Halloween scares...

We lived in a big ol' beach house up on stilts, 10 foots off the ground. It was Halloween an ol' Billy Bob gonna scare me some kids what is com'n down the street all dress up in costumes. I were dress up as a mummy, strips of a bed sheet wrap round all my limbs an' stuff. Damn it were hot in that get up. At the bottom of the steps leading up to the "goodie" candy bowl at the top. I placed some old junk from the back yard and set my old raggedy "sit'n" chair right in the middle. I sits there, not mov'n a muscle in anticipation of my first customer of the night. Hee hee, hee....this gonna be fun.

My first customers was a couple little boys bout 4 or 5 year old. Mamas is stand'n out at the street. They walks up giv'n me the eye when all a sudden I jumps up. That was all it took....them kids was gone....pooof, just like that. One them mamas was so upset, she call me a "sum bitch".....and whole bunch other choice words. Not gonna scare no "little" kids no more.

Then here they come, bout 5 little girls in their prissy girlie outfits.....all of age, bout 8, 9 or 10 year old. They look at me giggl'n an' pok'n fun at me as I sit there like a rock....never move. Up the stairs they go say'n "trick or treat". That when ol' Billy Bob come slap alive, mak'n gurgling sounds, snarling and headed for the steps. That was about the same time when them little girls come alive too. They was scream'n to high heaven, look'n for an escape route off'n them porch steps. Wouldn't surprise me if every one of them little girls was pee'n their pants by now. One little girl fall slap off the steps an' hit the ground a runn'n......bout a hunnert mile a hour. No more scare'n little girls on the steps.

Then there was the little "Darth Vader" youngster. He were all by his self, strutt'n his stuff.....his light saber swing'n side to side. I jumps straight up, arms frail'n, right in front that boy....boy howdy. That when he cut loose with that sword thingy an' beat hell out me with it. Sheesh!!! No more scare'n kids with sticks, baseball bats or light sabers.

Yesterday old Billy Bob cut loose and tackled the nasty job of clean'n that bedroom. I mean to tell ya, it were a mess. Three bags full of stuff what I ain't never use or see in years and ain't gonna never use in the years to come. Pull out drawers stuffed with god only know what.....or why. Billy Bob is clean'n house. Three drawer slide plastic thingys had to be replaced where all that weight had busted them into little pieces. Cheap junk. That was a job I don't want to ever do again.

Then here come old "pesky neighbor" Wayne. Right in the middle of fix'n that last broke drawer. See what I mean bout "pesky"? And then here come some more "pesky's". In no time flat, "da porch is fill with people talk'n bout some special star out there, meteorites, solar flares.....what the hell???  No offense Dizzy, but old Billy Bob ain't got no interest in that kind of stuff. I would rather plant rocks an' watch 'em grow into boulders. Now don't get me wrong, I like to look at the moon an' all them gazillion stars up there, but I ain't gonna be talk'n bout them.

Today is solar panel delivery day an' old Billy Bob ain't even ready to install them. There's decisions to be made. Do I leave the one good solar panel on the roof along with the 2 new ones or do just install the new ones and dumpster the old? More on that after I go sit on "da porch", sip a cup and do some think'n.

Poor old Wayne has got his self a "mama hen". That woman don't give him a chance to do nuttin on his own. Wayne has got to do stuff by his self if'n he's gonna make it. Ya can't depend on someone to do everything for ya. That's all I have to say bout that. She already pissed at me.

Ok...."da porch" time....an' some think'n. 

Work work work....that's all I ever do...

First off is "a good morn'n to all ya". All Ya???? Now what the hell is "all ya"? That would probably fit in the category of "y'all", "youse" and "you all". What ever your preference...."Good Morning".


If "all ya" ain't notice, there seems to be a remodel craze go'n on. I just got back from Barney's place (OFM) an' he done went and tore out half his kitchen dinette. Bought him up one them office chairs like old Billy Bob done. Now we can both sit back in comfort while we write our blogs and watch TV.

One thing what is hard to do is to answer questions. In some cases, a simple yes or no is just not enough. Ya got to splain stuff....or in my case, I gotta write another story. I'm referr'n to a question I got a couple days ago about living on a boat. Now how the hell can I write a seven year long story bout liv'n on a boat? But....to appease my audience, the old Billy Bob will attempt to scratch the surface of being a "sailboat captain".

It was in late 1995 when I packed my last box of belong'ns aboard Coyote tied up out there on the end of dock #1. She weren't the same boat I fell in love with a few years before, but I had a dream and she could once more be a beautiful "pirate ship". I met a few neighbors, had a couple rum coolers, ate some dock fix'ns and settled in to a new life on the water.
JoJo was a couple months old by now and took to boat life right off. Run'n rould check'n stuff out....mark'n his territory. Drizzle here, drizzle there....."this is mine". JoJo made his first dive into the water one dark night while we was sit'n in the cockpit enjoy'n a soothing "rum cooler" and admiring our new home. KERSPLUSH....dog in da water. "Quick, gimme a flashlight". How the hell ya gonna see a black dog in black water in the black of night? All I hear is his little feet slpash'n in an attempt to find some safe haven. When the light finally found him, he was sitting on the rudder stick'n out the water by a couple inches. He was shivering cold.....glad to be back on board.

Tools was broke out to remove all the teak decks that had seen their better days. Thousands of dollars worth of useless deteriated teak was toted to the dumpster. Coyote now had teakless fiberglass decks. Brightwork was sanded and refinished with 7 to 8 coats of varnish. Coyote was look'n good. In the mean time "Barnacle Bill" had been gifted with a "captains" cap what he wore proudly as he strutted up and down the docks. Yes, I strutted. I was a Captain ya know.

My first winter on board Coyote was spent try'n to keep warm. It's cold on the water ya know. Blankets was bought, a sleep'n bag, a couple electric heaters and another bottle of Pussers rum. I were set. Winter passed quickly into spring. Life was good. Well, it wasn't really THAT good. We had storms....bad storms. Pelting rains, blow'n hurricane force winds an' cold northers make yer bones shiver all over. But work continued come rain or shine. Coyote was look'n good and Barnacle Bill is get'n seasoned into an "old salt". Learn all kind of nautical terms, like head, galley, salon, berth......and a few what I won't mention here. Life was good.

I'll leave it at that for this morning. Just the beginning of an adventure never to be forgotten.

Boy howdy let me tell ya, liv'n in an RV is just like liv'n on a boat.....work, work, work. The biggest part of yesterday was spent throw'n out junk and clean'n. Another bag to the dumpster an' a vacuum cleaner bag full to the brim. Where all that sand, dirt an' grime come from? I only do this onest a year. Other times it's just touch and go. Some peole don't realize how much work is involved in clean'n an RV. There ain't that many places to pack stuff away, so the old catch all system is used.

This will be my main project for the day. Where I gonna put all that stuff? That printer? Makes perfect prints of stuff, does photos great.....dumpster. That is unless I can find a place to put it and use it for photos only. But that would mean I would have to move my other laptop so's I could hook it up. Gotta think on that.

Ok, it's time for Billy Bob to get busy....work, work, work.....

How time flys....

Boy howdy, here it is the ending of another month already. And won't be long till the end of another year. Where does time go so fast?

I were sit'n here sip'n a cup an' got to think'n bout what I was do'n a few years back and why I ain't do'n the same stuff today. Well honestly I can tell ya....what I was do'n back then was just slap ass dangerous and nobody in their right mind would be do'n stuff like that. If I was to attempt to relive stunts I done "a few years back", I would probably be dead before tomorrow morn'n.

Most my life has been an adventure, well beyond just an experience or a "normal day". If I didn't end up at the end of a day either in a hospital or jail, I had a good day. No I'm not a freak'n criminal or a daredevil like that dude what jump motorcycles over a hunnert school busses.....break'n bones an' stuff. But when old Billy Bob walk upon the scene, something was gonna happen.  You've hear me say many times, "life without adventure is just an experience". Well that the way I have lived my life since childhood.

When I lived on the farm, I was a terror to all the farm animals. They see me com'n, they was outta here. I was a rock throw'n fool. Could knock a squirrel out a tree on the fist throw. The other boys kept there distance when I had a supply of rocks near by. I rode pigs in the pig pen. Make 'em squeal like a pig. Have ya ever been bit by a pig? Jump up on the back of a new born calf out in the barn yard. Ride that sucker like a rodeo star. Mama cow beat my ass though. Run me slap under a barbwire fence....bout a hunnert mile a hour....me yell'n "MOMS" loud I could. Somewheres back there on my butt I still got the scar. Jump off the smoke house right in the middle of a old lumber pile. Put a nail plumb out the top my foot what the doctor pour alcohol and stuff like that. Now that was an experience I'll never forget.  Pull a fox out his hole down there by the creek bank. Well yeah he bite me a good'un. Doctor put more that god awful alcohol on it. Jump on that old ugly dog what was sleep'n under my tree. He bite me too. Back to the doctor and his alcohol.  Old Tom cat put a number on me a few times too. More alcohol.  Have ya ever jump out a tree swing....backwards....downhill....into a little creek....cuts an' bruises??? Still more alcohol. These tid bits of information were just the beginning of "The Adventures of Billy Bob". Yeah old Billy Bob was a "wild child" an' he weren't even 7 year old yet.

The 2 weeks of feel'n good done up an' went away. Ya see, I were all fired up to get my work list down a couple more items an' it hit me.....don't do nuttin....hurt pain agony....lazy. But I did do something anyhows. Marked the dash air off'n my list. But as far as the rest of the list....nuttin. Billy Bob don't feel good. Hurt all over. Smell like Ben Gay....eat'n aspirin like they was candy. 

Look'n round "da house".....what the hell do I keep that stuff for? So far I have "dumpstered" two great big ol' bags of stuff and from the looks of things, two more to follow right shortly. Then I got to think'n, why do men keep worthless junk stuff like that in the first place when they know damn well they'll never use it? Makes no sense to me, but it sure looks purty sit'n up there on a shelf. Some is memories....the rest is junk.  God help us poor junk collect'n rednecks.

Holy crap.....

Ok, what the hell is go'n on? I waked up this morn'n thought I were gonna freeze to death. Well yeah, it's 32 degs outside and 49 in "da house"....turn on some heat.

First things first this morning. Ain't nobody even looked at that piece of wood. All they see was a little coyote hang'n up there on the wall next to it. That coyote has a story behind it, so we gonna attempt to tell a story this morning.

Back in about 1987 or there abouts, I moved back to Port Aransas, Texas from a miserable 10 years in West by God Virginia. In the evenings I would take a casual stroll on the docks in the marina look'n at boats an' stuff....dream'n. There on dock #2 sat this beautiful "pirate ship", a 41 foot Formosa ketch. I fell in love with this boat. In the cockpit sat an older feller with a bottle of Captain Morgan in his hand and a proud "captains" smile on his face. The teak woodwork glistened in the evening sun, the teak decks were the color of sand. She sat high in the water, her masts reaching to the heavens. What a beauty. "Coyote" was her name.

As time passed, my deck walking gradually diminished to once a month....and then to once every 6 months. In the mean time, the older feller had fell overboard and drowned from over indulgence of the local brew. After a few years, Coyote had lost her tone. Her brightwork was now deteriorated, her teak decks had turned a dirty gray. She was dying a sad death.

Then one evening while walk'n the docks, I seen Coyote sitting all alone at the end of the dock....a sad sight to behold. I took a stroll down that way and low an' behold, on her boat davits hung a 'for sale' sign. My heart started pound'n in anticipation of ownership of this once glistening beautiful "pirate ship".

Arrangements were made for monthly payments and "Barnacle Bill" moved aboard in 1995 with tools, a gallon of varnish and a little dog name of JoJo. But a mascot was needed....other than a dawg. What could be a better mascot, other than a dawg, than a stuffed "Wile E. Coyote"? I searched every store I could think of look'n for my elusive mascot. But none was to be found. Then Christmas day, my son Daniel handed me a package....his gift to me, a stuffed "Wile E. Coyote". He hung around in the boat for 7 years, hung around in "Alice" for 3 1/2 years and now hangs around in "Sally da house". To a kid, he would be a toy, but to old Billy Bob, he is a memory of 7 years of a wonderful life living on a 41 foot Formosa ketch. Life was good.




 

Work list gets smaller

Good morn'n all you wonderful people. "What the hells wrong with you Billy Bob? Ya never say good morn'n to no body". Well shoot, I feel good this morn'n, so good morn'n.

Had us a whole bunch of wind come thunder'n through Deming last night. Rain was on all sides of us, but not a drop at "da house". Was 41 degs this morn'n, but it was nice an' cozy inside. I rekon tonight will drop into the 30's with the cold front. Damn....that gonna be cold.

See there, I tole ya. that board right next to Wile E. Coyote is the board old Billy Bob done replace. Can ya tell if it's a new board? Very close observation you will see that it's not oak like I wanted, but I bet ya a quarter you can't see it from your house. Only I will know for sure.

Remember that wireless printer what ain't hook up wireless?  Well let me tell ya right now....it's a piece of crap for printing photos. Junk. Throw it in the dumpster.....that what I want to do with it. But then again, I didn't read the directions for printing high quality photos. "Break out the book Billy Bob....read".

Another comment popped up bout them damn solar panels. Let me see if I can set everyones minds at ease. One of the two is putting out right at 90% capacity @ 7.0 amps....that's good. Now the one in question is putting out 2.2 amps. Each one checked separately through the charge controller. No mistake, one is not producing rated amperage. Flash.....new solar panels will be shipped today or tomorrow. That what the guy tole me anyhows.

Ok, gotta go over and check on "pesky neighbor" Wayne. Be back laters.

Wored slap out...

Old Billy Bob ain't miss'n. He just been soooo busy he ain't had no time for blogg'n an' stuff like that. Had to take a break.

Couple day ago, yesterday morn'n me an' Sadie Mae jumps in "that jeep" for a trip to town. Turn the key an' it do nuttin. Now what the hell? Brand spank'n new battery slap dead'er an' a door knob. Charge that sucker up an' away we go. Stop by and visit my financial adviser. His advice was to quit spend'n money what ya ain't got. So's I borrow some change from one account and put it in another.....just like Obama do. Then I went on a spend'n spree, shell'n out twenty dollar bills to everybody. Upholstery guy gonna fix my couch just like in a plush Prevost couch. Went by the lumber yard and bought me up some boards an' stuff to replace the rotted out board an' stuff. Pick up some refrigerant for the dash air conditioner. Back to "da house" fix'n stuff.

Did I tell ya i done blow up another meter what I was check'n them solar panels with? Holy cows, that sucker says....poooof. But anyhows, the solar panels are headed for the dumpster soon as the brand spank'n new ones get here.

5pm....
Took care of all the business of the couch. Changed color tough. I can do that ya know. In about a week the Carmal leather will be here and 3 days after that I will have a brand spank'n new couch in "da house".

Solar panels have been ordered. Ain't nuttin more to say bout that.

Installed the new wood on the slide out what was rotted on the end......mark that off the list.

I'm gonna sleep on it, but since I've spent this much $$$$, I may as well spend another $400. What ya think, HUH????

Wayne's recovery

Boy howdy' old "pesky" Wayne sure do light up when I tell him bout all the people root'n for him and wish'n him well.

It didn't take long for Wayne to get back to his old "pesky" tricks. Here I were sit'n at the table drink'n my first cup this morn'n an' here he come hobbl'n cross the yard to "da porch". Big grin on his face. I think he's very pleased with his progress. I ask him if he wanted the golf cart over there so's he could ride back and forth. Nope he says, he wants to walk. He's settled in at home just like he was never "miss'n in action". Five months is a long time. We may go play a round of golf ball swak'n this week if'n it ain't too cold. Give Wayne a chance for fresh air, the smell of fresh cut grass and drive the cart a hunnert mile a hour. He'll like that I'm sure. Maybe even let him swak a few hisself.

Cold front gonna be here in a couple days. Hot damn,  I gotta get out of here before the first freeze. But I don't think I'm gonna make it. This is New Mexico and we have some strange weather here. Supposed to drop into the 30's at night with this front. That when my water hose freeze up an' I have to use dog water for my morning coffee. Most time I just let 'er drip at night and have water come morning, but sometimes I forget. And my memory ain't get'n no better with each passing day.

Spend the entire morn'n mess'n with that solar panel. Crank up that brand spank'n new meter an' everything check out good. It should work. So I lug that thing back up to the roof an' hook it up.....in parallel with the other one. Go back down that ladder for the umpteenth time to check the output. Ok, where the hell did the sun wander off to? Clouds have rolled in and now I got to wait till they gone. Slim chance 'cause we supposed to get some rain today. But.....with what little sun there is, it seems both solar panels are producing megawatts of electricity. "You good Billy Bob. Now, what the hell did you do to fix that panel"? At this given point an' time in my life, I have absolutely no idea. Ya rekon it may have been just my touch what did it???? Will know for sure as soon as I have a sun filled day. Until then, cross'n fingers.

Speak'n of my touch.....way back when I were in the refrigeration business, I got a call from a long time commercial customer. He had a refrigeration unit what was deader like a door nail....didn't do nuttin. I walks up to that unit and says..."a good kick in the ass will fix that". So I rares back and I kicks that dead unit a good'un. That sucker crank right up an' I never figger out why it had quit in the first place. That kick earned me a service call and the admiration of a happy customer.