Saturday, May 31, 2014

Some progress to the "fix it" list and visitation

And the big Texas winds hit with a vengeance. Not really, I'm just work'n up to a point.  Three mile a hour ain't no big wind.....but anyhows.....it was a dust storm. Blowed dirt an' sand in my eyes. little bitty girlie tears welled up in my eyes. That's how bad I was hurt'n....but this morn'n, my eyes are as dry as a desert sunrise. I hate dust storms blow stuff in my eyes.

We, me an' Billy, worked on the added tail lights on the "billy jeep". Ya see, when I installed the tow package tail light kit, the bubs ain't bright enough. Cops gonna probly give me a ticket. At the auto parts store, I fount me some LED tail light bubs to replace the regular kind. We spent close to two hours work'n on them things. I'm not satisfied. Not one bit....but you can see them. Did not scratch this chore off the "fix it" list. Note: The LED bubs are red in color installed 5 inches behind the red tail light lens. *think'n here....how I gonna fix that*

Then I got to think'n bout golf ball swak'n. Boy howdy I cain't wait. It's been a while since I played golf on a Georgia golf course. Way different than play'n on one them cow pasture courses down there in Texas. These have grass in the fareways an' there ain't no rocks. But....there are plenty trees.....forests....lakes.....steep hills....ducks an' squirrels, stuff like that. A real challenge. OFM Barney would love it.

"Yo mama" is gonna talk to her doctor what did her back surgery. Not for the same thing I got, but back surgery anyhows. Cutt'n muscles, bleed'n, big ol' needles, knifes an' hammers....stuff like that. She is in no pain. Cleaned up the yard yesterday....like a "man"......dang! 

That circuit board arrived by USPS yesterday. Cain't believe it made it all the ways from Portland, Or. to Ga. in just two days. I took a ton of photos so I don't put a wire in the wrong place....burn it slap up. I'm think'n this will correct a couple little problems I been hav'n.

Three of the grankids visited yesterday. In an' out the door bout a hunnert times. Talk up a storm. "Papaw, what's this"? "Papaw, where do you live"? "What's this for"? "Does Sadie Mae bite"? "Do ya have any candy Papaw"? Man boy howdy....I was wored me slap out.
"Pictures Billy Bob, where are the pictures"?

Gonna cut this short again today. My mind is off in "LaLa" land. "Come on aspirin, do yer thing". Anybody got some anti-depressants?

Friday, May 30, 2014

Update to no morn'n post

Well I want you lookie here.....that's my wonderful "fix it" son Billy. He's a lot like his daddy, if it's broke, let's fix it....NOW!!!!

Billy takes a look at the "fix it" list...... # 3 "fan don't run??? Where's the tools"? In short order it was determined that a burned up fan motor has no chance to turn again in this lifetime.....replace the damn fan motor....or the whole assembly. Google was of little help. Soooo, we jump in Billy's pick up truck an' go to the auto parts store, O'Reilly. Gonna match up a aftermarket cooling fan with the dead one. And that's exactly what we did. Well, with a little modification....using the new motor in the old fan assembly. Fits perfectly. Even looks good.

At this moment, Billy is outside installing the brand spank'n new cooling fan. He already checked for voltage when the engine warms up.....YUP, it's there, 12 volts. Waiting patiently so's I can tell ya if'n it works.
Yeee Harrr.....yeah it do. "You da man Billy (not Bob)".

Back to the Onan generator. When I cranked it up this morn'n, I piddled with the choke by holding it open. Generator came up to full speed just like that, with no black smoke. Hmmmmm, does carburetor need clean'n and adjustments to the choke??? Time will tell. Note: This is the first time the Onan has given this problem. Why now?

Ok, I'm too excitis to write any more today. It's been a rather successful day. Nothing more needs to be said.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Updated....Layed back an' do' nuttin

Almost word for word. I knowed what I was talk'n bout when I said it.

This morn'n ain't all that good to be opening my mouth an' say'n stuff. There comes a time in a mans life that he should just shut up.  an' go with the stride....what ever that may be.

Computer time.....I been hav'n a hard time get'n online lately. Oh I got a good signal an' all that stuff, but I just ain't been want'n to Google nuttin. I spend my 2 hours every morn'n do'n my "git ready for a excit'n day". You know, read the blogs, read emails, check out drama on Facebook, read the news. An occasional Google search on ..."what the hell this word mean"? An' then I turn the computer off.

Yes I read the comments an' no I don't reply to each one. I read each blog an' no I don't comment to each one. *I just deleted three sentences of excuses why I don't make comments an' replies*. It all boils down to my daily computer time.....what ain't near what you may think.

In dire need of exercise yeasterday, I walked outside to the Onan generator compartment. Took a fold'n chair with me too. I pull the cover off'n that Onan an' that sucker look brand spank'n new. Other than a few oily spots....normal air cooled motor leaks. I check the oil level first thing....air cleaner. They both fine. All the linkages are slick as a whistle. I push the start button an' that sucker fire right up.....black smoke an' all. It don't come up to full speed. On the third try, it sound just like a bradn spank'n new Onan generator. Google search is no help.
Note....after warmed up, every time I cranked it, it start right up....no problem.

I checked with USPS by tracking number. My part is still in Portland Oregon. It was sent 2 day priority mail. That means I'll get it some time next week.....like maybe Thursday. I remember one time I sent myself a letter from Port Aransas to Port Aransas. Three days....it took three freak'n days to get it. It went to Corpus Christi, 30 miles. Then it went to San Antonio, 200 miles. Then sent back to Corpus Christi an' delivered to Port Aransas the next day. No freak'n wonder the postal service is out of money. But anyhows, I ain't in no big hurry....Robert won't be back till next week.

Just lay'n back "do'n nuttin" an' relax'n ain't at all as easy as some people think. Oh I'm get'n pretty good at it, but it ain't help'n a thing. Do zombies have wings? That's what I feel like....I got to do something. This sit'n round on my ass all day is kill'n me.

Oh, while I think of it. Nephew Frank told me down in Sinton, Texas that my headlights on the "billy jeep" was flash'n on for a few seconds. I told him he was see'n things. Last night I was see'n things too. The damn headlights was come'n on an' off. I never in my entire life had headlights come on like that. I'm think'n something is out of kilter somewheres. Now where the hell do I start look'n? 

Nothing, absolutely nothing planned for the day. Well, I could break out the broom an' sweep the floor. Or maybe wash the ceiling. Ya see, I have a super dooper detail clean'n of "da house" planned. Some folks call it spring clean'n, but I'm talk'n a "super dooper" clean'n. I'm talk'n, not a speck of dust, dirt, sand, sticker burrs, pieces of grass clip'ns, sea weed....dead flies an' spiders, stuff like that is all gonna be gone. Empty all the overhead cabinets, sort an' toss stuff, vacuum an' wash the insides like brand spank'n new. Dang, I need me a clean'n woman.

So there you have it, another excit'n day for the old Billy Bob. He ain't "do'n nuttin".


Just so's ya don't think the old Billy Bob sit around all day long do'n nuttin....I been busy....if'n ya wanna call turn'n a switch an' sweep'n the floor busy.

I made the long walk'n journey, bout 50 feets, out to the "billy jeep". Gonna fix that headlight problem. I look at the headlight switch. It's set on automatic. I turn it to off....an' go back in "da house". Tonight will tell the tale if'n that fixed it or not.

My god, I want you look all this dad gum dog hair. "Sadie Mae, you need a hair cut". I sweeped the forward section of "da house". Then I had to take me a 10 minute break. Sheesh....I work too hard.

Stacked up some dishes to wash. Ha, probly gonna have to do them myself since nobody come to visit. Took out a whole big bag of trash. Now I need a nap.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Yes I am, no I ain't....maybe

Today I have a full day of do'n whatever or nothing at all. I have so many choices it disturbs me to no end.
"I could do this...or I could just sit here an' do nuttin". Do'n nuttin is look'n better as the morn'n passes by.

Ya see, Last night I was sit'n over there on the couch. Ate me up a big ol' peanut butter an' strawberry preserves sammich an' a big glass of milk.....dunk'n ya know. Finished off a pint of chocolate ice cream. I got to think'n how easy it would be to get up this morn'n an' start work'n on the broke stuff. My mind was at ease an' I was rare'n to go.
That was until I climb out of bed this morn'n."Holy crap, I don't want to do nuttin".

The battery control center circuit board has been ordered. That's what Pay Pal tells me by email anyhows. But...the company I ordered from ain't send me nuttin....confirmation. Why do companies do shit like this....it causes me undue stress. "Was it shipped, when was it shipped, when will I get it, WILL I get it"?

My god it's beautiful outside today. Sunshine bare'n down, a few thin scattered clouds an' a nice 3mph breeze. Ha, a 3 mile a hour breeze ain't nuttin....it's gonna get hot in "da house". Yesterday's high was right at 90 degs with high humidity. Yup, a/c was full bore.

It was really cold last night. I had goose bumps....my feet was cold. Had my little blankie wrap all around me this morn'n. 60 degs. Look'n at the weather thingy, there's a possibility of a little rain for the next few days. Not that I have anything against water, but I hate rain. Rain is for farmers. I'm not a freak'n farmer. Ya want water on your dried up yard? Turn the damn sprinklers on. Then break out your John Deere lawn tractor an' cut grass for the next week.

Yesterday I was all alone. Yo Mama come visit for a while, but no kids or grankids. I'm think'n that's a good thing. I ain't ready to go out in the yard an' play football an' stuff like that. Shoot, I don't even like football. Then I got to think'n...."what CAN I do with the grankids"? This sucks, I cain't do nuttin.

Shoot, I almost forget. I wrote up my Georgia "fix it" list last night. Holy cows, I got 11 items on that list. A few are just routine maintenance. 

I don't see no use in make'n this post any longer.....until I git off'n my ass an' do something. Thanks for the comments an' the one extra special email from my far away nurse. You are comlicat'n things honey, but I'll abide by your rules (suggestions). Well, some of 'em anyhows. Great help from afar. 

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Tons of stuff to talk bout...

Sorry I'm late, but you know how things are.....lay'n on my backside.

Ok, here we go with another wonderful day. What we gonna talk bout this morn'n?

Yesterday I had planned to just lay back, relax an' clear my mind of "stuff". Ha to that thought.

Robert says to me...."daddy, pull "da house" up bout 8 feet an' we'll level it". Turn the key, turn the key....bout 6 times the engine comes to life....roar'n 500 hp of road eat'n power. I just said that 'cause it sounded cool. Some 2x6's was cut, placed under the tires an' "Sally da house" is sit'n *this* close to level.

We know some stuff. That's a 18 foots (220 inches) wheelbase if'n ya didn't know.

A while later here come my wonderful daughter Doris. She's such a pretty thing.....boy howdy.

Somewhere's bout 5pm, I had to run everbody slap off. I was wored slap out with all this talk'n an' such.

I waked up this morn'n.....yeee haa to that. Bended over, that what I was. I need my coffee an' a couple high dosage aspirin. Read the blogs an' stuff.

Here come "Yo Mama" for a morning visit. We had coffee, smoked some smokes an' talk bout old times. And new times also. Very nice visit.

Holy crap, Robert is in Florida work'n on electrical stuff. Now how I gonna "fix" stuff"?  I ain't gonna fix nuttin today. Order (maybe) that battery control center circuit board thingy, but that's bout it. Well, there's a slim possibility I may sweep the floors, but I'm think'n they will still be there tomorrow....or the next day. I don't rush into stuff ya know.

Think I'll leave any discussion of doctors, an' stuff like that, for another day. I got time ya know.

Sometimes, the person ya least expect, leaves a comment. Sometimes, the person you expect, don't leave no comments. Have ya ever eat a cake with no icing? "I'll take a big ol' chunk of that chocolate cake Billy Bob, with a ton of icing on top".

Bout my internet nurse....have ya ever been to Atlanta??? Dang I like what she said. Now where the hell is all my paperwork for the doctor.

Ok....a little while later, I'm think'n since it's such a beautiful day, I may go outside an' take the cover off'n that Onan generator. Squirt some WD-40 on some linkages, check the air cleaner....stuff like that. Anybody seen where I put my Onan manual? Dang, where are my big husky boys that do this kind of stuff?

I see today's blog post ain't go'n nowhere. "Cut it short Billy Bob"

See ya laters. Oh....if'n I fix the Onan, I'll update.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Update already....Set up at "Yo Mama's RV Resort"

Touchdown at "Yo Mama's RV Resort" land'n strip was a success. Upon approach, co-pilot Sadie Mae says...."Oh my god daddy, there's fire trucks on the runway". Two pickup trucks are block'n my entrance. The "billy jeep" is hang'n out in the road. Everbody is sound asleep.

Where was my landing strip attendant when I made my approach? I could have wrecked ya know. Oh yeah, he's off to the north Georgia mountains camp'n an' fish'n so's I'll have me some fresh pan fried rainbow trout for supper tonight. Dang I like the way my son thinks. He knows his daddy is gonna be hungry.

Now we got to figger out a way to level "da house". I got all the tires jacked up on the driver side an' we are still "crookit"....that's not level if'n ya didn't know. I can live with that, but....it's not recommended to raise an' support 10,000 pounds (half of "Sally's" weight) on the leveling jacks for any amount of time. I need 2x6's kids, a bunch of 2x6's.....hint hint hint.

Yesterdays "down the road a piece" went with no errors....other than crank'n this sucker up the one time in the morn'n. Dang, I thought I was in trouble for sure....stranded. The one stop for fuel was not at the intended location. Ya see, I spied a Loves an' a Petro truck stops up the road. What the hell, try 'em out. "Perfect Billy Bob...you know some shit".

Mile after mile passed me by. I entered Georgia. Holy cows, we ride'n on air. Georgia highways are some kind of nice. I'll not discuss how pissed off I was in all then other states. Even Texas with big chunks of concrete lay'n in the road....pot holes an' stuff. Come on Obama, our highways need some assistance. *just HAD to say that*. Dad gum governments suck whether you're left handed or right handed.

So....on today's schedule, I am gonna attempt to rejuvenate this worn slap out old body. I ain't go'n nowheres an' I ain't gonna do nuttin. I got a messed up mind I got to do some repair to also. It may take more than one day....who knows? You wouldn't believe some the stuff I'm think'n bout. Wheelchairs, custom walkers, broke stuff, $$$$$$$$$$$$$ for repairs, oxygen tents....mo-skeeters an' SNOW. Dang I hate skeeters. Leave big ol' gaping holes in ya an' swell up big as a marble. I know what I'm talk'n bout....I been to Georgia before.

12:30 Update.....

Ha.....my son Robert just showed up. With no freak'n rainbow trout.

We sit here an' talk for a bit......*ring ring* Roberts phone come alive. He leaves in the morn'n for Florida to work for a couple weeks. "Robert, can ya help me level "Sally da house"? Well guess what...."Sally da house is level....bunch of 2x6's under the driver side tires.

"Daddy, your electric adapter is smok'n". Robert gets in his truck an' heads off to Home Depot for new cable connections. He's such a good boy. An' he's got two more freak'n dogs. An' they love Billy Bob. Sadie Mae even "smiled" at 'em....teeth bared. A little growl just so they understand. 

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Quick Update....Mind filled with crap....Grrrrrrrr

I've done the best I know how....I just didn't try very hard.

Last night, it was hotter an' hell sit'n here wait'n for a friendly little breeze to cool things down a bit. It never occurred. Last nights sleep was a terrible experience. Were'nt no fun or excitement in that.
In fact....it was 2:30 am. I got me one of them dad gum backards leg cramps. I'm talk'n a bad'un. At the couch I sits down, lights me up bout 4 smokes an' twists an' turns my back in ever direction look'n for relief. Ahhhh, that feels better. It's 3:45am. This is the kind'a shit I want to get fixed in Atlanta.

Shall we discuss "mind issues" this morn'n? Holy crap, my mind is all fulled up with depress'n stuff. You know bout some of it...generator, engine won't start, too damn hot to sleep, people look'n in my winders...and the most important, where I gonna get gas. I'm gonna need bout 4 days just to wind down when I arrive in Ga.

Google Maps. Let me tell ya bout Google Maps. This new version is a super dooper fine mapping program. Way much better than to older Classic version. But it's missing one important item....the mileage ruler thingy to find distance between two spots.
You can zoom in from above sooo close ya can read Peterbuild on the front of a truck. It has a street view where you are stand'n in the street look'n at stuff. That's how I am able to locate a gas station I can fit in. *First exit on 459 at Birmingham* Will update ya on that when I arrive. Now my question is , how much $$$$ did Google spend for some guy to ride around tak'n all them photos?

Speak'n of Google $$$....my ATT stock has dropped over a dollar in the last week. Ya see, ATT is buy'n DirecTV for the purchase price of....*drum roll*...48.2 billion dollars. That was the deal a few days ago. Don't know it it's a done deal today. I had plans for that money.

The Mississippi picnic area. That's water under the bridge....no further discussion. Really ain't a whole bunch more to tell that would interest the world population. The guy give me a girlie wave an' swagged his ass at me,,,,what's the big deal?

I'm gonna cut this short since I got up so late this morn'n. Generator made it on the 4th try.....damn black smoke. But....that black smoke is a indicator ya know. After this morn'ns coffee brew'n, I won't be need'n it again till it's fixed.

I got me 4 big strong boys in Georgia. I have jobs for each one of 'em. What's the chance of get'n them to drop by for a visit? When we did the floors in "Sally da house" two years ago, they was there. But....all they did was sit outside under a big ol' oak tree an' shoot the breeze. I know 'cause I was there.

Oh wait wait wait.....yes I got me TWO electric fans under the hood. I check 'em to see if'n they turn. One does, the other don't....froze up stiff'n an' a board. I don't recall EVER hear'n them fans run. Another job for a loving son. 

Ok.....that's it. Got to get on the road again. Put some miles behind me.

"Oh you're really good Billy Bob. You was gonna tell bout that wreck".

From yesterdays last update in case ya missed it.....
 And then....almost disaster. Well wait a minute, almost two disasters. Traffic in front of me was slowed to a crawl, something happened up ahead. I'm cruis'n long bout 10 mile a hour in the right lane....an' here come a 18 wheeler in the left lane go'n a hunnert mile a hour. Cars in left lane have no where to go. Truck driver slams on the brakes, smoke com'n out every tire on that truck. He swerves into the median....saving the lives of who ever was in them cars. It could have been bad I'm tell'n ya. In the median, the truck come *this* close to turn slap over an' he come to a stop not 50 feet from a great big ol' overpass concrete doohicky what holds the bridge up. A couple of us stop in the traffic to see if he is Ok. He waved us on. I suppose he pooped his pants an' didn't want nobody to know.

Slow 'er down Billy Bob....something happen'n.

There goes that 18 wheeler do'n a hunnert mile a hour......lucky guy.
That pile of rubble is what is left of a 18 wheeler cab. On the other side the highway was a demolished car in the ditch.

Quick Update......I'm in Georgia

Ok, just crossed the Georgia state line. Have to look on my Rand McNally GPS to find the exit number for "Yo Mama's RV Resort". Bout 30 more miles.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Final Update .... Lunerlander "Sally da house" approaching touchdown....

Some days ya feel just fine. Yesterday was one of them. Had a very nice journey "down the road a piece". Right bout 200 miles.

Now we are talk'n another day. Not so good. In fact, if'n I could, I would go back to bed, sleep a few hours an' give it another try.

There weren't nuttin special bout yesterdays road time other than I wasn't in pain. If ya missed yesterdays updates, I'm look'n for gas stations I can fit in. The first one I found (Google maps), the pumps run parallel. That's good news....But, the turn out of the station is gonna take some maneuvering to get back on I-20. I surely don't want to disconnect the "billy jeep" so I can back "Sally da house" up....then have to reconnect. But then again...I surely don't wanna run out of gas.
"Have confidence Billy Bob, you can do it". Will update ya when I get there. Just a few miles....10 maybe.

It's been a while, but last night I was rather....how do we say it, conscious of my surroundings. There's people walk'n all over the place. Look'n in winders of parked cars an' stuff like that. A set of three vehicles pulled in. Got out of their cars an' went to visit a lady parked over there. She weren't hav'n no picnic....as far as I could see. This went on for hours....people walk'n past "da house"....look'n in my door. I took all the spice and other occurrences out of this, otherwise it would be a long subject. I slept with gun in hand.....or very close.

Black smoke again this morn'n. Onan generators don't do that. Well, this one do. Before I take it to a authorized repair shop, Billy Bob R/V Services will diagnose the issue....with the help of my wonderful son Robert. Hee hee, some times ya gotta butter the boy up a bit.

I'm sure todays jaunt across country will in no way be different from yesterday....after I find a freak'n gas station. Back hurts, but shoot, it hurts all the time. Interstate travel offers nuttin for the adventure minded traveler. Nuttin but blacktop, concrete an' trees. This sucks.

Also on my mind, and most the night....will "Sally da house" crank up again this morn'n. Yesterday I had me some doubts.....6 trys to get that engine roar'n. An' there ain't a damn thing I can do bout it. Gas mileage is still down a bit. 355 miles an' I'm think'n 45 gallons of gas. Brand spank'n new motorhomes don't get 7.8 miles a gallon. "Service time Billy Bob".

Ok, how far do I want to travel today. After yesterdays "nice" trip, I'm think'n I could do 300 today. Oh wait....."git that out your mind Billy Bob". It's 10am. Six hours on the road would put me at my next camp site right bout 90 degs temp for the next four or five hours....sit'n in a rest area before the sun goes down. Did that yesterday. Didn't cool down till midnight.

Dang. I need me a shower. Oh oh, the dad gum water heater don't come on. What the hell??? See, I told you "something" was gonna happen. "Houston, we have a problem".
*Piddle piddle....screwdrivers, wrenches an' a hammer*....water heater come on. Dang I hate work'n on stuff what ain't supposed to be broke. I have no idea what I did.

"Oh yes, before ya forget Billy Bob, ya got to empty the black water tank". In Mississippi, the rest areas have dump stations. There is one (1) rest area go'n east on I-20. The state of Georgia shut all of their dump stations down. The trip from "Yo Mama's RV Park", in Georgia, to the closest dump station is 60 miles round trip...back in Mississippi go'n west on I-20. Dang....motorhome'n ain't all that easy.

Ok, the fuel situation worked out pretty good...after the forth exit off'n I-20. Only put in 35 gallons due to the price. Dang holiday prices!!! I'll have to fill up one more time so I didn't need to top off at $3.69 a gallon. Ha ha....that means look'n for gas stations again. Some stations ya cain't see well from the highway, so ya gotta get off an' take a closer look. And hope there's a place to turn around to get back on the highway.

Sit'n here at mile 740 of this trip at the mid point Mississippi rest area  Good 'un too. Am I mak'n good time? You can bet yer bippie I am. Right on schedule. This is the last Mississippi rest area an' right there in front of me is the dump station. "You know some stuff Billy Bob". Will continue my journey for another 140 miles of so from here. Been absolutely beautiful weather up to this point. No "hot" sunshine bear'n down on me....I can live with this. Although it is a mite warm out there.

Leaving the engine running. When I tried to crank up earlier, it took tooo many tries. I ain't tak'n that chance again until tomorrow morn'n. Even left it run'n while I was pump'n gas. I mean, like....what can it hurt?

Oh wait....I screwed up this morn'n. It's Alabama where I usually empty black water tanks....not freak'n Mississippi. What was I think'n? But I'll empty here anyhows.

Final update of the day......

Well, here I am...up the road a piece. From my calculations and a little help of my Walmart special Rand McNally GPS, I have traveled a total of two hunnert miles today. I ain't tired an' I ain't got no pains to speak of.....thank ya Mr. Bayer.

Ok, ya wanna head what happen when I leave the engine idle'n back there at that other rest area. The damn engine got hot. Something like bout 220 degs. Do I have a electric fan? Hell if'n I know. Suppose I could go look. Let ya know tomorrow.

And then....almost disaster. Well wait a minute, almost two disasters. Traffic in front of me was slowed to a crawl, something happened up ahead. I'm cruis'n long bout 10 mile a hour in the right lane....an' here come a 18 wheeler in the left lane go'n a hunnert mile a hour. Cars in left lane have no where to go. Truck driver slams on the brakes, smoke com'n out every tire on that truck. He swerves into the median....saving the lives of who ever was in them cars. It could have been bad I'm tell'n ya. In the median, the truck come *this* close to turn slap over an' he come to a stop not 50 feet from a great big ol' overpass concrete doohicky what holds the bridge up. A couple of us stop in the traffic to see if he is Ok. He waved us on. I suppose he pooped his pants an' didn't want nobody to know.

And then, we top the little incline, an' down the road is what appears to be a accident. Lights flash'n, amblambaces, tow trucks...that kind of stuff. Did I take pics? You can bet yer bippie I did. Will repost this tomorrow along with the pics. Hope they come out.    

Tomorrows final 200 mile run down the road will put me in the driveway of "Yo Mama's RV Resort".
"Don't forget to stop in Birmingham for gas Billy Bob".


Friday, May 23, 2014

Last Updated....Almost half way point

Is it morn'n yet??? Well yes it is....3:30am. Do I feel OK at 3:30am? Well hell no...I got leg cramps.

And that was last night. Took me a nap yesterday afternoon...drench'n in pour'n sweat....damn it was hot. Sat up look'n out the winders....till midnight. "Damn, I smell like a goat".

This is camp LooseAnnie RV Resort (Louisiana rest area), located just across the border to Texas on I-20 head'n east.
462 hard traveled miles are behind me with right bout 550 more to go. At 200 miles a day, ain't no way I can be there in two days. And I need to. Grandaughter visiting home for the weekend. Ain't see her pretty face in like bout 5 years or so. Maybe I'll be there Sunday bout noon time.

"Hey Billy Bob, watch that guy". I was sit'n out there at a picnice table, me an' Sadie Mae. A guy pulls into the auto section, gets out an' starts a exercise walk....or something like that. In his hands is some kind of new technology device that he has his face burried in....fingers push'n buttons. BAAAABAMM....he runs slap into a 55 gallon drum trash container. He's got my full attention now.
 He looks in all directions to see if anyone had seen his "crash an' burn" event. That would be embarrassing if someone had....right? Well, the old Billy Bob ain't gonna pass up a opportunity like this. I stand up wav'n my arms, give a loud whistle....what draws his attention. I give him a stand'n ovation with rapidly clap'n hands. He gives me the finger, gets back in his car....Poooof, gone just like that.  I thought it was kind of funny myself.

I really don't want to talk bout this trip right now. I'm not even half way there an' the way I feel bout everthing, I may just go park "Sally da house" in some Louisiana swamp a couple hunnert mile south of here. Physically I'm ready for the 190 mile excursion today. But mentally, I just don't give a fly'n flip. Too much crap go'n through my head the closer I get to Georgia. An' I ain't got no medication   for that kind of stuff. Although fresh brewed coffee helps. Speak'n of which....it took 6 trys to get that damn Onan generator cranked up this morn'n. Black smoke comm'n out the exhaust pipe on the first 5 attempts.....3-17 code on each try. "Git it fixed Billy Bob, what's a thousand dollar bill"?    

When it comes to doctors, big ol' needles, laid out on a table an' a bunch of people start cut'n on me....I get all nervous. I have a daily reminder of that experience every time I touch my chest an' feel the bail'n wire where they wired me back together. I think of how good I feeled before they did that an' I think of how my life has been downhill ever since. I cain't even swak a golf'n ball 2 hunnert yards no more. Grrrrrrrrr..........

Ok, I got to get myself ready for the road. Take some aspirin, put some shoes on...."change that stink'n shirt".

If something excit'n happens, I'll be back. Stay tuned.

Just a short update....I'm up the road bout a hunnert miles. That's over half ways to Douglasville, Ga.
Everything fine.....other than 5 trys to crank up "da house" engine". I would say it's get'n worse instead of better. Starter? Ignition switch? Starter relay? Battery control center? I figgered out a couple test for the starter an' the starter relay. Cain't do the test till I an' camped at "Yo Mama's R/V Resort" though. Need the help of a wonderful son. Ordering the circuit board for the battery control center is #1 priority upon arrival.


Final Update.....

Ok....things has changed, I'm get'n low on fuel. Back up the road a piece, I pull into a Loves Truck stop, a TA Travel center, a Exxon an' a Texaco. Nope, didn't get no fuel there. Places like this should be RV friendly an' have a pump you can pull right up to, get yer gas an' be back on the road.

Crossed the Mississippi River into Vicksburg. Gonna spend the night at the Mississippi Welcome center. Yeah right to that. I barely was able to turn around in the park'n are an' get back on I-20. Sheesh....welcome this. Five miles up the road, I find a picnic area. Holy cows, this is a ugly picnic area. Sadie Mae had to pee in three foots of grass an' weeds.

It's 80 miles to the next rest area, so it looks like this is home for the night. In the morn'n, first chore is to find a freak'n station I can fit in.

Ha ha ha....forgot what the hell I was do'n. I'm on the new google maps....look'n at gas stations. Fount some up the road bout 10 to 20 miles. Using street view, I should be able to use the ones I wrote down. If not....emergency road service, "bring me 5 gallons of gas".  

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Updated "look what ya did Billy Bob"....273 mile behind me

I'm gonna give this a whirl this morn'n, but don't think it will make a complete circle.

I try to let the comments cheer me up bout this trip, an' most of 'em do. But I got to tell ya one thing right now....it's not the same kind of fun mentioned.

A short recap of yesterday. To start with...."don't drive that far no more Billy Bob...it gonna cost ya". I ain't say'n I drove too many miles, but the time involved ate my lunch. I hurt this morn'n.

Back to the generator issue. Took 4 trys this morn'n just to brew me up a pot. Think'n I may need a professional service job on that sucker. While we talk'n bout service on a Onan generator, one time I took one in....service labor was so so until they told me all the parts involved. Their estimate was $2500 after a 30 minute diagnostic "rip off Billy Bob" was done.

A new problem has arisen. When ya turn the key to start the "da house" engine....nuttin happens. No dash lights, not a sound....there ain't nuttin. Turn it off, wait 5 seconds....an' it might work. Notice I said "might". Ignition switch? Battery control center circuit board? Starter relay...no, cain't be that. Yes this skeers me. I can see it now...a big ol' wrecker truck tow'n "Sally da house" down the road.

You knew I missed a turn yesterday....right? That only costed me bout 14 extra miles an' a couple Grrrrr's.

With my back issues, I should never spend that much time in a day get'n to a destination. All total, I spent 8 hours....with a very nice rest stop back there in Rockdale. Ahhhh, that was wonderful. That's still in Texas ya know. Up the road a piece is this picnic area. Trees, fresh cut grass just for Sadie Mae, an' it is a cool (66degs last night).

Do'n some serious think'n, I have changed my plan again. Todays "up the road a piece" will be right at 190 miles. I'll be in LooseAnnie ya know. Soooo, I will hold off on my morn'n departure until bout 11 am....what will put me in La. right bout 5pm if'n I schedule my rest stops accordingly.

Ok, I got to get my mind on today. Yesterday is gone, I paid my dues, this is a new day. Thank God for invent'n 500mg back an' pain aspirin. Gasoline. I got to get me some gasoline. That sounds easy don't it. Well, when ya got a big ol' motorhome with the gas filler in the back an' ya got a full size Jeep hang'n off the back, find'n a station to fit in is a chore. Most new gas stations now have the pumps.....what the hell is that word...perpendicular? There is no room to make a turn with out run'n slap into the building. Then ya got to have a way to get back on the road....curbs an' shit like that block your way. Nope, I got to find me a parallel set of pumps. Easy in an' easy out.

Ok aspirin, do yer thing. See ya down the road a piece.
To be updated as the day passes.

2:30pm update

Yep I sure did do something. Instead of follow'n the rules of Billy Bob's Travel Agency, I never got out the driver seat for 4 straight hours. Well, yeah I did...to get gas. Now I am hours ahead of schedule, it's hot, there ain't a wisp of air blow'n an' still 5 or 6 hours to sit in the sun before night fall. "Real smart Billy Bob". Dang I wished I would listen when I speak.

Ok, here's the deal...there weren't no places to pull off an' take a break. The one Walmart I passed by, I says...."Billy Bob, there's a Walmart".....zoooom poooof, it was gone....just like that. But here I am in Louisiana at the tourist information center....Ha, a freak'n rest stop an' camp'n site. That's 189 miles to be exact.

Everthing seems to be work'n right....once ya get the engine cranked up. Gas mileage is a mite lower than it usually is. That's not good when ya gotta pay these high prices. Maybe I need to throw out bout a thousand pounds of stuff I've collected in the last 13 years. Oh wait....I may need that some day.

I was think'n bout tak'n me a break an' go'n on down the road for another 93 miles. But Gypsy said no. So I'm just gonna sit here an' enjoy the west La. sunshine. Eat me up some that Billy Bob beef stew soup an' maybe take me a relax'n nap. Dang it's hot in here.

Wait wait wait....it's freak'n 97 degs out there. Can that be right?

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Updated....again....Road time....git up an' go

Let not your dreams, thoughts and actions be guided by others. Be yourself.
Give that some thought for a few minutes.

Ok, I don't have much time. An hour to do the final hook up chores....time is get'n close.

For me to drive the intended 250 plus miles today, I need to depart an' hour earlier. Like bout 10 or 10:30. I drive a hunnert mile a hour (60), so that means, with me rest stops to pee an' such, I'll be on the road for 6 to 7 hours. More than enough wheel time for anybody. Should I have to shorten that time, you can find me camped out at Walmart in Rockdale, Texas (200 miles).

Feel much better this morn'n than I did yesterday morn'n. But...."somebody please pull that knife blade out my back". There is NOT a smiggin of excitement in my heart as I make these final preps.

Somewhere's up the road, I'll attempt to let ya know how things are go'n. Hopefully good.

1:30 pm update
So far, there ain't been nobody right when they said I would have me a barrel of fun.. I did go get me 25 gallons of propane an' I did go get me 25 gallons of gasoline. Was on the road by 10:40....or there a bouts. Set the cruise control on a hunnert an' let 'er eat (58 to be exact).

The miles pass by, not many mind ya, but....dang, my back is kill'n me. An' that right foot I was tell'n ya bout for the last few years, it's numb like a mummy. Not what I would call hav'n fun. But....mentally, I feel a bunch better.

And then, on the Victoria, Texas bypass, I miss my turn. Dad gum road construction. I'm at Hwy 59. I ain't supposed to be there. Hwy 59 goes to Houston an' I ain't go'n to Houston. I turn around an' backtrack for bout 7 miles....there's my turn off. Yeee Haaa!!!

Ok, Remember I said something was gonna happen? Well it did. The dad gum dash air start blow'n just cool air, not cold. It's get'n hot in "da house". This sets my mind to some serious think'n. Do I have a can of refrigerant? Should I wait for nightfall so's I can see the leak (infrared leak tester)? Should I turn it off an' open a winder? Can it be fixed TODAY? And then....bout 20 minutes later.....Hey, cold air. I'm not even gonna try to figger it out right now.

And then....me an' Sadie Mae pull into a Walmart so's she can pee, I can take me some aspirin an' eat me up a "on the road" sammich. Bread ham an' ketchup. "Turn on the generator Billy Bob to run the a/c. Ha....now let me tell ya bout that. It don't run....at first. Black smoke com'n out it. Hmmmmm, it won't start up under a load. I turn everthing off. Crank up the generator to full speed, an' we got air cond.
And I still got 860 miles to go.
4:50 update....
Me an' Sadie Mae are at Rockdale Texas get'n ready to pull onto hwy 79 northeast. It's been a rather nice trip for the last couple hours. No problems....other than a hunnert 18 wheelers want to pass. I'm go'n a safe speed, they ain't.

By past experiences, I am 45 minutes ahead of schedule. On a typical day on the road, I travel the 200 miles in 6 hours. Not behind the wheel time, but with my numerous breaks included. I know how to take breaks ya know.

It's hot by some standards...92 degs. But in "da house" it feels like 102 degs. But it ain't. If I can hit my "sleep'n" camp site just before sundown, it should be much cooler.....fingers crossed. If my calculations are right, I've used right at 26 gallons of high dollar fuel. Will fill up tomorrow in Shreveport.....or there abouts.

So that's bout it, another day on the road with nuttin excit'n to spice up an' tell ya bout.

Last updadte....
I'm here. 273 miles down the road. I'm tired. Won't do that no more. See ya tomorrow.  

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Update....Postponement one more day....Grrrrrrr

How long will my post be this morn'n? That I don't know.

This is not a good morn'n. It's a freak'n terrible morn'n. I hurt like I was run over by my neighbors bulldozer an' I'm sick like that poor damn goat was sick. He got over it. I will get over it.

I have two issues. One is my tire pressure thingy don't work right. Do I have 90 pounds of pressure in that tire, or do I have 70 pounds of pressure in that tire? Nephew Joseph's tire gauge only go to 50 pounds....that don't do the job.....after hunt'n for that damn gauge for two hours. A hunnert pound gauge showed up at 10pm last night....from a neighbor up the street. Not the bulldozer owner.

Then, when I cranked up "Sally da house", something don't sound right. There's a light on on the dashboard. The engine light, and the engine is run'n kind of rough. Tinker tinker turn on turn off restart restart....now it's fine. That took right at a freak'n hour. So this morn'n, I have to look things over....why did that happen?

So, after a few little set backs, hurt'n like hell an' maybe gonna puke again, I ain't go'n nowheres today.

Now all this stuff reminds me the time (bout 1967)....I had bought a old aluminum fish'n boat with a really old Johnson outboard motor on it. The guy swore up an' down the motor was fine. I towed that dad gum boat over a hunnert miles to go catch me some fish. With the boat sit'n in the water.....I says, "what the hell", there's water in the boat. Pull it back out the water an' repair the leak. You ain't gonna believe this....duct tape (temporally) repairs leaks in boats. Loaded up that boat with all my fish'n  gear, battery an' some gasoline.....dang, it's get'n late. I missed the morn'n run of fish. I squeezes the gas filler bulb, turn the key...an' I crank that sucker up. Rattle rattle clatter clunk clunk, something ain't right. No need to say any more bout this damn boat. There were no fish caught that day.

 Get'n back to reality (2014), if'n you're retired an' you ain't happy, something is wrong. Now I ain't say'n ya gotta be happy every day....shit's gonna happen ya know. But damn, I'm so far from happy that it would take me a month to walk back. My free camp'n site...I pay $300 a month, ain't all I was hope'n for. To much family turmoil go'n on. "That's all I have to say bout that"....Forrest Gump.

Want'n to go see places? I don't do that no more. Shoot, I already been all over the south, south west from Florida to California an' I see all kinds of stuff. There ain't much left. Go'n back to the same ol' places, that don't excite me neither. I don't take pictures like I used to. No pictures....no memories. Dang, something gotta change. I'm tired of liv'n in the local land fill (dumps). "Go somewheres Billy Bob, you be fine in two days".

Ok...take me some aspirin, some Pepto, lay back an' relax for a bit. Git my mind on the finer things of life. That's my plan for the day. Tomorrow will be another day.

1pm update......Yeee har.
I got all that stuff done. Tires sit'n on 90 pounds, awning in, one slideout in, dishes done, engine crank right up....no "check engine" light, generator seems fine....I'm good to go.
Gonna eat me up a bowl of home brew beef stew soup an' probly take a nap.
And yes....I feel much better than this morn'n.


Monday, May 19, 2014

Updated.....Yeee Harrrr!!!!. Are we grumpy yet???

No Karen, I ain't remember yet....but I know it was something very important.

Oh boy, I surely should'a stay in bed this morn'n. Who's that crookit guy walk'n down the hall? All bended over. Why is he rub'n his head? Only one eye open. Hollered at poor little Sadie Mae....."git out my way".

Well dang....it was nice while it lasted. Them last 4 or 7 days was heaven at "da house". This morn'n, I'm in hell. Man my back hurts. An' I didn't do nuttin to make it hurt. That makes me all grumpy all over again. Have ya ever see a grumpy old man at 7 am??? Sheesh....stand clear.

And then....this morn'n, I got to think'n bout this dad gum trip to Georgia. What can be done to make it a "fun" trip? Just get'n on the road again, I'm think'n that ain't gonna do it. But I only think that way when I'm all grumpy an' grouchy.

Remember a few days ago I said something like..."something is gonna happen"? That was my first thought as I was brew'n me up a pot a while ago. I spilled a scoop of coffee grounds on the floor. As I was clean'n them grinds up off the floor, I raised up an' swaked my head on the coffee pot shelf. Weren't no stars an' planets or none of that stuff, but this is not a good start of a day. I'm think'n somebody is tell'n me something.

Did I tell ya bout that dad gum damn goat? Well he was sick for a few days. Just lay there on the ground an' look at me with them sad moist eyes....."help me please Billy Bob". Man....that goat was sick. Nephew Joseph pour bout half a bottle of Pepto Bismol down his throat. This morn'n that damn goat is walk'n round the yard look'n for food.

Then I got to think'n....I fed that damn goat half a pot of Billy Bob chili the other day. You don't think do ya? Hmmmm....it didn't make me sick.

Had to add two more items to my "to do" list. How can ya forget to check the tire pressures? That's very important ya know. May as well check the water in the engine battery while I'm at it. Now if'n ya got a big ol' motorhome an' ya never go nowhere, tire pressure don't make no matter. I blowed a tire one time ya know. Skeer hell slap out me.

Now....for today's last golf'n day. I'm all set. Got me some extra aspirin in my pocket, all fired up for a decent round. Look out OFM Barney....here come the Billy Bob. My intention is to hit in the low 90's or maybe in the 80's. That don't happen very often.....but, golf'n is better than...as the OFM Barney says, dig'n a ditch. I digged a ditch one time. That ain't no fun.

Ok....that's it....I'm done. Got a golf'n game on my mind....I'm gonna cuss that dad gum golf'n ball.

And that my friends, was a excit'n game of golf. Me an' OFM Barny finished the game one stroke apart. That's some good play'n. An' yes, I cuss that golf'n ball more than onest. Damn ball!!!

Then we went an' had us some of that great Mexican food again. We was both pretty hungry....I ate almost all of mine....with extra spicy red salsa. Then out on the porch, we talked bout where an' when we gonna meet up again....stuff like that. Was a good talk'n.

We parted company....me with feelings. Gonna miss the old cuss. 

Now I'm back at "da house" an' I got me some stuff to do. The stuff I was tell'n ya about.  

Sunday, May 18, 2014

It's a touchdown...team Billy Bob wins.

Some times ya just gotta sit back, shut up, an' watch what other people do an' say. I got a reason for say'n that, but at this moment in time, I have no idea what it is. I could have just deleted it. But.....you watch....it's gonna come to me in just a little bit. *think'n....where the hell was I go'n with this*

For those that missed my updates yesterday, there has been some changes. The first, and most important, I'm gonna play one more round of golf with the renowned golf ball swaker, the OFM Barney. But we gotta get something straight right now.....I very seldom win the OFM, nor is my score anywheres close to his.

That putter that I painted the other day. Well the paint is already chip'n off'n it. "Primer Billy Bob, ya didn't use primer". This is a putter I bought a whole bunch of years ago. It got it's name "Automatic" due to the fact that I rarely missed a putt under 10 feets. Then as time took it's toll, the putter took on the appearance of a rookie putter....ready for the dumpster. I learned how to very easily miss a 3 feets putts with it. The paint job made it look brand spank'n new....I was a putt'n fool with the new paint job. So yes Robert, the paint job made the difference. I love you son.

Wait a minute. We ain't supposed to be talk'n golf...."the trip Billy Bob, tell 'em bout the trip.

The other day I mapped out my entire trip on Google Maps. It had all the highways I would travel on an' all the sleep'n sites were marked. Each right bout 200 mile apart. Well, I changed that. Now the sleep'n sites are 250 mile apart. New Google Map.

I did a bit more strenuous work yesterday than I should have. It should have been done in two days, not one. But you know how the old Billy Bob works, he gets stuff done lickity split. "Ha ha right Billy Bob, two weeks late...or is it six weeks, ain't get'n stuff done lickity split". BUT with that said.....my freak'n back hurts this morn'n. *think'n....how's this gonna affect my golf game tomorrow?*  Fill the fresh water tank. Put the awning in. Bring the slide outs in. One chair in the yard. Unhook water hose. Roll up electric cord. And hook up the "billy jeep". That's what I got left to do. Well, I could do a little organization on the inside too.

Oh wait, I got to fire up the Onan generator again to check it out. Ran 3 minutes an' it shut down. Freak'n code (3-15) I don't know nuttin about. Fired up again.....hold on, it's still run'n.
Sounds Ok to me......but wait......"come on baby, do yer thing".  

So that's it for today....or I suppose it is. I sometimes do a update ya know. Now what the hell was that first line about????

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Second update .....Two hours of work rolled into two days

This morn'n I'll be just 'starting' today's blog post. Ya see, if'n I was to take the time to write about everything that's on my mind this morn'n, I would never get any work done. Did I mention....I don't like work?

Before I get into the "work" related stuff, I'll take the time to mention yesterday's golf game with the OFM Barney. For me, it was an excellent game, with a excellent score of...now listen to this...a 83. Do you know how long it's been since I hit a game in the lower 80's? That's right on the edge of professionalism. Ha....yeah I'm brag'n at a score I ain't seen in bout 5 or 6 years or so.

Now to help out Dizzy Dick on his misunderstanding of the game of golf. It don't take much skills to hit a high number of strokes to finish a game. But it does take skills to hit a low number. That's why the lowest score wins. My placement is usually in the high score range.....but only 'cause I hit a ball like a girl an' a rookie amateur.....not very far an' in the woods most the time. Old age ya know.

For the last 4 mornings, I've been get'n out of bed in the 4 to 5 pain range. Ain't all bended over try'n to brew me some life sustaining coffee. Ain't hit'n the aspirin bottle at a early hour. This is nice.

Now that the two last days for get'n all my stuff stowed an' put back together....what should have been done weeks ago, I may add a day an' leave Tuesday instead of Monday. You know I can do that....right? I'm retired, over 70 year old, I can do any dad gum thing I want to. So that decision will be controlled by what I get done today an' tomorrow.  "Well shoot Billy Bob, ya gotta git off yer ass first".

Somebody....ain't gonna mention who....Ok George?, suggested I eat me up some cajun food. Well I love cajun food, but be'n I'm gonna be in northern Louisiana, there won't be any good cajun food up that'a way. Too much influence from the "yankee" cooks up that way. Just like Texas chili an' stuff like that. Yankees put sugar, sour cream, wine...all that other yankee stuff...an' they even put turkey in it. Ya don't put turkey in Texas chili......period. I love all you yankees, but I don't like the way you guys cook down to earth southern food. Dang, I hope I didn't piss no "northerners" off.
Speak'n of grits, I don't like grits neither.
Ok....work time. I'll get back to ya as soon as I can.

11:45am.....Dang, I didn't want to be back this early. "Houston, we have a problem".
I cranked the Onan generator. The damn thing shut down after bout 3 minutes with a fault code. Some crap I know nuttin about.
Then I cranked it again. It shut down again, but with a different fault code. "Now what uya gonna do Billy Bob"???
I cranked it again. That was 5 minutes ago. Sounds just like what a Onan generator supposed to sound like. Is it fixed??? How the hell do I know???

But I did do a bunch of little stuff along with the Onan test start. More to do.....laters.
5:45pm.....Oh my god, I've made changes. Instead of driving 200 miles a day, we will be driving 250 miles a day. Tomorrow I will post a link to the new camp'n sites. Ha....one of 'em has a dump station to empty the black water tank. Oh crap, I almost forgot, I got to drain an' fill the fresh water tank.

Oh my god again....I ain't got nuttin to do. I been work'n my buttocks plumb off. Got most everthing done 'cept'n for the final pick up's an' hook ups.

I suppose since I ain't got nuttin left to do, I could play one more round of golf with my golf'n buddy Barney. Probaly Monday would be best for me since this dad gum back an' hip is up to bout a 6 1/2 to a 7 1/4. Damn, I worked too hard. 

Friday, May 16, 2014

Not one mention of golf.....hahahaha

I don't usually mention golf in my blog posts, but this morn'n I have a few tips for you amateurs out there.
A) Keep your mind on the game, not the wonderful food down at the Mexican restaurant. I suspect I lost a good 5 strokes by do'n that. Dang, I was get'n hungry.
B) When you're hitting your ball across a water hazard, use a ball that floats.

Ok, that's enough tips for one day. Yesterdays game was not one that needs any explanation.

Me an' OFM Barney sit outside the Mexican restaurant an' we discussed the finer things of life.....our future, our pasts an' our anticipations. Golf was only mentioned onest or twicest. Boy howdy, it's 4:30 pm....we talk a long time.

A quick trip to the auto parts store an' I got me a can of super shiny gloss black paint. I have a project. Paint two golf clubs.

I'm think'n I did a pretty good job  for a rookie. Will this paint jobs help my golf'n game? Well sure they will, just like a brand spank'n new club will help. Look out Barney.....today I will be using a brand spank'n new putter. Well, it looks new anyhows.

I know.....I said I was gonna take a little break on my blog posts. Well I did.....for bout one day. But I have shortened them up don't ya think? Ya see, when I start writ'n, one thing leads to another an' before ya know it, ya got a whole page of nonsense. That's what my blog is about ya know....nonsense. Now see what I just did? That last sentence makes me wanna explain exactly what nonsense is an' how it affects Billy Bob's life. But I ain't gonna tell ya.....ya gotta figger it out on your own.

Early to bed an' early to rise. That's a old say'n if'n ya didn't know. Well I ain't never live like that. I go to bed when I damn well please an' I get up somewheres before 9am. Except on a golf'n day. Yes, today is a golf'n day. Anyhows....I sleeped pretty darn good last night. No aches an' pains an' got up to bout a #4 on the pain scale. I can live with that. Swak'n a golf ball, I have some doubts.

Did ya know that older folks have a harder time mak'n important decisions? It ain't like we are young kids no more what can "do anything" an' have no pains or regrets afterwords. There's things us older folk got to worry bout. Like how far is it to Walmart, the hospital, my doctor, the pharmacy and family.....see what I'm talk'n bout. I'm not the only one.

Ok, I'm done. I know I missed something of great importance, but damn, I cain't think of what it may be. Great comments yesterday on "git off the damn phone".

Thursday, May 15, 2014

One eye is open

I'll only write a few words this morn'n. Ya see, I had me a hard night last night. Lay down an' cain't go to sleep think'n bout all the things I been think'n bout for the last two months....all rolled up into one night. I only got one eye open this morn'n, an' my dad gum hip hurts......Grrrrrrrr.

Took me a trip to Walmart yesterday. Had some meds to pick up in the pharmacy. Bought a few grocery items....stuff I'll probly never eat. I do that when I'm get'n ready to be on the road for a week.
Anyhows, on the way back to "da huse", the "billy jeep" temp thingy say "I'm hot". Somewheres up there bout 230 degs. What the hell? I pull into a convenience store an' buy me up some water for the radiator. Sit'n there in the park'n lot, the temp goes down to normal....with the engine running. I can make it home....what I do.

Oh yeah, before I forget. I had a incident at Walmart....with a nice lady. I come around a corner, an' right there in the middle of the aisle is a shop'n cart. And this nice lady is stand'n there next to the cart talk'n on her cell phone. I wait bout a minute or so think'n she would move out the way. Then I says something...."You're talkn' on your damn phone an' block'n the aisle...I need to get by". Damn was NOT the word I used, but you get the picture. Anyhows, that nice lady gives me one them looks an' proceeds to call me rude. RUDE??? LADY....talk'n on the phone an' block'n the aisle is rude. Im think'n these people wait until they enter Walmart, an' then they break out their phones. Call their neighbors, friends, baby sitters....stuff like that.  That's just my take on it. 

At "da house", I open the hood. Everything is normal, or I think it is....the electric fan is running at a low speed. Water levels are normal. Hmmmmm....that electric fan.....why is it running at low speed? I let the "billy jeep" cool down, an' then crank it up again....watch the temp come back up to normal. Then I raise the rpm's to 1500 for a few minutes. The temp climbs. The freak'n fan ain't on yet. I let the temp go a bit higher....the fan kicks in. It's still run'n too slow. I'm think'n this ain't right.
"Robert, do ya know anything bout radiator fans"????

Ok, the OFM Barney don't know it, but the old "Billy Bob" has been do'n some think'n bout golf ball swak'n. It's gonna be a new game today.....I might just possibly win for a change. I'll be starting the round using my old "guaranteed" putter. I modified it from manufactured specifications. If'n I can remember, I'll use my special "putting" ball on the greens. Ha....Barney ain't got a chance. Well, it would help if'n I could get my ball on the green.  

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Man, this Georga trip....Grrrrrrr

Ok, some people don't splain what they talk'n bout. Just write one simple line an' that's it. That leaves me to wonder'n an' ask'n questions.

Ok, here's what I'm talk'n bout.....I was read'n blogs. This guy was splain'n bout some new equipment he bought. "I bought a new chainsaw". I sit there wait'n to hear more bout that chainsaw an' why he needed a new chainsaw, what kind an' size it was....but that was it. Nuttin more was said. Then he went on to say...."I planted tomatoes today". Ok, I sit there wait'n to hear bout these maters. You know, how many he planted, what kind they was, where he planted 'em....stuff like that. I got nuttin. This guy needs to make a trip to Walmart an' buy his self a whole shop'n cart full of seasonings an' spices. Ok....that's my rant for the day. Well, maybe it wasn't THAT bad, but dang, write sumpin.

Well the dad gum weather forecasters done change everthing again. Now we ain't gonna get no rain. It's gonna be beautiful. A little bit chilly at night, but what the hell, ya sleep under blankets when it's chilly. But this weather forecast change is just what I was want'n. The golf course will be playable. Ha ha, I sneeked golf in on ya didn't I???

Speak'n of golf....I have to be reminded ya know, me an' OFM Barney may be play'n back to back games this week. Thursday an' Friday. Since this will be my last golf play'n in south Texas an' golf play'n is bout all I can do now days, why not two days in a row? That reminds me of the old squirrel hunter. I ask him if'n he still squirrel hunts. He says..."yep, all the time...I just cain't hit nuttin no more". That's me an' golf.
I'll add no spice as some people don't like my cook'n.

So how am I do'n get'n ready for that excit'n trip to Georgia? I'm think'n I'm do'n pretty good. I plotted out the trip on Google maps.....Hmmmmm, how do ya put that map on the blog???
Hold on, I'm work'n on it......."dang, how ya work this damn thing"? Grrrrrrrr....
Shoot.....I just took a pic of my laptop. This is the best I can do.
That's my Georgia trip with 4 overnight camp'n sites along the way (rest areas) at right bout 200 miles apart. That should be easy enough. Welcome to Georgia.

Just for fun, I'm gonna try this.....Google maps link

What I was gonna do yesterday, I didn't do. That seems to be the norm around here lately...."don't do nuttin". But, if'n I was want'n to, I could pull out today. But I ain't.

I was sit'n here last night. Nuttin was on the TV, so I got to think'n bout this trip. Oh wait....let me first tell ya bout my "think'n time" before I go to bed. I betcha a dollar you could never in a hunnert years guess what I was think'n bout.
Anyhows, while I was think'n bout the trip, I got all nervous an' stuff. I got lots to be nervous bout ya know....the "what if's". Years ago that kind of stuff never bother me. I would jump behind the wheel, squeal the tires an' be on my way. Not a care in the world. Ain't like that no more. Break down. Flat tire. Knock a mailbox down. Go in the ditch. Hit a elk. Shoot, ya never know. Dang, anything can happen. I was sit'n there sweat'n...something is gonna happen. But to ease everbodys minds, I'm gonna do my best that nuttin does happen.

Oh wait a minute.....Robert, I should be there either Friday or Sunday of next week. Will call you from the Georgia Information Center on I-20 at the state line. Shoot, I may even call ya when I pull out of "El Rancho Abraham". Did ya see what I did? I gave myself a extra day there.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Count down

Well shoot, yesterdays "count the change" game resulted in too low estimates....but, we have a winner.

****Practical Parsimony**** had the closest guess at $62.45. That was too low. The actual amount I received in paper dollar bills was $72.50....after paying a % fee to use the change counter thingy. Of course Frank lost the receipt....Grrrrrr Frank. "Oh look, I got me some Mexican pesos that didn't go through the machine" At the current exchange rate, I'm bout a dollar richer. Now, where can I spend 12 Mexican pesos (two 5's an' a two)???

Yesterday I posted a notice on Facebook....
"Houston, we have a problem, no contact with Atlanta in weeks. Should the landing be aborted"?
With bout 25 contacts over there in the Atlanta area (kids an' grandkids), I had expected a reply that the landing area for touchdown was clear of all obstructions. Now how the hell do ya land a lunar spaceship ("Sally da house") on a obstructed land'n strip? Do ya see what I'm get'n at? Or could it be that I'm just being "the popster"?

According to the weather forecasts, I have a choice of bout two day for my last round of golf in south Texas, Friday and next Monday. Both days the wonderful Mexican restaurant in Sinton is open. "I'll have a numero tres por favor".

With the golf'n game out of the way, if'n I hit the road Tuesday....or Monday if'n we play Friday, I will be out of Texas Wednesday morn'n. The I-10 route has been dropped from all conversation.

Now, talk'n bout interstate travel. To get out of Texas, 413 mile, I'll be travel'n on state highways...77 an' 79. I don't usually use interstates unless I'm on a destination trip. You know, gotta be there tomorrow.....or I have no choice. One year I got on a back road state highway up in Louisiana so's I would stay off the interstate an' see stuff. At a reasonable speed of bout 50/55 mile a hour. Ha...all I see was freak'n John Deere farm tractors an' "nuttin". An' the roughest road ya ever see in yer life.  Now don't get me wrong, I love John Deere tractors. But them suckers only go down the road bout 20 mile a hour. Won't be travel'n that road no more.

As departure time nears, my blood pressure increases. My worry wart brain kicks in. My nerves are on edge. I get grumpy an' grouchy. Hitch itch turns into a freak'n headache. Maybe I should take me a nap. But wait, the "to do" list stares me in the face. Two more things that absolutely HAVE to be done. "Dang Billy Bob, do something".  

Monday, May 12, 2014

Excitis, excitis, excitis....well, a little bit

Boy howdy, you go Billy Bob.

Ok, I know I said I was gonna take a break on blog writ'n, but you know how I am. I cain't keep my mouth (fingers) shut. I got stuff to say.

Hey, take a look at my "to do" list. I checked off 5 items yesterday.....but added 3. I ain't talk bout no major items 'cause I ain't got none. Well I do, but they gonna have to wait for somebody else to do them. I refolded and rearranged bout 30 dad gum pull over shirts. Why the hell do I have bout 30 pull over shirts? I gave bout 10 or 15 to Frank.
I relocated bout 350 cowboy/western paperback books. Now that was a job....where the hell do ya put 350 books?
Used spare golf'n clubs. Where to put them? Well shoot, that's easy....under the bed. Ok, now where do I put the stuff I removed to make room for the golf'n clubs? Dumpster?? Oh hell no, Billy Bob don't throw stuff away. May need it some day. "Hey, look what I found". I been look'n for that for over two years. That's the way I am folks, I keep stuff.

Oh my god, I only got bout three more things on my list. Unimportant things ya know. They don't need to be done, but "da house" would look better if'n they were.

Ok...for those that read the link yesterday bout my personalities, "the popster" made his appearance yesterday afternoon. And it costed me. Ya see, the neighbors dog comes over to talk to the damn goat an' them two burros. That's all he does...he talks. I'm sit'n here in my easy chair, look'n out the winder, watch'n that dog as he says to the goat...."you look rather pretty today...goat". Nephew shows up with a gun in his hands. "The popster" makes his appearance...."what the %*#@ (eff) are you do'n"??? I went out that door like a speed'n bullet...."ya don't shoot dogs". That's when the shit hit the fan. Had that dog been chas'n or try'n to bite the farm animals, "the popster" would have stayed in the closet. But that dog has never bothered the farm animals....never. He just come over to visit an' talk to them. Anyhows, the old Billy Bob is a piece of shit now. "Nephew Joseph, if'n you was to take the time to fix your fence, that dog would stay at home". Grrrrrrrr....I was sooo pissed.

Anyhows, a few hours later Joseph realizes he was in the wrong an' we talk for a bit. All was well.

Well shoot, why did I tell that story? Well, actually, to get it out my mind. Kept me awake last night think'n bout that poor dog.

So yes, I'm get'n excitis. If things straighten out a bit...talk'n bout my back, I'll be "on the road again" very soon. Think'n maybe this week, but I got one more golf'n game I just HAVE to play before I go. Ain't no two ways bout it, I got to play golf. Cain't hook up an' go on the weekend 'cause the propane place is closed on weekends. I'm out of propane ya know. Got to be a week day. So as far as I can predict, next week is lift off.

I ain't drove I-10 to Georgia in years. Think'n I may change my route....but I-10 an' I-20 both go to the same destination, go to the same states an' both routes are bout the same distance. Decisions, decisions. Dad gum it, there's Houston right in the way on I-10. Have ya ever drive through Houston? Boy howdy let me tell ya........YIKES! I got me some think'n to do.

Oh wait.....lookie here.
How much change is in this container? It's 6x6x2 1/2 inches of pennies, nickles an' dimes. No quarters. Frank is headed to the change exchange place to turn into crisp hunnert dollar bills. I'm gonna guess bout $45....give or take a couple dollars. What ya think???

Ok, got me a few things to do. See ya tomorrow.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

The art of think'n

Think'n sucks. Now don't git me wrong, I know the art of think'n. An' I know the in's an' out's of most my thoughts. But this think'n bout what I'm gonna do, it ain't go'n so well. Reason be'n, I don't need to think bout something I had decided on months ago. You know, go'n to Georgia, get'n my back fixed, visit with kids an' grandkids, a little golf ball swak'n, camp'n up in the north Ga. mountains (fish'n, camp fires, scream'n at grandkids)....visits every day an' free food, stuff like that.

Everything is set up on the Georgia side with a comfortable camp'n site at "Yo Mama's RV Resort". That's free camp'n if'n ya didn't know. Research has been done to find me a qualified back doctor....two possibilities. My loving son Robert polishes his golf clubs nightly in hopes of beat'n his daddy at the local country club. Note:....due to his persistence, I may "throw" one game.

I have nothing to think about on that side of the country. It's Texas I have to think about. How the hell do ya get out of Texas?? Ok, here's the deal...it's gonna take me two full days to cross the border into Louisiana, spending my first night 213 miles up the road in Rockdale, Texas....or thereabouts. Did you know it's over 400 miles from south Texas to Louisiana, by the route I'm taking...77, 79, I-20? Damn Texas is big.

I've used up bout all the "weather" excuses I can muster in one year. Although, there is still another storm to hit here very very soon. I don't drive in high winds and torrential rains. Although I have in the past. But not intentionally. Tornadoes within a couple miles, trucks turn over on the highway, lightening strik'n a fence I'm parked next to, rain so hard ya cain't see a hunnert feet.....stuff like that.

Had me a long talk with Mama Nature last night. I persuaded her into allowing me a couple weeks of good weather for this trip. *check weather thingy* Look'n good Billy Bob...after this next storm front headed this way. Was 97 degs yesterday with enough humidity you think you gonna die. But that's a normal temp for where I'm located this time of year. It gets hot in south Texas ya know.

Ok, today I will attempt to do a few things. Things I was gonna do a week ago. Or to be more accurate, a month ago. Dishes are done, so don't suggest I warsh dishes. Damn, look'n at clock, I ain't got much time. Golf comes on in a couple hours an' if'n ya cain't "play" golf, ya "watch" it. That's a PGA golf'n rule if'n ya didn't know.

Today's post was gonna be a one paragraph post. YEE HAW!!!! I succeeded. Actually, today's post was gonna be bout my three personalities. Throwed that in the dumpster....here's the link.


Saturday, May 10, 2014

1000 mile thoughts

My god Billy Bob...."What   the   hell   are   you   think'n"???

It all boils down to one thing. Can I drive "Sally da house" 1000 miles? That's what I been think'n bout. An' I ain't got no answers yet. I betcha a dollar I can, but it may take me a week or so. Then I got to think'n...."well yes you can drive that far....just don't leave today". (All crookit again this morn'n)

I thought bout tell'n ya a story this morn'n, but shoot, I done told ya all of 'em. Now what some people do in a case like this, is to provide a link to the old blog post bout the story. I don't do that. You do know don't ya, that ever time ya tell a story, it changes a little. I call that "added spice". It don't really change the drift of the story, but it makes it a better read. "Now where the hell did I leave my spice bottles"?

I knew I was gonna do this. Today there was to be no post from the old Billy Bob. But I'm sit'n here an' I got stuff go'n through my mind. I gotta tell ya bout it.

Last night, while I was sit'n over there on the couch think'n bout that 1000 miles, I got to think'n...."if'n ya hit down on the ball Billy Bob, it will go up in the air an' land on the green". Then I got to think'n bout the weather. You know we had some rain don't ya? Well, there's more com'n this way. That means the fairways are gonna be wet an' muddy, cain't drive the golf cart out to your ball. Big ol' mud puddles out there. Ya gotta walk. So golf ball swak'n will be delayed until somewheres around Thursday or Friday....next week.

Ok, that's where my thoughts was at yesterday. What we gonna think about today?
"Psssst Billy Bob, a story, write a story". Maybe tomorrow......did I ever tell ya bout my three personalities?

Friday, May 9, 2014

Serious think'n......ha ha, right

Ok....I got me some serious think'n to do. I don't do serious unless nuttin else works. Nothing is working.

For the next few days, I'm gonna kind of lay back on my blog. Ain't say'n I ain't gonna read blogs, I'm just gonna cut back on my blog..."Billy Bob's Place"....write a little bit an' do me some think'n. Like I did last night after I turn the TV off. I got down to think'n bout the important stuff on my mind for bout 30 minutes.....an' BABAM, I was think'n bout all them golf'n balls I hit in the water., An' them limbs I been knock'n off'n the trees, or swak'n a ball over there in the woods. That's gonna change. "Look out fairways".

Hang with me folks, 'cause my blog is very important to me. It's a special time, special to me, I get to sit here an' let my mind wander to the finer things in life. You know, do'n stupit stuff, fall'n down, get'n hurt, fix'n broke stuff....my stories. All that stuff is gonna happen again, but it's gonna take some time to straighten some things out.  

Thursday, May 8, 2014

I want to go to Georgia

And there was once a time.......2+2 in some cases add up to 4. But....in today's society, 2+2 can equal any number. "Where the hell that come from Billy Bob, what are you think'n"?

See what I'm talk'n bout, my mind is a wonderous thing. I was think'n bout golf an' that is what my mind said. So we won't be talk'n bout no golf today. If things go as planned, this will be a short post. Sissy would bet on this.....I betcha a dollar.

This morn'n was one of the worstest mornings I've had in a long time. It's got to be something to do with my freak'n number bed. High pressure don't work. Low pressure don't work. An' mid pressure don't work neither. I don't hurt till morn'n. An' this morn'n, I would have just as well welcomed not wake'n up at all to the aches an' pains I did wake up to. After a couple hours, I'm good to go. Well, kind of sorta.

I didn't mention it, but a couple days ago...I was all excitis. Think'n bout my trip to Georgia an' all that stuff. Kids, grandkids, free food, waited on hand an' foot....get'n my back fixed by some quack doctor that don't even know my name. Stuff like that. Then I turn on the weather forecasts. Took that excitis right down the drain. Gurgle gurgle gurgle.....poooof, gone just like that.
"Mama Nature, you really piss'n me off". Ya see, there's a (another) front headed this way right now. High winds, an' buckets of rain for the next few days....an' I don't know what else. Hail was mentioned.  An' not far behind this one, is another one. Oh wait, all that has changed. Dad gum weather people don't "no nuttin". "Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob"?

Have ya ever tried to take back time? You know, go back to a time when ya felt good an' could do most anything ya want to. That what I been do'n for the last few years....an' it ain't happen yet. Accept'n the way I am today ain't gonna happen. I'm depressed 90% of the time. The other 10% I'm play'n golf an' eat'n Mexican food. An' that just makes me wanna lay down an' give slap up.

Fish'n??? No, I don't think I can do that no more. Well, maybe sit'n in a chair sip'n up a cup on the bank I could fish. But that ain't fish'n. Men don't sit on the freak'n bank wait'n for a fish....they go find the fish. The "bubba boat"? Don't see no way I can get in an' out of that thing. "Just think bout all the fish'n license money you gonna save Billy Bob". Shut the hell up Dilbert, I love fish'n.

But....I can still sit here an' tell ya stories of yesteryear. An' they not "tall tales". A little spice is added for flavor, but they nuttin but the truth. Problem is, I'm lose'n my freak'n mind. Now....what was we talk'n bout??? 


Wednesday, May 7, 2014

I ain't no farmer

I like chicken. Fried good an' crisp. Chopped up in a chicken noodle tater vegetable soup. Flame grilled. Steamed with cabbage an' carrots. China man sweet an' sour. There are so many ways to cook a chicken it ain't no wonder why  "I like chicken".

I raised me some chickens one time. Back in bout 1969, or somewheres round there. I bought me up a batch of little bitty ones.....'cause they was cheap. Back in them days, we ate a lot of rice. We runned out of chicken foods, so's the wife fed 'em rice. That rice swelled 'em up. But it didn't kill 'em. The damn neighbors dog did. All of 'em. That was my chicken grow'n experience.

I like pork too. So back in bout 1970, or somewheres round there, I bought two little pig puppies. Put 'em in a little pen next to the garage. In two months they double in size. Think'n pork chops. The damn garbage men stole 'em. That was my pig grow'n experience.

I like beef too. Ain't never raised me no beef. But....one day back in bout 1971, or somewheres round there, me an' bro in law spied this cow puppie out in the field. We rounded up that little cow...bout a hunnert pounds or so an' herded that sucker up into my almost new Ford refrigeration service van. It should be noted at this time, beer consumption alters the minds of most law abiding citizens into "do'n stupit stuff". Like cattle rustle'n. A hang'n offense in Texas....still on the books I think. 

That cow puppie done went plumb ass crazy. Mooo'n up a storm an' rais'n all kinds of destructive hell. Tear'n stuff up. I got to get this damn cow out my van. Scratches, cut an' bruises, we went our merry way on down the highway. Minus one cow. That was my cow rais'n experience.

 Today will be a hair rais'n experience. Me an' OFM Barney will meet up at the golf ball swak'n place. Expected in the forecast is high winds. That means many many extra strokes just to get on the green. Have ya ever played a round of golf in hurricane force winds? Really, it's quite exciting.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Rest area in Mississippi....nightmare

It's just crazy the way things are go'n for me. I have a good day of weather an'.....kerpowww, the wind blows a hunnert mile a hour. I have a day of sunshine an' swoooosh, the sky is filled with clouds. But wait....this is just the beginning. They talk'n bout rain. Tons of rain. Not today though.

Well crap, I'm all bended over again this morn'n. *think'n bulldozer* I don't know what's go'n on, but dad gum it, this sucks. The little bit of exercise I get at the golf course has been help'n somewhat....walk'n bout a half a mile an' swing'n stiks at that little ball. It just don't last. If you're wonder'n bout why I mention my back problems so much, it's 'cause I ain't hurt like this in over 10 years. Talk'n bout it gives me a little relief....think'n they gonna fix it in Georgia.

So....speak'n of Georgia. I was lay'n in bed last night....had me a freak'n nightmare. I'm sit'n in a I-20 rest area an' cain't go on no further. Then the cops come along. This is where it get creepy. They handcuff me....after throw'n me to the ground. I have long hair, so naturally, I'm a drug dealer sell'n my wares out of the rest area. An' I got guns....so they pull high powered assault rifles on me.....an' call for backup. They load my guns an' ammunition into a armored US military attack vehicle. They taze me with 50,000 volts of electricity. An' I ain't even half way to Georgia. I may bypass Mississippi on my trip to Georgia.
That when I waked up in a cold sweat. Apparently when they knock me to the ground, it cause me to get a severe leg cramp.

Ok, we got that rest area stop out of the way, let's talk bout what I'm gonna do in Georgia. You know I'm go'n there to get my back worked on an' be around family if'n something don't work out right. Maybe get me some free food too. In the past (14 years) I didn't do nuttin bout my back 'cause I was think'n it could only get better. And it would eat up too much of my "adventure" travel time if'n I did anything. I figger that was probly a mistake. But the "adventure" travel time is still on my mind. What if??? What if I get me a "quack" doctor an' he cuts the wrong thing an' I end up in a wheelchair or something like that. I don't know bout anybody else, but I would be skeered slap to death. Back surgery ain't a walk in the park ya know....accord'n to Google. But I gotta do something.

So why ain't I left Texas yet? Weather. That's it....weather.   

Made that trip to Walmart yesterday. Was windy as hell driv'n down the road a hunnert mile a hour (65). Buy'n up some groceries an' stuff. I walked the aisles just look'n at stuff. Oh look, a new coffee pot. For $72 I think not. Mc Donalds in Walmart....let's eat a hamburger an' some fries. YUK....Mc Donalds sucks. Too early to renew my prescriptions.....after wait'n in line for 15 minutes. Then I hit the grocery section. Walk almost every aisle in there too....just look'n ya know. Three hours later I'm back at "da house". I only spended $92.....I gotta lay down. My back hurts an' that dad gum right foot......YIKES, it's kill'n me. I don't wear no shoes ya know.

I got that new Walmart special "temp thingy" installed. It works just fine. Or I suppose it does. When I got home, the old one showed 96 degs outside. The new one showed 89. I'm think'n that's a improvement....an' no more freak'n stress from a temp thingy that don't show the right temp.

That's it....I'm done. 

Monday, May 5, 2014

"MAN" stuff

My god, it's absolutely beautiful out there. This is the kind of weather that every retired guy loves to see. *think'n, "I wonder if women enjoy beautiful weather too"* "I see what ya did there Billy Bob". I'm being very careful how I word this so's I don't run any my beautiful wimmins off this morn'n. But today, it's about men.

Ya see, what I was get'n at is that "guys" like to go outside an' do stuff. Outside, not inside. Grow gardens an' stuff with great big ol' maters bout the size a basketball. Cucumbers an' onions. Watermelons. Crank up a hunnert horsepower JD lawn tractor. Cut 10 acres of lawn they just cut 3 days ago. Cut down trees just to hear a chainsaw run'n full bore. Wood chips a fly'n. Warsh an' wax the truck, not the wife's car. That's what men do. They go outside an' do "MAN" stuff. Included in "MAN" stuff, is fish'n, boat'n, golf'n, shoot'n guns an' blow'n stuff up (rednecks). Set'n BBQ grills on fire. Then there's the occasional trip to town to purchase items for the above mentioned "MAN" stuff. Bout twice or three times a week. You know, Walmart, Bass Pro Shop, Ace Hardware, Home Depot....stuff like that. Pick up a case of cheap beer an' some hot dogs for the grill on the way home.

That just bout covers what most men like to do....when it's beautiful outside. They don't intentionally jump into maintenance an' fix'n stuff unless it has something to do with the "MAN" stuff. Rake'n the yard an' warsh'n the wife's car is for the hired neighbor kid.

I waked up again this morn'n. Late of course. Yeee haw!!! But I don't feel all that good. I know it ain't from all the work I did yesterday 'cause all I did was put some water in the batteries an' brew up a big pot of chili soup. There's a difference between chili an' chili soup ya know. Ya eat chili soup with a spoon an' ya eat chili with a fork. Did it come out good?? Well, apparently it didn't 'cause I only eat one bowl. "Ya left out the jalapenos Billly Bob, ya gotta have jalapenos". Sheesh, I know that. I was make'n chili soup, not chili. Chili soup ain't supposed to set ya on fire.

Ok, I'm done with this dad gum Walmart special temp thingy. Gonna go buy me a brand spank'n new one. This one never shows the right temp. Yesterday it was off by 6 degs...accord'n to another China made temp thingy...an' the local weather channel on TV. I been fight'n this thing for two years now. That's unwelcomed an' unnecessary stress. I don't like stress.   

One more thing an' I go to go. Run slap out of coffee grinds an' you know, the old Billy Bob ain't gonna go without his coffee. Dang, I hate to go to Walmart on a freak'n holiday. (due to the warmer temps, Sadie Mae stays at "da house" in air conditioned comfort) That reminds me the time......I was at Walmart. Sadie Mae was in the car. It was 75 degs, the wind was blow'n, all the winders rolled down 6 inches an' Sadie Mae was sound asleep in the front seat. Stand'n next to the car is this lady with a sweater on. She commence to chew me out for "Sadie Mae is gonna die". Ok, I have my own theory on that. If ya got to wear a sweater, it's cool enough to leave yer dog in the car. 80 degs is my limit....with the winders roll down. Sadie Mae loves me.

Out of here....it's get'n late....."do something Billy Bob".

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Cinco de Mayo blues......no golf ball swak'n

Ok, every time I think I'm gonna write a excit'n post, something goes wrong.

Yesterday I was all excitis bout check'n stuff off'n my "to do" list. I had it lay'n right over there with a fresh sharpened pencil for the check marks.

I grab holt to a couple items lay'n on the floor an' out the door I go....put them where they belong. Oh crap, the rear compartment door is fall'n off....or something like that. I look it over. Poor design (Elmers glue), very poor design. There ain't nuttin hold'n the top of the compartment door to "da house" but some kind of glue stuff. "Can ya fix it Billy Bob or do we break out the duct tape"? Well yeah I can fix it. Where's my drill an' some screws? Two freak'n hours I'm tell'n you....two freak'n hours. Chores such as this are much easier when ya got somebody to help hold stuff in place. I didn't.

Anyhows, my "to do" list is no shorter than what it was yesterday. Ya see, professional golf came on the TV at 2pm. Ya don't work when professionals are play'n golf.

I hope some of ya can understand when I say stupit stuff. Like I did yesterday. Today I am excitis. Mood changes happen when ya don't feel too good. You know, like when ya cain't hardly walk an' have a ton of stuff to do. Damn this back problem. Or when you're watch'n boxing on the TV an' the guy you're root'n for is get'n his ass whooped. Or when ya spill a full cup of coffee all over the couch. Yes I did all them things yesterday. Took me a freak'n hour to clean the couch.

Bout the less air in my Number bed. I'm think'n I slept pretty good last night. I waked up bout 7am an' feel good all over. "I'll get up in 15 minutes, brew me up a pot of delicious coffee an' get some stuff done today". WRONG....I fell back to sleep....got up at 9:30. Back hurted, coffee sucks, an' I don't feel like do'n nuttin.

Today an' tomorrow is "cinco de mayo", a Mexican holiday, celebration, beer fest, fiesta throughout south Texas. Reach in your pockets, break out some change....somebody gonna get rich. That's what it's turned out to be, just like all the other holidays in America....feed the rich. That's the American way ya know.
Google "cinco de mayo" for the true meaning of this celebration of the masses.

What about Walmart? Sheesh, I don't want to go. What about smokes? Sheesh, I don't want to go. Ya see, there are thousands an' thousands of party people all over the place. I don't want to get involved with that crowd. Wait'n in lines, get'n all grouchy, say'n stuff.....you know what I'm talk'n bout. Maybe tuesday would be a better day.

Today's number one priority is to check the battery water in "da house". If that's all I get done, I've had a successful day. Been put'n it off for too long. Damn I hate check'n battery water.

I'm done......have a nice "cinco de mayo" in your hometown. 

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Simple cook'n...one pot at a time

How short can I make a blog post? I don't know, but let's give it a try.

I didn't feel too bad when I got out of bed this morn'n. A little bend over an' some pain. But first, let's go back to yesterday. Not to dwell very long on golf ball swak'n, but I had me a excellent game yesterday. I was get'n the ball on the green in two hits, some by accident....or just plain dumb luck, an' I was a putt'n fool. The finer details I'll leave to your imagination. I struck a very nice 87....that's a 15 handicap if'n ya didn't know.

But anyhows, that weren't the direction I was gonna go this morn'n. Ya see, golf ball swak'n has been make'n my back feel better, but only during my "out of bed" time. I get up every morn'n all bended over....cain't straighten up till I have me some coffee an' sit here for a while. "The bed Billy Bob, the bed is hurt'n your back". Well shoot, that's what I been think'n too. So last night, I let some air out my bed. Probly too much, but I had to give it a try. It helped. NEXT!!!

Oh no, I got places I need to go. But not today....maybe, undecided. Walmart is top of the list, but if'n I run out of smokes before I make it to Walmart, the liquor store in Port Aransas will be top of list.

Since I no longer get free food ($100 contribution) from the house, I will be do'n some cook'n in "da house". An' that got me to think'n...."what ya gonna cook Billy Bob"? I like to cook simple one pot meals. Ones that will last bout 3 or 4 days. Less dish warsh'n ya know, an' you know how I feel bout warsh'n dishes. So last night during a long period of nuttin on the TV, I drawed me up a cook'n list. Just to be do'n something ya know. Dag gum it Billy Bob....ya hit the wrong button.  Published too soon.

Now that's what I'm talk'n bout....simple an' easy.

Speak'n of eat'n. Remember a while back I tole ya I needed to go on a diet 'cause I couldn't button my britches no more? Well I can now. My diet worked an' I saved bout $200 for new bigger britches. Bout one more inch off'n my belly an' I'll be a perfect specimen. "Ha right Billy Bob....you messed up think'n like that".

Then I sat there an' got to think'n bout my Georgia trip. Dang, I got to get excitis or something. I'm almost perfectly happy just sit here in Sinton....on a scale of 1 to 10, a 6...an' I don't have to drive a thousand miles.

Ok, that sounds like I don't even want to go....but I do....I just ain't excited. Little by little I'm get'n some stuff done....little stuff. Oh crap, I still got to go get propane an' fill the fuel tank. I hate gas stations. Poor design for great big ol' long motorhomes. This trip will require 3 gas stops if'n I don't want to run out before I get there. And then, I'm still undecided where I want to camp. I am welcome to camp at "Yo Mama RV Resort", but dad gum it....I just don't know. Parked in the driveway, water hose don't reach, limited electric (15 amps) an' no sewer connection. I'm get'n too old for this kind of stuff. But I'll camp there anyhows. Family ya know. Problem solved.   
Note: Closest dump station is over there in Alabama at the Alabama Rest Area.

Ok, this is bout as short as I can make this post. I got things to do. What I get done is another question, but what ever it is, it's a success. See ya laters. Oh wait, what time does golf'n come on the TV?