Sunday, July 25, 2010

Pack'n up for a move

Today, we must make some kind of comment about "old folks". You know what I'm talk'n bout, them old geezers what learned all about life the hard way....by trial and error....and listening.

Ya see, it's like this. Years ago before the world was connected by internet, folks had to turn to their elders when they encountered a problem....such as "what bait to use to catch a fish". Have ya ever noticed, your young'uns ask too many questions. But without answers, these young'uns wouldn't "no nuttin". Oh sure, they can just google things today, but they gonna be ask'n how to spell them hard words and what they mean. Old folks may have been put on the back burner, but they can never be replaced by modern technology....the internet. So, if there any young'uns read'n what old Billy Bob is say'n, go out and find a old folk and ask some questions. You'll be glad ya did and you'll be surprised how smart them old folks are.

After a breakfast of a dozen donuts and a couple pots of coffee, we headed out to sea for a day of fish'n. Today we gonna work the points and drop off and old Billy Bob gonna hook up one them 12# bass. Well, that's what I were think'n before we left dock. I were driv'n the boat, so we was going where I wanted to go. Weren't no time at all and we was back up in shallow water.....HUH??? What the hell you do'n Robert, the fish are out there in the open seas. This is what I had to put up with for 6 days....fish'n where there ain't no fish.

Years ago, I took my son Robert bass fish'n many times. Mostly we brung home bass. Now that he is of age (44), he no longer remembers what he learned as a kid. He's an internet bass fisherman now. Buy all that fancy stuff. Designer fish'n pants. High dollar fish poles. Fancy tackle boxes packed full of weird look'n stuff. Never will old Billy Bob go fish'n with a professional internet bass fisherman again.

The boys got to act'n up the first day and for the life of me, I ain't figgered out why. They get grandpa all piss off then turn around and snicker at each other. I had to take more pills in 6 days than I do in a month. They tormented the poor dogs so bad I had to put them in the shower for hours on end. Poor old Lug Nut weren't happy with that. Of course, Sadie Mae just laid there like she always does.

Boy howdy.....looked at old Dizzy's swamp and see a spot where them bass is hang'n out. Got to get me a place like that....and a boat....and some new fish poles, a couple tackle boxes, build me a porch for sit'n, sip'n a cup and think'n and go catch me a fish any times I want.

Ok....got to take a break......laters

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Back in Tallapoosa

Holy crap, Billy Bob is back. And has he got some stories to tell. Ya ain't gonna believe them though.

Have ya ever catched a fish what was so big ya couldn't get it in the boat?? Well.....I ain't neither. In fact, fish'n sucks. Camp'n sucks. Lakes suck. Big ole pontoon boats suck. Motors that die suck. Run'n out of gas sucks. Eat'n balony sandwiches for breakfast sucks. Chiggers suck. Poison ivy sucks. And.....some yahoo rednecks yell'n cross the water till 2am every night sucks too.
I had a wonderful week of sit'n back watch'n all the confusion. Don't EVER go camp'n an fish'n with family. They don't "no nuttin" bout nuttin. They too organized.

Speak'n of organized, how bout blow up air mattresses? Six man condo tents? Fans? Fluorescent lighting? Brand spank'n new auto rewind fish poles? Sixteen tackle boxes stock plumb full of stuff ya ain't never gonna use? And....a brand spank'n new high dollar trolling motor what only runs one speed...."overdrive"? I swear I gonna tell ya, one cast in a hole and ya gone...out of there. And....to top that off, we was fish'n in three feets of water....right up on the bank. NOTE: ALL fish'n reports says fish are in deep water due to the high water temps.....and where do you suppose we was fish'n?? Yep, right up on the bank. My son know all bout bass fish'n. 

Now don't be get'n me wrong, I had a wonderful time. Mostly when I was sleep'n. Had me some dreams of that big'un.....12 pound plus. He's still out there ya know, swim'n round with a big grin on his face laugh'n at the Billy Bob.

Day one was mostly just set'n up camp. Come this close to tak'n off one my big ol' mirrows back'n down the hill into my camp site. Ya see, it was like this....the only place to park a big motorhome was around a couple trees and round a corner. Everything was fine...old Billy Bob know how to back up ya know.....when all a sudden Robert start scream'n and wav'n his hands. I says, "what the hell is wrong that boy"? Oh shit...tree. Big ol' tree right in my other window. Back up #2 is in order. By the time I got the a/c crank'n cold air and the slides out, it were time foe some good ol' camp coffee. Crank up the Mr Coffee and let'er rip.

Boat in the water loaded up with three coolers of eat'n and drink'n stuff, we went fish'n. Now, if ya ain't never been fish'n with my redneck grandkids, let me tell ya what. Them boys were all over that boat....sling'n lures, worms and weird homemade stuff in every direction. They dangerous. Big ol' trebble hooks fly'n by my head 90 mile a hour. Fish'n lines break'n, chang'n bait after each cast...and then yell'n "got one grandpa".

Visitor from hell..........

That's all for now.......BIG story to follow.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Holy cows Billy Bob

Hey!!! Old Billy Bob go'n fish'n for a week tomorrow morning. Gonna catch me a big old bass bout 12 pounds.

Vacation with kids and grandkids going smooth. Get on my nerves with all their silly questions, but that what grandpas are for.

Got the "that jeep" all fix up with the lift kit took off. Makes a funny sound, but I rekon I can put up with sounds.

Rebuild my sons boat motor so's we could catch a fish and run around the lake. Sat on my brand spank'n new fish pole....broke it right in half. Told Walmart a big fish done it. Got me a brand spank'n new fish pole. 

I been feel'n really good for the last three four weeks. Must of been something I et. Family been feed'n me real good. Breakfast, lunch and dinner almost every day. Boy howdy, old Billy Bob ain't had to cook.

Still have another month in Ga. before I head back to the blazing hot desert. Some days I can hardly wait and other days I dread the thought. Rekon it time I start look'n for a new home base.

Over 'n out....10-4 good buddys and all that stuff.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A day of rest....maybe

If all goes as planned, old Billy Bob gonna take the day off.

Inspiration comes in many shapes and forms. I have been dis-inspirationed for a few weeks now and get'n back to my normal routine has been hard. The few comments I receive and little pokes from old Uncle Ben inspires me to take a few minutes from time to time to update my blog. It ain't easy, ya know.

Nick (I) asked me a question that needs to be answered. He is just a kid in my eyes, younger than my oldest son, and he has listened to this old fart before, so he knows, when Billy Bob speaks, he know what he talk'n bout. He says..."how you know how to make that motor run like that"? Twenty five years, the difference in our age, makes all the difference in the world. It's called experience, mak'n stuff, listening, hands on, trial and error, confidence, research and learning. At his age, I would have asked the same question, and probably did of some old fart that "fix's" stuff. Old folks aren't dumb and senile. They are a wealth of information. Nick, keep on just like you are....one day a young wipper snapper gonna ask you too. In the mean time, you are doing just fine.

Yesterday we took the pontoon boat to Lake Wedowee in Alabama, bout 60 mile from Camp Roberto. We put in at the boat ramp where all the little red flags on the map showed where the fish live. None were home. Was a great day on the water, sat on my brand spank'n new fish pole an brock it slap in the middle. Ya see, there was a reason for that, I was fish'n with 3 poles, out the back of the boat....each pole for different circumstances. Deep water, shallow water and an ugly worm....no live worms were harmed. If ya ain't got the picture yet, when ya go fish'n with my son, ya gonna be in all three places at the same time. The boy don't "no nuttin" bout bass fish'n.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Where Billy Bob???

Well holy cows, there's old Billy Bob.....fix'n stuff.

Boy howdy let me tell ya, I been hav'n the time of my life. But also let me tell ya, old Billy Bob ain't used to all this excitement of run'n all over the country every day and miss'n my naps.

A few days ago, we took the both boats to some lake over there in Alabama for a day of water sports and fish'n.
Jesse and Corbin
See that motor what Billy Bob built...that sucker run

Holy crap, a bald eagle

Ain't I got me a purty..

Oh no....it's Big Bertha

Now wasn't that fun???  Poor old Billy Bob were so wore out, he done plan on miss'n dinner. That were till I find out we hav'n hot dogs.....what I eated up too many. Got me a belly ache and had to go to my camp and sleep it off. 

Yesterday was a mess. Robert brung me a breakfast sandwich and informed me we were going to Bass Pro Shop. I says...."where it at"???? He says...."just down the road a piece".  I agreed to go think'n it was "just down the road a piece". An hour and a half later, we was there...almost to Birmingham. Grab me up a shop'n cart to lean on and off we go buy'n stuff. Bought me a brand spank'n new fish reel and some worms what I been look'n for at Walmart, but Walmart don't carry good stuff. Now I have 4 fish poles and only two hands.

Today was golf day....just 'cause I said so. But since I said so, it cost me another $50. I hit them balls like I was know'n what I were doing. And then we started on the back nine. Totally different story. Balls in the trees, in the water, 50 feets in front of me.....total disaster. Ended up with a fair score of 94. 

Tomorrow is fish'n day. Just me and my son Robert. No wimmins to have to pamper, no grandkids to answer a gazillion questions to.....just a relax'n day of bass fish'n. Father and son.


Thursday, July 8, 2010

90hp Johnson rebuild

Boy howdy Billy Bob, ya got to get with the program and make some posts on your blog.
Yeah....what ever!!!

Day before yesterday night...let me figger this out, that would be a couple nights ago. What is today??? Thursday???
Anyhows, it were hot in "da house" at 10pm. Then it were cold. Then it were hot again. This ain't right....so's I break out my high dollar blood pressure read'n thingy and HOLY CRAP....165/98. Where my pills??? "This is 2 days Billy Bob...2 days ya didn't take your pills". Update: Took my meds and "da house" cool right down and had me a good night sleep.

Seems like every day it gets a little worse. Blood pressure is fluctuating, dizzy spells more frequent, feet get tangled up in stuff, less and less energy....boy howdy, I don't like this shit. Not one bit.

Boy howdy, let me tell ya. Yesterday was the day to put the motor back together. Not a complete rebuild, but just replace one piston and rings and slap it back on the boat. Well, while I were sit'n here in "da house" Robert tore down the entire motor....parts everywhere. When I seen what he did, I started...."what the hell did you do that for"? Ya see, it was like this, the other 3 cylinders had great compression, the bearings were perfect and no problem. Now what do you suppose happened? Well, Robert marked each piston (#1, #2, #3 and #4). But he forgot what hole each one come out of. It took me over an hour to figure it out by the marking on the pistons....kind of like forensics on a bullet to match which gun shot it. And then...each piston rod holds 18 needle bearings. Oh Oh, this bag only has 17. But that's ok, this bag has 19. Now anyone that knows anything about bearings knows that ya don't mix bearings. After installing all the needle bearings and torque'n them down....guess what? Something wrong....it don't turn right. Old Billy Bob nig rig that and all ok. Don't get no panties in an uproar over "nig rig". That's a word that been around for generations and it ain't gonna go away till all us old farts are dead and gone.

Today is "put the motor back on". Hope all goes well.

Last night we all went out to eat at the local "hole in the wall" Mexican Restaurant. Have ya ever ate Mexican food in Georgia?? If ya ever ate Mex in Texas, ya ain't gonna like Mex in Ga. Dark brown enchilada sauce??? HUH??? Soggy tortilla on a tostada??? Salsa what tastes like tomato sauce? At least it was cheap.
Son Jesse ordered up a pitcher of ice cold draft beer what sure looked good. Then the girl brung a couple froze mugs with ice hang'n off them. Old Billy Bob just had to have him one too. That was the first taste of beer I had in 5 years.....gonna have to get me another one them some time.

Ok, my two hours are up. Got to get off my dead ass and do something. See ya laters.

Ok, here's the deal. Motor is back on the lower unit, everything hook up, no left over nuts and bolts and it started. Didn't purr like a kitten, but it run like a race boat engine....Varoooooooom, hunert mile a hour. I think it gonna work!!!
Tomorrow morning, after my morning coffee and my 2 hours of get'n that other eye open, we gonna go to the lake, set the cruise on 100 and let'er eat. Gonna pop a wheelie. Ok, maybe it won't run that good, but it sure run'n gooder than it was. I'm proud of old Billy Bob and his expertise...one hell of a guy, can fix anything, yeah buddy.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Went golf'n

Maybe I can write something....maybe I can't.

What did I do yesterday? Well, I slept a lot. It was Sunday wasn't it? And a holiday. Cranked up the play station. Beat the hell out of grandkids. (on play station). Son Robert brung me down 3 tacos and some weird rice with what looked like raisins in it....some kind of spanish rice out of a box. Raisins turned out to be black beans....I hate black beans.

Got up early this morning think'n we would be at the golf course by 8am. Where the hell is my son??? 9:30 he shows up say'n...."are we gonna play golf"??? Well duh...that's what we said last night.

Golf game sucked. Well not really sucked. It was a very hard course with trees and forests everywhere. I'm talk'n dark woods...no sunshine. I only lost 3 balls to the "forrest gods", but my poor stooopit son just kept digg'n more new balls out of his bag. I bet he lost no less than 10 balls today. We had fun as usual.

This is the only link I could find. http://www.tallapoosaga.gov/citydirectory/golfcourse/

That's all the excitement I had for the day before I had to go to work. Adjusted the toe in on the "that jeep". For you ladies, toe in is an alignment to the from tires. Then I checked the alignment of the rear driveshaft...right on the money. So, that means that "that jeep" is finished. What's next to break down on it????

Then, after a shower, my shower faucet decided to leak. Now, a water leak on a motorhome is something like a leak on a boat. It has to be fixed right now. Not that a motorhome will sink, but it will flood when the holding tank fills up and water runs over the shower lip.pan....or what ever ya wanna call it. I did that ONE time....that was enough. Water everywhere.....carpet soaked all the way to the living room. Do motorhomes have living rooms???

My God, it was absolutely a perfect day today. 85 to 88 degs, a few clouds to block the heat producing rays of the sun and just the right amount of breeze. Boy howdy...that make old Billy Bob feel like doing it again.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Just a day

Ho Hum, just another boring day. Not much happened that you would be interested in. Nothing exciting that is.

Put on my work clothes this morning after I ate me up a couple hot dogs for breakfast. I'm talk'n hot dogs...with real buns, mustard and cat soup...and some onions. That's what my son brought me to eat...for breakfast.....left over hot dogs....sheesh!!!

Here what ya don't want to hear, but I gonna tell ya anyhows. At precisely about 1pm we started pull'n the motor off that outboard thingy.  At precisely bout 4:12pm we done tore that motor slap apart. Nuts, bolts and parts lay'n everywhere. I have a pic to prove that old Billy Bob was fix'n stuff, but it's in my sons camera and he said I have to wait till tomorrow. So that means...you gotta wait too.

Bout 30 minutes past sunset we all went down the road to watch fireworks along side the railroad tracks. Everyone else walked down but see'n that "that jeep" needed a test drive...I rode. We waited and waited for a freak'n hour. My God, it's dark...fire them suckers. They started with what I thought was the finally and I got up to leave. LOLOLOLOL..."sit down Billy Bob". Fireworks were OK for a little redneck hick town and everyone enjoyed the treat. 
Test drive proved nothing. Since I "kicked" it, I had no way of know'n how it will ride, but the cherry bomb sounded good.

See ya tomorrow......

Friday, July 2, 2010

Just lay'n round

This is "that jeep" with a new look. Notice I don't need a ladder to climb in anymores. We now have a $4500 Jeep.....worth right bout $3000....with brand spank'n new tires.
This is that motor I been work on. The last thing we did, which should have been the first thing, was to check compression. In the pic you can see the bottom piston....that the one what is shot. Now guess what old Billy Bob gonna do. Yep, you right. Pull the powerhead and fix it.
This is the other boat we was gonna go fish'n in. This'un belongs to my other son Jesse. Wonder when we gonna go catch that 12# bass for Dizzy.

I am so tired I can hardly get my shoes on the right feet. Well, I'm not really that tired, just a little "dizzy" whoosy lightheaded from forget to take meds last night after eat'n half a pizza. Today I had to lay back while sons were mess'n with the motor on the pontoon boat. Then I crank up the play station and whoop Tiger Woods real good.

Did I tell ya bout the little red jeep what went down the hill. Well, it's like this....we was adjust'n stuff on the pontoon boat and Robert's jeep just took off on a walk down the hill. At the bottom of the hill is the above bass boat, a pop up camper and the woods...big trees and stuff.  Before go'n into the woods, the jeep tried to hook up the camper on the run. Robert run'n along side try'n to get in....good thing the doors were off. Minor damage to the jeep and almost major damage to the camper.