Broke down back

oy howdy!!! That fall out that chair did a number on me. All day long all I did was sit an moan how bad I got it. Can't stand up straight and every time I take a breath of life giving air it's like a knife blade pok'n me right here.

First I thought it were my kidneys so's I been double dos'n on cranberry pills....to no avail.

 

Today the fish guy showed up and dump a load of fish in the pond. They was swim'n out cross that water like they was "free".

Well, that didn't do much good for old Billy Bob 'cause they was all on the other side scoot'n for cover. I did manage to snag me up one, but it was too little. Bout 3 bite, that sucker be gone. I rekon fish'n will be better after them fish figger out the only food they gonna get, old Billy Bob put on that hook. Ya don't rekon they might be a mite shocked after the ride to "da pond" do ya??? With the temps (80 degs) I would imagine them fish ain't gonna live very long. Sure wish I were somewhere that's cooler. This heat is git'n to me. Make me sweat and smell like a goat....and I ain't us'n my precious coffee water for a shower. I'm think'n I may make it back to Deming where I can take a loooong shower.

I were gonna not shave till I was catch'n fish...just let it grow out and look like a old timey prospector. Well, since I have one fish under my belt, I just shave off a little bit. Now I gonna look like a billy goat.

All is well 'cept'n for my back giv'n me a fit. Maybe tomorrow it be better.

Broke down fish pole

Ok Billy Bob, now what ya gonna do since ya broke yer fish pole???
"I knows 'zackly what I gonna do. Gonna go to Walmart and buy me a new one".

And that exactly what I do. But...ya know how it is when ya ain't been to Walmart in a long time...ya buy stuff. Stuff ya don't need. Costed me almost a hunert dollar just so's I can fish and catch no fish. I always been want'n one them fancy spin reels...now I got one. Plus a brand spank'n new fish pole just like the one I broke. Well...the pole ain't broke, but I done wore the reel slap out. Then....I had to have me some more bait to throw out in da water where there ain't no fish. Yep...old Billy Bob all ready to catch me a bunch of fish. Now, what I were think'n while I was sit'n out there fish'n, was what more could an old retired fart want out of life sides lay'n back and do'n nuttin? Here what I have to look at all day...can't beat that with a big ol' stick.

Plumb forgot to take anything out the freezer for supper, so ya know what I gonna be eat'n. Well, I doctor up that pot of burn chili with a can of maters, pick out all them black burn thingys, cook me up a batch of elbow noodle thingys and there ya have it.....supper. Still sucks!!!

Burnt chili

My God Billy Bob, what the hell did ya do to the chili?
"Well, it like this....I were outside watch'n my fish pole when I doze off and all sudden I hears "smoke"
Ya ain't gonna eat it are ya?
"And exactly what do you suppose I gonna eat since I ain't catch no fish"

That's the way it happen... I ate burnt chili for dinner.... and yes it sucked.

Speak'n of burnt beans....my first one wife liked to cook stuff "fast". I were lean'n on the fence talk'n to my neighbor and he holler..."there's smoke com'n out your kitchen...should I call the fire department"??? I just and says...no, that's ok, my wife is just cook'n dinner. She had put a pot of pintos on high heat and went back to watch'n t/v. Need I say more???

Wonderful day at "da pond"

Boy howdy, did ya see the sunshine and stuff outside? It almost summer time. Today suppose to be 79 degs....just perfect for sit'n outside on da porch sip'n a cup with the fish pole in the water.

Yistyerday I posted a pic.....it were took last year 'cause I ain't took one this year. I think it were that old coot up in Dallas what say something bout that bicycle....so let me tell ya bout that bicycle. A while back my doc told me I need to exercise....so I went to Walmart and bought me a brand spank'n new bicycle. I rode it around the park in Deming a few time but it made me tired...and cranky. Then I figger I would put a motor on it and get lots of exercise start'n it. But a motor won't fit. Then it got a flat tire...and now it sits there just "do'n nuttin".

Today I gots to do up the dishes...but I don't want to use up my coffee water. So it's down to the pond with a load of dirty dishes. Seem like a mans work is never done. Lug Nut do a good job wash''n dishes but this stuff is crusted on to the point he would never get them clean enough to cook in.

Ok....gotta go throw the pole in the water...catch me some fish.

Now ya done went an done it Billy Bob...ya done pull a "fall out that chair" stunt. Ya see...it were like this, I were sit'n there in my Walmart lawn chair and I reach for my coffee cup and all a sudden that chair just fall over....toss'n old Billy Bob on his ass. Once old Billy Bob get down like that, it take a while to get back up. And when I did....Oh crap....that hurt like the dickins. Spend all afternoon hunch up like "hunch back" in that movie I can't spell.....with the acid and stuff. What was his name...Egor or something like that??? Anyhows, I took me a hand full of drugs and feel'n no pain.

No....I didn't catch no fish. But I ain't give up...yet.

Four fish

Ok....I done got it all figger out. Old Billy Bob ain't never been skunk when it come to fish'n, but things ain't look'n too good. There ain't but four fish in this pond. I caught one the other day and then this morn'n I snag another one. Now, if I'm think'n right, there ain't but two left....what causes a big problem. I were depend'n on catch'n fish for my meals 'cause I didn't bring no groceries with me "cept'n for a sack of flour and some bacon. And I get'n tired of eat'n biscuits and bacon three time a day. Hehehehe...read that in one my shoot'em up cowboy books. 

Speak'n of groceries....do ya ever wonder what go'n on when all ya find at the stores is "low calorie", "low sodium", "low fat", "no sugar added" type of stuff???? My concern is if this stuff is being forced on us....specially me since I need all the fat and calories I can get. Now don't be gonna tell me this stuff is healthy 'cause I ain't listen to that crap. Healthy food put meat on your bones, not take it off. By the way....I don't eat beef. Well maybe just a little.....like a hamburger once a month or something like that. But if'n I were to buy me a steak, it would be one them with a 1 inch ring of fat all the way round. Fry that sucker up blood rare and save all them fat drip'n for some gravy. That healthy!!!

For some ya folk what don't know where old Billy Bob at, I'm 9 mile from downtown Yuma, Az. at a place call Fortuna Pond....what ain't no bigger than bout 125 yard wide and bout maybe a quarter mile long....or something like that. What ya figger....bout 8 acres??? If'n I was to swak a golf ball cross it I could tell exactly how wide it are. Look like a 8 iron from here.

 

They got away

Well shoot....I ain't got nuttin to write about.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time.....I were liv'n on the farm and we six kids walked 3 1/2 mile to school. Well, last time I were in Missouri, I went to the old farm house and the old school house. The old farm house is still there but the old school house ain't.... 'cept'n for the foundation and basement. Burn to the ground way back in bout '49 or "50. In my motor home I have a piece of the roof gutter what I fount lay'n on the ground. In the middle of the basement was an old coal furnace what kept us warm in the winter. Most of it is still there. Out on a big ol' tree is the remnants of the rope swing still tied to that limb.

That old rope swing bring back the memories of when I were a daredevil...evil Billy Bob. I would swing that thing till the teacher yell..."Billy, git out that swing". That when I do my evil jump...fly through the air like superman. Well them sissy boys dare me one time to jump out the other way....downhill. What I did. I were yell'n.... "mom's....I'm bleed'n". I skeer't that teacher lady plumb to death. I tored my brand spank'n new homemade shirt, skin't up my elbows and had a rooster egg bump on my head.

Then fish's just ain't gonna get in my fry pan. I sit out there all day long put'n on more bait and throw'n it back out. Two fishes gobbled up on my line and headed for the cat tail reeds. That were the last time I see them. I 'spect they were somewheres round 5 pounds or more....and old Billy Bob knows what he talk'n bout.
Big'uns always get away. Ask any fisherman.

Finish off the spaghetti tonight since there weren't no fish to cook up. Even had enough for Lug Nut and Sadie Mae. Hope they don't poot all night long.

Speak'n of poot'n.....I were mind'n my own business in Walmart one time when I got this urge. I turn down this aisle where there weren't no people. Gonna let off a little quiet one. Well, ya know what gonna happen. That right....I rip a loud one....like a trumpet. Two old ladies had just come round the corner and one says to the other..."did you fart"? Hehehehe....I were gone.....pooot....just like that. Me and girlfriend was eat'n at this really nice "greasy spoon" when I got the urge.....let it out easy Billy Bob. Nope...Billy Bob don't do nuttin easy. Then I just lean back and look at girlfriend with that "did you fart?" look. Everyone else was look'n at her too. Boy howdy did I pay for that one.

Ok...I'm done...out of here!!!  

Plan gone sour

Woke up this morn'n with a plan in mind. I were gonna catch me a bunch of fish. Throw my pole in the water and sit back just wait'n. That when Lug Nut says to me...."dad, the game warden want to talk to ya". See, I tole ya, they was wait'n in the bushes for me to catch a fish, then jump out and take me to jail. Ha Ha Ha....I were done ahead that guy. I whip out my Walmart fish license what I got yesterday and all is well.

But bout noon time I had me a plan what I were gonna do with all them fish I was gonna catch. Have me a big ol' fish dinner with some Ranch beans and some fried taters. Ha....look like I gonna be eat'n spaghetti what left over from the slabs. Now don't get me wrong, I knows how to fish...been do'n it for years. Remember that big ol' lightning strike the other night....the one I almost pee my pants??? Well it skeered them fish so bad they still hid'n in the bushes. And the water is still a mite muddy from all the rain. You wait till tomorrow fishes....Billy Bob gonna git ya.

Speak'n of spaghetti, have ya ever put chili powder and LoseAnna red in the sauce. Learnt that trick many years ago when I didn't have any Italian seasoning. Been eat'n it that way ever since....yum yum eat'm up. I rekon I got me enough for tomorrow night just in case them fish's don't cooperate....but I'm think'n Lug Nut and Sadie Mae will be eat'n spaghetti tomorrow night.