Boy howdy is all I can say

Yup.....Boy Howdy!!!

Ya see, it's like this.....I was sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n when up drives "the old man". He owns the place ya know. He says "what ya work'n on"??? I says...."a boat". Now ya see, the reason I said I was work'n on a boat is because I just came back from Walmart with a battery and some wire and stuff for a trolling motor for my blow up bass fish'n boat. I just can't see old Billy Bob paddl'n a boat around some big lake when he can use a motor.

Anyhows, "the old man" just happened to have a trolling motor in his truck. And the price was right....$40, after I put the jews to him. That's considered barter'n....or something like that. It a vintage....I like antiques...Montgomery Wards Sea King 502.....what ever that is. It gots a 3 inch propeller on it and two forward speeds. How comes no reverse??? How the hell I gonna back up???

So now all I gotta do is build a bracket thingy to hold the motor. Wayne says I'm gonna spend a hunert dollars building one. (they sell online for $79) But what could be better than building your own?

Winds are up to terrible again today, but probably not high enough to shut down the interstate like the other day. Played golf ball swak'n yesterday. Was nice till right bout the 4th hole.....here come the wind. But at least I whooped old "pesky neighbor" Waynes ass. Don't ask a score 'cause I ain't gonna post it.

Almost time for the "clock shootout" at the BB corral. If it hadn't been so windy, I would have been there, but my hoss don't like wind either.

Meds...no meds

It ain't been very far back that I could sit down and write a blog post with "no problem". Seems lately, I just can't get my mind to function on a subject of interest. With that said, could I be losing my mind??? Could my meds be mind altering drugs? Or could it be that I just don't do anything anymore?

Ok.....we got that all settled. Now lets see what old Billy Bob can come up with this morning. *think'n....think'n....think'n* Not a damn thing comes to mind.

Well the "old fat man" Barney is to hit the road this morning. In 30 to 35 mph wind. He was headed off to some lake over by Carlsbad here in New Mexico, but....it's on fire.....or something like that. Hope he don't get discouraged and head back to the Gulf coast and spend the summer sit'n in that salt environment in Rockport, Texas.....do'n nuttin.

Barney's visit to old Billy Bob's "da house" turned out to be a very pleasant experience. Gonna have to meet up with him somewheres down the road here in a couple months. The golf games we played was nuttin but fun....except for one occasion when the wind was entirely too strong for a couple old farts to be swak'n golf balls. Many hour we spent sit'n out there on "da porch" sip'n coffee and BS'n. Gonna miss him.

Well, my Dr Frankinsteen has done piss me off. Ya see, I done run out of meds, prescriptions expired, and I went to his office to get them renewed for another year. They say I have to make an appointment for a "follow up" before I can get one year of drugs. And the only opening is way up in June...the 8th or something like that. That would be a time when I had expected to be "on the road again". So now I have to change my travel plans to fit his plans. Damn, it only take 5 minutes to write a freak'n prescription. Anyhows, after a bunch of bitch'n and holler'n, they gave me a 3 month prescription. I could stretch that into 6 months by tak'n my meds every other day, but then I would still have to see him when I get back from my next trip. So.....schedule change.

Now let's talk bout a good nights sleep. For the last month I do not sleep very well. Oh I sleep, but when I get up in the morning, I feel like I didn't sleep but a couple hours. I have dreams that wake me in the middle of the night, just like old Ben, but by morning I don't remember them. Makes me wish I was younger again. But then if I was, I would have to relive all this crap again. It's hard I'm tell'n ya, it's hard. Best advice I can give ya is to stay young, get off the couch and take a walk, do some mind exercises and if you're single, get a young girlfriend. Don't retire.

Gonna shoot that damn clock. Finally found new clocks in Walmart and bought me up one. By the time I finished alterations, it quit run'n every 20 minutes. What the hell.....just like the old one. Took it back apart, bent the second hand so it wouldn't rub on the glass....walla....brand spank'n new clock. Now the old one is doomed to die a terrible death.....maybe today. So stay tuned.

Ok, winds kick'n up to 39 mph. Shoot'n that clock is got to wait. Gonna be excit'n.

Fish'n trip from hell

I packed up 3 my boys in the old bread truck, along with a little 12 foot boat and enough food to last a month. We was gonna go catch us some bass fishes. We found us a good camp'n site right next to the water. And close to a hunert other other campers. Old folks what didn't like scream'n kids. Well mine were perfect scream'n age and there was more of them than the one of me. So the scream'n lasted well into the night....with me tell'n them to "SHUT UP".

First night we all headed off into the woods for a much needed "pee". It was dark in them woods. We talked a little bout all the animals that live in the woods. Ronny had him a good stream a go'n when I mentioned bears. Now Ronny was the type that clinged to his daddy in the time of terror and fear. I was run'n back to the safety of camp, not in fear of bears, but Ronny had a steam a go'n he couldn't shut off, hang'n on my shirt tail, pee'n on me as we ran.

Back at camp we decided we would build a nice little camp fire. Well eveybody know the only way to start a campfire is with powerful engine fuel.....gasoline. Holy crap, the woods is on fire. Flames 10 foots high. Kids scream'n. Neighbors shout'n "shut them kids up".

Robert wasn't much of a fisherman at the time. Tangled line, bait out of reach up in a tree....that boy could cast straight up 9 out of 10 casts. And put his foot in a tackle box....yep he could do that too. Just like Bill Dance.

Second day right after a pancake breakfast all I could hear was "sploosh, splash" for no less than 30 minutes. It were Billy, toss'n rocks in the lake. Big rocks. Lots of them. Here come a couple neighbors, all red eyes from loss of sleep the night before. "Would you tell them boys not to throw rock in the water....we fish'n here". Ok, I told them. But did Billy listen??? Ha Ha Ha.

To get the boys away from camp before the neighbors went bizerk on me, we loaded up the little fish'n boat, fired up the 3 hp motor and headed to the bass fish'n grounds. "My god Robert, watch where you pit your feet". Fish'n lures, hooks and weights all over the bottom the boat. The little 3 hp motor had all it could take of these redneck boys what couldn't sit still and just up and quit......pooof. A cloud of white smoke. Now how the hell we gonna get back. You didn't think old Billy Bob was stupid did ya??? I had an oar. Just bout supper time we was back in camp....no smil'n faces on the neighbors.

With no motor for the boat, all that was left to do was fish from the banks, lay around camp and listen to Billy toss'n rocks. I layed down in the old bread truck for a nice nap, only to be woked up by Billy talk'n to the fish license check'n guy. "My daddy is in the truck....he don't have no fish'n license". (Shut up Billy) Never gonna take that boy fish'n again. After we ate up a months supply of food, we loaded up the old bread truck and headed home. With no fish. Never the less, it was a fish'n trip I will never forget.

Now let me tell ya bout stow'n a blow up bass fish'n boat. If ya didn't see the pic, it's not really a bass boat, but a little blow up canoe. 10 feets long and not quite wide enough to not turn over. Well anyhows, I needed to put it back in the bag what it was in before I took it out. Ok, how the hell that thing gonna fit back in that bag? Instructions, read the instructions. Right....have ya ever read instructions from China. There ain't none for put'n the boat back in the bag. I rolled it, folded it, squished it, stomped on it.....it ain't gonna fit. After a few choice words, a couple cups of coffee and the help of a rope to keep it in a nice little bundle, I squeezed it back into the bag. Boy howdy....that bag is got to go.

Yesterdays golf game with the "old fat man" Barney was nothing to talk about. In fact, I shouldn't even think about it. Really enjoying Barney's visit even though the wind has been terrible most every day. That brand spank'n fish pole reel sure looks nice on my fish pole. Thanks Barney.

Sure did laugh at some of the comments. Humor is medicine.

Wind??? What wind?

Boy howdy is it windy or what? I been back in Deming almost a month now and the wind ain't quit blow'n yet. I stopped all outside activities, such as mow'n the yard, my daily walk around the block, wash'n an wax'n "da house", golf ball swak'n and fly'n a kite. Most days are only bout 25 mph average, but then there's days like today when the wind blows. Of course we haven't had any tornadoes or hurricanes yet.

Well today is the day. My "blow up" will arrive by UPS this afternoon. Boy howdy am I gonna have some fun with that thing. Of course I'm gonna need a sturdy paddle and maybe some rope....not whips and chains. Find me a nice secluded spot where there ain't no body to watch.....uh huh, gonna be some fun.
We talk'n bout a boat ya bunch of perverts.

Conputer again.....damn

Holy cows, how much more abuse does the world have to offer old Billy Bob?
Remember that fan what was full of hair on my lap top??? Well now that little cooling fan is almost dead. If I wasn't so damn cheap, I would shoot this sum a gun with my .357 and go buy me a brand spank'n new one. Grrrrrrr.....I'll never have another HP computer long as I live. No....I wouldn't have a Dell either.

Beautiful morning here in the desert. Wind blow'n bout 5 mile a hour, not a cloud in the sky, but what the hell is all the hazy stuff I see off to the south? Gonna be a great day for swak'n golf balls we didn't swak yesterday.

Still undecided what or where I gonna go this summer. I still have my mind on that fish'n and golf'n tour I told ya bout, but damn, it take a lot of research to find fish'n places on golf courses. Figger I'll stay here in Deming for another month or so before I head out into the hottest part of summer. Good think'n huh???

What the hell ya do'n Wayne??

Boy howdy, let me tell ya bout an exciting morning. Thursday is golf ball swak'n day ya know and we was there right on time. Old Fat Man Barney was wear'n two pretty white golf'n gloves and a heavy winter coat...with a frown on his face. He weren't too happy. Well hell no, the wind was blow'n. Not just a little 15 mph breeze, but blown'n a storm. But we tee'd off anyhows not know'n where the ball was gonna go. By the third hole, "pesky neighbor" Wayne done pick up his golf ball. I says...."what the hell ya do'n Wanye"??? He done quit. He start his whin'n bout he couldn't see, his back hurt, he had a headache....all sorts of excuses. Well hell, a couple year ago we was swak'n golf balls in the dead of winter, cold, windy and all sorts of nasty stuff, but we played a full 18 holes....didn't quit. In the mean time Barney still had a frown on his face....he weren't happy. Bout the 6th hole, old Billy Bob done had enough of this abuse too. Game over!!!

Well I have a fish'n boat on the way.This gonna be my authentic skinny water, go anywhere bass fish'n boat powered by Billy Bob hisself. What a deal.

Now all I gotta do is find a place with water....maybe a few fishes to catch. Is there any way to get out of this thing without falling in the water?? That's the problem I have with my el cheapo blow up boat. Fall'n in cold water ain't my idea of hav'n fun. Oh, did I mention I can put a motor on the back this thing and leave the oars at home??? Go a hunert mile a hour....yee ha!

Lost day

Boy howdy, if ya don't have a watch that tells ya what day it is, you gonna be out in left field when ya should be up at bat.

Got up this morn'n....but first, let me tell ya bout yesterday. Sunday is golf day in Deming for old Billy Bob, but things didn't work out. The wind was blow'n 30 mile a hour with gusts to 50. That don't make a good golf day. So we didn't play. Then on top of that, remember the new pain I was whin'n about. Well it came back last night.
Only position I could be comfortable was on my left side. And I can't go to sleep on my left side. Then to top that off, I had to get up 3 times for a potty call. Then to top that off, my water was froze up this morning.

Me and the boys went off to play golf this afternoon. Me think'n it was Sunday. So since I was already screwed up on what day it was, I thought it would be to my advantage to throw the game. Boy howdy did I ever. Of course the Old Fat Man Barney had to show off and beat me bad....along with pesky neighbor Wayne stomp'n me by 3 strokes. I'll never throw another game. Back at "da house" by 4:30 look'n at the couch. Need to lay down. Old Billy Bob wore slap out.

No other news at this time.