Sunday, November 25, 2012

Morn'n rambles

I were sit'n there on the couch last night bout 8pm and says...."damn, it's get'n cold in here". Holy crap, it's 54 degs an' drop'n fast. Low last night was 48 degs. So....what's in store for the rest of winter? From over 25 years of experience with winters on the gulf coast, all the way from Galveston to Port Aransas, Texas, it don't get no better than this. With bout 4 weeks of uncomfortable weather from a few freak storms, the Texas gulf coast is an excellent place to frolic on the beach, wet a hook in the rolling surf or take a leisure sun filled drive through the countryside.

Today there ain't no sunshine, so I ain't go'n to the beach and I ain't go'n fish'n. "So what the hell ya gonna do all day Billy Bob"? Look'n out the window, I'm think'n I may go outside, jump on the "billy bike" an' take a ride up the street. Or I could go out there, jack up "that jeep" and see what's mak'n all them noises com'n out from under it. Rattle rattle bang clang clunk....stuff like that. "Dishes Billy Bob...ya got a sink full of dishes". Oh yeah, I forgot bout those.

Life gets hard when ya let it pass ya by. You know, like sit'n on the couch watch'n nuttin on tv, wast'n time on trivial things....like wash'n dishes, when you should be outside enjoy'n what little time ya got left. I done just bout everthing I ever wanted to do....and then some. Well, I ain't bungee jumped yet. Came close wait'n in a long line, but not yet. I figger I done used up all my dreams. I was once knowed to be a dreamer ya know, but I don't dream no more. Boy howdy, if'n I were only 20 years younger......damn, them were the days. Ya wait too long an' it's gone.....poooof, just like that.

The OFM Barney brung up a good subject yesterday. Wild critters. When I was much younger, critters were my #1 priority on any outing. You know, camp'n, fish'n, hike'n through the woods. I was always on the lookout for a critter. Didn't make no matter what it were. We was camped for the weekend at Robbers Roost in southern Calif. Mountain lions roamed the area. I'm gonna go get me a mountain lion. Back then, man eat'n critter hunt'n was a sport and the old Billy Bob was a sportsman. So's I head off around the mountain with a little single shot .22 rifle and a hand full of ammunition. It was dark....very dark. I'm all alone. My mind begins to work. "What was that noise"? Rabbit. I see things what ain't there. "What's that over there"? A bush. Now I'm get'n rattled. Do mountain lions eat 18 year old mountain lion hunters? You bet they do. But they KILL ya first. Bite the shit out ya. At a fast walk, bout a hunnert mile a hour, I quietly work myself back towards camp....stumbl'n through bushes an' stuff like that. Up there on a big ol' rock I see something. Eyes. Two of 'em....an' they look'n at me. I fires off a shot in that general direction an'....I'm out of here....gone....pooof, just like that. Of course, nobody in camp believed one word of my close encounter with a wild mountain lion.

I'm get'n all excited bout the trip to Falcon lake. Gonna catch me up a 14 pounds bass I betcha. I said that last year didn't I??? Well, this year I gonna do it. Well actually, I'm gonna attempt to catch me up one over 10 pounds. Do I eat bass? Well no I don't. Taste like water an' you know, I don't like water. But now if'n I was to hook me up a bunch of bluegill, we'll have bluegill an' fried eggs for breakfast. Pan fried up real crisp like...eat tail an' all. Hot damn....yum yum eat'em up.

Ok, got things to do. Laters....


  1. Funny how many monsters hung out in the woods when we was kids.

  2. Yep, like Bob says, but some of those monsters would chase you home an hide in your bedroom, just waiting. . . . .