Golf ball swak'n is sooooo much fun

Although yesterdays morn'n temp was rather cold, yesterday was a wonderful an' beautiful day.
Hot damn, it were cold yesterday morn'n......but I gonna told ya right now, me an' old Barney had us a good time. Take yer choice, they both mean the same.

I could sit here an' write a big ol' long story bout yesterdays golf'n game with the OFM Barney, but I know better. I'm think'n that out of bout a hunnert people, me an' Barney are the only ones what give a care bout golf. But wait, I got to tell ya bout just one hole. I steps up to the tee on hole number 1. Sits my ball on that tee an' I rares back an' swak that ball right down the middle the fareway. For my next shot, I'm in a position I can knock that sucker up on the green with one perfectly hit shot. That's what they do on TV ya know. I pull out my trusty 5 wood.....what always goes the correct distance and straightness. BABAAAMM!!!!....I clobber that little ball with all my mite. It goes off to the left, way left, an' lands on a tee box for another hole. What the hell"??? Story short....I mark down a 7 for a par 4 hole. All in all, me an' Barney had us such a wonderful game, we gonna play again today.You gonna hear bout it tomorrow.

After we ate us up a great afternoon meal at the Mexican eat'em up, I headed home so's I could lay down for a bit. Took me up a big ol' aspirin an' relax....didn't do nuttin. Had me a couple visitors....one ask me bout my golf'n game.....I was in hog heaven. The other, he don't give a flip one way or the other bout no golf'n game.

I had done forgot all bout it, but spring break in Port Aransas is in full swing. I need to go to Port Aransas. Ha....I won't be go'n this week that for sure.
I used to live over there ya know, an' I know all bout them spring breaks. 'member I tole ya bout the year Joan Jett showed up to do a concert? There was estimated over 200,000 kids scream'n an' a holler'n.....drink'n beer. I was stuck in the bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper traffic. Fights broke out an' Joan was removed from the scene by helicopter.

Ok, my mind has gone blank again. Maybe something excit'n will happen today....like get me a good score on the golf'n course. Barney fall in the water. Something like that.  

Golf ball swak'n with frozen balls (golf balls)

I don't know. It's freak'n cold out there again this morn'n. I ain't talk'n no below zero cold, but it's cold enough to crank up my Mr Heater for a bit....38 degs accord'n to my Walmart special temp thingy. Mama Nature piss me off some times.

Ya see, yesterday, me an' my golf'n buddy the OFM Barney was talk'n bout a round of golf ball swak'n this morn'n. An' we pretty much decided we would meet up this morn'n for a excit'n round. Now if'n ya know anything bout how the weather works in south Texas, ya can plan on the temp be'n right bout 58 degs at tee time. Give or take ya know. Damn, I hope I don't freeze to death. Look'n out the winders, I see plenty of sunshine an' hardly any wind. I can do that.

Yesterday I went outside an' did some "stuff". Didn't amount to a whole lot, but I did get me a little exercise....much needed exercise. Grabed holt to a golf'n club an' swak some golf balls....again. Just like I did a couple days ago. An' had to sit down....again, just like I did a couple days ago. Went out to crank up the POS "that jeep". Freak'n battery was deader 'an a doornail. Strung out a hunnert feet of cord an' hook up a battery charger.....today it should crank. Oh yeah, I put a new set of floor mats in the "billy jeep". Look pretty darn good too. Even fit. I know some stuff bout buy'n floor mats. Or maybe it could be the floor mat people know how to design floor mats. Either way, I'm happy.

That was when a stranger sneeked up on me an' scare hell out me. I don't usually let that happen, but I was so wrapped up in look'n for something I didn't notice....had my back turned. It were the OFM Barney. We sat outside an' talk for what seem like a couple hours or more. Was a wonderful visit. Of course, that damn goat had to introduce his self to Barney. Sneeked up behind him an' nosed Barney's hat. Of course Barney come out his chair. Hee hee....it was funny.

It's not often I run slap out of words an' something to talk bout, but damn....I'm at a total loss.

A bulldozer in my bed

Remember that diesel powered back hoe I was tell'n ya bout yesterday? Well guess what....the guy buyed up a D-8 bulldozer yesterday. Drove that sucker through my yard an' park that sucker in my bed. Have ya ever sleep with a dad gum bulldozer? Ya wake of rather stiff ya know.....hurt a little.

Got me a little golf'n exercise yesterday. Went outside, grab me up a 60 deg wedge an' hit some golf balls straight up in the air. That didn't last long. Had to go sit down for a few. Then me an' Sadie Mae walk round the yard a bit. Dad gum damn goat follow us everwhere we go. "Ya got anything to eat in that coffee cup"???

Ok, before we get along too far this morn'n, let me tell ya how to fix a steak. Ya see, nephew bringed me a fresh grilled steak last night. I bite into it an' it don't taste like "meat". It tasted like the stuff he marinated it in. With no salt an' pepper. When God invented cows, he made them to taste just like Texas beef. An' that's what a fresh grilled steak is supposed to taste like.....meat. With a little salt an' pepper added of course. If'n ya want your steak to taste like marinade, sprinkles of spices or steak sauce......just put that stuff on a slice of bread an' dig in.

See, I tole you. That damn weather guy don't know nuttin. He said today would have a chance of rain showers, high winds in the 30 mile a hour range an' a bit chilly. Ha.....the sun is shin'n, there ain't but a slight 10 mile a hour breeze.....an' it's nice an' warm out there. I could'a went to the golf course. Oh wait....a gust of wind just blowed my door closed.

I suppose I broke nephew Frank's heart when I fired him. I didn't really fire him for the quality of work he was do'n, but mostly so I wouldn't have me a heart attack try'n to explain how to do the job. We talked it over this morn'n an' all is good. Now I got to figger out how I'm gonna clean all them damn winders.

Speak'n of golf ball swak'n. Have ya ever had something ya really like to do? Mine is golf ball swak'n. Ya get all excitis think'n bout it? But the weather stops ya from do'n it. Well, that's what happen to the old Billy Bob. Ever time I get all excitis an' make plans bout go'n to the golf course, "mama nature" puts in her two cents....runes (ruins) my plans. Wimmins like to go outside, get on their hands an' knees an' dig weeds out their flower gardens. Men like to go climb aboard their John Deere lawn tractor an' cut grass. All that kind of stuff is fun, but look out....here come mama nature. Well now, some that stuff is actually work.

I was sit'n over there on the couch last night for my 30 minutes of "think time". I do that most every night before I head off to bed. You know, think bout what ya gonna do with the rest of your life.....or tomorrow. Well last night, I thought up bout a hunnert things I could write bout on my blog today. That's NOT what my think'n time is all about. My blog shouldn't take up so much of my thoughts an' time. My god, I'm addicted. I like my blog an' enjoy writ'n on it......but.....it's taking over my life. Damn, I need a project of some kind.

I'll leave ya all now. Get me some shoes on an' get off'n this office chair an' go do something....for a change. Laters!!!

Warsh'n winders

My rant today.......
One email tells me how I should write my blog.
Do not write as a redneck....use spell checker.
Do not mention your aches and pains.
Do not write about more than one subject.
Shorten writings to no more than 100 words.

The other.....
You are a idiot. No one wants to read what you say.
*I suspect this was from a troll*

I was hurt when I read these emails....not on the same day. They came from two different people on different days. I don't know either of them.

My rant is over......

I don't know what happen last night, but I slept till 11am this morn'n. My back feeled like I was run over with a great big ol' diesel powered backhoe dig'n ditches. "What the hell did you do yesterday Billy Bob"? Well, I didn't do a hell of a lot, but I did get quite upset. Ya see, I tole my nephew Frank I had some work for him to do. Clean'n inside "da house". Dashboard an' front winders an' work his way back. Make his self some ready pocket change.

Frank sit there for the next 10 minutes tell'n me bout his excellent work ethics....how good he was at detail'n an' stuff like that. Then I had to show him how to turn on the vacuum cleaner to vacuum the dash. Then I give him a sprayer full of my "special" cleaner....of which he said "I know of a better cleaner". Then, for the next 5 minutes I had to listen to how much better "his" cleaner was than mine. Then he go for a handfull of old dirty rags.....to clean my dash. "No Frank, the rags are dirty, the paper towels are clean".

Dash is now clean, my heart rate hover'n right bout 150 from explain'n the simplicity of clean'n a dirty dashboard. It's now time to apply a good coat of ArmorAll, a excellent dashboard protector against the extreme radiation from the sun in south Texas (a little spice added for flavor). For the next 20 minutes I argued with Frank that one squirt is not near enough for a dash of this size. Blood pressure hover'n around the 160 or so mark now.

Next on my list is the great big ol' front winders. Frank grabs holt to a dirty rag. "No Frank, I done tole you....paper towels". One little squirt of ammonia/water mix an' Frank go to town, work'n from the bottom up. For the next 5 minutes I explain to Frank how to wash winders. Half way done with the first, now streaked winder....I fire Frank. Blood pressure hover'n up there close to 180....or so.

I spent some time pick'n up stuff an' put'n it it's proper places. I'm down to where I can see the floor now. "My god, where did all this stuff come from"?  I clean off an' wash my dirty couch. Well most of it. I bag up trash.....I sweep some goat poop out the door. I'm get'n me some exercise I'm think'n. I take me up two 500mg aspirins. Eat a big ol' bowl of soup. Ahhhh, I'm gonna live.

As recommended by email.....hahahahaha.....LOLOLOLOL, I'll stop now. But....I could go on for another hour or so with a bunch of nonsense an' stories. Maybe tomorrow.

Harley chopper of yesteryear

There comes a time in every mans life that he has to take a close look. Not only at his self, but those that surround him. Ponder on that for a few minutes.....!!!!

There was a time in my life when I hung out with a crowd. I was that little guy over there all by his self sit'n in the seat of a home built Harley chopper. The crowd was the Texas Bandidos Motorcycle Club out of the Galveston Texas chapter. When I found out this group was into violence on some occasions, beat'n people up an' stuff like that, I promptly disengaged my self from the group an' went my merry way. 

Ya see, I was only 26 year old (1967) an' I wanted me a fine motorcycle. I looked at a Harley Sportster what was for sale, but my biker buddy, a big ol' boy, tole me that was a "girlie" bike. I didn't have $400 to pay for it anyhows. But I did have enough to buy a 1949 Harley frame an' set of forks off'n a 1946. In a guys garage, I found a 1952 Harley motor an' transmission for $50. Tore apart in a couple boxes. I began building. A year later, after investing tons of $$$$, I had me a work'n Harly chopper. All painted up in "cherry red". Chrome all over the place. A custom BSA gas tank. A custom seat off'n some English bike. A tiny seat on the back fender for the "chick a babies". An' a fancy homemade chromed sissy bar. I was uptown.....go a hunnert mile a hour. Sure do wish I had me some photos of that motorcycle.

Due to the results of my recent posts, today's post will end right here. I'm think'n I need to find something excit'n to do. 

Updated....soups on...A rambl'n mind in all directions

Today is Sunday....right? The further I go down the road, the less I know what day it is. Twicest this week I done that. Then I got to think'n bout that.....what difference does it make? Makes no difference at all if'n you happen to be retired.

Yesterdays trip to Walmart was a total success. Well, almost. Ya see, Walmart don't carry lumber an' stuff like that. I needed a short 2x6....an' they didn't have it. I filled my list all but a couple three items. Went up to the checkout lines....an" I want you lookie here, I'm next in line. My God, they had 8 lanes open on a Saturday afternoon.

All was well push'n that cart up an' down all them aisles, until a little over bout a hour an' a half passes by. That when I start feel'n weak all over an' look'n to find a place to sit down for a bit. I still got to go all the ways to the other side the store. Pick up my meds ya know. I'll just go unload all the stuff I bought an' come back in. "Ok, where the hell did ya park the damn car"? Ten minutes sit time in the "billy jeep", I go back in....then head home. I miss a turn.

I suppose I'm bout the only one what don't pay no attention to time changes. Had it not been for my computer show'n the wrong time, I would think it was a hour earlier....accord'n to my clock hang'n on the wall. Well actually, it's the other way around......I just didn't know. But know'n the exact hour of the day is just like know'n what day of the week it is. It just don't make no matter one way or a nuther. The way I look at it, the sun come up in the morn'n an' the sun set in the even'n. Anything in between is day light.

A coupl'a years ago I was think'n I wouldn't live long enough to be affected by what's go'n on in the world. But now, I'm hav'n me some different thoughts on that. Things are happen'n way too fast an' I would probly have to die tomorrow to miss what's planned/pushed/forced for our future. Politics suck. Please don't comment left or right on this.

The cold front hit last night. Not with the vengence I was expect'n. Very little rain an' moderate winds an' a low temp of 45. Now that ain't so bad when ya consider the rest of the country further north....but I still don't like it a bit. This winter has put a hurt'n on the old Billy Bob. I like to go outside an' do stuff. Sit out there sip'n up a cup...swak'n up some golf'n balls....stuff like that. With the warm sunshine bear'n down on me. Hmmmmm, how ya spell that....bear'n or bare'n? Anyhows, sit'n in "da house" all winter sucks big time.

Due to the fact that I was so weak at Walmart yesterday, today I will eat. Don't eat every day ya know. Gonna brew me up a big pot of Billy Bob beef stew soup. Found me some froze assorted vegetables what gonna really taste good in it. Got a big ol' chunk of beef (2 1/2 #'s) with lot's a marbles an' fat on it.

Speak'n of marbles.....there was a time in my life I had me over a thousand marbles. I was a gambler with marbles, play all kinds of marble games. That's what ya did in the early 50's....ya played marbles. The 6 foot circle game was my fav, but I weren't the best shot. Shooters was a special marble....ya protect 'em with your life....or a simple fist fight. Got me a few black eyes an' bruises over a shooter. Ya ever hear of "hit one ya git 'em all"? That's where my collection growed.

Ya see how my mind works. I mention one thing an' before I know it I'm think'n bout something else completely unrelated to what I was talk'n bout. Damn, I hope I never lose that.

Somebody ask me if'n I want to play a round of golf. Well yeah, I want to "try". My back issue would be the only reason I don't show up, but I bet ya a dollar I'll be there.....think'n the exercise will help my back.

Speak'n of golf......follower Joey said he bought some golf'n clubs. Dang I cain't wait to hear bout his first outing on the golf course. Come on Joey, click on Billy Bob's Place....let us know.

Ok....think'n I may have wasted a bunch of time....I'm out of here.
********************************************************************

See what I was tole you.....soups on.
 

Cold front....again????

Oh boy, an' here I thought I was do'n so good. Ya see, I ain't been sit'n on that couch over there. Got to get that sucker fixed.

For the last three nights, I been stay'n bout 8 feet from that couch. An' in the morn'ns, my back has felt much better. Until THIS morn'n. Grrrrrrrrr to bad backs.

An' Grrrrrrr to these dad gum cold fronts that keep blow'n in my yard. Just got rid of one the other day an' I got all excitis. Another one is to arrive this afternoon some time with day time temps dip'n into the upper 50's an' lower 60's for the next few days. I don't believe everthing the weather guys say, so I'm gonna be expect'n something like 60's an' 70's. But this front is only gonna last a few days. Hope this one is the last one.

Boy howdy I had me some good memories look'n through them photos yesterday. Sure do wish they had digital cameras when I was grow'n up. An' be as cheap as they are today. The first digital camera I bought was back in bout '99. The pictures it took was of poor quality an' that sucker costed me close to $400. Used it for bout 3 years an' it give up the ghost. Now ya can get one of excellent photo quality for less than a hunnert dollar.....an' it fit in your pocket.

Blowed a 12 volt fuse yesterday. Goes to the antenna amplifier an' the propane monitor. It were a 1 amp fuse, so I stuck a 5 amp in it. Don't think that fuse gonna blow no more. In the ten years I own "Sally da house", this is the first 12 volt fuse I burn up. Oh wait, there was another one a couple three year ago. Went to the auto emergency brake system. It also serves as a parking brake. Transmission had no parking pawn. Park position is the same as neutral. Ya gotta have a automatic park'n brake....an in a emergency situation, ya pull the little yeller knob out.