Wednesday, March 31, 2010

And life goes on

Stayed up a bit late last night in an attempt to finish all the bulkheads and get it ready to start planking. Look'n good Billy Bob. You deserve a fresh cup of coffee and a sit on "da porch". Maybe eat some them pecans.

Woke up this morning to another beautiful day. Gonna get up to something like 80 degs. Ummmmm, boy howdy, can hardly wait. But you watch, something gonna happen. That old black cloud will show up when least expected.

I was expecting the hummers to show up by now, but ain't see one yet. We got some pyrrhuloxia (pronounced, pier-ru-lux-e-ah). For those that don't know, pyrrhuloxia is a cardinal with less red. Google it. Of course the curved bill thrashers are abundant, but it piss me off when people call the cactus wrens. There's a difference ya know,  even though they look similar. Same with the Mexican Ravens that people call a crow. Sheesh!!!

Speak'n of birds....yesterday as I proceeded  to make a left turn with a green light, this lady just kept right on through a red light aimed right at me. Of course she was on "da phone", not paying any mind that she might kill some old retired fart making a left turn with a green light, so I "tooted" her...one long blast. Ha, she give me one them looks and then, and then, I can't believe it, she give me the bird as she proceeded on through her red light, gums a flap'n.

Ok....porch time. Be sure to check back laters.

Well shoot, is it later yet?  Seem like every time I say later, the cops or something show up. Yep, trailer trash again. Something bout their kid not being in school or something like that. They didn't go round to all the tenants and tell us what go'n on.....darn it.
 Planking begins

This the way ya do it
Lifting all those heavy planks today made my back mighty sore 
I have a total of three rows of planking installed. That means I only have ten more rows to go. Then I can plank the flat bottom. What, about a month??? Nah, oughta be done in a few days. Then come the hard part, sanding, filling, sanding, filling, sanding, automotive sandable primer, sanding, more primer, steel wool and finally the first coat of paint. Damn, that made me tired typ'n all that stuff.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Building Permit

Well, here it is another day already and don't have the slightest what I gonna do. Weren't no ice sickle this morning so I rekon it gonna be a good day for sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n. And boy howdy, do old Billy Bob got some stuff to think bout.

Since I need to go back to "that store" (Walmart), I guess a list is in order. You know how it is when ya can't remember stuff, ya gotta write it down....otherwise, ya gonna be mak'n another trip.

Today sure would be a great day for golf ball swak'n. But today is "ladies day". Now let me tell ya bout ladies day. This is the day of the week when ladies turn into your worstest nightmare. These Deming ladies are serious when it comes to swak'n balls on "ladies day". They change in the twinkle of an eye. I mean, ya don't mess with an old lady with a big ole club in her hand.  Know what I mean Vern??? I ain't say'n that men can't swak golf balls on ladies day, they just have to stay clear, out of sight and shut up. They ain't gonna let ya play through and they "talk" for hours.

Just got back from Walmart with a whole bag full of glue and stuff. Ya know what??? Walmart sucks. Them damn prescription people got their head fogged up with some kind of smoke.....or something like that. Now I gots to go back to my doctor, what gonna raise hell with me for all the weight I lost and I'm sure he gonna say something bout me smok'n. That's why I don't keep my appointments..."Oh Billy Bob, them smokes gonna kill ya". Well Duh, bout when I'm 85 or so, yeah, I might swaller a cigar and choke to death.
Now what the hell was I talk'n bout???? Oh yeah...get brand spank'n new prescriptions.

8:00pm....don't be say'n old Billy Bob don't know what he do'n. After 2 hour sand'n off the "char" where the lasor cutter burn out all them pieces, I start put'n stuff together. Thank God for Mr. Leonard Lasor.
Now that what I'm talk'n bout.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Good day at "da house"

Hot damn it gonna be a good day at old Billy Bob's house. First thing I see this morning was dark, and then, and then, here come the sun shin'n in my eyes. Beautiful sunshine warm up an old cold body.

Ya do know it's still cold in Deming...right? Again this morning, it was below 30 degs. Although, this morning my ice sickle was a foot shorter than yesterday morning. That's a good sign that things are warming up. Speak'n of warm'n up, the rest of the week is gonna be in the upper 70's...right on the edge of 80. Boy howdy, can hardly wait. BUT.....ya ain't never gonna guess what the wind gonna do. Did I hear someone say "blow like hell"? Yep, you right....25 plus for the next 4 days....start'n Wednesday. God, I hate this place.

WOOOO HOOOO or what ever, my Mississippi Sternwheeler boat is at the post office. Now....you all know that I ordered it from some "flake" outfit just to save $100, but it has cost me $400 in mental anguish. Never do that again. Anyone know anything bout building a wooden ship??? I may need some help here.

Now that i have a reason to go downtown, I'll make up my Walmart list.....got to love Walmart. In the mean time I got to get ready...."Lug Nut, where my other shoe"?

Wow, what a ride. That jeep run'n like scared roadrunner.
Went to the post office and pick up my boat kit, drop by the Hughes Net guy bout another antenna dish, then go to my favorite store. Yep, you guessed it, Walmart. Drop off my empty drug bottles in the pharmacy and they say....."WAIT Mr Billy Bob. Your meds are over there in Yuma" That figgers. Every time I get them refilled, my prescriptions are transfered to where ever I'm at from where I ain't. And then they have to be transfered from where I ain't no more to where I'm at NOW. Just a phone call away.

Antenna guy come by with a brand spank'n new used dish. I look it over real good and I thinks it will work. At least it ain't all bent up like mine. Will know tomorrow morning after I change it out. GD thing better work. At $60 a month, I could have had a V-8.
Speak'n of V-8, I attempted to make me a home brew of that good tast'n healthy drink. LOLOLOLOL.....HAHAHAHAHA...ya don't even wanna hear bout it. Don't know why I brung it up in the first place. Probably just to be run'n off and say'n nuttin.

Gonna be eat'n supper on "da porch" since it still 76 degs @6:20 pm DST. Boy howdy!!! Can hardly wait.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Sheeh!!! Now what???

Do ya ever see the sun come up in the morning? I do. Ya see, I don't close my curtain thingys 'cause I don't do drugs. Why did Jimmy crack corn?

Last night we was lay'n on the couch watch'n Cops and Sadie Mae look me in the eye and say "I don't wanna go". I told her bout all the fun we was gonna have catch'n fish, golf'n and stuff and all she say was "I don't like fish, and I don't like camp'n".
Hold on....phone call

Ok, here's the deal. Two hours to pull the front drive line in "that jeep". Boy howdy, who tighten them bolts. Took a little road trip down the highway 80 mile a hour to check for vibration. Yep, it still there. Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob?? Then I check the transmission fluid. Too much. Now how the hell I gonna get some out??? Then, the battery was low. Sheesh, who the hell put these connections on like that. Loose and crudded up. Then I took the little red Bronco II for a run up the dirt road. Decided to turn left and get on the golf cart track. Put it to the floor and send dust, dirt and mesquite bushes fly'n. Then I knock my mirror off on that tree right over there. What a ride.

Did I mention the little video OGT put on his blog??? You would think a grown educated man would find better things to do, but ya gotta see it. Right here.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Undecided mind

Well, from the title of this post, you must be wondering what old Billy Bob is up to today. It has everything to do with the rights of a full fledged American citizen. In other words, I'm exercising my first amendment right to "change my mind". Oh wait, is that a first amendment right? Well, I don't give a rat's if it is or not, but I have changed my mind again.

That jeep what I was gonna park is going to Georgia with me and my little red Bronco II is gonna sit right where it are. Here what I gonna do and why. The vibration in the front end is caused by a bad pinion bearing in the front rear end....don't know what else to call it. So I'm gonna remove the front drive shaft what will make it a two wheel drive instead of four wheel drive. I have to mechanically inclined boys in Georgia that will help my make all the repairs needed to make "that jeep" into what it was intended to be....a stock 4x4 Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited.

Oh, while I'm think'n bout it.....why don't people understand rednecks??? Some people think of rednecks as rebels, southerners, backwood country folk, uneducated, beer guzzl'n drunks, junk collectors, radicals and numerous other names. But it ain't so. It take a lot of work to be a real redneck....and skool'n to boot. They have a language of their own what most people cain't comprehend. They spell words like they sposed to sound.

Rednecks spend more money on cars than them middle class rich folks do. When a redneck buy an old 1965 Ford pick up truck, he keeps it....for spare parts and stuff. They lose the trade in value. The reason ya see 'em sit'n on blocks in the back yard is 'cause them wheels and tires is gonna fit the new 1968 Ford pick up truck. In bout a year of so, and a couple hunert mile, they in the market for another new Ford pick up truck. Rednecks don't buy brand spank'n new pick up trucks 'cause they know old is better. And ya don't have to wash 'em.

Boy howdy is the wind blow'n today. I were gonna go outside, sit on "da porch" sip'n a cup and do some think'n, but damn.....it blow'n 30 mph and gust'n to a hunert.....or something like that.

One last thing for the day....did I mention the wind was blow'n??? Well, let me tell ya bout some wind. Since this morn'n, it has really cranked up. Cord'n to the weather guys, it were 37 mph with 60+ mph gusts  in town where the trees and stuff knock it down a bit. They done closed down all the major highways, I-10 and Silver City highway where old Billy Bob is at. "Da porch" has almost a 1/4 inch sand on it and it not much better in "Sally da house". Sheesh, If'n I ever come back to Deming again, I hope it snows for a week.

Skint me up two then rainbow trough and throw "em in a skillet with some onion, a can of diced maters and my special trout seasons. Didn't remember what they were, so I improvised. Hot damn, it were gooood.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Yesterday is gone

Well, yesterday was fun, but yesterday is gone. All the silly comments amused me, but I have some concerns with one of the commenter's. Ya ain't go'n with me, shaved legs or not. And to the nice little lady, so sorry you don't meet the most important qualifications.

For today, I'll attempt to find some other nonsense to write about, but in the mean time, it's serious all the way....important stuff.

Old pesky neighbor Wayne come over this morn'n with a pocket full on food. Yeah, he carries food in his pockets. Anyhows, we gonna go swak some golf balls here in a bit. Been a week ya know.
Will return later with details of this most important activity that consumes the better part of my day. Gonna swak that ball a mile.

Boy howdy I'm gonna tell ya right now, that old Billy Bob know something bout swak'n golf balls. It weren't my best game, but it sure were a long ways from being my worst game.  On a par 5, I hit that ball so hard it were on the green. Only it weren't the right green....it were that one over there. Took out a 5 wood and swak that sucker so hard it make my shimmie's shimmy....right round them trees what was right in front me, end'n up in the middle of the fareway...right where is sposed to be. Wonderful day of golf.

Oh boy, the trailer trash people have started more crap. One has video cameras pointed at other sites recording any activity. I would think that would be considered invasion of privacy, but what the hell does old Billy Bob know. And then, after a great game of golf, I come back to a conflict about my harmless little dogs run'n loose. As this is private property and the owner has given his permission for them to have "open range" of the place.....what the hell does old Billy Bob know. As this saga continues, you will be informed of any new occurrences.

Now that I have had a nice hot cup of soup and a Spam and cheese sandwich, I think it's time for a little nappie poo. When I wake up I'll be all grumpy and stuff and if anyone want some trouble.....well, what can I say?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Just think'n

I just been read'n some blogs of fellow rv'ers and it makes me sick. No, I don't mean sick to my stomach, just sick that "they" are doing and seeing places I just drive on by without even a thought of stopping. But there's a reason for that. I'm alone, by myself, no one loves me and my tight schedule don't allow for such carry'n on's. Yes, I'm freak'n jealous.

So, I'm advertising for an experienced running mate.  
Applicant must meet the following requirements:
A. have no baggage other than 1 small suitcase....no boyfriends please
B. have a current class A to Z driver license for grocery runs to Walmart, Subway and Pizza Hut
C. applicant would be in the age range of 35 to 90 with no emotional handicaps such as "cuddle", "endless talking", "oh, I have a headache", "I want", "I need", "you don't appreciate me", "can I drive"........and so on.
D. Must be nice to Lug Nut and Sadie Mae
E. Must be nice to Billy Bob
F. have skills in the operation of power tools, such as, vacuum cleaners, carpet shampooers, table saws, hydraulic jacks and impact wrenches and know the difference between "lefty loosey, righty tighty"
G. physically able to make long walks...to the dumpster and laundry room
H. have some kind of cooking skills other than hard boiled eggs,  hamburgers and Campbells soup
I. Must be able to make a mean cup of coffee
J. window washing is a big plus

Ya think I'm kid'n don't ya? Well, I'm as serious as a tad pole what knows he gonna be a beautiful frog someday. This old crap of travel'n all over the country all by myself....SUCKS

Ok, get'n back to reality...all pipe dreams left behind. It's so beautiful outside, I may spend most the day sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup and do'n some think'n. Boy howdy do I have some think'n to do. I got a gazillion things to do and so little time to do them. 

Here what I'm talk'n bout.......
A. Register the little red Bronco II in New Mexico
B 1/2. Driver license...New Mexico or Texas 
B. Income taxes...file or not file
C. Fix a whole bunch of stuff
D. Lug Nut....fix or not fix
and then, and then.....go to Terlingua, and then to Port Aransas, and then to Houston, and then to Atlanta, and then to north Ga mountains, and then to St. Louis, and then.....probably back to Deming. And I have only 3 weeks to think this stuff out.

Rode that bicycle yesterday around the park. Boy howdy Billy Bob.....you get'n old. First off, the shifter don't work. Ran over Sadie Mae...stupit dog. The I hit some sand and ya know ya can't ride a bike in sand. By the time I got back to "da house", I was wore slap out and it was dark.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

What a beautiful day...

Oh crap, what to do now. Today has been one them days where all ya wanna do is sleep and get it over with.
The wind was howl'n like a bunch of starving dogs and the sky was filled with a heavy blanket of clouds....and it was cold. Not so cold that you would bundle up in long johns and a big winter coat, but cold enough for old Billy Bob to stay inside and be bored. How bout 60 degs, 20 mph winds and not even a touch of warming sunshine??? That's what I'm talk'n bout!!!!

The second thing that happen today is that my Mississippi River Sternwheeler weren't in the mailbox. Now how can that be...HUH???? The guy I ordered it from "promised" me it would be here no later than last Saturday. After numerous unanswered phone calls and emails, I'm get'n a bit concerned here. You don't rekon do ya??? Boy howdy, I'll never order anything from them again.

Sadie took another dump in my neighbors yard again this morning. Well, actually it ain't his yard, it's mine. Ya see, when I installed the fence round my lot, I didn't install it on the property line. I left enough space to drive a golf cart through with out going into the other lot. And since I don't mind dog poop in my yard, why would my neighbor mind??? Freak'n trouble makers make me sick.

The last thing I have to sat for today is.....bla, bla, bla.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Welcome to America

Holy Crap, did you see what Obama say? "This is what change looks like". Think about that for a minute.

The passing of this bill has nothing to do with medical costs, health care for 30 million uninsured, and on and on and on. It was nothing more than a "game" of who has the POWER, who can manipulate, bribe and  threaten, bend and fabricate rules....and on and on and on.
If you watched this debate on TV, you missed 90% of what was actually happening. Reading the news is where it's at. The comments section is where it's at. The dirty deals, corruption and underhanded passing of this bill has turned neighbor against neighbor from day one. It has brought the "sleezies" out of the closet. Name calling, threats...and on and on and on.
Yes "this is what change looks like" for the American 'We the People'.

Boy howdy, that old Billy Bob is all upset. Not with the passing of this controversial health bill, but with the manner in which it was accomplished. I don't want to sound one sided on this issue, but I am. Just like everyone else is one sided. There is no two sided to any issue. Grrrrrrrr!!!!

Yesterday old Billy Bob weren't feel'n too good. Not because of the above, but I COULD use that as an excuse....makes me plumb sick...but I think I have too much piled on my next 4 months plans. What plans ya say???

Here's the deal. My son what has been over in Afghanistan is coming home to Georgia the end of May. The annual family North Georgia Labor Day Camping Trip....that where old Billy Bob catches all them rainbow trout...is just a short 8 weeks away...or something like that. In order for me to be there in time for the camping trip, that means I have to leave here a month early and I have a gazillion things to do and decisions to be made. 

One decision and probably the most important is what to do with this damn "that jeep". Should I spend another $1500 on it or just park the damn thing and put my little red Bronco II back on the road? To do that, I will have to register it in New Mexico and insure it in New Mexico. But that causes another problem. I want to leave New Mexico and find a homebase in Texas. And that causes another problem. Where in Texas????

I will be limited to the amount of time I can spend at each stop on the way to Ga. The first stop being Terlingua, Texas. That where I gonna shoot my guns, but ya can only shoot so many time in a week and still have time to visit. Then it's off to Port Aransas for a week on "da beach", pay some bills and visit old girlfriends. Oh, and don't forget to get an inspection sticker on "Sally da house". And a driver license. Then it's off to Houston Texas to visit daughter and family...swak some golf balls and fight the skeeters for a week. Never see so many skeeters as at the Steven F. Austin State Park. They eat ya up like pork chops. Then off to Shreveport...maybe play the slots and swak a golf ball. Get on I-20 and head 'em up to Ga. Can I do all that and still get there in time??? Hell, I don't know.

LOLOLOL....been holler'n out the door..."LUG NUT...INSIDE", but no Lug Nut. Must be at the Mexican Bar down the street. Then I look on the bed...there lay Lug Nut say'n "you talk'n to me"??? Crazy dog!!! Just like a cat.

Ok...got things to do....may come back...or not.

Since I'm on here making a correction I may as well tell ya what I been doing. Fixed that piece of trim on the bedroom slide out what was about to fall off. Backed the little red Bronco II up to the porch and started cleaning it out. Put a brand spank'n new "slime" tube in that bicycle with the flat tire. Ate 3 boiled eggs and now I'm get'n sleepy.

Saturday, March 20, 2010


What the hell you talk'n bout Spring??? After that blow we had yestyerday, I were think'n it was hurricane season already. Then when I got up this morning, I were think'n it was winter season. I don't git it...I just don't git it. Interstates closed down in north New Mexico due to "snow". And I hear tell, there's another front right behind this one.

Watched the weather channel last night and that weather guy said that the wind gusts in Deming was 54 mph. For Deming, that's just a breeze. Have ya ever been to Deming when the wind didn't blow???I have no confidence in what they say. I know it were 80 plus mph.

Big chore for the day was to clean my coffee maker. Broke out a quart of vinigar and let 'er rip. Well shoot, vini-grrrrrr don't work. Where can I buy some sulfuric acid??? Bet ya a buck that would clean it.

Ya know what??? A very important person is missing from the blog scene. Have ya seen her????

Friday, March 19, 2010

Confus'n the troops

Hee hee hee....last night I got to think'n, "ya gots to post something to confuse the troops". I got an email someone was get'n bored with my blog and wanted me to send air fare to Louisiana. I try my derndest to confuse ya with every post but here lately, my mind ain't work'n right and I been post'n just everyday "nuttin" stuff what I rekon is pretty boring. May have something to do with old Billy Bob being bored with "nuttin to do".

Boy howdy is it a beautiful day or what? I seen that sun come up this morning and I says to myself..."this is it...a beautiful day is on the horizon". Of course it were shin'n in my eyes here at the computer. Now I'm not say'n yesterday weren't a beautiful day 'cause it was. I mean it were sooo beautiful, me and pesky neighbor Wayne went to the Country Club and swak'ed us some golf balls. All over the place.

Now let me tell ya bout swak'n golf balls. It been 4 months since old Billy Bob put his bare feet on a golf course, so I weren't expect'n a good game. But I weren't expect'n a bad game either. At least not THAT bad. I done hit 3 brand spank'n new balls in the water on # 7 what put me 5 over par....on that hole. It ain't that I don't know how to swak a golf ball, it were just that the golf balls were thirsty.....or something like that. I were try'n my derndest to stay under 100...what is a girl score. Nope...103. Never gonna play again...sheesh!!!

Don't know what wrong my dogs. All they wanna do is lay round and sleep. You would think out here in the middle of nowhere...and free to run, they would do something. They ain't bird dogs 'cause the birds ain't skeered of them. They must be rabbit dogs, but there ain't no rabbits.....coyotes must'a 'et 'em. They won't chase a ball and Lug Nut eats the sticks I throw. Crazy dogs!!!

Speak'n of dogs.....one them "trailer trash" come down by my ranch this morning wear'n a orange tee shirt and orange shorts....what the hell. Anyhows, Lug Nut get ruffled up and were tell'n him to "git off my land". He don't belong down here. Then here he comes back later in his little red Chevette.....gun'n that little 4 banger engine and tried to run down Lug Nut. Now for the rest of the story.... Can old Billy Bob go to jail for cuss'n his ass out with .357 in hand???

Ok...I got things to do.....laters

Laters....."Holy crap Billy Bob, look what ya done went and done". I hook up that little trailer full of dumpster stuff to the golf cart and head off into the wind to empty it. Boy howdy....it were blow'n bout 15 mph but then all hell break loose....70 mph gust'n to 180. I been in worse winds than this when I lived on the boat.....500 mph winds.

But anyhows.......

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Coyotes ate 'em

When ya lose followers it like losing your favorite pet..... out in the middle of nowhere.... full of hungry coyotes....and other critters. Know what I mean....HUH????

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Busy Day

Boy howdy, let me tell ya. Old Billy Bob been bust'n butt today. Got so busy he done forgot to eat. I rekon that first pot of "mud" coffee I made this morning had something to do with it. Think I put two scoops instead of one. But you talk bout an eye opener. I mean to tell ya, that other eye come open real quick like. I like my coffee strong, but Holy Cows that stuff make your hair stand up all way down to your toes.

Got all enthused this morning and done up all the dishes and took out the trash. Old  pesky neighbor Wayne come over ask'n if'n I was feel'n alright. Then I headed off to Walmart for a loaf of bread. LOLOLOL...hahahaha...$132 for a loaf of bread??? Gonna be some fine eat'n at Billy Bob's house for the next couple weeks. Had'a take 20 of them rainbow trout over to Wayne's freezer so I would have room for all the other stuff I just bought. "Walmart loves ya Billy Bob". Speak'n of Walmart, does anyone know where they moved the shoe department? Look all over and couldn't find it. But I suppose I could'a ask.  Lolololol...hahahaha...a man ask? Ya got to be kid'n???  Ain't no way a man gonna ask directions.

After all groceries were put in their proper places, I went outside to sit on the porch, sip a cup and do some think'n. Got to think'n maybe I could pick up some this junk on the floor.....what I did. Then I started mov'n stuff around, throwed stuff in the trash, hosed down "da porch", pick up some stuff lay'n in the yard and called it quits for the day. And a good day it was.

Get'n all ex-citis bout that boat I gonna build. This gonna be my first wooden ship model I ever build in my life. I built some them plastic ship models...ie "Cutty Sark" two times...ten years apart. Look just like this one...sails and all.

While I was off to town today, I stopped by the Hughes Net satellite gut who was gonna bring me a brand spank'n new dish to replace the bent one he brought me the other day. He done forget. But, I put my old one back up and it's work'n pretty good...considering. Still not right, but working.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Ok....so what if the sun is shin'n??? Does that mean I can go outside and sit on "da porch" sip'n a cup? That's the plan, but it's gonna be a while since it's still 34 degs out there. This is it....winter is over. Yee Haa!!!

Old pesky neighbor Wayne come over this morning complain'n bout some freak'n bird. Seems one of the "trailer trash" is going to California and needed to get rid of a bird. Wayne was quick to jump on it and took that sucker home...right now. Now I gonna have to listen to has rant'n and rav'n bout how hard it is to take care of a bird....sheesh!!! I'll let the sucker loose...that what I would do.

Wouldn't ya know it....remember all the problems I have with "that jeep"??? Well NOW there is a terrible vibration in the front end. Climbed up under there "take a look" and...yep....that would cause a vibration. Front pinion bearing got to be replaced. Now...if'n I replace the pinion bearing, take the lift kit off and replace them big ass tires, that gonna cost me right at $1500. That would make "that jeep" worth over $5000 with a resale value of $2800. What a deal. Time to put my "little red Bronco II" back on the road and park "that jeep".

As you know, old Billy Bob ain't get'n round like he used to do. Seems like every day something new pops up and mess up all my plans. My heart is work'n just fine, but damn....I can't breath worth a crap. Just that long walk (15 feet) to the porch wears me slap out...gotta sit down and take a "breather". Sip some coffee and do some think'n.

Speak'n of think'n...did ya know that ya can't do good think'n when you're cooped up in a motorhome? There's something bout sit'n outside (on da porch sip'n a cup) that makes the mind do wonders. I got me some think'n to do so's I better get my shoes on and go outside...."Lug Nut", where my other shoe"??

Speak'n of shoes....did ya know that old Billy Bob ain't wore shoes in a year and a half??? Ya see, it's like this...shoes hurt my feet. I got this big ole Arthur-itis thingy on my big toe and when I put it in a shoe....Boy howdy does it hurt.
Shoe update....I got a pair of steel toe shoes from when I worked at The University of Texas what ain't never been wore. Gonna give them a try today and see what happen. Red Wings.

Notice....  Out of common courtesy, please do not use old Billy Bob's blog to post links to nonsense in the comments section.  If you don't have a comment........thanks for dropping by.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Another miserable day

Boy howdy, when it rains, it pours. Got up this morning to some the biggest clouds ya ever see in your life. It was cold....then it started rain'n....then it started snow'n up in the mountains....then the sun come out, what made the wind start blow'n. So take a random guess where old Billy Bob been all day. You're probably right if'n ya guessed "inside".

There is absolutely nothing to write about today, so I may just leave it at this....but ya never know what I gonna do.

That $100 savings I was tell'n ya bout that I thought was gonna cost me $225....well, I call the guy and he said...."your order will be shipped out Wednesday and you should get it by Saturday or Monday" Now that sounds like "good news" to me, but....could he have been lying???

Boy howdy that sunshine sure did a number on the snow over there on the mountains....all gone...pooof, just like that. Gonna have to run a faucet tonight so's my freak'n water line don't freeze up again. This sucks!!!

Out of common courtesy, please do not use old Billy Bob's blog to post links to nonsense in the comments section.  If you don't have a comment........thanks for dropping by.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Happy sunshine day

Holy crap....who been mess with my clock??? Oh yeah, it's daylight savings time. Now where ya get the idea that we saving time??? It seems to me that all this crap does is mess up my sleep'n time. Although I do like to still see daylight at 8 pm. The way I see it, there is only so much daylight in a given day no matter what time it is. Sunset could be at noon and it still wouldn't matter....the sun gonna still shine 12 hours plus a day.

Let me tell ya bout a rabbit hunt'n dog.  It seems that somehow a rabbit got hisself stranded in the fenced in yard at Billy Bobs house. Well Lug Nut see him and just like that, run that rabbit in a 4 inch pvc pipe where he ain't gonna never come out.

That piece of pipe come from another encounter with a rabbit last year when Lug Nut drug that sucker to "da house" from way over there....bout 50 yards or so. This time Lug Nut drug it all over the yard, up under "da porch", knock over my flat tire bicycle and never gave up for a second. After a couple hours I decided that that poor little rabbit had had enough of this abuse. I shook him out that pipe into the cactus garden. He stood there try'n to figger out where he was and then he see Lug Nut....pooooof, he were gone....just like that. I could'a eat that rabbit.

I know I ain't the first, but I got to admit....I think I done been scammed. Remember that $100 I were gonna save??? Well it look like I gonna be "out" $225....including shipping and handling. "Damn Billy Bob, sometime you so stupit".

Tom, the satellite guy, brung me a brand spank'n new dish yesterday. Didn't cost me nuttin. So, after while, I gonna replace this one what been blowed over a couple time with this brand spank'n new one.
Speed test: Before change 39KB per sec.download....28.6 KB per sec. upload.
                  After change.....now this really sucks....23KB down....24KB up

Now what the hell ya gonna do Billy Bob???? It does absolutely no good at all to call customer service. They all in India and don't speak good English....but even if they did, it still does no good at all to call customer service. So.....old Billy Bob gonna do a bit of advertiz'n for Hughes Net Satellite Internet....if'n you're think'n bout it....DON'T DO IT. $$$$$ a month for dial up speed ain't worth the effort. It's a rip off. Their internet service sucks. By cracky I feel much better now. But old Billy Bob is still pissed.

Ah ha, old Billy Bob go outside and take a look see that brand spank'n new satellite dish. Here the deal....that sucker is bent...right there where it ain't sposed to be. Ya rekon that why the satellite guy "gave" it to me for free??? Bet ya a dollar I take it back to him tomorrow morning on my way to get a loaf of bread from Walmart.


Friday, March 12, 2010


Did I ever tell ya bout the time.......it were back in 47' when I lived on a farm up there in Missouri. I had me a little red wagon what was my "pick'em up", an 18 wheeler, a farm tractor, and live animal carrier. Went down to the creek one day and started pick'n up all my turtles to take back to the house. Had a whole load of them. I was turn'n them loose in the front yard when here comes "moms" shak'n her head at such a sight. Then she sat me down for my first lesson on "family". Each one of them turtles was someones mom, pop, sister or brother....and I had done took them away from their relatives. Since that day, I have never removed a critter from where I found him....or if I do, it's for their protection against the wildest critters ever invented...humans.
That's all I have to say bout that......Gump!!!

Turned out to be a really nice day. Sunshine, no wind and 68 degs. Perfect weather for sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n. And that what I did.

Old Billy Bob went look'n at them riverboats again yesterday and I want you lookie here, fount the same boat for $100 less. Now that's a deal. Put me some change in my debit account...now gonna order my boat. Then I got to figger out how to install remote control in it. Boy howdy...can hardly wait. Bet ya a dollar it gonna cost a grand fore I finish.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Trailer Park News

Have ya ever see a dog "stomp" on something with his two front feet. Well that the way Lug Nut wake me up every morning. The more I growl at him the harder he stomps. It's really funny...you would have to see it to get the drift on what I'm say'n. Well....this morning I pull a trick on him. He was sound asleep and old Billy Bob did some stomp'n on him. Boy howdy was he pissed.

Trailer trash news. Seems that since her boyfriend is in jail, his friend wants to move in with her. Sheesh!!! Other "trailer trash" news. His brother is pissed at her for the law do'n their job of put'n him in jail where he belongs. Sheesh!!!

Have ya ever see a dog eat pecans??? Well I got one...Sadie Mae. Old pesky neighbor Wayne gave my a sack of pecans and she eats them....crack that shell right open and gobble the goodies. Of course she eats half the shell too.

UPS brung me my mail today...all 9 pounds of it. Holy crap!!! That's 4 months worth of mail in one box.

Today should be the last day of wind and winter in Deming. At least that's what I'm hoping for. I been back 6 days and all 6 days have sucked. I wanna play golf. And sit on the porch sip'n a cup. But...I can't really complain as the last 6 days were the only experience I've had of cold in the last 4 months. 30 degs again this morning....and windy all day long.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Build'n stuff

Well I gonna tell ya right now.....I build stuff. Been do'n it for years. In fact, I remember the time I built a Volkswagon Bug out of sand....on "da beach" of course. Built a bass boat out of an old refrigerator....complete with a 3hp gasoline "kicker" outboard motor. (did I mention it sunk in a snake infested pond???) Then there was my pneumatic spud gun...boy howdy.

Today has been absolutely terrible. The wind is blow'n 30mph and it's cold (50 deg). When I got out from under the covers this morning, I thought it was the middle of winter (28 degs). Stayed inside all day think'n and measuring places for my brand spank'n new Mississippi Riverboat. But we ain't gonna be talk'n bout no boat until I get the kit ordered.

Boy howdy, who rented rv spaces to these damn young'un's??? This park is designed for "old folks". Cops been out here three times in the last week. Got one boy what wears silver fangs, a leather vest and leather jacket and carries a gun. He the one what went to jail last night....something bout domestic violence....beat hell out his girlfriend. Of course she didn't want to press charges. Sheesh!!!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Changed your what???

"What we have here is a failure to communicase". Let me splane what I'm talk'n bout. You know that I'm retired and get'n on the old side...if''n ya know what I mean. But it's like this, being retired and get'n old gives me privileges, others ain't entitled to, to make alterations to my decisions in any way I find acceptable for my lifestyle. In other words....change my mind. And that's exactly what I gonna do. Or....I think that what I gonna do.

So...here's the deal. Ya remember that riverboat I were gonna build??? After look'n for a place to put it, I decided it won't fit. So here's the solution. Find a smaller one....what I did.
 What ya think??? It's only 29 inches long where the other one was 44 inches long. Can't have everything I rekon.

Boy howdy let me tell ya....it were freez'n cold this morning. The bird and rabbit water done froze over. I were cold with my little 1500 watt electric heater go'n full blast. With that thing crank'n for bout 20 hour a day old Billy Bob gonna be in the poor house before it gets warm. "Should'a stay in Yuma Billy Bob".

Look like it gonna be a nice day...if'n the wind don't blow like it did yesterday. It was terrible I tell ya....35mph with gusts up to 50. Stuff blowed everywhere. But...this is Deming where a breeze is 25mph.

Boy howdy...lookie here what old Billy Bob found.
 What ya think.....huh, huh???

Monday, March 8, 2010

Holy Crap....it's cold

Boy howdy let me tell ya.....I could be back in Yuma at "da pond" catch'n fish. It's cold in Deming. When I finally rolled out of bed this morning...not because I wanted to, but that damn dog Lug Nut was jump'n all over the place want'n out. It was 50 degs inside...whooeeee...goose bumps. Outside was 34 degs and cloudy. I'm not excited at all bout being back in Deming. This sucks.

I got all the laundry done and thrash out yesterday....what was more than I had expected to do. Today I'll more than likely break out the vacuum and suck up some of this sand from the last 4 months. A womans work is never done.

Back to the ship building business. After much consideration, I had decided to build an old timey Mississippi riverboat. Found a few kits on the internet within my price range, but the damn things are too big. Where the hell ya gonna put a 44" sternwheeler in a motorhome??? I can't put it on the dash 'cause then I couldn't see where the hell I go'n. I could put it where the airplane is, but where I gonna put the airplane.....sheesh!!!
Back to the draw'n board Billy Bob.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Homebase Deming

Boy howdy, this is cool. I'm back in Deming, the land of "do'n nuttin". I were think'n bout all the work I was gonna have to do when I got back, but hell, things are look'n up. The yard I thought was gonna have to be plowed and grass replanted is clean as a whistle....other than a few tumble weeds what climbed over the fence. "Da porch look the same as when I left it 4 months ago, so ain't got nuttin the do there. Got a few weeds growed up in the cactus garden, but they kind of look cute out there, so no weed'n necessary. "So, what the hell ya gonna do Billy Bob"??? I rekon, for a few days, I'm gonna sit back and "do nuttin".

I been look'n for a new hobby, or better yet, something to build. I got to think'n while I was at the pond....when the fish weren't bit'n, sure would be nice to have a little remote control boat to play with. Well, first I thought about a tug boat. Then I thought bout a sail boat. Then after spend'n hours on the internat, I figgered out what I really need is a big ol' Mississippi riverboat. What ya think????

I were plan'n on go'n to the golf course today and swak a few balls but it's rain'n in Deming. Well, just a little bit. Plus....it would take hours to get to my golf bag under all them dirty clothes and stuff on the floor. So I rekon today will be something like yesterday....lay back and "do nuttin".

Old pesky neighbor Wayne is gonna grill up some ribs today....at least that what he say. One thing Wayne can cook is ribs. Boy howdy, let me tell ya.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Back in Deming

blaa...blaa....blaa....here I are.

After leaving the Fortuna Pond in Yuma Arizona two days ago, the place where I were catch'n all them fish using Power Bait from Walmart for bout $3.36 a jar, I am back in Deming where there is still traces of snow on the Florida mountains...pronounced Flo-ree-duh...for flower.

Thought I were gonna freeze to death last night at the Arizona Texas Canyun rest area just a scant 20 mile from Benson, Arizona on Interstate 10. Why it's called Texas Canyun I have no idea since Texas is in Texas. But anyhows....I slept on the couch last night so's I could see all the big rigs pull in and listen to them run their freak'n engines all night long. Had to crank up the Mr Heater on high speed a couple times 'cause I were cold. Still skeered to have it on while I'm sleep'n, even though I had a window cracked 4 inches. Was a chilly 36 degs when I got up to make coffee....coldest I been in 4 months.

Old pesky neighbor Wayne come out weren't 2 minutes after I pulled in....great big grin on his face....like he done licked a cats butt....or something like that. Backed "Sally da house" in her spot first try....will wonders never cease? Got everything all hook up and cook'n with gas. Had a nice sit on "da porch" with a fresh cup o'. Boy howdy, did I ever miss "da porch". Damn, it's windy out here....and only 64 degs.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Hold on a cotton pick'n minute

Thought I may as well make an update before the sun goes down. Ain't go nuttin to say other than I'm almost packed up and the dishes are done.

Kilt four more fish today. Switched over to single smashed down barb hooks and the damn things still can't swim. Been try'n to hook'em in the lip, but they just swaller the whole thing. Grrrrrrr...tired of clean'n fish.

Should pack out of here bout 10am tomorrow....so I gonna be offline for a couple days. This may be my last post till Sat night or Sun morning.

Now it's dark!!!! By the way....I caught me up two more real nice 5# rainbow trout. Well, maybe not quite 5 pounds, but they felt like it. Now all I gotta do is clean them and put them in the freezer. Sheesh....where????

Everything is put away cept'n for my fish'n stuff and the satellite system. Hook up "that jeep" and be out of here in nuttin flat. Had trouble bringing in the 'slide out', but finally got it in....was worried. Sure would hate to go down the Interstate with my slide stick'n out. Holy cows!!! 

Speak'n of a slide out being out....I left Van Horn Texas bout 4 year ago. I drove through the check in place and the owner of the park was wav'n me a farewell....I mean wav'n...both arms. Well 30 mile down the Interstate I noticed something stick'n out on the passenger side. It were my bedroom slide out. Ya rekon that why that guy was a wav'n his arms???

That's all folks..... 

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Ain't gonna be long

Boy howdy...where the post I thought I did this morning? Ya don't rekon I forget do ya???

Anyhows....come bout Saturday, old Billy Bob gonna be back to civilization. I figger I'll be pull out of here Thursday and take a couple days to get back to Deming. Then I gonna be do'n stuff...like swak'n golf balls. And mak'n stuff. Give pesky neighbor Wayne hell just like I did before I left in Nov.

Well....it got to the point I ain't gonna be clean'n no more fish. Ain't say'n I ain't gonna fish...just gonna release them. That is if they survive me get'n the hook out them. Some them critters swallow that hook all the way to their tail and it take a jack hammer to get it out.

Got so many fish in the freezer I had to duct tape it closed. Think I got 32 in there now. Now...if'n I was catch'n the limit every day, I would only have 20 in there...but the fisherman old Billy Bob is....you know the rest the story. Yesterday caught 9.....today...caught 6 and throwed 3 back....alive. Skint 4 for supper tonight, but only ate 2. Maybe a fish sandwich for lunch tomorrow.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Four days and counting...fish that is

Boy howdy, only 4 more days and the BLM officials will be com'n round with a "paddy" wagon to take old Billy Bob away. To jail most likely. For those that don't understand or have no idea what BLM is, you can camp on the public lands (BLM) for a total of 14 days before they kick ya out. And the BLM guy is a big feller with a face full of whiskers and carries a big ole pistola....and handcuffs. But....old Billy Bob got a plan up his sleeve. Take the license plate off'n the jeep and put in on "da house". What ya think???? Two more weeks free camp'n and fish'n???

Speak'n of fish'n....game sheriff come by today..."just check'n licenses, how many fish ya got in da sack". Well I had 3...one a nice one. Soon as he left, I had 4 in da sack....what is the limit...so's I took them inside, cut off their heads.....yank the guts out them...and put them in the freezer. Then I went back outside and catched me 5 more....just like that.

What I got to do now is repackage all the fish what still has tails. With tails, they don't fit the baggies for quantity storage. So...gonna cut the tails off 22 fishes...what I don't eat no how.

Sure hope it's warm when I get to Deming. Gonna have to get back before long anyhows. My debit card done expired on me and I have only enough cash for 100 gallon of gas...what is more than I need. Tried talk'n to pesky neighbor Wayne this morning, but damn....cell signal went out. Oh well, I should be back to Deming in a week...or so.

There was something I were gonna say, but don't remember what it was.