Libby, Montana....hunt'n bears

Well crap.....better late than never I rekon. Ya see, I got neighbors what come sit on "da porch" at all hours of the day. They expect me to go outside an' BS with them any time they show up.....no matter what I'm do'n. Since I'm such a nice guy, I appease them.

I went to bed way too early last night think'n I would get up early this morn'n an' get some stuff done. Ha....that worked out great. I got up at 8:30 after 10 hours of blissful sleep.....NOT!!! There ain't nobody sleep 10 hours, or in last nights case, stay in bed that long. It ain't American I tell ya.....ain't American. But anyhows, last night was terrible. Got sick....had to puke. Had a dozen or so leg cramps. One my blankies fell on the floor an' I were cold. Sadie Mae bark'n at some damn cat out on "da porch". Nope, never gonna go to bed again at 10:30 oclock.

Took my road atlas out on "da porch" yesterday try'n to figger where I'm gonna go next. Holy crap, I end up in Libby, Montana. That's bear country ya know. Back in 1957, me an' a buddy Mike went on a hitchhiking tour from southern Ca. to the Pacific Northwest. In 1957 you could do that an' not get all beat up, robbed, or go to jail....stuff like that. Mike had a aunt in Libby what we decided to go see since we didn't strike it rich pick'n blueberrys in Seattle. An' we was slap broke. Maybe we could be lumberjacks. Cut down trees, stuff like that. Mike's aunt put us up on the front porch on a couple army cots for the night. Waked up bout the crack of dawn to the sound of something dig'n in the garden. It were two big ol' bears.....probly weigh somewheres bout a thousand pound. That what I was think'n anyhows....they was big. Mike's aunt shoot a shotgun....bears run like hell. We don't sleep on the porch no more.
Anyhows, I ain't go'n to Libby Montana. Or anywheres else where bears might be dig'n in the garden. I don't do bears.....end of story.

Since #1 moved out of the RV park a few days ago, there ain't been no more drama to entertain me. "You cain't park no freak'n tractor in a RV spot". I'm serious, he was gonna bring a old broke down John Deere tractor in the park an' restore it. Although it couldn't be no worst than the old '60's model motor homes, tip out trailers an' broke down cars. It's a freak'n junk yard out here. But it's cheap ($125 plus electric).

Be off to see the doctor tomorrow. They say to bring a list of my medications. I says....."they all on your computer". She says "bring 'em anyhows to make sure they are the same". What the hell, the doctor prescribed them last year off the computer. Hope they ain't got it in their mind to change things. These work just fine.
I'll collect all my records this year an' hope to find a doctor in Corpus Christi that don't lecture me on the sins of smoking. Or tell me I got to get a stress test. I ain't do'n no blamed stress test. Last one I thought I was gonna die. My heart already has enough stress....don't need no more. Sides that, doctors say stress kills.

 Ok, nuttin to talk bout.....got a few things I can still get down before it gets dark. By the way, 7:30 last night it was pitch black outside. Laters!!!   

A trip to Silver City.....Bayard, New Mexico

Oh boy, now what??? Tooth ache, I got a freak'n tooth ache. I'm figger'n I got a infection, so I break out some 3 year old antibiotics.....amoxicillin 500 mg. I ain't gonna go see no dad gum dentist 'cause every time I do, they take a big ol' pair of pliers an' yank out another tooth. What's with dentists? It's either a root canal or yank a tooth. Don't they know how to fix stuff?

There was a dentist down in south Texas....a old feller. They call him "jerk 'em Kerkum". $25 a pop. Take bout 15 minutes an' you out of there....lower lip hang'n on your chin. Remember Bill Cosby an' his dentist routine? Bout like that.

Yesterdays trip north was an experience. Oh, we made it to the Mexican eat 'em up place, but I was in shambles by the time we got there. Ya see, Jim is a old feller. An' he don't pay too much attention to the road....or oncoming traffic. Scare the live'n shit out me more than onest when we roll'n over them rumble strips on the side the road. But I rekon he must be a good driver 'cause he's still alive.

We pulls into a little mall place. Grocery store, a hair fix'n place an' a Mexican restaurant. If'n ya can call it that.

I ain't say'n I would ever go back to this eat 'em up place, but the enchilada sauce was bout the best I ever taste. The nice little lady brung out my plate of choice, a combination plate.

 I says....."damn, ain't no way I can eat all that". It was heaped up with enough food for me, Jim an' them nice ladies sit'n over there. I didn't leave hungry.

I think I was propositioned. Ya see, I was stand'n outside puff'n a little cigar. This hot look'n chic a baby walk up to me an' says "hello....is there anything you would like"? Now why would a nice look'n lady like that walk up to a handsome brute like me an' say something like that if'n she didn't have some stuff to sell or give away? I watch her as she walk away.....not bad, not bad at all.  

I been a bit depressed bout all the go'ns on. Ain't talk'n bout the drama in the RV park, I like that shit, but just my life in general. I'm get'n to the point where's I don't give a fly'n flip bout nuttin no more. I bet ya bout a dollar I done waste a good 8 or 20 hours read'n maps, research'n excit'n places to go....try'n to figger where I gonna go sit on my ass next. An I still don't know. Damn, the RV'n life is hard.

Whoa boy howdy.....it were 41 degs outside this morn'n when I waked up. You know what that means don't ya? Time to roll to warmer climes. But where? An' then, what am I gonna do when I get there?


 

Dog in the water.....swim JoJo...swim.

Yesterday I was sit'n here do'n nuttin, wast'n a few hours filling my mind with internet stuff. "My God Mark, put that steering damper back on "da house". Two weeks delivery for a freak'n $130 shock absorber. "Sally" be OK with the old one. Finding parts for a Workhorse chassis (formally Chevrolet) is like finding a muffler for a old Ford Pinto. "Just put it back on Mark, this is BS".

Anyhows.....I grab holt to a clean'n rag. I'm gonna clean house. You know don't ya, that the nice clean'n lady is no longer employed to clean "Sally da house". If I'm gonna pay hard earned dollars to a clean'n lady, things should be sparkling clean? Right? Well, they weren't.
Well anyways, I drop that clean'n rag like a hot tater. I ain't clean'n nuttin while I got a sink full of dirty dishes. So I done dishes....most of 'em anyhows. Now why does it take two hours to wash up a sink of dishes? I'll tell ya why....I hate wash'n dishes, that why.

There are times I open up a book an' there ain't nuttin there. The title an' first paragraph draws my attention, but I lose interest as I read on. What the hell is the author try'n to say? Has he lost his ever love'n mind? This guy used to have excit'n books with all kinds of interest'n information an' funny stories. Couldn't wait for his next publication. I rekon he's just get'n old or something like that.

We was sit'n out there on "da porch" last night. We got talk'n bout old dogs....along with a little BS. JoJo came to mind. We lived on the boat ya know, just me an' JoJo. No first mates or nuttin like that.  He weren't like no other dog I ever seen in my life....part human, part cat, part acrobat an' 110% dawg.....steal my shrimps when I weren't look'n. An he could whisper. Weigh in right at 18 pounds soak'n wet.....what he didn't like one bit. He was skeered of water an' hated the wash down hose.
I was hose'n down the deck one hot summer day. JoJo was sit'n in the cockpit watch'n my every move. "He's gonna squirt me, I just know he's gonna squirt me". I did. JoJo give me one them looks. You know what I'm talk'n bout....."bastard!!!". He heads for the front of the boat out of spray'n distance. I point that hose at JoJo an' squeeze the trigger. JoJo heads to the forward deck. I squirt again. JoJo goes out on the "bow sprit"....where he casually topples into the water 15 feet below.

He swims around to the pick up station where I dip him out with a big ass dip net. He's pissed. Goes inside the boat, soak'n wet an' calmly climbs into the captains bunk. Did I ever tell ya bout the time....??? JoJo piss on my computer keyboard.

Me an' Jim, another neighbor, will be headed up to Silver City this afternoon. Jim asks me if'n I like Mexican food. Well yeah I do....you betcha. "Maybe if'n you was to take the camera Billy Bob".

In the mean time, I'm gonna take my coffee jug out on "da porch" an' wait. To hell with clean'n when you gonna eat Mexican food. 

Golf ball swak'n 101

Friday golf lesson #437. Never eat a great big sammich before attempting to hit a golf ball.

I decided I would go swak a few. I took a 500mg aspirin before we left. Built a sammich from hell bout [this] thick. Ya see, what happens, ya need flexibility an' stability when ya hit a golf ball. A full stomach takes that all away. Ya get "belly rumbles", your bloated stomach presses against your lungs....you cain't breath. You miss the ball a good 4 inches or ya hit it out there in the woods somewheres out of bounds. Don't eat!!!!

Well, even though I had eat up that big ol' sammich, I still had a good wonderful great outstanding round of golf. I were swak'n golf balls just like I was do'n 5 years ago. My automatic putter saved me a few shot and Wayne's old golf'n clubs proved to be a improvement over mine. Much to my surprise.

I'm think'n 6 pars out of 18 holes is a pretty good start of a new career. See that birdie on #8? My second shot was pin high off the green sit'n in 3 inches of grass. Babam....I dig that ball out the heavy grass, up on the green an' right in the hole. Eat yer heart out Tiger Woods. Don't even say nuttin bout hole #9.....8 strokes. Somebody put a house right where my ball was go'n.....an' I hit the damn thing. An then I hit a damn tree out in the middle of the fairway. Then 3 putted. Sure was glad when that hole was over. A very enjoyable game. "Has anybody find my camera yet"? Yup...it was lost yesterday.

I was tell'n Wayne...."I'm gonna pay tonight"? Leg cramps ya know. But I didn't. That's a good sign that golf ball swak'n is still on my list of things I can continue to do.

Neighbor Mark, that's #10 in yesterdays "drama" list, pull a part off'n "Sally da house" this morning. I call it a steering stabilizer, while others call it a steering damper. Both are correct. After 9 years of go'n "down the road a piece", I'm think'n it's bout time to replace.

I buyed me some multi vitamins. Guaranteed to make me feel like a new man....or something like that. How long does it take for these things to kick in? I'm all excitis bout that "new man" stuff. I used to take multi vitamins way back in my other life. Bout the size a dad gum swell up butterbean. Choke an' gag get'n them things down. Strange thing though, they never did make me a new man....probly 'cause I forget to take 'em every day. A bottle of 50 would last me bout 6 months.

Camp Drama RV Park

Ha, that one moment when you forgot what you was gonna say. I was sit'n here read'n a few blogs an' a 1000 watt light bub lit up. " I could write a blog post on that". It's gone.....poooof, just like that.

But anyhows, it weren't too cold last night (53*), sleeped till almost 8am this morn'n......it's gonna be a good day. Day time temps have been absolutely wonderful.....lower 80's.

Boy howdy, drama in the RV park. #9 put up a travel trailer for sale. #1 was gonna buy it. #9 rented an apartment to move to. #1 backed out of the deal. #9 got pissed. #1's daughter, #10 got involved. #9 kicked #1 and #10 off of his lot. #1 bought a John Deere tractor. #12, old "pesky neighbor" Wanye got involved (no restoration of tractors in park). #1 kicked #12 out of his lot. #11, Billy Bob, is sit'n back on "da porch" sip'n up a cup an' enjoy'n the show. Who says that old folks cain't have fun?

Dad gum it, I got so busy yesterday do'n stuff that I didn't get nuttin done. Only started.....incomplete. I rekon it's fair to say that the older ya get, the less ya gonna do. Although, I did scratch off one more item on my "to do" list. It's good to look at a checked off list an' gloat at your accomplishments...be they big or little. It's them check marks what count, not what ya did.

I just can't get over the fact that I keep get'n older every day. But then I ain't the oldest man in the world neither. But 72 is get'n up there amungst the "old folks". And I get jealous. Dad gum old ladies an' men travel'n all over the US have'n a good time an' I'm sit'n in a rock'n chair rock'n backards an' foreards out there on "da porch". Don't think I'll ever grow accustomed to be'n a old fart.

I was look'n at the map yesterday. Nope, still don't know where I'm gonna go. There's a possibility I may stay a couple weeks extra in Deming, but that's undecided too. If'n I ain't done what I was gonna do in a month, I sure as hell ain't gonna do nuttin in an extra two weeks. I jist ain't got the "want to".

I been feel'n a bunch better for the last week. Some the back pains are go'n away, but movement is still limited. Felt so good yesterday I went out in the road an' swak some golf balls. Shit, I cain't hit a golf ball straight for nuttin. Two of 'em went over there, where I wasn't aim'n....par for the course. Another one went fly'n off to the left, miss old "pesky's" truck by a foot. I weren't aim'n there neither.

So I rekon it's bout time to head downtown to the golf course for some real golf ball swak'n. Probly take Wayne with me to drive the cart.....maybe swak up a few. This time, maybe I'll remember to take the camera.

Poor Sadie Mae is slow'n down. She's get'n old too ya know. Bout 10 years now. But then, she eats a lot of balony when we visit Deming. Damn neighbors!!!

Sit'n here do'n nuttin an' think'n

Yup.....it's winter in Deming. I waked up last night wonder'n why my feet was so cold. Well first off, they was stick'n out from under the covers. But the other reason was, it was cold in "da house". I check the thermometer this morn'n....yikes, it 48 degs out there. Gonna be break'n out the Mr Heater here pretty soon I betcha a dollar.

Me an' Sadie May loaded up in "that jeep" and head to town. We on a mission. Renew registration  on the "bubba boat" for another three years. In a way I figger I'm get'n riped off. Ain't never been stopped for speed'n. Never had a wreck. No sobriety check points. I ain't been checked for nuttin. So why even register the damn thing? Anyways, it's a done deal. They gonna mail me all the stuff sometime in the next 45 days. But they ain't gonna mail the stuff to me where ever I'm at, they gonna mail it to my NM address an' old "pesky" will mail it to my Texas address. Then my mail service in Texas will mail it to me....where ever I'm at. RV'n is a hard life.

To my surprise, yesterdays Walmart experience went without a flaw. I don't recall reverting to "crusted sailor" mode....the use of obscenities an' occasional finger jesters. I don't really do that, but it sounds good on paper. Seasoning ya might say. But anyhows, I got out of Walmart with every item on my list checked off and best of all, under a hunnert dollars. My kids know what I'm talk'n bout.....hunnert dollar every time I go to Walmart.

Since it was my birthday, I decided to treat myself to a wonderful Mexican dinner. I pulls into Taco Bell, steps out the car, an' my right leg give slap out. What the hell, it was good not 30 minutes ago traisp'n the aisles in Walmart. I orders up 2 tacos with tomatoes an' a great big combo burrito. I'm in hog heaven. I would rather eat 2 or 3 tacos an' a great big combo burrito than a medium rare T-bone steak any day. Ain't say'n I don't like T-bone steak or nuttin like that, but there are special days ya just have to splurge an' go to Taco Bell.

Everbody keep ask'n me where I gonna go when I leave Deming next week....or so. I ask the same question ever time I'm out there sit'n on "da porch" sip'n up a cup an' think'n. I cain't go south 'cause I ain't got no passport. That leaves only two choices....east or west. I got the rest of my life to decide.

In the mean time, think I'll go sit on "da porch" for a few....do some think'n. 

  
 

Time is run'n out

MAN!!!.....boy howdy, I done spend 2 hours yesterday try'n to "fix" my 'My Yahoo' into something usable. All the news feeds I followed for the last 5 years are no longer there....they gone. Grrrrrrr......!

The "da porch" has gotten to be the place to meet up an' tell lies. Everbody shows up right bout the time I got something go'n on. I ain't complain'n ya know, 'cause I like to BS an' tell a few lies myself. It's a daily competition....who catched the biggest fish, who had the worst stroke or most heart attacks, who owned the most land, who was the best war hero.....holy cows, what are we do'n in Deming sit'n on "da porch"? We should all be registered an' attend'n meet'ns in Liers Anonymous....or something like that.

One more week for my doctors appointment. Get my yearly go'n over by Dr. Fraunkenstein an' a years supply of prescriptions an' I'm out of here. This years trip to Deming ain't turn out nuttin like I had expected or plan it to be. All the stuff I was gonna do, I ain't done none of it. Not that it really matters 'cause I done did the tourist thing in Deming two or three times already. No fun in Deming for Billy Bob an' Company this year.

Speak'n of prescriptions, I pick some up at Walmart last week...or so. I'm think'n I may have toss them in the dad gum trash can. I look everwheres. Some of 'em ain't here. Either that or my prescription insurance put a hold on them for "too soon" to refill. They do that all the time. Since I travel a little bit from time to time, I refill a week or so early to make sure I don't get caught with out.

It's that of year again. "Yee haw Billy Bob, you done gain another one". There will be no celebration, no cakes, no danc'n girls, just another day. Although....I do need to make a trip to Walmart for some eat 'em ups. Run slap out of daily essentials....bread, milk an' donuts.
A trip to Walmart should be a special day in everbodys life.

I was sit'n here last night an' I says to myself...."damn, I feel pretty good". Then I spray some bug stuff in "da house". Dad gum flies everwhere. I start wheez'n for breath, caugh'n an' stuff. Had to go outside in the cold (57 degs) for some that cool mountain air. Then Sadie Mae, she take off like a bullet. Cat hunt'n or something like that. Like to never get her back in "da house".....after it air out. Sadie Mae likes cat chas'n better than watch'n the Dallas Coyboys on TV. 

Come on Blogger, don't fail me now....publish.