a hour from the looks of the trees danc'n to an' fro. Caught me a big ol' native trout out a hole I named "danc'n sticks" up there in the north Georgia mountains.  Ya see, there was these old dead trees in the river what the river current make 'em dance. Lots of fish come out that hole. Big 'uns too.

Well I rekon I'll go outside and give that ol' chair a try this morn'n. Sip me up a cup and do some think'n.

Well shoot, whiles I were sit'n out there, I got me a delicious idea. Make something.....a project. Grab me up some old fiberglass stuff what I had lay'n round that I built my solar oven out of and I designed me up a "skeg" for the "bubba boat". Got it all cut out in 2 pieces so it be "strong like bull" and glue'n them together.....make 1 piece. Will monkey glue hole to fiberglass stuff??? Can't post any pics with the internet connection I got. Tried to post one yesterday and 10 minutes later I give up.  Maybe I'll try later. 

Well shoot....that didn't take long. Goes to show how much old Billy Bob know bout internet connections.
Man boy howdy is the wind ever blow'n now. Got little whirlybuggers come through my yard blow'n leaves everywheres. And I just rake them up a few days ago. Oh never mind, I just take a good look and they all gone....pooooof, just like that.

Bout lunch time now. Gonna make me up a great big ol' taquito....that pronouce tah-kee-toe. Now some people think of a taquito as a little finger size snack like what ya get at Walmart, but when old Billy Bob builds a taquito, it's a "fattie".....something like a burrito from Taco Bell. Hand full Jimmy Dean, couple slabs sausage and 2 extra large scrambled......Yum Boy howdy. A full meal deal....all roll up in a 8 inches tortilla. Almost fit in a 2 1/2 inch piece of PVC pipe.

Ok, so here I am again. Needed someone to talk to other than that dawg.
Some of ya might a been somewhat skeptical that old Billy Bob could build a sceg for the "bubba boat" on such short notice, but I want you lookie here.....project finished. Gonna go straight like a arrow cross that lake now......hunnert mile a hour. Put me some tires on there, pull right up on the beach. Don't be laugh'n bout them tires. Barney the OFM was tell'n me bout a cart to tote boats to the water. Well I already got it all plan out...."bubba boat" gonna have wheels. Ain't gonna be no 3 trips tote'n stuff. One trip get it all. Make it easy for an old man.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

A new dawning???

NO, No and no.

Ok, so I slept in this morn'n. Got lot's on my mind and no wheres to start. This day is all downhill, I can see right now. This ain't gonna be a good day. Oh yeah, it's beautiful outside, nice and cool sit'n inside, but when ya feel like you're world is clos'n in on ya, there is no beauty and there is no comfort.

Today Billy Bob ain't too happy. But the day has just begun....things have been known to change. Ya see, it's like this.....I was think'n last night. I've always been a thinker and a do'er of some sorts.....ya know. Think bout this, think bout that, do this, do that.....you know what I'm talk'n bout. But dag blame it....(that ain't the words I use to describe my situation), old Billy Bob is up against a wall...in a corner, with no way to turn. I've used up all my youth in the last 70 years and all I have left is my dying days to look forward to....what ain't what I had in mind. To sit back "do'n nuttin" ain't so bad when you're able to do stuff, but to sit back "do'n nuttin" when that's all you can do....now, that sucks.

What I'm get'n at here is the ago old "whinn'n" bout things I can't do no more. Take this trip for instance. It was planned to be a hair raising adventure, motorboat'n round in a hunnert mile a hour blow up speedboat on the lakes of Texas. Well yeah, here I am on my 4th Texas lake and ain't done a hunnert mile a hour yet. Almost sunk one time, but that was an unplanned experience. I've figger out that at 70 year old, ya ain't get'n no younger....ya gotta give up some them things you so dearly love to do. Or want to do. When there's no easy way to do it, ya got to either give it up and take up knitting or hurt yourself try'n to do it. Some choice HUH?

When I finally crawled out of bed this morning bout 8am, I knew I was in for a bad day. I had'a pee so bad I thought I were gonna blow up. At the same time I had one them leg cramps. Then spill coffee grounds all over the floor. Step in a sticker burr what Sadie brung in "da house". Jump in the shower.....holy shit, that water cold. That how I started my day. Any questions????

Well here it is noon already. Ain't done a thing. 102 degs outside. "Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob"??? I suppose I could take a ride around the park....see what all the other campers are do'n this Labor Day weekend. I know one thing, they sure are noisy and have no respect. Neighbors two doors over was still at it strong at midnight.....laugh'n and hee haw'n....kids run'n round scream'n top their lungs. At midnight, mind you. I swings open the door and holler top my lungs..."HEY, SHUT THE Fk UP". All was quiet....for bout 5 minutes. That was funny. Did I ever tell ya bout the time....I walk in a biker bar and yell them same words. Boy howdy, I never do that again.  Remember "tinker bell"??? Same bar. You crazy Billy Bob.

Now see, this is what I'm talk'n bout. The battery was down on the "that jeep". Won't start....jist go.....grrrrrr.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Out of wind

Yesterday I took a walk. I headed off across the street, through a neighbors yard, down the hill, across some rocks and to the edge of the lake. Found me a place to sit down on the shore and had a peaceful moment. That was down hill. The trip back up hill was a struggling experience. Upon arrival back at "da house" I was out of wind....didn't think I was gonna make it. Then last night I decided to go check out my boat launching area and throw a few lures at the birds. Well it was all down hill again, not too bad. But then I had to go back up that hill. My God, could hardly breath by the time I got back to "that jeep". Is hunnert mile a hour boating and big lunker fishing one more thing I have to give up? I ain't got much left ya know. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy camp'n out 2011 style, sit'n outside on "da porch", sip'n a cup and do'n a little think'n.

I had planned on taking the boat to the water this morning, chunk some fish'n lures, catch me up a big ol' bass... but holy cows, I feel like a wet rag. Lower back and hip is killing me this morning. Had I been more thoughtful when I was younger, I wouldn't be in the shape I'm in today. Did stuff no human being should be do'n. Pick'n up big ol' heavy stuff what weighed more than I did. Yes sir ree bob, I were Mr.Macho man what could lift anything. Now a 5# sack of sugar is a chore. Sheesh, wore that body slap out.

Let me tell ya boy howdy.....what a beautiful morn'n. "That's all I have to say bout that"...(GUMP).

Ok....."da porch" time....see ya in a bit.

3pm......Ok where that cool weather y'all was talk'n bout was gonna be here today? Holy crap, it's 108 degs out there again today. Sit'n in "da house" all afternoon ain't what I call hav'n fun. I did get some nice porch time this morning....bout an hour outside. Walked over to my neighbors house to let him know his house was on fire. Seen smoke com'n off his awning. When I got there, fount out it weren't nuttin but one them water spray doozies....supposed to make ya feel cooler.

Ain't nuttin excit'n go'n on here....and not likely to be, so I gonna crack open a book. See what them outlaws is do'n out there in the badlands.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Castaway dreams

Today's title comes from a dreamer. All my life I have had dreams, good dreams, wonderful dreams, exciting dreams. Now at a much older age, most of those dreams have fallen to the wayside , been fulfilled or were just plain too silly. But to take a perfectly wonderful dream, build on it, invest time, planning and $$$$, only to toss it out the window.....is insane.  Yes I'm talk'n bout that old grouchy Ben and his dream to go traveling in an RV.
Mistake Ben, big mistake. (open for discussion)
'To let a dream die, is to die inside'
'To kill a dream is murder'

Boy howdy what a beautiful morning. What more could ya ask for than to get up feel'n good, well rested after a hard day at the office, sun shin'n down on ya,  birds fly'n round, squills crawl'n in the trees.....yes, another beautiful day.

Had a guy ask me not long ago if I talk the same as I write. Well no I don't. I went to skool ya know. When I write, I use carefully picked words to match the way I was brung up to say them....the ways they sound. In a person to person conversation, I am very careful to pronounce each and every word to perfection....what would make any English scholar proud. Writing words the way I do takes lots of practice and a tremendous amount of research of Old English, backwoods sayings, a little redneck here and there, folk lore and everyday beer drink'n slurred conversation. "Bring me another beer honey".

Well I want you lookie here. I went out to take a look at "bubba boat" this morn'n and that sucker still full of air. Hot damn Billy Bob, you either good or lucky. That leak is fixed. Now all I gotta do is figger out how to get it in the water with out fall'n on my ass. It's all downhill ya know. Boat ramp seems the best spot. Bout 3 trips up and down that ramp load'n up all my necessary gear and I be ready to go catch me up some them fishes.

Ok...."da porch" time....sip' a cup ya know.

Damn it hot....107 degs. That why I took me up a big ol' nap. Was able to sit'n outside "do'n stuff" till almost noon....Sadie Mae was sit'n at the door huff'n an' pant'n "we go'n in yet"??

See I tole ya there was trees....and leaves all over the place.....
This is where "bubba boat" gonna ride down to the lake.

From Bob from Athens comment, maybe the old feller has helped me out. I done got to think'n bout where I gonna go next and after his comment, I gonna do some check'n out on that Lake Fork. Got to find me a campground right on the water ya know. Holy cows.....there lots of stuff to look at.
Post and come back.....thanks Bob.