Dag nab it....I'm bored

Ya ain't gonna be get'n much out of the old Billy Bob this morn'n. Not only did I do nuttin yesterday, I didn't think bout nuttin neither. This is get'n old.

I tell Sadie Mae, "wanna go for a ride?". Lickity split she go out the door....ain't com'n back inside for nuttin. Once on the road, she lay down an' go to sleep. So why the hell was she sooo excitis to go for a ride an' then all she do is go to sleep?

We pull into Walmart an' pick up my meds. My God, $80. Jump back in "that jeep" an' head across the street to Barneys house. He's paint'n golf balls or something like that......multi color paint all over his fingers. We chit chat for a few an' I got to hit the road. Places to go....things to do. RIGHT!!!! I went back to "da house" an' lay my ass on the couch. That muscle in my right leg hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. DAYUM.....I need some relief.

I was gonna drive across the ferry boat to Port Aransas to pick up my mail, but ain't nuttin in the mail but a bank statement and monthly investment statement. I ain't been spend'n no money, so I have a pretty good idea....I ain't broke yet. Be'n that Port Aransas is a "hot spot" for tourist on holidays, I figgered I would wait till the holiday was over to pick up mail. Ya don't want to wait in a mile long ferry line when it's 94 degs outside. It's best to come back next week or early in the morn'n. I don't do "early in the morn'n", so it's next week.

Speak'n of golf. After what I went through the other day, I was think'n I would put my golf'n clubs on Craigslist and hang it up.....never play again. Well, that thought didn't last very long. I can't give up golf. I ain't broke 80 yet an' golf is the only exercise I get.
Me an' Barney was talk'n bout go'n golf'n this Friday an' he flat chicken out.....bak bak bak cluck cluck cluck.....holiday ya know. Well, the golf course is only 5 minutes from "da house"....I'm gonna go look see Friday morning how crowded they are. I need the exercise ya know.    

Nephew Joseph is home for a couple days from the oil fields. First thing he do this morn'n is cook me some breakfast. Couple over easy, bacon an' perfectly toasted an' buttered white bread. Now he's outside pull'n the oil pan off'n the 1 ton Dodge pick up. Says it's got a oil leak. Shoot, when I was a youngster, a oil leak was a simple way to change oil. Put in a quart every few days an' ya always have fresh oil.

Mid week doings

Whoooeeee, blogger sure is slow this morn'n. Didn't think I would ever get this far to make a post. Even had to sign in again....an' that took over 10 minutes. "What's up Margaret"???

Yesterday I was hurt'n, an' hurt'n ain't so funny. I ain't got over it yet. Ya see, ever time I get leg cramps, my calf muscles get all sore....hurt like hell. Feel like somebody walk up behind me an' kick me in the calf with steel toe shoes on. That what it feel like this morn'n anyhows. And I got to make a trip here in a bit.

Yesterday I was gonna go to Aransas Pass and pick up my meds at Walmart. Well they still in Aransas Pass this morn'n. I been slap out of my drugs for 3 days now. Well, not all of 'em.....just some. I take a blood pressure medication what I suppose just thins my blood so I don't get clogged up somewheres. Then I take Plavix what is another blood thinner. Don't know what it does, but when I don't take it, I know it. Then I have to take a aspirin every day, what is another blood thinner. Holy crap, no freak'n wonder I bleed like a stuff hog every time I get a tiny scratch. Dang, thin blood sucks.
As far as I'm concerned, the med that controls my tachycardia attacks, Coreg, is the most important to me. If ya ever sit there with your heart pump'n 160 beats a minute, ya know what I'm talk'n bout. Skeers hell out me. 

I get a kick out of these "wonder drug" commercials ya see on TV. Spend 1 minute tell'n ya how beneficial their drug is and then turn around and for the next two minutes tell ya bout a hunnert reasons why not to take it (side effects). How the hell can ya benefit from a drug what is gonna kill ya? I seen one the other day what said it could cause cancer in some users. What the hell???

Dad gum news from Washington an' all the scandals what are go'n on is a bit disturb'n if'n ya ask me. But then when ya roll back time to the late 1800's,  ya got the same thing go'n on back then. But I do get a kick out of how Obama is handel'n the situation....keep'n his lips tight an' don't say nuttin. That's food for thought.

More political news. I been watch'n the news on the tornado what hit Moore, Ok. What a sad affair that is. It takes some dedicated people to live in "tornado ally" like that. Some of 'em say they gonna rebuild. If'n it was me, I would be truck'n it to a safer place where there ain't no tornados. But, here's what I'm rant'n bout...Red Cross. Some of ya may not agree, but I remember Red Cross in 9/11, Katrina, New Jersey, Haiti.....the list goes on. Where the hell did all my money go? They don't even know. It's gone.....poooof, just like that. It didn't go to the people that you donated it for. Google 'Red Cross scandals'.

Ok, I'm done with todays political news. Got to get all slick up an' head for town. Slim chance I may even hook up with the OFM Barney for a late lunch. 

Oh my, I should a stay home

This is a continuation of yesterdays quote of "Billy Bob, you a idiot". Now why somebody would say something like that amazes me. Oh wait.....I said that.

Ya see, it's like this.....I don't always make the soundest of judgements...or in this case, decisions. Any doctor with a degree of some sort, even a veterinarian, would never suggest a "quick round of golf" acceptable in my latest condition. I thought I was gonna die. Hurted everwheres.

After I had swak my first three balls, I knowed I was in deep trouble. Them balls didn't go nowheres close to where I was aim'n at. Who the hell in their right mind would aim at trees? Out of 18 tee shots, I had one (1) ball land in the fareway.....probly bounced off'n a tree. By the time we reached the 16th hole, I was ready to give it up. Send Barney on to finish the last 3 holes and come back an' pick me up. I was beat up from that big toe all the ways up to the top my head. Hobble round the golf course look'n for my poorly struck golf balls like some kind of old cripple, or something like that. I thought I was gonna die.

OFM Barney don't know it, but the old Billy Bob farted 4 times while we was sit'n there in that Mexican restaurant. Although he did look at me kind of funny one time. Give me one them "Oh God, you didn't fart did ya?" looks. We had us some pretty dag gum good eat'n even if'n I do say so myself. The coffee was a close balance between fair an' sucks. 

 Well anyhows....after I got back to "da house" to lay down on the couch to pamper my wounds....I thought I was gonna die. My legs start cramp'n, that dad gum big toe was all swoled up an hurt'n and I fart a couple more times. A soothing nap was out of the question. It was a aspirin, alka seltzer, foot bath, muscle massage kind of afternoon.

Since I was supposed to go to Walmart in Aransas Pass yesterday to pick up my meds, I might head over that way this afternoon. This don't fit the 'procrastination' theory, but let me tell ya right now, I do knows how to procrastinate. For those who don't know how, it's so freak'n easy it would make your head spin. Ya just don't do it, put it off...until a later date. Works for me. It could work for you. 

Ok, I ain't got nuttin I'm gonna do....laters.

Monday golf day.....enjoy it

First off...Walmart sucks. Well, not Walmart as a whole, just the pharmacy dept. what don't know what they do'n. Well, maybe they know what they do'n, ....it's the computers. Ain't gonna go into details, but I got to make that long driver back to Aransas Pass today to pick up my meds.......Grrrrrrrr!!!!

Speak'n of Aransas Pass, that old Barney found hisself a very nice RV park. We was sit'n outside jaw'n back an' forth an' the only noise ya could hear was com'n from each other. There weren't no dust fly'n all over the place. Everbody has a pretty little green lawn. Big ol' concrete slabs to park on. Holy crap, that's my kind of place. An' there's trees all over the place.
"Dag gum it Billy Bob, ya forgot the camera". 

I don't get excitis much anymore, but this morn'n I so excitis I can hardly contain myself. Gonna meet up with OFM Barney at the golf ball swak'n place in a hour. Ain't gonna be no easy game this time around. The wind is already kick'n up. But what the hell, the wind has blowed before.

Ok, go to get myself all slicked up an' head on down the road a piece. "Gonna hit that ball so far it gonna take a week to find it". 

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Update:

Oh hell no................"Billy Bob, you a idiot"

Walmart run

"OK Billy Bob, just take a look at what ya done went an' done". Ya see, it's like this, my security program, or what ever ya wanna call it, suggested I update. Since it was free, I click this button. Then I have to go back an' "fix" stuff what got messed up.

I had every intention yesterday to go to town. I'm talk'n, I was ready. Had on clean underdrawers, hair all slicked back, sandals all shined up....I was ready. Boy howdy, "I was ready" didn't last very long. Lately I ain't been want'n to go nowheres. Just sit on the couch look'n at a TV screen with nuttin on worth look'n at. The old Billy Bob is at a all time low in his life when he sits there watch'n cook'n an' garden'n shows all day long. Don't ya just love "Create TV"?

So now today, I got to go to town. Walmart that is. I got one day of meds left.....need refills. The closest Walmart is just down the road a piece bout 15 miles or so, but I have a choice of many Walmarts. One in Rockport. One in Aransas Pass. One in Portland. Bout a dozen in Corpus Christi (3 I think). And the closest in Calallen. When ya shop'n for drugs, you can go to any of 'em. Of course, I could use a few grocery items too. Get'n tired of eat'n moldy bread an' sour milk. I like the HEB here in Sinton, but they ain't got a bakery. I want some donuts. Ummmm....donuts!

I assassinated one them pesky sneaky little mice last night. I was sit'n there on the couch watch'n some crap on the TV an' I hear a "pop". What the hell was that? I check the mouse trap what I put under the dashboard an' there he was. A dead mouse in the trap. Stink'n little bastard ain't gonna be chew'n on MY wires no more. Now if'n I can just catch his brothers, sisters, cousins an' "in laws", I'll be happy. There's got to be an easier way.

Well, the humidity an' warm nights has finally hit the coastal bend. I know what it's like when this happens 'cause I lived here for 20 years. Ya don't sleep at night. Not with the a/c turn off anyhows. Last night was no exception. Think'n I would save a quarter, I turn the a/c off before go'n to bed. By 1:30am, I would have give a hunnert dollar to be comfortable. I get up, turn on the a/c an' sit on the couch till 4am watch'n more crap on TV. That why I didn't get up this morn'n till 9:30. Sheesh, I got me one excit'n life.

Ok....clean underdrawers, a fresh shirt an' Wranglers, sandals all shine up, hair all slick back in a ponytail....let's go to Walmart. No, Sadie Mae don't get to go. Too hot to leave her in the car even with the winders roll down. It's summer in south Texas.   

don't shoot no guns inside "da house"

Well....no. I didn't get to go play a round of golf yesterday. I was heart broken.

Ya see, by the time a refresh'n shower had been attended to, the winds picked up to more than a slight breeze. We talk'n bout 20 mile a hours gale force winds. Blowed the "billy bike" slap over, awning flap'n in the wind, that "damn goat" want'n in "da house" for relief.....yup, the wind was blow'n. Well, maybe it weren't all that bad, but it were enough for a "excuse". Sides that, I were skeered of being stranded on the 15th hole with a swoled up foot. Still a bit to early to be tak'n chances like that.

Oh Oh....we have a problem Houston. I were sit'n here at the computer this morn'n.....sip'n up a cup and read'n blogs. Out the corner my eye I spy a movement. It's a damn mouse. In broad daylight. He come run'n across the floor lickity split for the kitchen. When he see me, he come to a screech'n halt, turn tail an' he gone....pooof, just like that. Back up under the dashboard where I got a gazillion wires an' other eatable components. I got one them electronic critter deterrent gizmo thingys, but apparently, the damn thing don't work. So now, how the hell am I gonna get that mouse to find a better home somewheres else? I thought bout shoot'n his ass, but the first rule of RV'n is...."don't shoot no guns inside "da house".

Now the reason I say that....a few year back, my son Robert got into my firecrackers. I got some "big'uns" what sound just like a big ol' gun. Robert fire one them things up to toss out the door. He weren't no Little League baseball player, so he miss the door by a couple feet. "Big'un" firecracker lay'n on the floor, fuse burn'n fast. That sucker go off with a loud "BOOOM" what make yer ears ring like gingle bells around Christmas time. That why ya "don't shoot no guns inside da house".

I don't know bout anybody else, but have ya notice the flys? "Sally da house" is full of 'em. Hunnerts of 'em. Don't know where they all come from, but them suckers has got to go. I done wear out a brand span'n new fly swapper an' use up a half a can of spray in two days....an' they are back the next day. I even had to close the door so's they wouldn't come back in. NOTE: They are back again this morn'n. Flys suck.

And then....I got to think'n bout blog posting. The most interest'n blogs I read, contain "daily life experiences". Tell a little bit about the writer....what they do, did an' done. How they feel, what ails 'em....stuff like that. Blogs are for shar'n with others. Before ya know it, ya got a whole family of viewers. Look at your side bar....see all them followers?.....they want to know. What's my take on "cut an' paste"? Not a whole bunch....but that don't mean I don't read 'em. I know that behind every cut an' paste, there is a real person want'n to "come out".

Hot damn it's a beautiful day outside today. That what I said bout yesterday too. Other than the wind an' "hot", south Texas is hav'n beautiful weather. Speak'n of hot....yesterday got up to somewheres bout 96 degs here at "da house"...accord'n to Walmart special temp thingy. Damn I still think that thing lies to me. It's 94 degs as I type this....accord'n to that damn unpredictable Walmart special temp thingy. A nice 20 mile a hour breeze out the SSE......great for "bubba" boat'n an' kayak'n. An' golf ball swak'n. Or any other outdoor activity where ya don't mind stuff blow'n all over the place. Have ya ever see a tent take off in the wind? That's funny. Sucker go a mile before it settle down for you to retrieve it. Run over little kids play'n on the beach....stuff like that.

Well, that's it for today. I got two days to get my foot right for Mondays golf swak'n with OFM Barney. If'n he wins me, I have a excuse to fall back on. Like old "pesky neighbor" Wayne used to say...."my author-itis is bother'n me today".   

 

Liv'n happily in poverty

I look at my blog header picture.....that's nice. A comfortable boondock'n campsite located in the middle of no where. No electric an' no water....nice. Southern California at "the slabs bout 2010".

So why did I make the decision to live in a house on wheels in the first place? Why not a studio apartment with a BMW sit'n in the driveway? Why didn't I go to college an' get me some of that "yuppy" education so I could get me a high paying job? Why didn't I buy me a 4 bedroom Colonial style house next door to the Jones.....with a big ol' swim pool in the back yard? Why did I choose the life of poverty over one of the 2%? I could have been one of the 2% ya know.....if'n I had wanted to.

For many years I been ask'n myself them questions. The only answer I came up with is that "I've been happy" with just get'n by. Mr Jones ain't never been happy with his fancy cars an' stuff....and that big ol' swim pool in the back yard. He spent his whole life try'n to out do Mr Rockenfelter next door to him. Mr Rockenfelter weren't happy neither 'cause he was try'n to out do his other neighbor, Dr. Margaret Fiddleburger. Ya see what I'm talk'n bout? It's better to be happy with you life than to spend in in jealousy over what your neighbor has.

Now I ain't say'n that my life has been a big ol' bed of red roses. I had me some good times an' I had me some bad. I been all the ways down to the bottom of the barrel a few time, pick'n out what little morsels I could find. I didn't want to live like them people in that subdivision on the other side of town. I didn't want to owe more than I could earn in a lifetime. I wanted to be free....and that exactly what I am. I don't owe nobody nuttin. I got a couple dollars in the bank. I got a "home" what has wheels on it, an' I can do most anything I damn well please. Like....if'n I was want'n to, I could go play me a round of golf this afternoon.....with my "poverty" golf'n sticks (clubs).

Speak'n of golf. It's absolutely beautiful in south Texas again today. There ain't no wind, so there's a good possibility that by 1pm, you can find the old Billy Bob hobbl'n round on the golf course swak'n up little white golf'n balls. The swell'n has gone down on my foot and I been able to get around pretty good with out holler'n "MOMS".

This is yesterday's swell'n, not today's.
Niece Emma has been help'n me out for the last few days. Dishes, laundry, sweep the floor....stuff like that. Fix me something to eat. She's been a welcome help. "Emma, fix me a sammich an' bring me a beer".
No, I don't drink no beer. Quit that shit long time ago. Beer costed me too much in my lifetime. Don't do that no more. But.....I been want'n some that dark beer here lately. I useta like the hell out of dark beer.....well, any beer for that matter. Got throwed out of AA one time 'cause I showed up drunk. Just kidd'n, AA took up too much beer drink'n time. Best thing I ever did was to quit drink'n beer to extreme. Stagger round not know'n where you at....do stupit shit.

Speak'n of get'n drunk an' stagger round. I use to hang round pool halls an' bars with pool tables. I was a good pool shot, especially when I was snockered. We played for money. Not high dollar, but many time I go home with over a hunnert dollars hang'n out my pockets. Of course, there was many times my pockets was flat empty too. All total my days of play'n pool, I'm probably down bout $5000....give or take. Can ya make a liv'n play'n pool. NO!

Ok, got things to do....laters.