I were sit'n there on the couch last night bout 8pm and says...."damn, it's get'n cold in here". Holy crap, it's 54 degs an' drop'n fast. Low last night was 48 degs. So....what's in store for the rest of winter? From over 25 years of experience with winters on the gulf coast, all the way from Galveston to Port Aransas, Texas, it don't get no better than this. With bout 4 weeks of uncomfortable weather from a few freak storms, the Texas gulf coast is an excellent place to frolic on the beach, wet a hook in the rolling surf or take a leisure sun filled drive through the countryside.
Today there ain't no sunshine, so I ain't go'n to the beach and I ain't go'n fish'n. "So what the hell ya gonna do all day Billy Bob"? Look'n out the window, I'm think'n I may go outside, jump on the "billy bike" an' take a ride up the street. Or I could go out there, jack up "that jeep" and see what's mak'n all them noises com'n out from under it. Rattle rattle bang clang clunk....stuff like that. "Dishes Billy Bob...ya got a sink full of dishes". Oh yeah, I forgot bout those.
Life gets hard when ya let it pass ya by. You know, like sit'n on the couch watch'n nuttin on tv, wast'n time on trivial things....like wash'n dishes, when you should be outside enjoy'n what little time ya got left. I done just bout everthing I ever wanted to do....and then some. Well, I ain't bungee jumped yet. Came close wait'n in a long line, but not yet. I figger I done used up all my dreams. I was once knowed to be a dreamer ya know, but I don't dream no more. Boy howdy, if'n I were only 20 years younger......damn, them were the days. Ya wait too long an' it's gone.....poooof, just like that.
The OFM Barney brung up a good subject yesterday. Wild critters. When I was much younger, critters were my #1 priority on any outing. You know, camp'n, fish'n, hike'n through the woods. I was always on the lookout for a critter. Didn't make no matter what it were. We was camped for the weekend at Robbers Roost in southern Calif. Mountain lions roamed the area. I'm gonna go get me a mountain lion. Back then, man eat'n critter hunt'n was a sport and the old Billy Bob was a sportsman. So's I head off around the mountain with a little single shot .22 rifle and a hand full of ammunition. It was dark....very dark. I'm all alone. My mind begins to work. "What was that noise"? Rabbit. I see things what ain't there. "What's that over there"? A bush. Now I'm get'n rattled. Do mountain lions eat 18 year old mountain lion hunters? You bet they do. But they KILL ya first. Bite the shit out ya. At a fast walk, bout a hunnert mile a hour, I quietly work myself back towards camp....stumbl'n through bushes an' stuff like that. Up there on a big ol' rock I see something. Eyes. Two of 'em....an' they look'n at me. I fires off a shot in that general direction an'....I'm out of here....gone....pooof, just like that. Of course, nobody in camp believed one word of my close encounter with a wild mountain lion.
I'm get'n all excited bout the trip to Falcon lake. Gonna catch me up a 14 pounds bass I betcha. I said that last year didn't I??? Well, this year I gonna do it. Well actually, I'm gonna attempt to catch me up one over 10 pounds. Do I eat bass? Well no I don't. Taste like water an' you know, I don't like water. But now if'n I was to hook me up a bunch of bluegill, we'll have bluegill an' fried eggs for breakfast. Pan fried up real crisp like...eat tail an' all. Hot damn....yum yum eat'em up.
Ok, got things to do. Laters....
?
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Car shop'n an' golf ball swak'n
As predicted, the storm hit the area with torrential rainfall.....Bahahahaha, what a crock. Here I was expect'n the sky to fall and holy crap, it didn't rain enough to make a fresh pot of coffee. "that jeep" is still caked with Del Rio dirt an' grime. There ain't a wet spot or the first sign that it rained at all. And the cold that was supposed to come in with the rain....Bahahahahaha, that's a crock too.
I went to bed last night a little later than usual. Right bout 12:30am....or something like that. It was still 64 degs outside. That's not what I consider cold. Not that I'm complain'n or nuttin like that, but weathermen suck. It's a rip roar'n 59 degs this morn'n.
Went off to the golf ball swak'n place yesterday morning. I were expect'n the place to be crowded with golfers swak'n balls in all directions....a big line to the first tee box. I paid my ridiculously high priced green fee an' cart rental, load up my ball swak'n gear and head 'em up to the #1 tee box. To my surprise, I'm the 4th person wait'n to hit a line drive right down the middle. I pair up with a couple fellers bout 5 years short of my age, Juan an' Jose, an' we off to a great day of golf ball swak'n.
On the first hole I was on in 3 and sink a 15 foots putt for a nice par to start the game. By the time we was finish play the front 9, I had a very decent score of 7 over par. Hot damn, the old Billy Bob is hot today. But then all hell break loose. The next 3 holes I am 7 over par....2 doubles an' a triple bogie. Finished the round with a decent 92. Not professional, but close.
I pulls into the the yard at "El Abraham RV Resort & Goat Farm" an' here come nephew Joseph with his cell in his hands. "Look here Uncle Bill, I found you a Jeep". He shows me a couple pics an' I says, "that one good look'n jeep". So we go check it out. 2002 Jeep Grand Cherokee, 4.7 V-8, 4x4....color dark blue. On the front is a Towmaster....or something like that, towbar (this is a $800 item). This Jeep was once a "toad". The leather seats are in very good condition except'n for the tear in the driver seat. Further inspection, we find the tires need replaced ($500), hood and lift gate shocks need replaced ($200), engine has a miss at idle....but go 60 mile a hour in 6 seconds flat. And it need brake pads all the way around ($200). I make a offer, $1,000 less than asking, what they flat out refused. Now I have a decision to make.
I went to bed last night a little later than usual. Right bout 12:30am....or something like that. It was still 64 degs outside. That's not what I consider cold. Not that I'm complain'n or nuttin like that, but weathermen suck. It's a rip roar'n 59 degs this morn'n.
Went off to the golf ball swak'n place yesterday morning. I were expect'n the place to be crowded with golfers swak'n balls in all directions....a big line to the first tee box. I paid my ridiculously high priced green fee an' cart rental, load up my ball swak'n gear and head 'em up to the #1 tee box. To my surprise, I'm the 4th person wait'n to hit a line drive right down the middle. I pair up with a couple fellers bout 5 years short of my age, Juan an' Jose, an' we off to a great day of golf ball swak'n.
On the first hole I was on in 3 and sink a 15 foots putt for a nice par to start the game. By the time we was finish play the front 9, I had a very decent score of 7 over par. Hot damn, the old Billy Bob is hot today. But then all hell break loose. The next 3 holes I am 7 over par....2 doubles an' a triple bogie. Finished the round with a decent 92. Not professional, but close.
I pulls into the the yard at "El Abraham RV Resort & Goat Farm" an' here come nephew Joseph with his cell in his hands. "Look here Uncle Bill, I found you a Jeep". He shows me a couple pics an' I says, "that one good look'n jeep". So we go check it out. 2002 Jeep Grand Cherokee, 4.7 V-8, 4x4....color dark blue. On the front is a Towmaster....or something like that, towbar (this is a $800 item). This Jeep was once a "toad". The leather seats are in very good condition except'n for the tear in the driver seat. Further inspection, we find the tires need replaced ($500), hood and lift gate shocks need replaced ($200), engine has a miss at idle....but go 60 mile a hour in 6 seconds flat. And it need brake pads all the way around ($200). I make a offer, $1,000 less than asking, what they flat out refused. Now I have a decision to make.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Storm a brew'n
I were sit'n on the step eat'n up a couple pieces of chicken and a couple jalapenos. I had just finished shortening the chain on the "billy bike" and readjusting that derailer thingy on the back wheel. Took a short ride up the road a piece an' now I were hungry.
I finished eat'n up my chicken an' boy howdy, I sure do like cold chicken. Something bout the texture make ya wanna gnaw it to the bone. I don't like white meat so's I don't eat the breasts. But the rest that chicken ain't gonna be nuttin but a pile of bones when I get through. Well anyhows, I was lay'n on the couch and here come the nephews an' nieces tote'n plate loads of Thanksgiving dinner for the old Billy Bob. There was enough for bout 3 or 4 days worth of eat'n. And boy howdy was it ever some good eat'n I mean to tell ya.
I hear there's a big storm headed this way. 'Sposed to be a couple inches of rain mixed with cold. I ain't made me no plans for the next few days, so I don't rekon it will affect me any shape or form. Sure would like to go swak some golf balls, but if'n it gonna get cold, you can forget that idea. Maybe. I'm think'n if'n I get there bout 11am, I can finish before the storm gets here. What ya think???
Nephew Joseph is gonna jack up the front of "that jeep" an' check see what parts are wore slap out an' need replaced on the front end. I were want'n to find me a brand spank'n new one, but if'n Joseph can fix this one, I guess I could live with that. Ain't had a oil change in 3 years, so I rekon one them won't hurt nuttin. Cain't believe I been driv'n this thing for over 3 years.....damn!
Ok.....got things to do. Laters.....
I finished eat'n up my chicken an' boy howdy, I sure do like cold chicken. Something bout the texture make ya wanna gnaw it to the bone. I don't like white meat so's I don't eat the breasts. But the rest that chicken ain't gonna be nuttin but a pile of bones when I get through. Well anyhows, I was lay'n on the couch and here come the nephews an' nieces tote'n plate loads of Thanksgiving dinner for the old Billy Bob. There was enough for bout 3 or 4 days worth of eat'n. And boy howdy was it ever some good eat'n I mean to tell ya.
I hear there's a big storm headed this way. 'Sposed to be a couple inches of rain mixed with cold. I ain't made me no plans for the next few days, so I don't rekon it will affect me any shape or form. Sure would like to go swak some golf balls, but if'n it gonna get cold, you can forget that idea. Maybe. I'm think'n if'n I get there bout 11am, I can finish before the storm gets here. What ya think???
Nephew Joseph is gonna jack up the front of "that jeep" an' check see what parts are wore slap out an' need replaced on the front end. I were want'n to find me a brand spank'n new one, but if'n Joseph can fix this one, I guess I could live with that. Ain't had a oil change in 3 years, so I rekon one them won't hurt nuttin. Cain't believe I been driv'n this thing for over 3 years.....damn!
Ok.....got things to do. Laters.....
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Holidays....bah hum bug
Ain't no sense mak'n a big deal out of today eat'n turkey an' stuff like that. But it do make a guy kind of miss be'n with family around a big ol' table full of scrumptious food. I rekon this is the one day most families look forward to....other than Christmas. Sad to say, but the old Billy Bob ain't into the big holidays.....birthdays, Easter bunnies an' stuff like that. An' I sure don't want to be on a highway on a day like this.
Went off towards town yesterday. Walmart ya know. Got down to the intersection of the highway and decided to head off to Rockport where OFM Barney lives. Bout 35 mile ya know. Drop off my my empty medication bottle at Walmart and go visit with Barney for a spell. Yup, he home. We sit out in the yard, since it was a beautiful day, jaw'n for a bit. Then we head on down to the harbor to catch us up some nice eat'n size fish. Barney hook into a great big ol' Spanish mackerel before the old Billy Bob catched his first rock. That was it....one fish for the both us. Where are all the fish at???
On the way home, I stop off at the local Churches fried chicken place in Aransas Pass an' pick me up a box of chicken and some jalapenos. Now that's some good Thanksgiv'n day eat'n. I don't even like turkey, so Churches chicken is my first choice above all other holiday feasts. Although, a plate of enchiladas, refried pintos and rice sure do sound good.
Ok....got things to do. "billy bike" needs some attention.
Went off towards town yesterday. Walmart ya know. Got down to the intersection of the highway and decided to head off to Rockport where OFM Barney lives. Bout 35 mile ya know. Drop off my my empty medication bottle at Walmart and go visit with Barney for a spell. Yup, he home. We sit out in the yard, since it was a beautiful day, jaw'n for a bit. Then we head on down to the harbor to catch us up some nice eat'n size fish. Barney hook into a great big ol' Spanish mackerel before the old Billy Bob catched his first rock. That was it....one fish for the both us. Where are all the fish at???
On the way home, I stop off at the local Churches fried chicken place in Aransas Pass an' pick me up a box of chicken and some jalapenos. Now that's some good Thanksgiv'n day eat'n. I don't even like turkey, so Churches chicken is my first choice above all other holiday feasts. Although, a plate of enchiladas, refried pintos and rice sure do sound good.
Ok....got things to do. "billy bike" needs some attention.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Hors'n around...burro that is
Oh holy crap.....I done forgot to get all my meds while at Walmart the other day. So that means, today I have to go back to Walmart. I was gonna wait till "black friday" and get them on sale, but I ain't wait'n in no lines for a $4 prescription. Now that gets me to wondering how they can charge $4 for a months supply of blood pressure medication and charge $10 for a months supply of over the counter headache medication (Bayer 500 mg. aspirin). Somebody is mak'n some bucks on headaches.
I remember when I was in a VA hospital back in 1980. That when I injured my back. Sit in that damn hospital for almost 2 months while they was try'n to convince me that I only thought I injured my back. Anyhows, they had me medicated with some the strangest drug ya ever hear of. One make hair grow in my tongue. Well, it weren't really hair like on your head, but it sure felt like it. Little thingys grow'n on my tongue a 1/4 inches long. On top of all them drugs the doctors was giv'n me, I was tak'n any high potency pain reliever I could get my hands on. Even contraband.....you know, illegal stuff. Most had no effect other than aspirin. Of which I was tak'n right at or over 10,000 mgs a day. They worked, but ate my stomach slap up. Now years later, I suffer from a simple pain reliever....aspirin. Belch, burp, gurgle, gag...acid reflex, burn like the dickens.
I were think'n bout go'n to the golf ball swak'n place today an' beat hell out the OFM Barney. But yesterday while test'n the "billy bike", I fell slap on my ass.....wrenched (or is it winched) my back. Took me up 2 of them 500 mg aspirins think'n I would be all well by this morn'n, but I ain't. So.....golf ball swak'n will have to wait for another day. But I may ride the "billy bike" again.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Bicycle gears
Ok, I got to take me a break....whooooeee, I are tired work'n on bicycles.
Yee ha....I done fount me a old bicycle what I been look'n for. When I look at it, I says...."hey, that's just what I been look'n for". It has a single piece crank with 3 gears on it.....yes! One gear is flat useless 'cause it too big an' won't fit nohow. But the other two....gold mine!!! Billy Bob done struck it rich. See what patience will get ya if'n ya wait long enough??? So now I have some gears to work with and a spare 5 1/2 inches crank complete with brand spank'n new bearings. "WD-40...where's my WD-40"?
The first thing I done was to take the 3 gears apart....chainsaw, chisel and drill bits. The first gear I tried on the "billy bike" was the 5 1/2 inches crank an' a 38 tooth gear sprocket. Well darn, "billy bike" is still too hard to pedal up a big ol' hill. So's I try the 7 inches crank with the same 38 tooth gear. Well, that's a little better....but still not easy enough for an old fart with skinny legs. Ok, let's try the 30 tooth gear an' see what happen. Holy crap, that exactly what I been say'n all along.....perfect. Just offhand, I would say the gearing on the "billy bike" is bout the same as OFM Barney's "barney bike", the trusty steed or what ever he calls it. I'm happy!!~! Now how the hell do ya shorten a bicycle chain???
So yesterday I went to my secret fish'n hole think'n I were gonna catch me up some trout or redfish. WRONG!!!! There weren't nobody even get'n a bite on live bait....shrimps an' stuff like that. Barney showed up with all his fish'n gear an' wades out in the middle of the shrimpboat channel, cast'n lures in every direction. I sit there an' watched him for bout a half a hour, but he don't know that....he was busy catch'n fish. An' then here pulls up this crazy lady....talk'n to herself and me at the same time. Boy howdy, what ever she was on, lit her up like a 230 volts Christmas tree or one them Olympics torch thingys. I jumps in "that jeep" an' I'm out of here.
Damn goat done eat up my favorite fly swapper. He just come in "da house" like he live here or something like that. Pick up stuff an' head out the door with it. Sadie Mae don't say a word. She just lay there look'n at that goat an' shake her head. Speak'n of Sadie Mae, she done fount her a fresh deposit of burro poop to roll around in. My god Sadie, you stink like poop. Now I got to give her a bath and cut her hair. "Where my scissors"? But maybe not today.
Yee ha....I done fount me a old bicycle what I been look'n for. When I look at it, I says...."hey, that's just what I been look'n for". It has a single piece crank with 3 gears on it.....yes! One gear is flat useless 'cause it too big an' won't fit nohow. But the other two....gold mine!!! Billy Bob done struck it rich. See what patience will get ya if'n ya wait long enough??? So now I have some gears to work with and a spare 5 1/2 inches crank complete with brand spank'n new bearings. "WD-40...where's my WD-40"?
The first thing I done was to take the 3 gears apart....chainsaw, chisel and drill bits. The first gear I tried on the "billy bike" was the 5 1/2 inches crank an' a 38 tooth gear sprocket. Well darn, "billy bike" is still too hard to pedal up a big ol' hill. So's I try the 7 inches crank with the same 38 tooth gear. Well, that's a little better....but still not easy enough for an old fart with skinny legs. Ok, let's try the 30 tooth gear an' see what happen. Holy crap, that exactly what I been say'n all along.....perfect. Just offhand, I would say the gearing on the "billy bike" is bout the same as OFM Barney's "barney bike", the trusty steed or what ever he calls it. I'm happy!!~! Now how the hell do ya shorten a bicycle chain???
So yesterday I went to my secret fish'n hole think'n I were gonna catch me up some trout or redfish. WRONG!!!! There weren't nobody even get'n a bite on live bait....shrimps an' stuff like that. Barney showed up with all his fish'n gear an' wades out in the middle of the shrimpboat channel, cast'n lures in every direction. I sit there an' watched him for bout a half a hour, but he don't know that....he was busy catch'n fish. An' then here pulls up this crazy lady....talk'n to herself and me at the same time. Boy howdy, what ever she was on, lit her up like a 230 volts Christmas tree or one them Olympics torch thingys. I jumps in "that jeep" an' I'm out of here.
Damn goat done eat up my favorite fly swapper. He just come in "da house" like he live here or something like that. Pick up stuff an' head out the door with it. Sadie Mae don't say a word. She just lay there look'n at that goat an' shake her head. Speak'n of Sadie Mae, she done fount her a fresh deposit of burro poop to roll around in. My god Sadie, you stink like poop. Now I got to give her a bath and cut her hair. "Where my scissors"? But maybe not today.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Monday Monday
Here it is Monday already. The weekend was a total loss at Billy Bob's
house. I should have went fish'n or something like that. But what did I
do? Spent 2 freak'n days on the internet look'n for a Jeep. Fount some
pretty nice ones too. But "My god, them are some high price automobiles".
Then I loaded up the water jugs and went off to town for some reverse
osmosis water out one them machines at the grocery store. Got me 21
gallons pumped into the fresh water tank on "da house". Two more trips
and I'll have a full tank. Then I built me up a big ol' pot of homemade
chicken noodle potato vegetable soup. Hot damn, that some good eat'n I betcha.
For some unknown reason, the old Billy Bob ain't been feel'n too good. So let's diagnose the situation like what a good mechanic would do on a car.
1. Does the engine start? Well yeah, but it misses and backfires out the tail pipe for the first couple hours until it warms up. Coughs an' sputters from the intake air system when ya give it some gas. Ain't got no git up an' go. Don't run the same since the hoses were replaced in 2008.
2. Does the suspension system have a smooth ride? Well no it don't. The shocks are all wore slap out. Drive shaft rattles and vibrates. Rubber grommets and ball joints are stiff. Alignment is all kattiwhompis. Tires are down to their last miles.
3. How is the steering? Well, ya see, it's like this. When I try to go straight, it goes off to the right or left, depending on the terrain. Sideswiping objects happen quite often.
4. Does the transmission work? Well, kind of. It's a four speed but only works in 1st gear and reverse. Slips when I take off too fast. The other 3 gears ain't been used in years.
Ok, I'm done with that. I weren't diagnosing "that jeep" in case that what you're think'n. I'm think'n "that jeep" is in better shape than I am when it comes to a diagnosis.
Sit'n here think'n maybe I aughter go fish'n. It ain't like I got better things to do. There's a little fish'n hole between Aransas Pass and Port Aransas I been want'n to put the "bubba boat in the water an' go catch me up some trout fish. There ain't no wind, the temp ain't too bad and there's a possibility the sun might come out.
Ok....I got to go do something. Sit'n on my ass is only caus'n blisters. Laters...
For some unknown reason, the old Billy Bob ain't been feel'n too good. So let's diagnose the situation like what a good mechanic would do on a car.
1. Does the engine start? Well yeah, but it misses and backfires out the tail pipe for the first couple hours until it warms up. Coughs an' sputters from the intake air system when ya give it some gas. Ain't got no git up an' go. Don't run the same since the hoses were replaced in 2008.
2. Does the suspension system have a smooth ride? Well no it don't. The shocks are all wore slap out. Drive shaft rattles and vibrates. Rubber grommets and ball joints are stiff. Alignment is all kattiwhompis. Tires are down to their last miles.
3. How is the steering? Well, ya see, it's like this. When I try to go straight, it goes off to the right or left, depending on the terrain. Sideswiping objects happen quite often.
4. Does the transmission work? Well, kind of. It's a four speed but only works in 1st gear and reverse. Slips when I take off too fast. The other 3 gears ain't been used in years.
Ok, I'm done with that. I weren't diagnosing "that jeep" in case that what you're think'n. I'm think'n "that jeep" is in better shape than I am when it comes to a diagnosis.
Sit'n here think'n maybe I aughter go fish'n. It ain't like I got better things to do. There's a little fish'n hole between Aransas Pass and Port Aransas I been want'n to put the "bubba boat in the water an' go catch me up some trout fish. There ain't no wind, the temp ain't too bad and there's a possibility the sun might come out.
Ok....I got to go do something. Sit'n on my ass is only caus'n blisters. Laters...
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