Saturday, July 24, 2010

Back in Tallapoosa

Holy crap, Billy Bob is back. And has he got some stories to tell. Ya ain't gonna believe them though.

Have ya ever catched a fish what was so big ya couldn't get it in the boat?? Well.....I ain't neither. In fact, fish'n sucks. Camp'n sucks. Lakes suck. Big ole pontoon boats suck. Motors that die suck. Run'n out of gas sucks. Eat'n balony sandwiches for breakfast sucks. Chiggers suck. Poison ivy sucks. And.....some yahoo rednecks yell'n cross the water till 2am every night sucks too.
I had a wonderful week of sit'n back watch'n all the confusion. Don't EVER go camp'n an fish'n with family. They don't "no nuttin" bout nuttin. They too organized.

Speak'n of organized, how bout blow up air mattresses? Six man condo tents? Fans? Fluorescent lighting? Brand spank'n new auto rewind fish poles? Sixteen tackle boxes stock plumb full of stuff ya ain't never gonna use? And....a brand spank'n new high dollar trolling motor what only runs one speed...."overdrive"? I swear I gonna tell ya, one cast in a hole and ya gone...out of there. And....to top that off, we was fish'n in three feets of water....right up on the bank. NOTE: ALL fish'n reports says fish are in deep water due to the high water temps.....and where do you suppose we was fish'n?? Yep, right up on the bank. My son know all bout bass fish'n. 

Now don't be get'n me wrong, I had a wonderful time. Mostly when I was sleep'n. Had me some dreams of that big'un.....12 pound plus. He's still out there ya know, swim'n round with a big grin on his face laugh'n at the Billy Bob.

Day one was mostly just set'n up camp. Come this close to tak'n off one my big ol' mirrows back'n down the hill into my camp site. Ya see, it was like this....the only place to park a big motorhome was around a couple trees and round a corner. Everything was fine...old Billy Bob know how to back up ya know.....when all a sudden Robert start scream'n and wav'n his hands. I says, "what the hell is wrong that boy"? Oh shit...tree. Big ol' tree right in my other window. Back up #2 is in order. By the time I got the a/c crank'n cold air and the slides out, it were time foe some good ol' camp coffee. Crank up the Mr Coffee and let'er rip.

Boat in the water loaded up with three coolers of eat'n and drink'n stuff, we went fish'n. Now, if ya ain't never been fish'n with my redneck grandkids, let me tell ya what. Them boys were all over that boat....sling'n lures, worms and weird homemade stuff in every direction. They dangerous. Big ol' trebble hooks fly'n by my head 90 mile a hour. Fish'n lines break'n, chang'n bait after each cast...and then yell'n "got one grandpa".

Visitor from hell..........

That's all for now.......BIG story to follow.


  1. Glad your back BB. What, no 12 pounder yet. Dang, you gonna have to come let me show you how. Ain't been fis'n for years, it's about time I come out of retirement (grin)

  2. What the hell is that picture #3?

    Ya mount it on the wall or eat it?

  3. Looks like you had too much fun! Welcome back and slow down on the story tellin, I think it might take a week to tell all yer stories. Beats the nursing home though don't it.

  4. Dizzy, if ya have any growed kids, leave them at home when ya go fish'n. They seem to know way more than the person what taught them in the first place.

    Ben...that's a spider.

    The guy in the black hat said....nursing home??? Are you nuts??? This old fart gonna go on as long as I can.
    Yeah....it could take a week....I got some bitch'n to take care of...or it could take a day.

  5. looks like a fishing spider, they arent harmful to humans , but I was lookin on the internet and there is one type of brown recluse that looks like that sort of. Problem is I couldnt see the body well enough in that pic to know for sure.