Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Cold fronts suck

Ok, let's talk bout something this morn'n. Barnacle Bill??? No we ain't gonna be talk'n bout that old sailor feller. Although, I have some pretty good stories to tell bout that guy. Remember that "jet powered" BBQ pit he builded? Or how bout them 500 mile a hours winds an' the old Barnacle Bill out on deck almost neekid ty'n stuff down? Boy howdy, them were some excit'n times.

Now bout yesterday an' my "don't give a shit" attitude. Have ya ever been abandoned on the side the road? Left to fend for yourself in a tsunami with hunnert mile a hour winds....an' yer wheelchair has got a flat tire? That's what it feels like anyhows. But, I will live through these troubling times like they never happen.  I need me some Advil, that's what I need....Advil. Enough said bout that.

Well, it looks like a freez'n cold new years day here in south Texas. Highs in the mid 40"s??? Yikes.....this sucks.

I was sit'n here last night an' I got to think'n.....bout fish'n an' that "bubba boat". It's been quite some time since I had me a fish on the end my pole fight'n up a storm. The New Mexico registration has expired on the "bubba boat", so it's gonna be some time before it sees water again. Shoot, I got a brand spank' new battery for it in the back the "billy jeep" just sit'n there do'n nuttin. Think'n maybe just put "bubba" in my old VW sit'n out there in the yard an' forget it ever existed.
Back to fish'n. It's been close to a year ya know an' I don't even have a fish'n license no more. In the recent years, fish'n ain't a #1 priority no more. Way too much work involved. So, you will not be hear'n much bout the old Billy Bob catch'n no 14 pound bass. Although, I do have some wonderful fish'n stories I could tell ya. If'n ya believe fish'n stories.

Shoot, I ain't got nuttin to talk bout today. Same 'O' same 'O'. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. "But, but, but it's gonna be freez'n cold tomorrow".

Oh wait, I just check the expiration date on the "bubba boat". It don't expire for another year.  

Monday, December 29, 2014

Something is amiss.....me

I was gonna just leave a blank page this morn'n, but then decided I needed to say "something".


Ha, that didn't work out so well. I was think'n HUGE ass letters all the way cross the screen.

Last night was another one them "terrible" nights.....what turn into a terrible morn'n....what turn into a "I don't give a shit" attitude. Poor nephew Frank only visit for bout 5 minute an' poooof, he gone....just like that. 

Ok....I'm out of here.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Remember'n a "little red bronco II"

YIKES!!!!.....it's cold outside (42 degs). An', accord'n to our wonderful weather forecasters, it's gonna be on the rainy chilly side for the entire week. That folks, ain't good news. What can ya do when the weather has you cooped up in the house?

Well, at Billy Bob's house, we got all kinds of stuff we can do. There's a ton of housework that could be done. Them tools lay'n on the floor could be put back in their proper place. A leak'n winder could be fixed....now how comes "Sally da house" has got a leak'n winder? Then of course, I could make me a trip to Walmart. Or I could just sit here an' "do nuttin". The choices are unending.

It was back in 2003 I'm think'n. Or was it 2002? Me an' my trusty dog Beaudreaux.....

we took us a trip to Georgia in "Alice", my first motorhome.  A 1989 classic 30 foots Open Roads by Tiffin.

We camped at my son's Jesse James' house....

out in the yard under some pine trees. I didn't have me no "toad" (vehicle to go to Walmart in). In the back yard was this old junk look'n two tone blue, an' grey 1984 Ford Bronco II.

The purchase price was reasonable....for a running Bronco II, but it didn't run worth a poop. Clutch slip. Front wheels look like this \----/. Battery is slap dead. It needs some attention.  Bout $500 attention it got.

Fast forward a year or so, I'm out in California. I have plenty of time on my hands, let's paint that Bronco II.

 Sandpaper, Bondo an' all kind of stuff is purchased. We gonna make this sucker look brand spank'n new.

I'm think'n that's a pretty good look'n paint job. Even though I had a tachycardia attack (rapid heart beat an' almost pass out) while apply'n the final finish coat. We named it "the little red bronco II".

For the next bout 4 years, the "little red bronco II" follow us all around the country....never give a problem. Never hear a whimper. Just look at the key an' she was up an' run'n, rare'n to go. But she was get'n old. I didn't trust her no more. Computer was dead, engine don't sound right....she needs to be in a old folks home. Replaced with that jacked up, off road POS "that jeep".

What has been replaced with the "billy jeep".

 What I'm think'n bout replac'n with a Harley Davidson....with a side car ya know for Sadie Mae.  
 Something like this.....
Ha, won't be no winter trips to Walmart on that thing....."Sadie Mae, go for ride"???

Yesterday I got me some time in work'n on that tug boat. Ya see, it had some balsa wood on it, an' I don't like balsa wood....way way too soft for a "macho" man to place in his calloused hands . I replaced it with some scrap PVC plastic cut to shape (modified), sanded an' glued back in place. Painted it black an' now ya can swak it with golf'n club an' never leave a dent.

Ok, I'm done for the day. I got stuff to do ya know.  

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Just a daily reminder that I'm still alive.....almost

Today appears to be another yesterday. My desire to enlighten you on my daily activities has fallen to a new low. When I get all excitis bout....let's say, fix'n a hole in that tug boat, no body could care less if'n that sucker sinks or not. Now if'n I was to climb up on the roof of "da house" to sweep the bird poop off an' I fall over the side...land astraddle one then dad gum borros an' he takes off for the woods, slam'm me into a hunnert mesquite trees....cuts an' bruises an' stuff, somebody would say something like "you one cool rodeo buckaroo Billy Bob".

I've run slap out of stuff to write about. When I sit here an' think'n of  humorous times in my life....I git all excitis an' shit like that. I says to myself..."you done tole that story many times before". Bout all I got left to write bout these days is "what I did yesterday". At present, I have no tomorrows to talk about.

Although I ain't camped where I would like to be camped, I am in South Texas. I am comfortable with my situation an' I am kind-a-sorta content. "El Rancho Abraham" is in no way a super resort RV park with palm trees, a heated swim pool an' all that other high dollar stuff....concrete slabs an' picnic tables. I'm parked in my nephew Joseph's yard, full of knee high grass an' weeds (I'm lie'n ya know). Donkey shit everwhere ya look (ain't lie'n a bit). Neighbors chickens come to visit....must be a hunnert cats run'n round. But camped here, I am checked on every day to see if I'm still breathing, to see if'n I need anything from the store....I get visits every day.
See what I'm talk'n bout, nephew Joseph just bringed me a plate full of scrambled eggs, fried taters an' big ol' chunks of ham. 

As much as I hate it, a trip to Walmart has to be made pretty darn quick. I'm fine on groceries an' stuff like that (HEB is less than a mile). But, I'm slap out of meds. Now, speak'n of meds. I'm down to 3 medications. Spiriva for COPD. A blood pressure med what I'm think'n I could do without an' a tiny little pill to keep my heart from go'n a hunnert mile a hour (tachycardia). 

For some unknown reason, way down south Texas hit my mind last night. Once on the road, I could be there in right bout 4 hours. But, there is still a "illegal" issue in way down south Texas. Free Obama phones, welfare, free housing, medical care, schooling, driver licenses, promises of citizenship, criminals being released from prisons.....citizens forced to take in an' care for "illegals".....Yeah, I would come to south Texas also. But, like Mr. Obama said....we don't have a illegal issue. Hug warsh!!!!

Cold front headed this way. Should be here some time this afternoon. Dang I hate to hear that. Supposed to be on the chilly side all next week....with rains. Rains suck ya know. Messes up the golf ball swak'n place. An' I like to swak golf balls. Knock limbs off'n those big ol' oak trees. Yeee Haa....that's what golf is all about.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

What's all them red lights for?

Well I'm try'n my darndest to make a serious situation as humorous as possible. Taking a homemade shrimp'n boat out to sea in extreme conditions ain't something to laugh at.

The winds had picked up shortly after leaving dock. The entire Galveston bay is whitecapped, 3 to 4 foot seas awaited us. Cold ass water was com'n over the bow, drench'n captain an' crew. That Corvair engine is purr'n like a new borned kitten. We go'n bout 5 knots against a north wind blow'n bout a hunnert mile a hour. Could'a been closer to 20 or so.

It was early afternoon an' we ain't got far to go. Bilge pump hooked up an' removing gallons of sea water. But this is the old sea Captain Billy Bob. Things like this is a normal occurrence....he ain't skeered of nuttin. With that statement out the way...."what the hell is that noise"? "Why is the boat slow'n down to 2 knots"? Land, an' a bit of safety, is a good mile or so away. We are close to the Houston ship channel, an' as I recall, ships go to Houston. It's the clutch.

Before we get into the clutch, let me 'splain something to ya. Boats don't have clutches. Not like the ones they put in cars an' trucks anyhows. But, go back an' read who builed this thing. Billy Bob, that's who. This shrimp'n boat has a clutch in it. After much modification ya know. Anyhows, the clutch don't work no more. All it do is slip an' make god awful noises.....vibrates like hell.

Back to Billy Bob an' the way he do things. There is no way, never never gonna happen, that he would take a homemade shrimp'n boat out in heavy seas without a ton of tools. That truck transmission had to be pulled to get to the now wored slap out clutch. It's get'n later in the day now ya know, not much sunlight left. Yes I got a flashlight. I ain't completely stupit ya know. A big ass hammer an' a hand full of 16 penny nails drove into the right places fix that clutch right up. Transmission is reinstalled an' we fire that sucker up. Now it's dark. An' we still got four more mile to the Texas City dike....an' safety.

The last hunnert yards are by paddle power. We run slap out of gasoline for that damn Corvair engine. Don't go say'n nuttin, I figgered 2 gallons was more than enough. A small wooden dock awaits us bout half a mile from where we supposed to be tie'n up. The boat ramp an' "yo mama" with the truck an' trailer. As we walk that direction in the clouded over moon light, I say...."What the hell is all them flash'n red lights"? As we get closer, I see a bunch of dad gum cop cars, fireman trucks, a amblalance an' bout a hunnert people stand'n round. A couple Coast Guard boats in the water. "I wonder what happen for all this excitement go'n on".

Do I need to say any more bout this adventure? Did I get into any trouble? You bet yer bippie I did. Damn, I was think'n I was gonna spent the next 5 years behind bars. I sign bout a hunnert papers an' that homemade shrimp'n boat with the Corvair engine.....it was banned from any more sea trials in Galveston Bay. Something bout "safety issues" to other boaters.

Ok, speak'n bout boats.....I worked all afternoon yesterday on that tug boat. Wires was run an' soldered. Batteries installed. Controls hook up.

 We [this] close to a finished remote control tug boat. The remote control part anyhows. Still got a ton of other stuff to be done.
I turn on the switches, everthing works. I hit the throttle full bore....."What the hell is that noise"??? "Clutch, it's the freak'n clutch....git some nails". Ha ha, there ain't no stink'n clutch. Motor alignment is off just a tad. More on this situation later after I tear shit apart again. But....that noise sound sooo cool....just like a engine run'n.

Then I eat me up a thick ham steak what was in the frige. My god that was sooo good. Two rounds of Alka Seltzer later, I fall slap asleep in my office chair. Sleeped in that sucker all night long until 8am this morn'n. My back didn't feel too bad when I waked up, but let me tell ya bout neck pains.

Nephew Joseph bringed me a present this morn'n. I alway take a guess as to what's wrapped up an' I win again. It was tools. But, it is tools I been want'n for ages.....a hobby size, 51 piece screwdriver set. You're a good boy Joseph, good boy.

It was cold in "da house" last night. Had to fire up Mr Heater to break the chill. When I falled fast asleep, that Mr Heater was still crank'n BTU's. I don't never do that. But, over there on the other side the room, there was a winder part ways open from yesterdays heat wave (68 degs). Looks like next week will be a bit on the cool side too. But...there is "one" day next week that could possibly be a perfect day for golf'n.

Ok, I got to do something. It's get'n late morn'n, very close to early afternoon. Yup, you guessed it, that dad gum floor needs sweeped again. Done up them dishes yesterday. Took trash to the dumpster too.

Smoker is all fired up. Two fat turkeys are cook'n. Dang, I can hardly wait. "Psssssst Billy Bob, you don't like turkey".    

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

My first shrimp'n boat......homemade

Ok, bout that boat. It was back in bout 1968, or somewheres bout there, in Texas City, Texas. I bought me up a 24 foot wooden cabin cruiser boat with a freak'n 100 horsepower Mercury outboard motor on it. That motor really sucked. The boat leaked something awful.
After bout a year of tak'n the boat out maybe two times an' spend'n tons of $$$$$ on that sucker, I parked it in the yard. The motor was in a dumpster. That piece of shit motor had burn slap up. That was when my "modify'n mind" kicked in. "Lets remove the cabin an' make a open shrimp'n/fish'n boat out of this sucker". A truck load of beautiful mahogany boards was purchased. Pounds of stainless steel screws. A few 16 penny nails. We gonna build a little bitty shrimp'n an' fish'n boat. A 25 foot shrimp net was purchased. Along with bout $400 worth of ropes, cables an' pulleys.

With the boat all rigged out with new gear, we need a motor....an' some air in the trailer tires. She's a beauty all shiney white, varnished mahogany an' homemade wrap around windshields. We need a motor if'n we gonna go catch a hunnert pounds of shrimp.

Out in the yard sits my old Corvair [details goes here] with all the winders busted out. [details goes here] We have a motor. A shaft an' prop are purchased an' installed. The Corvair engine is lined up an' connected to a modified 4 speed truck transmission. [details goes here]. A boat slip is rented at Moses Lake in Texas City an' the boat is tied with care in the slip. We on a roll, I gonna be a boneified shrimp'n boat captain.

On the maiden voyage....first time out, the frigg'n prop fell slap off. This is a hunnert dollar solid brass prop....we gotta find it. Took a good two hours to find that sucker in all that mud an' yuk, an' another two hours to reinstall it. [details goes here].

The shrimp net is carefully slipped over the side, mak'n sure nobody is look'n (Moses lake is closed to shrimp'n). Fine yer ass a thousand dollar if' ya get catched.

The Corvair engine begins to overheat. It's a hunnert an' fiddy degs in the boat, sweat pour'n down. [details goes here] The net is pulled back in an' our maiden voyage ceases. We got some modifications to make. A 4 foot piece of 8" metal duct pipe is installed to the cooling fan outlet. This directs all that hot air up in the stratosphere an' not in the boat. It may look rather ugly, but it works perfect. We paint it white.

The boat springs a slight leak. Enough to sink that sucker if not repaired. I ain't catched my first shrimp yet, so it needs repaired right now. From Moses Lake to the Texas City dike is right at bout 5 mile or so of the open waters of Galveston bay. That's where "yo mama" will meet me with the truck an' trailer.

Tomorrow, you will learn of all them red lights flash'n an' hunnerts of people stand'n round.

The winds blowed like hell yesterday, an' it weren't all that warm outside. No sit'n on "da porch" sip'n up a cup an' think'n. I got a tug boat to work on. I retrieved the airplane from under "da house" an' remove the radio gear from it to use in the tug boat.
Just to give ya a idea of how the old Billy Bob does things, this control device will be used in a boat.

What will the FCC have to say bout this....I don't even care, I do things MY way.

Inside the boat, the motor, motor control an' two servos, those black thingys, have been installed. Rudder works perfect. Motor speed control (the silver thingy with the little arm stick'n out, yet to be modified to Billy Bob specifications.

I'm think'n that's a pretty sharp installation.

I got dishes to warsh an' a floor to sweep. Cain't get behind on my housework ya know. See ya laters.... 



Tuesday, December 23, 2014

[details go here]

Did I ever tell ya bout the time........I went fish'n. I had this old wooden hull cabin cruiser converted to a small shrimp boat. [conversion details go here] The engine, a 1965 air cooled Corvair an' a 4 speed truck transmission [details go here] powered the craft. A special lunch was prepared [details go here]. Lines were let loose, engine cranked up an' transmission put in reverse. [details go here] I had a fish on.

Back at the docks was hunderds of people. Red lights were flashing. City cops, highway patrol, parks an' wildlife, US Coast Guard......Navy an' Air Force (added spice) [details go here]. I will never go fish'n after dark in a 24 foot converted cabin cruiser with a Corvair engine again as long as I live. Although it was a very funny fish'n trip. Shoot, I almost drowned try'n to get that boat off the rocks [details go here].

I don't know what to blame my latest back issues on, but I'm hurt'n like a sum-a-gun this morn'n.

Christmas morn'n is supposed to be in the 34 to 35 degs range in south Texas (a white Christmas????)....winds blow'n out the north. 34 to 35 degs is NOT a normal temp for south Texas. I hope this is not a repeat of last years "freez'n cold" temps. I thought I was gonna die when it got down into the twentys. Freak'n water lines was freez'n up....no coffee water.

Bout yesterdays golf'n game. Me an' the OFM Barney showed up our usual time. All that wonderful sunshine we was supposed to have....it was sound asleep under thick cloud blankets. It was uncomfortably chilly. The humidity was high....an' golf'n balls don't go very far in high humidity. This is NOT the start of a good day of golf ball swak'n.

After the first two holes, Barney weren't feel'n so good.....he hanged up his clubs, climbed in his truck an' headed back to Rockport. I felt bad for Barney to miss such a excit'n game of golf. Hope he feels better today.

Now, bout that excit'n game of golf.....Ha, I shulda climb in that truck with Barney an' go to Rockport. I've played on golf courses all over the southern states from Georgia to California, an' I played some really terrible courses. But, the conditions of the course yesterday puts Sinton in the category of  "this golf course sucks". I teed up on my favotite hole, swak that ball a hunnert fiffy mile a hour. I'm jump'n up an' down, I hit the "sweet spot"....gonna be a 250 yard drive or more. Ball comes down bout 150 yards out....I see a huge splash of water, my ball is buried in 4 inches of yukkky mud. The wild hogs had rooted a gazillion holes all over the course. The grass in the fairways was almost knee high. Trees was run'n out from the woods swak'n my ball back at me. It was NOT a good day for golf ball swak'n. But....I've had worse.

Just for Barney....I came *this* close (4 inches) to my first ever hole in one. Total score for 18 holes was a wonderful 95. 50 front, 45 back.
And that guy, if'n he broke a 110, what I don't think there was a possibility, he was do'n good.

I didn't go to the Mexican food eat'n place after my round. I just wood'n a felt right eat'n all that great food without my golf'n buddy Barney sit'n across the table from me. We eat good ya know.

Last night I was sit'n here watch'n "crap" on the TV. Let's do some work on the tug boat. For the next 4 hours I installed two short (1 3/8 inches) pieces of brass tubing in the bottom of the boat an' two 1/4 inches dowels (round wood)  in the cradle. It will no longer turn over in it's cradle go'n a hunnert mile a hour round a corner....or slide out to the floor when I slams on the brakes.....again. The broke smoke stack an' the searchlight have been glued back in place. 4 hours work an' you cain't see a damn thing I done.

Dust pan...that's what I was try'n to think of. The last one I had, I never used. Just sweeped stuff out the door like you supposed to do. That's the way MEN do it ya know. Dust pans are for wimmins.

Well shoot, I ain't got nuttin more to write bout. I'll just shut the hell up, eat me up a balony sammich an' maybe take a nap. Be very very careful out there in this "late shopper" traffic. My god, there ain't no wheres to park at Walmart. 

Monday, December 22, 2014

I don't warsh golf'n clubs...they look fine from my house

They say the early bird gets the worm. Well, I don't eat no stink'n worms....but I'm up anyhows.

Oh, before I forget, remember that wheel I constructed? You don't??? Well ya see, that chair (my new recliner) is heavy an' it's hard to pull away from the wall so's it will go into a recline position. With my bad back, my engineer'n skills kicked in. I built a wheel for it. Well yesterday I was sit'n here wonder'n what to do for the day. "Install the wheel Billy Bob". An' that's exactly what I did.

A slide to the wall test was made. This sucker can be moved with one hand. Well, maybe not my hand, but some strong feller. Ha, when I was younger, I could pick that chair  up with one hand an' set that sucker down anywheres I wanted it. Could this be part of my back problems....do'n stupit stuff???

It's 8:30am now, only two hours to tee time with the OFM Barney at the golf ball swak'n place. I've taken my Spiriva COPD medication an' took me up a couple aspirins. Traipsing out into the neighboring farm land next to the golf course an' climb'n trees look'n for my golf ball should be much easier today with less pains. I was gonna load my secret weapon golf'n club in the bag this morn'n, but I decided I would give Barney a sporting chance. I'll be swak'n with my antique driver again today. Not know'n where the hell my golf'n ball will end up.

About warsh'n golf clubs, I felt do'n that would be bout the same as not count'n strokes....cheat'n. I don't cheat, so I don't warsh my golf clubs.

Ok, that's enough golf for one day. My intention for today is to break 90. That's a score of less than 90.....like 89.....or something like that. I've given up on the "holy grail" of amateur golf, break'n 80 due to my age an' my inability to swak a golf ball over 200 yards. Reaching the green on a par 4 in 2 strokes (swaks) is a thing of the past.

I did a few odds an' ends yesterday, other than that chair. If'n ya look real close, you will see that the entire floor has been sweeped out the door into the yard. I don't do the dirt picker up thingy. Now why cain't I think of what ya call them things???     
Damn, git'n old really sucks.

Ok....that's it...I'm out of here.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Merry Christmas to all an' to all...have a happy holiday.

Since there ain't nuttin go'n on at MY house, I'm gonna go peep'n through winders an' see what's go'n on in YOUR house. Please turn on your porch lights so's I don't go fall'n over stuff lay'n in the yard.

Some the blogs, mine included, there ain't much use in look'n in the winders. Nuttin changes. Eat supper, watch TV an' go to bed. That's what we been do'n at Billy Bob's house anyhows. Even Sadie Mae just lays there on the dashboard every night, watch'n them cats through the windshield out there in the yard run'n round, an' she never say a dad gum thing. That's NOT my Sadie Mae. She's a cat chas'n dog. Or WAS a cat chas'n dog. When god invented cats, he did it to entertain dogs. So don't be pissed off at Sadie Mae for chas'n 'em.

Ha, what a waste. All that clean'n, pick'n up tools an' "wimmins" stuff I did a few days ago, you would never know it today. If'n "yo mama" could see it today, she would have herself a hissy fit. You do recall she is the one who detail cleaned "da house" over there in Georgia. It don't take the old Billy Bob long to construct a complete disaster in such a small area. I don't even have enough room on the desktop to work on the tug boat.

I don't know how other folks think bout Christmas, but on my end, I hope it's over pretty dad gum soon. There is no Christmas spirit like there was when I was grow'n up. All it is now is..."let's go to the mall an' spend a couple thousand dollars". Now I ain't talk'n bout us older folk that still recall the family get'n together, meet'n at the Christmas tree at 6am open'n a few presents for the kids, eat'n up a big ol' Christmas dinner an' celebrating what Christmas is all about. Sing'n carols an' stuff like that. I'm talk'n bout the younger generation that have took Christ out of Christmas an' replaced him with "Amazon.com", "Happy Holidays"...Walmart an' Target.....an' Mc Donald's happy meal Christmas dinners.
Grrrrrrrr....bah hum bug!!!

With the rains we have had, I have had to sweep the floor every day. Grass clip'ns an' mud. It don't take long ya know. Before ya know it, ya don't need a broom, ya need a dad gum rake. With Sadie Mae go'n in an' out the door a hunnert times a day, roll'n in the grass, walk'n through mud puddles, it don't take long. Then there's the daily company that tracks in more mud an' grass clip'ns. It never ends.

Ok, that's it for the day. I wish each an' every one of ya a old timey Merry Christmas an' may all your holiday festivities be happy ones.  

Saturday, December 20, 2014

An attempt to not be bored today.....Ha Ha, right

Yee gads, you talk bout a boring day. That was yesterday. So far, today is a boring day too. The news is boring. Television programs are boring. My big ol' pot of chicken tater noodle soup come out boring. Anybody can make a pot of chicken tater noodle soup. Yes....boring is real....there ain't no doubt bout it. Especially at Billy Bob's house.....where there ain't nuttin to do. Even Sadie Mae is bored. Having to eat the same ol' boring dry dog food. Sleep'n in the same ol' boring place every night. Pee'n in the same ol' boring place out in the yard.

To break the boredom yesterday, I got to think'n bout that chair over there. Let's get busy an' build that wheel for it. Tools are breaked out, what are now lay'n all over the floor. A chunk of angle aluminum was lugged into the house. Measurements was took an' we start cut'n, file here an' there....drill holes. Then I got slap bored. Lay that sucker down an' ain't touch it again. 

That soup, it turn out pretty darn good. But, I over boil it. Ya see, nephew Frank come by for a visit an' we got to talk'n. All the while, the soup is boil'n away. Okra done turn to snot, noodles over cooked, taters turn to mush, chicken fall'n to pieces. Then I tastes it. My god, that is some good soup. Season up just right.

This morn'n, my back pains was way up there. All bended over mak'n my morn'n coffee. This is what I was skeered would happen. Now all I got to do is figger out what I'm gonna do bout it. Run slap out of Advil, but I got me a great big ol' bottle of Aspirin Back an' Pain (500mg) an' a bunch of them Tylenol III's left.

Boy howdy, ain't no way I'm gonna go to Walmart until after Christmas. My god, have ya ever see so many people shop'n for last minute deals??? I got me enough groceries to last another month or so, but I do need to refill my meds. An' speak'n of meds, I'm down to two prescriptions for my heart an' one for my poor old lungs. The other stuff I take is over the counter....acid reducer an' pain relievers (Advil an' Bayer Aspirin).

I'm think'n if'n the OFM Barney is up to it, we can play us a round of golf ball swak'n Monday morn'n. It's supposed to be a excellent day for that kind of stuff. A 77 degs day full of sunshine an' a 12 mile a hour wind. Perfect. With Barney's fresh warshed golf'n clubs, I'll stand very little chance of whoop'n his ass ever again. Hmmmmm, what if'n I warshed my clubs too????

Ok, I'm bored again. Need to find something to do. Laters....       

Friday, December 19, 2014

You talk bout bored....today I'm slap bored

Holy crap, is that rain??? Yup, it sure is, but it ain't no thunderstorm like the weather guy was talk'n bout. Temps dropped last night (57 degs right now) an' the frick'n door was wide open this morn'n. Heater go'n full bore. It was chilly in "da house".

We was on the 14th hole. I had a 7 iron shot to the green. Baaaabam....I should'a use a 8 iron. I over shot the green an' my ball go over there to that other tee box. Climb'n through high brush, sticker burrs, fire ant hills, I swak my ball one more time. I'm on the green....bout a hunnert feet from the hole. That when I feel this bad ass pain in my back. I done pull something.

Speak'n of yesterdays golf'n game, I was watch'n the weather.....chance of rain showers. I take chances ya know, so's me an' the old OFM Barney went golf ball swak'n. For those that don't know it, Barney had hurt his back the day before. We are now equally handicapped. I stomp Barney so bad he teared up the score card an' throw it in the dumpster at the end of our game. Well, I didn't really stomp him THAT bad, but that's only the second time I beat Barney in our bout 4 years of play'n golf together. If'n ya can ever beat Barney, that's something to brag about.

Sit'n here think'n bout what I'm gonna do today. Shoot, I'm think'n I ain't gonna do nuttin. I don't drive in the rain 'cause when I get out the car, I get sop'n wet. I got 3 places to go where I have to get out the car.
I ain't got no projects to work on....I like projects ya know. Not in a mood to work on the tug boat. Probly break something. But, there is something I can do toady...brew me up a big ol' pot of chicken tater soup. Turn on some cajun music an' sit back.....listen to that soup boil'n over there on the stove. Is your life as boring as the old Billy Bob's life is? 

Damn, it's hard being a retired person with nuttin to do. 

Thursday, December 18, 2014

A day in the life of Billy Bob....uncensored

Ok, I only got a hour. Very important appointment at 10:30am.

Boy howdy I had me some good think'n times last night. I was go'n down the road a hunnert mile a hour in "Sally da house", the "billy jeep" sway'n in the breeze an' the "bubba boat" an' fish'n poles hang'n out the back winder. Hmmmmm, that sounds more like a nightmare than a good time. But anyhows, thoughts of travel have returned to my mind. But not very far. Have ya ever been to Alaska???

No I ain't think'n bout no trip to Alaska. It gets cold up there ya know. A trip to Alaska an' back to south Texas would take me right at a year or so. An' I'm skeered of big ass bears that eat retired people.

On top of that, I'm get'n the hobby urge again. It's been two weeks ya know since I worked on that tug boat. So, you may be hear'n all bout tug boats for the next few weeks....or until I sink it.

Then I also been think'n bout swak'n up some golf'n balls. I get all excitis when my mind turns that way.
Oh, speak'n of golf ball swak'n, me an' the OFM Barney will be at the Sinton golf course in bout 45 minutes. With his hurt back from pick'n up dirty clothes, I'll have a much better chance of beat'n him today. Think'n we'll be pretty much equal handicapped today.

Ok, I wrote enough today to set yer minds ablaze with my every day activities. Enjoy....hee hee hee.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Hip don't hurt....this cain't be true

Yikes, I over sleeped this morn'n. But that's Ok with me, I ain't got nuttin planned for the day.

The water leak repair yesterday was a piece of cake. Not find'n the correct water leak connecters for the water lines in "Sally da house", I went with a plastic hose connecter an' a couple hose clamps. It don't leak, so it must be a job well done. So how much does it cost to fix a water leak. If'n you live in a house, let's say bout $300 or so. But, if' ya live in a RV, somewheres bout $3.79 to $6. People what live in RV's don't call plumbers ya know.

Yesterday also turned out to be a excellent day for pain levels an' stomach rumbles. I hurted a bit when I first rolled out of bed, but a couple hours later I was in great shape. An' it lasted all the ways up till 1:45am when I went to bed. But, that right hip hurt like hell this morn'n.....before my dose of Advil. I'm think'n I need to do some inspection of that bed.

I was look'n under my desktop this morn'n. That's where I keep all my hobby stuff. My god, what a disaster. There's ignition switch tools lay'n up under there, a pair of old dirty socks, screwdrivers an' a box of screws an' a moldy pig ear Sadie Mae been chew'n on....a skill saw an' a big ol'
 hammer.....duck tape an' WD-40. I need to do some clean up under there.

I'm almost bout ready to get back to work'n on that tug boat. It's been a while ya know an' I got a ton of stuff yet to be done to it. Installing radio gear out of the airplane means I'm gonna have a airplane inside the house for a few days. Hmmmm, one day I would love to put that airplane in the air. But that's another project somewheres down the road a piece.

With my hobbies, I should never be bored. I got a couple guns to shoot (.357 magnum old timey western revolver, .410 Snake Charmer shotgun with pistol grip, .22 Henery lever action rifle an' a gifted .40 cal automatic (midnight special). I got a ton of fish'n poles an' lures. I got a blow up boat fish'n boat ("bubba boat"). I got two remote control boats (Mississippi river boat an' that tug boat). A airplane to modify to electric powered. Shoot, I'm good for the next 3 or 4 years. I am not short on hobby projects.

Now what I would really like to have is a remote control bulldozer. Priced the plastic models on the internet. Anywheres from $200 to $500. But, I ain't want'n plastic. The metal ones costs are in the thousands. An' they weigh more than I can pick up......bout a hunnert pounds. "Billy Bob, let's just forget bulldozers an' finish what we got". I think that's a good idea....just forget it.

I've been look'n round for another project to make my life easier. Ha, lookie here, let's put a homemade wheel on the swivel base for that chair. Make it much easier to pull away from an' back to the wall.

 Just something to do when I ain't got nuttin to do.

We gonna get us some rain for the next few days accord'n to the weather forecasters. This would be a perfect time to hit up Walmart (need refills on meds) an' a few groceries, Lowes for some vinyl floor'n an' oak trim, pick up mail in Port Aransas an' get me some smokes. Don't be throw'n no rocks at me 'cause I mentioned smokes. I'll pick them rocks back up an' throw 'em right back at ya. I've said it once an' I'll say it again....smokes don't make a person "scum of the earth". At this point, I could say something bout "Twinkies".

Ok, let's do something......maybe.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Water on the floor.....Oh no!!!

Holy crap, I've been back to south Texas for a week an' all I got done was to replace a ignition switch an' play a couple rounds of golf ball swak'n with the OFM Barney. I'm get'n "Sally da house" back into liveable condition little by little.

On today's agenda is to repair a leak'n water line up under the sink. Ya see, there was water on the floor. There ain't supposed to be water on the floor. Sadie Mae was immediately accused of slop'n her drink'n water all over the place. It weren't Sadie Mae. Did you know, living in a RV is the same as living in a sticks an' bricks house? Stuff breaks, an' when stuff breaks, you got to fix it. Bet ya a dollar the old Billy Bob ain't gonna be call'n no dad gum high dollar plumber.

Just a short note bout that golf'n game yesterday. I ain't swaked a golf ball like that in a hunnert years. In case you're wonder'n, a score of 91 is a wonderful score for a 73 year old amateur golfer. Think'n I ain't cuss one time for the entire game.

Me an' Barney was hungry. But my stomach was in bad shape. Two doses of Alka Seltzer weren't much help. "Let's try the Greasy Churn Barney, I need a big ol' salad". They was closed on Monday. Have ya ever eat a #3 at the Mexican food eat'n place? That's what I end up with. Two more doses of Alka Seltzer when I return to "da house". Hmmmmm, how comes my stomach is giv'n me these problems all a sudden? Nobody takes Alka Seltzer 4 times in one day.  

Some people are pissed.

They was talk'n bout a cold front in south Texas. Well I rekon this is it. It's a chilling 64 degs outside.

Ok, this is it, I'm done for the day. I got a water line to fix.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Swak'n golf balls

I rekon if'n I'm gonna get anything done, I need to stay out of that chair. After dinner naps are fine, but a two hour sleep dur'n the day....you ain't worth a poop. But....dishes are put up, tools are put up, desktop is cleaned off, camp chairs are in place, the Weber Q is clean....shoot, yesterday was a successful day.

In case ya didn't know it, today is a golf ball swak'n day. I got a score to beat. Hit'n under 95 is today's challenge. Look out OFM Barney, here come the old Billy Bob. Gonna show ya some stuff. BaBaaam!!!....right down the middle the fairway.

I don't think like most people think. I don't do things like most people do stuff neither. But in the end run, we end up at the same destination. Destination mean'n "job well done". Although, my stress levels are probly much higher than most. Yes I'm still kick'n myself in the ass for driv'n "Sally da house" 500 miles not know'n where we would break down the next day. I don't think I want to do that again. Damn I was skeered.

Now bout where do I want to camp. It ain't like I'm gonna go out every day an' get involved with a hunnert excit'n adventures...or nuttin like that. I've got to find the place where I'm comfortable an' content. I'm not necessarily at that place here at "El Rancho Abraham", but my only complaint at present is "My god, it's a hunnert miles to town". I don't even have a freak'n fish'n license yet this year.

Find'n a perfect camp'n spot depends on many factors. Comfort with your surroundings is my main concern. "My god, another drug bust at the neighbors 1975 camper trailer". Husband an' wife out in the yard hav'n a fist fight...scream'n bloody murder at 2am. Dogs bark'n all night long. Stuff like that ain't comfort. So, where I am located is just fine with me right now. Although a little inconvenient at times....depend'n on what I want to do.

Back to todays golf'n game.....I'm almost ready. Took my morn'n breath'n medication, swaller up a couple Advils, coffee go'n down just fine, an' that dad gum hip feel pretty good....I'm all excitis. I like swak'n golf'n balls.  

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Clean up day.....I hate housework

Man boy howdy, I'm at a loss again this morn'n bout what to write about. We finished that ignition switch installation/replecement, got everthing all put back together....tools lay'n all over the floor. I hope I never have to go through this again.

This morn'n I feel some of the results of a old man do'n a young mans job. Damn that hip hurts. Just above my hip, I got me a muscle pull up so tight like the first string on a guitar. Don't nobody go tell'n me what that string is....it don't make no matter. I massaged an' pressure pointed that tight sucker. Put me some pain cream on it. Then I stick my finger in my eye. YIKES, that shit burns like hell. Muscle still tight this morn'n.

"On the road again"......no, that thought ain't even entered my mind. In fack, there ain't nuttin enter my mind. I feel good to be back in south Texas, but now what the hell am I gonna do??? Location has soooo much to do with how the mind reacts. Sinton, Texas is NOT the best place in the world for a retiree to set up camp. Fifty miles to the big city of Corpus Christi. 35 mile just to wet a fish'n lure. Sidewalks roll up at 6pm. Vacant businesses in every block. Closest hospital is right across the street (35 mile) from the fish'n lure wet'n place. Walmarts bout the same distance.

Speak'n of Walmart, I need to go to Lowes.....located right across the street from Walmart (35 mile). The carpet under the desk/hobby workbench needs to be pull slap out an' replace with some vinyl floor'n....to match. Trim it out with beautiful oak. It's a 1 day job if'n I can find my table saw to cut the oak trim. It don't really have to be done, but I put it on my list. An' if'n it's on my list, at some point an' time, it's gonna be done. Ha ha....just not today.  

I ain't got no other projects, other than the tug boat....but that's a hobby. Oh wait, my wonderful nephew Joseph broke a drawer guide on my tool cabinet in one the under "da house" compartments. Just off track I'm think'n. Then there's a ton of housework that piled up. Dishes, desktop cluttered, full trash bag, sweep an' mop the floors....tools lay'n all over the place. Dang, I could use me another "yo mama".

What the hell??? I done forget to publish this stuff.
The drawer is fixed. 2/3rds the tools are stowed. Dishes are soak'n in super hot water. Half the desktop is back in decent order. "Damn Billy Bob, you hot today".

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Quick Update.....New part installation day has arrived

I have absolutely nuttin to write about this morn'n.

Well, I could mention a wonderful round of golf yesterday with the OFM Barney. There was very little time spent in the woods look'n for golf balls. We was hit'n 'em right down the middle of the fairways....unfamiliar territory for me an' Barney. Many mishits was made, but we didn't care, it's "only a game" ya know. Our putt'n skills ain't improved none since out last game bout 6 months ago, but it ain't got no worst neither. It was a two putt day. Final 18 hole scores were right up there with other experienced amateur golfers.

I've waited for the last couple three days to tackle the chore of install'n that new ignition switch. But today, I will tackle that chore with both feet. Will inform you later how this project (fix it) turns out. I have all the confidence in the world, but there's always that "what if" float'n round in my mind. I've found that the older ya get, the more "what if's" enter your mind. Git'n old sucks.

The weather in south Texas is absolutely beautiful. This next front on the horizon is supposed bring some rain showers an' drop the temps a couple three degs. Shoot, I can live with upper 60's lower 70's daytime with no problems at all. Sure as hell beats freez'n slap to death.

Sadie Mae does not bathe on a regular basis. This means she gonna get that chair all dirty in nuttin flat. Ya see, the upholstery on that thing is a velvety cloth....everthing stick to it like glue.....super glue. I did tell ya she took over MY chair, right? Anyhows, I'm in the market for a "that chair" cover, or what ever ya call it. Have yet to apply Scottsguard. Where the hell does Walmart put the Scottsguard?

So far so good with the back pains. Biggest deal right now is that right hip what hurts all the time. Not as serious as a couple months ago in Georgia, but serious enough that I know it's still there. Had I knowed when I first arrived in Georgia bout this nerve kill''n thing, I would have had it done right then an' there. But then it got too close to freez'n cold weather to get it done (bout 4 to 6 week procedure)....I had to get back to warmer temps in south Texas. In Corpus Christi, there are a couple places that do this procedure. Maybe down the road a piece I will do it. Just not today.

Boy howdy, I ain't been think'n bout that tug boat for a while. It could use some attention. Got lots to do yet.
Now, think'n bout these two remote control boats, the Mississippi sternwheeler an' this tug boat....I got a remote control airplane. It has radio gear in it an' a 4 channel transmitter sit'n back there on a shelf. The airplane is scheduled for "modification". That remote control stuff in the airplane will work on the boats. Hobbywise, I'm set for the next couple three years. Think'n, with all the remote control stuff I got, I could build me a automatic knitt'n machine for my later years.

Ok, I got things to do. You should see my Walmart list. My god, I gonna be tote'n a ton of stuff. But I'll eat'n good. "No Walmart today Billy Bob, you got a switch to install".

Not much later....the switch is installed, wire connectors plug in an' other components mounted.

 See, didn't I tole you....I can do it. The ignition switch operates just like a brand spank'n new one....after one minor adjustment. Starter engage an' engine crank right up.....Yeeee Haaaa!!!! Now if'n the hi beam low beam light switch works right, it's adjustable too, we ready to button this thing up an' call it a successful day.        

Friday, December 12, 2014

Engine misfire

Sometimes I get to think'n bout my age. I know a few people younger than me that are older. An' I know a few people older than me that are younger. Ok....ya got that figger out??? Age ain't got nuttin to do with how old you are.

I'm a antique ya know. Motor don't run so good no more. Got dad gum leaks an' a squeek'n suspension. Rusty nuts an' bolts, paint job bout gone. Universal joints wore slap out.......you git the picture, right???
Last night I was sit'n here, motor start miss'n. One spark plug start foul'n out. Dash gauges show's high temp an' oil pressure was go'n out of sight. I've got a appointment in the morn'n......don't fail me now old antique car.

Then after I parked it in the garage for the night, the suspension began to give way. A flat tire an' one axle spring....it seem like it break right in two. Now I don't usually work on cars at 4 a clock in the morn'n, but I fixed that spring an' push that sucker right back in the garage. Sleep well old antique car.

There ain't many people in this world that would disassemble a brand new ignition switch.....just to take a look see. My brand new ignition switch has the same current carry'n capacity as the old green one. Ha, have ya ever try to put a brand new ignition switch back together? And it still work?

Here is the old green one.....all tored apart.
The brand new blue one has been put back together an' is sit'n here scream'n at me to install it. "You'll wait blue switch, I got me a golf'n ball to find in the woods".

Back to that engine misfire. I use a once a day additive in the crankcase....Lipitor. I Google, an' yes, Lipitor can add to the cause of a misfire. Ya see, last night, all was fine an' dandy....fire'n on all 8. I took my daily Lipitor, along with my other stuff. Shortly later, I was skip'n a beat, blood pressure increase an'....what ya call 'em?, hot flashes.....just a tad on the dizzy side. I will no longer add Lipitor to my crankcase. Just a test ya know.

Ok, this is it....I got things to do. Very important appointment at the golf'n place with OFM Barney. Yeeee Haaa, I can hardly wait. 


Thursday, December 11, 2014

Leg cramp??? You betcha

Ok, I don't know where this is gonna go this morn'n......I feel like shit. My mind is off on some kind of excursion to the outer limits of space , leav'n me an' Sadie Mae here to feed the chickens an' milk the cows.

Ya see, it was 6am an' I come fly'n out that bed. I got me a terrible leg cramp....from hell. It's been a while since I had leg cramps, so's I got to think'n, how comes I got a leg cramp? What did I do to cause my back to go haywire? All I did yesterday was to pull that ignition switch. Well...that involved removing a heavy ass "captains chair" driver seat. God awful positions on the floor up under the dashboard. That's enough to make a youngster cringe.

Last night I was all lay back in that chair an' I got to think'n, I ain't got much of that "trip" stress left to deal with. That's a good feel'n. I even watch 2 Andy Griffin an' 2 Gilligan's Island. I never do that. Then I watched a nature program on PBS. Then some British "spitfires", blow'n up stuff back in WWII. It was a excit'n night at Billy Bob's house. I like blow'n up stuff.

Ok, as mentioned in a comment yesterday, I went to the auto parts sell'n place an' I got me a ignition switch. Don't know what it's supposed to fit, but it's exactly like mine. Well, it ain't like mine, it ain't green. It's a real pretty blue. When I plugged the electrical connector to it, just a test ya know, the key buzzer go off an' the dashboard light up like a Christmas tree. This thing is gonna work. Installation/replacement will be done later when I feel better on the back side. Come on Advil, do yer thing.

Ok, I'm done for the day......I got things to do. "You ain't gonna sweep the floor are ya Billy Bob"?

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

We got update......Grrrrrrrr to ignition switches

I was sit'n here yesterday, an' I got to think'n bout that trip. That was a stupit stunt if'n I ever did see a stupit stunt. Nobody in their right mind would go down the road a hunnert mile a hour in a big ol' motorhome that could, an' would, shut slap down at any time.

The trip stress is behind me now, but guess what....I been sicker an' a dog. Yesterday turn out to be terrible after a fair start in the morn'n. Food don't stay down. I got muscles what hurt I ain't used in years. Blood pressure run'n high. An' my dad gum brain is all haywire. My only thoughts are on that dad gum ignition switch an' how to get that sucker out. Last night, I am still up at 3am go'n clickity clickity click....still research'n. I find nothing, absolutely nothing on replacement of MY ignition switch. "Shoot Billy Bob, grab holt to some wrenches an' take some stuff apart".

So, on todays agenda, I plan to remove bolts from the driver seat an' throw that sucker plumb out the way. That will give me access to the steering column bolts. If'n all works out, the steering column will drop far enough for access to the dreaded ignition switch. See what I'm talk'n bout my brain go haywire? This is all that is on my mind. Well no, wait a minute. More stress on the scene. There have been suggestions that something else could be the problem an' not the ign switch. This is a motorhome an' motorhome manufacturers add shit to a perfectly work'n system  an' screw it up best they can. Like the addition of the battery control system. It don't just control the batteries, it controls all kinds of stuff. Like the solenoid that shuts down all power to the chassis fuse panels. Be like disconnect'n the battery. Or the addition of a big ass fuse on a wire I have no idea what it's for or where it goes.

But anyhows, this is my plan for the day. Will let ya know laters how things work out.

A few hours later update......

Holy cows, I want you lookie here....

I tear shit slap apart yeah I do....

This is a Billy Bob's "Sally da house" ignition switch....in hand.

Burned slap up contacts....I bet ya a dollar.

Thorough inspection of this switch, there is no part number recognized by Mr Google. But, I know the part number an' I know it's green, an' I know it's in Washington state.....if'n I want a green one. A quick trip to the auto parts sell'n place may give me a alternative.....like a black one. As long as it works is all I care.
But, as suggested, there may still be another problem. God I hate to say that.

I ate the rest of my Webber grill pizza a while ago. Took me up some Alka Seltzer not long after. Grrrrrrrr....this shit piss me off.  


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Lay'n back do'n nuttin

This is a ignition switch....on a 2003 "Sally da house" motorhome.

That's located up under the dashboard. You cain't get to the under the dashboard to remove the switch. The steering column, see the bolts?, will have to be dropped (lowered) to gain access to the switch.
Anyhows, in the entire US of A, I have found only one place, in Washington state, that has this ignition switch. Now how comes that????

Boy howdy let me tell ya. Stress, such as I experienced for the last few days make me sick like a dog eat'n green grass. I'm think'n green grass would be a dogs Alka Seltzer. What ya think. I had three choices for supper last night....fried balony sammich, a couple cold hot dogs or some that Billy Bob south Texas chili. All Alka Seltzer designed suppers. I chose the chili, with some Doritos an' a glass of milk. Did you know, Alka Seltzer will cure half sour milk???

I was able to get me a couple hours rest with a short 1 hour nap in that chair yesterday afternoon. Boy howdy, that thing was a good buy.

Nephew Joseph come in from work bout 6:30 an' we had us a nice visit. He gets down on hands an' knees an' looks at the ignition switch....."Oh, I've changed a couple of those, but not that color". He agrees that the steering column needs dropped. Now how the hell do ya drop a steer'n column???

This morn'n I still have a lot of pressure in my back....muscles all pull up an' stuff like that. Pain levels are so so, not too bad. At least the guy with the bulldozer ain't come over to visit an' see how I'm do'n. I don't like that guy.

Ain't gonna do nuttin today other than lay back an' relax. Well, I cain't relax quite yet, but I sure do like the lay back an' do nuttin part.

I'm gonna leave it this for the day...see how it turns out. See ya all laters....


Monday, December 8, 2014

12 noon update....yeeee haaaa, I are here...Oh Oh update already........Sunday worries behind me.....this is Monday

It seem there are a few that don't realize the severity of my situation. It's not simply turn'n the switch on, crank'n the engine with that piece of wire an' go'n down the road a piece. There's the never ending threat of the ignition switch failing while I'm travel'n a hunnert miles a hour. The engine shuting down, the auto parking brake applies an' I ain't got no where to pull over.....stuck in the middle of the highway.

I would be willing to bet ya a dollar, that there are very few, if any at all, RV'ers that would have done what I have. And it ain't over yet. I got 80 more miles of worry ahead of me this morn'n. Will I make it??

Ok, I posted a comment last night that I made it through Houston. There were no details. Ha, Houston on a Sunday afternoon could be like go'n through some little back woods country town. Traffic???? What traffic, there weren't none. I hugged the inside lane in case of engine shut down, but only one time did I get under 55 mile a hour. I got a full tank of gas, there ain't no meed to stop (left engine running while fueling).

Down the road a piece south of Houston, it's get'n late. What time does it get dark in south Texas. I see a Loves truck stop. I'm a bit over a hunnert miles from Sinton an' I ain't gonna make it before dark city. Only park'n place is out front. Probly a no parking zone. Victoria is just down the road bout 35 miles or so....an' they got a great big ol' Walmart to spend the night. I fire up, after three attempts an' head'n for Walmart. Oh, lookie here, a rest area on highway 59 south. I pull off, choose my desired nice level park'n spot an' "I got shut down". Engine ain't run'n no more an' that auto park'n brake brings me to a instant stop. Not yet into the park'n space. I cranked back up, thanks to the mighty one, an' am safe an' secure for the night. Right at 80 miles from Sinton.

All that happy I had in one hand an' feel'n so good bout mak'n it through Houston, that all went to pot on this last shut down. I had me a ton of confidence yesterday that my worries were over. Ha to that thought.

Now, bout that chair. I was wored slap out after bout 9 hours behind the wheel. I eat me up some that chili, Doritos an' cheese. Then took a Alka Seltzer. I jump in that chair an' I'm out like a light. For the next 3 hours. My back an' right hip hurted like a sum-a-gun, my legs are crazy....this sucks. To bed by midnight. Will I be able to go to sleep? Ha, my head hit that pillow an' I'm off in "La La land".

So now, it's another day. How will it prove out for the old Billy Bob? Come on one hand, let's get happy again.

See ya down the road a piece......hopefully one piece.

Well, so much for that. I have no voltage to the dash......don't do nuttin. Fuses are all ok. Can't even start generator from the dash switch.

Todays final update.....

How do ya spell Yeee Haaa???
After much frustration, tons of stress, internet searches for a mechanic, I was finally able to get me some voltage to the dash with the key in the run position. I refuse to give a account of all the cuss'n words what were fly'n round. Poor Sadie Mae skeered to death....hide from me.
Now that the lights are on on the dash, I touch that wire to the cig lighter wire I got stick'n out. Pooof, I blows the fuse all to hell an' gone. Don't even ask why. Where I had peeled back some wires on the ign. switch to check voltages, I had a 12 volt wire to start the engine.....with that wire ya know. Once the engine was running, there weren't no way in hell I would ever turn it off. I hit the road.

I'm go'n down the road, mind'n my own business, all stressed out...an' a freak'n pick up pulls up side me. Well I want you lookie here, it's the OFM Barney. He follows me all the way to Sinton. I rekon to just make sure I make it. What a feller he is.

I'm one mile to destination, "El Rancho Abraham". I make a left turn, engine shuts down, brakes engage, I'm in the middle the road. Luckily I Am able to fire up again. Pull into the gates an' an' turn this sucker off. I need to lay back for a bit before I disconnect the "billy jeep" an' back into my camp'n site. Hmmmm, will I be able to crank the engine just one more time???

I want to thank each an' every one of ya for your concerns an' wonderful comments. They DO help ya know.    

Sunday, December 7, 2014

UPDATE: Hope I make it down the road a piece

This morn'ns write up on my break down will be very short. I am too disgusted to even talk bout it.

A couple of ya thought I had made a fix yesterday. Well no I didn't. All I did was run a temporary wire to operate the starter with out turn'n the key to the start position. If the ignition will stay on after I start the engine....with that wire, I may be able to go down the road a piece.

A auto repair guy was emailed in Lafayette, but he won't be open till Monday....and he may not even answer my email. There are no Workhorse authorized service centers any where close. The RV places are dealerships only....they don't fix stuff.

Depending on how "Sally da house" runs out there on the road, I may either go to a RV park or go through Lafayette do'n a hunnert mile a hour. I won't know until I crank this thing up an' pull out. But, I'll tell ya one thing....I'm sick.....I'm stressed to the max.....an' I'm skeered.

The sun has finally come up....I can see outside. It's cloudy an' get'n kind of close to cold (48 degs).

If worse come to worse, my son Robert say he would come help me. Let's all pray that don't happen. That would be a 535 mile trip for him. With that in mind, nephew Joseph is closer....450 miles. Damn I need a mechanic bad!!!!

Will update later............

As promised, here is your update....

On one hand I'm happy as a lark. Hmmmmm....how happy are larks??? Anyhows, I'm right at 45 miles from the dreaded city of Houston, Texas. Then on the other hand, I'm skeered shitless this thing will shut down go'n through a big city....like Houston. It's bad enough worry'n bout it driv'n down the road. At least there are shoulders to pull over on. But big city's, there ain't no sholders....just big ass concrete walls.

When I cranked up the engine this morn'n, it sounded sooo pretty. Made one loop around the rest area an' headed to the interstate. Run just fine, right through Lafayette, La. go'n a hunnert mile a hour. Then not much further, there's a traffic jam up. I know to be in the right lane just in case I got to pull off. I did. Engine shut down, ain't got no instrument panel lights....deader than a door nail. My first words was...."OH SHIT". Turn the key off an' back on, I got them lights. Kick in the starter with that piece of wire an' I'm back on the road.

Now I'm look'n for gas. Under half a tank, can only go bout 200 more miles. I pull into a hunnert gas stations. "Sally da house" don't fit. This causes stress ya know. I'm sit'n there cuss these gas stations an' "poooof", the engine is dead again. But....it start right back up. I'm tell'n ya right now, I need a ignition switch.
*if I could only figger out a way to jumper the contacts on the ignition switch*  You ain't gonna believe where they put that thing....up under the dash.

At this point, I have put 200 miles in today, with only two shut downs. Once I get through Houston, I'm home scott free. Close enough for nephew Joseph to come fix this thing....replace switch. I'm think'n bout another hunnert miles or so should do the trick.
Will let ya know laters.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Very important update.....This sucks.....dad gun rest area closed

 Many years ago, I retired an' took up the trade of RV'n for a liv'n. I don't make much, but it's an experience. Back in them days, I-10 was the chosen highway system to get me from Texas to Georgia and back with little problems. It was excit'n to see all those trees hang'n over the highways, Big ol' Walmart signs you could see for miles....and rest areas located in convenient locations. Where you can take a rest....or sleep at night.

Well boy howdy, let me tell ya right now.......don't do it. Yesterdays travel distance was to be 220 "easy" miles. Pull into the rest area at Slidell, La., eat up some supper an' lay back for the night. Ha....soon as I enter the state of La., the freak'n rest area visitor center is closed. I'm coming into Slidell, make a right on I-12, there's a Walmart right down the road a piece. By the time I find it, I burn up a couple gallons of gasoline. I point "Sally da house" at the first entrance....an' I slams on the brakes. Barricades hang overhead.....12 feets from the ground. "Sally is 12' 6" in stock'n feet. We won't be stay'n in the Slidell Walmart tonight.

Back on I-12, what has traffic like what I expect to find in Houston during rush hour, we travel another 60 or 80 miles. On an' off the highway bout a hunnert times look'n for a place to stay for the night. I spy a Love's truck stop up the road. I pulls in, there's construction go'n on, half the parking area is closed. An' the other half is slap full of big ass trucks. Across the street is a Velero station with truck parking. The truck park'n lot is full, but I find me a nice level spot off to the side out front. I shut down the engine, sit in that chair an' relax. I drove bout 310 miles today to this point....give or take. There's more yet to come.

At midnight, I'm layed back mind'n my own business....ain't bother'n nobody...I hear a knock on my door. It's security...."this is a no parking zone, you got to git out now". Oh crap, it's dark out there, I cain't see in the dark. Three other "full" truck stops later, I'm back on I-10 headed west. There's a rest area bout 30 or so miles up the road. That sucker is slap full, not one empty spot to park for the night. Oh wait, behind that other motorhome is a perfect camp'n site. I drove 340 miles today. I'm a little over half way home.

I have that feel'n, today is gonna be another yesterday. I'm 160 miles east of Houston. It's the weekend, traffic through Houston will be terrible when I get there. My freak'n back hurts from all them extra miles...and the stress...Oh my god.....this is gonna be a rough day....I betcha a dollar.   

It IS nice to get out of the forest, but what the hell is so excit'n bout swamps? That's all I have to say bout that. This trip has not been excit'n at all. But shoot, what do ya expect when ya drive interstates? I ain't see my first John Deere tractor yet.

See ya down the road a piece.....

Update......I'm broke down.

Ya see, when I was gonna hit the road...4 hours ago, I had no ignition, no dash lights, starter don't work. Much "try'n this an' try'n that", I have determined the ignition switch needs replaced. I have been able to get the starter crank up the engine a few times, but as soon as I release the key, everthing goes dead again.

Now, when I turn the key to the run position, the dash lights up...."just don't turn the key to the start position Billy Bob". As a test, I turn the key to run, climb up under "da house" an, jump the starter with a big ol' screwdriver. It fire right up. So's I ran a jumper wire to the starter, the other end next to the battery. I can start the engine from there just by touch'n the positive battery terminal. Will it continue to run once I get on the interstate??? I have no idea. Do I try to go all the way to south Texas with it like this?? Ha, would hate to be stranded on the side the highway. I'll make a few loops around the rest area an' see what that proves.

Google search in Lafayette, La. shows no results for RV engine repair. It's 2pm, too late in the day to "hit the road". I still want more tests before I encounter a hunnert big ol' 18 wheel trucks.  

Ok, I'm gonna take a much needed break an' think this shit out. Damn, still got 450 more miles ahead of me.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Nuttin but big ol' trucks an' cars

This morn'n I crawl out of bed not feel'n worth a poop. But I got a blog to write, so here I are.

I didn't tell ya yesterday, but that tug boat took a fall. Ya see, there was a stretch of road, bout a hunnert mile long, where maintenance don't fit the bill. "Sally da house" shaked an' shimmy go'n over that road. Think washboard country roads. The cabin/pilot house assembly fell to the floor. Crunched a hand rail, knock the searchlight slap off an' busted loose one smokestack. No problem, I know how to fix stuff like that.

I went outside to turn my inverter on. Poooof, a cloud of white smoke fills the air. To be replaced down the road a piece. Grrrrrrrrr......

When you travel by interstate, you ain't gonna see nuttin excit'n. It's just highway, slap full of big ol' trucks an' a gazillion cars. I ain't never in my travels seen so much traffic on a interstate as I have for the last 150 miles. Think'n maybe low gas prices have something to do with it. Very few RV's have been encountered.

Upon brew'n my first pot of coffee, the Onan generator quit. Tryed to recrank. Nope, it's dead to the world. Switch coffee mak'ns over to the peculator an' turn the fire on. I'll boil me some coffee.
Then, I says, let's try that generator again. Ha, that sucker fire right up an' I'm drink'n fresh brewed coffee. Now all I got to do is figger out what happen that it shut down.

I was gonna attempt to drive all the way to Slidell, La. today without stopping for gas. Hmmmmm, I ain't gonna make it. Oh I probly could, but do you know how much stress is involved when you get low on fuel??? I ain't go'n that route. 140 miles down the road is a Texaco I'm gonna pull into. That simple.

Billy Bob south Texas chili, with Doritos an' cheese was supper last night. Alka Seltzer was the reliever. But I do have to say, this is some of the best chili ya ever eat in your entire life.

Ok, this is it for now. Probly gonna be a update later on. Check in with me.

Thursday, December 4, 2014


Yesterday was one hell of a day. With visitors from 10am till almost 9pm, the old Billy Bob was wored slap out. It was a good day.

There wasn't much to do to get ready for the road....tire pressures, stuff under the hood, tie shit down so's it don''t fly all over the place, drink up bout 4 pots of coffee....an' tell stories. Three of the boys showed up.

A pot of south Texas chili was brewed up so's I'll have something to eat on the trip. While it was brew'n, we discussed "bambi" chili. Now in my book, venison has no place in a pot of chili. That's a macho thing that all men talk about.....how good venison chili is. I have my take on that too. Yes I know what the "good book" says....eat deer. But that's only if ya cain't find a cow. Anyhows, the old Billy
will be eat'n some the best south Texas chili ya ever eat.....made with cow meat.

It was dark outside. I set my alarm for 7am. Had to turn the lights on just to see what time it was. I don't do dark. Didn't sleep too well last night with this trip on my mind. Good possibility I'll be run'n into rain this afternoon over there in Alabama....accord'n to the weather forecaster that ain't never got nuttin right yet. An' these guys make good money.

Ok, I got to get ready to hit the road. Robert will be here shortly. "Yo mama" dropped in for a final chat.
See ya down the road a piece.

"Holy crap Billy Bob, is there some kind of fire down the road....slow this sucker down". I ain't go'n fast dag nab it, I just left too early. Too early be'n 11am. I know how many hours it take to drive 200 miles an' I know what time it gets dark. Most times I will pull into every rest area there is....stretch my legs, go pee out under a tree, grab me a snack, an' put Sadie Mae on a rope so she can do her thing. Rest areas??? There weren't none. This one just popped up out of nowheres an' the one I was gonna spend the night is only 45 more miles down the road. I like Texas rest areas. Bout a hour an' a half between. Something like that.

Everthing went smoothly this morn'n. That was until we attempted to put the slide out in. Ya see, under that old couch was 3 sets of seat belts bolted to the floor of the slide out. We just push them bolt down even on the top side, but on the bottom, they run slap into the side of "Sally da house"....the slide don't go in, stick out 4 inch at the bottom. Removal of the bolts took a good 10 minutes...."hurry Robert, I got to go".
Anyhows, I pulled out of Fly'n J a hour ahead of schedule....what puts me at my overnight rest area a hour early. Next overnight possibility would be another hunnert miles. I don't drive 300 mile a day.

I didn't even get out of Georgia when I hit some rain drops. For bout 5 minutes or so. After that, it's hot in "da house". 78 degs just south of Birmingham, Alabama.

Ok, I'm gone.....I got some miles to eat before I get in that chair.
See ya in a couple hours....... 

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Plans....what plans?

I have a plan......ha ha ha, yeah we all know how plans work at Billy Bob's house. Don't rekon I need to say no more bout that. Plans suck.

By the time I got back to "da house" from Walmart, it was freak'n dark out side. I don't do dark. Well, I don't drive in dark. But last night, it was a emergency....I had to find my way home. Ya see, "yo mama" told me how crowded the Walmart was in Villa Rica, just 10 miles up the road. So I went to this little burg bout 15 mile south of where I'm camped. A little hick town. With one the biggest Walmarts ya ever see in your life. I was in that sucker for over 2 1/2 hour, an' only got me a half a buggy of stuff. Man I like look'n at stuff in Walmart.

When I finally hit the park'n lot, the sun was almost gone. It's gonna be dark in just a few minutes. I've never been to this Walmart, how the hell do I get back home? "Ya should'a turn back there Billy Bob". You guessed it, Billy Bob is lost. It ain't often you will find me ask'n nobody for directions, but I pull into this convenience store. With head hung low, shoulders slumped, in a low whisper voice, I'm ask'n the pretty lady "how the hell do I get back to "Yo Mama's RV Resort"......the road go'n to Villa Rica?

Groceries an' hobby supplies put away, I eat me up some supper. I get all sleepy like. My eyes are fall'n down. That chair sit'n over there is say'n to me...."come sit with me Billy Bob, I'll fix ya right up". I remember the last time that chair say that to me.....I don't go near that chair. Sadie Mae jump up in it an' BAM, she sound asleep.....just like that.

Anyhows, this morn'n I was gonna hit the road. It's a beautiful day. Sunshiny an' warm. But wait.....I sleeped in this morn'n. I still got some stuff to do. It would be 1pm before I could even think bout pull'n out of here. I still have propane to buy an' a black water tank to empty. Hmmmmm....check the weather forecasts. It's cold in Texas. It's cold on I-10 headed west. I'm think'n it's winter time....that's Brrrrrrrr weather. Mid 40's at night is winter. But that's OK, I ain't in no big hurry....maybe tomorrow we can put the first 200 mile on the speedo. Keep in mind, I don't drive in dark.

That poor hip hurted like a sum-a-gun this morn'n. Advil still ain't kicked in. I'm think'n a little stress has something to do with it. Damn, stress sucks. If I could have only had that surgery. Well, I could have had it, but then there's the possibility I may not be here this morn'n. Breathing air. Ya see, when I had my open heart surgery, it took forever to get my lungs to work again. That was one big concern of the back doctor here in Georgia.

Now, with that said, don't nobody think I'm gonna be fine when I get back to Texas. I'm gonna be the same as I was when I left. Maybe possibly a little better, but I ain't gonna bet no money on it. If'n ya got a rod knock'n in the engine, an' ya don't get it fixed, it's still gonna knock. Simple as that. 

Ok, I got some stuff to get done. Don't want that shit fly'n round go'n down the road a hunnert mile a hour.
See ya in the morn'n.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Make'n preps...

Do you know, that if you place a piece of cloth material out in the elements, it will change shape? The beaming ultraviolet sun rays will attack the fibers, the high winds will streeeetch  the material, freez'n temperatures will weaken an' "make stiff like board" the entire piece of material.
That may seem a little over stated, but that's what happen to my awning. I ain't say'n that my awning is no longer useable, it's just soooo freak'n hard to roll all the way up.

You may recall, not long ago, I was talk'n bout mak'n my life "comfortable"....an' the installation of a recliner completed that project. I am fully comfortable in "Sally da house". That was until I attempted to roll up the awning. I was pissed. I was cuss'n. I was stressed out.....so stressed out I wanted to yank that thing off the wall an' toss it in the dumpster. One more item to be added to my "comfort list". Ya see, they make electric awnings for RV's. All ya got to do is push a button an' the job is done.

Me an'  Robert turn "da house" around yesterday. Now the front windshields are pointed "down the road a piece". The "billy jeep" is loaded, camp'n stuff stowed, water tank is full....an' Loves truck stop is just up the roar a piece. Propane an' empty black water tank. Ha....Google maps says the trip to south Texas is a 14 hour trip (982 miles). They don't know the old Billy Bob too well do they? We look'n at 4 or 5 days....not hours.

"Who the hell is Margaret"?
Have ya ever had a special someone in your life? Someone you can relate to in most every way? Someone ya can sit down with an' talk, laugh, cut up with, tell some off the wall jokes....feel at ease. No I ain't talk'n husbands an' wifes, marriages, relationships....none that stuff. This is where "Margaret" comes into the picture.....the nickname I use for these special wimmins in my life. That's bout the best I can 'splain "who the hell is Margaret". Men folk ain't got nicknames like that....just the wimmins. On my blog, I got me a couple them Margarets. They mean a lot to me.

That chair needs some discussion this morn'n. Even though it's a very comfortable chair (recliner), I'm think'n it may be caus'n some my returning back pains. When I recline back in it to a comfortable position, I can feel a pressure in the lowest part of my back...an' my legs get this weird feel'n. Then, the next morn'n, my back hurt like hell. That's just a thought. To test that thought, I will NOT be sit'n in that chair for the next couple days. Well, I might sit in it, just not in a reclined position. My god, that is one comfortable chair.

Ok, I got things to do. I'll catch up to ya laters. 

Monday, December 1, 2014

Down an' almost out

The old Billy Bob ain't so good this morn'n. Things happen ya know.

There's a story bout "Margaret". Will let ya know that story when I get back.