Happy Thanksgobblin

Boy howdy, seems just like yesterday I was sit'n at the "slabs" brew'n up a big ol' pan of brown sugared marshmellered sweet taters. Candied yams to some ya.....but they ain't yams, they sweet taters.

Some of ya probably have no idea what I'm talk'n when I mention "slabs". If'n ya wanna take a few minutes, just Google slab city one time. Boy howdy, then ya gonna know.

I were look'n round "da house" last night an' there ain't nuttin anywheres I look that matches my brand spank'n new couch. It's a sore thumb. But let's back up for a minute, it ain't a embarrassment like it used to be. I'm too old to worry bout simple things like what freak'n color it is. For Dizzy.....cameras don't always record what the eye sees. With the sunshine, yesterdays photo changed the color from a light tan/brown to a beautiful pumpkin color. I can live with that.

Everybody by now know old Billy Bob gonna change design of stuff. Where do you store all your can goods? If'n ya got a house, ya put them in a freak'n pantry/closet thingy. But if'n ya live in a RV, ya put them anywheres they will fit. Well, I change design of a perfectly good couch to alleviate the can goods problem. A couple cabinet magnets and slide lock thingys and there ya have it. A hunnert pound can goods under there.

NOTE: This is not a political post.
I were watch'n that special on PBS last night. All them singers at a Thanksgiving gathering at the White House or somewheres like that. I done fall head over hill in love with one them ladies what was sing'n to me. Had goose bumps an' all that stuff. Then when it was over, that damn Obama feller get up an' kiss her right on the cheek. What the hell wrong with that guy go'n round kiss on other wimmins? He got his own woman.
 Sheesh!!!

I were gonna go in to work this morn'n, but the damn alarm clock got dead batteries. So I just call in sick. No I ain't sick. Feel perty good matter fact. I'm think'n if the sun ever come out, I can get me in a couple hours of "do'n something". Get this rig ready to pull out. Texas bound. Catch me up some fish. Crank up some sounds an' lay on the beach. Vacation in south Texas. Yeah boy howdy, I'm ready....in my mind. I might just make it before the end of the month. What's that.....6 days???

Do ya ever talk to yourself? I ain't talk'n bout in your mind, I'm talk'n out loud to yourself....and then answer yourself. I do that ya know. Have some perty good conversations too. Damn Sadie Mae won't talk to me. All she do is sit there staring at me like "HUH, you talk'n to me"? Now I don't know if talk'n to yourself is normal or not, but it sure do help in mak'n important decisions....hav'n someone else to talk to ya know.

Ok, enough of this nonsense. Got things to do.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving y'all.

YEE HAA!!!! Old Billy Bob is got all his junk load up an ready to roll. I look out there all all the stuff I gonna leave behind an' only one thing breaks my heart...."da porch". That old porch has been a part of me for the last 6 years. Many BS sessions out there on that porch. Many hours of sit'n there in my old easy chair sip'n a cup an' do'n some mighty fine think'n. When ya build something with your own two hands, it becomes like a extra arm grow'n right out the middle your chest. Well, not really an arm. That would look silly as hell walk'n round with three arms. But ya know what I'm talk'n bout.

My couch.....is back

Well it's almost back. pholstery guy just call and it's on the way.....Yeee Ha!!! Damn, wisht I could remember what material I ordered. Probly gonna look like a sore thumb, but what the hell, I need my "nap couch" back.

Well, here it are. Could'a swore I ordered orange.

Member what is used to look like....

What does a retired RV'n feller eat on Thanksgiving? It ain't like I can eat a whole damn turkey or nuttin like that ya know. Well, let me tell ya what this old retired RV'n guy think bout holiday eats. He don't. It's just another day....you know balony samitch, a boiled egg an' some Doritos....or something like that. Also, when ya hit that 70 year old mark, food ain't inportant no more. Everything taste the same, so it don't matter if it's a scrumptious perfectly prepared 10 course dinner or just an old chunk of lunch meat and a couple slabs of bread.  Anything to fill an empty hole.....an' make a poopie pie.

Ok, got that couch all back together....had to put the hardware on the front bottom piece so's I can put all my can goods under there. The real test will come soon as I eat me up a samitch....nap time.

Late??? Who me?

Dang nab it an' all that stuff. So here we are. Another wasted day in the Billy Bob household.  I just ain't got no "git up an' go". Been drink up a gallon coffee try'n to get all jumpy, nerves on end....super charge....if'n ya know what I mean. Well, that ain't work'n neither. All I wanna do is sit on my butt look'n at stuff what needs to be done, scratch my head and say "tomorrow".  Ya ever have one them days??? Think I need more coffee to get me back on the right track?

How long does it take to upholster a freak'n couch? I need that thing really bad. Been tak'n naps on the bed and sleep for 3 hour at a time. That ain't a nap. That a full night sleep.....when ya add up how many naps I been tak'n. I think I done catch me some that 'sleep'n sickness' stuff, or something like that, what goes around every winter. How do ya tell a doctor you're sleepy? 

Ain't really got much more stuff to put back in "da house". Then what I gonna do with all the stuff I gonna leave behind? I hate to just let it lay in the yard. Neighbor Mark will take most the good stuff, but I'm talk'n bout lumber, pieces of pipe, concrete blocks, old batteries, jugs of used oil......good redneck stuff.

At any rate, I still have 8 days to get out of town before hav'n to pay for another months rent ( $125 ) on the homestead. I don't like rush'n into things that can be done tomorrow....as everyone knows, but end of month is get'n too close for comfort. "Damn Billy Bob, what ya been do'n all this time"???

Shrimps an' shrimp'n....

Oh boy, what I gonna write about today? Words are get'n purty scarce round ol' Billy Bob's Place. In the last two years, I done bout said it all.

Holy crap, I done did it now. Yesterday was an absolutely beautiful day an' all I done was lay round "do'n nuttin", think'n I would jump out of bed tomorrow morn'n (today) brite an' early, grab me a cup, punch the clock and enter the salt mines. Ha, well guess what? There ain't no freak'n sunshine, it's cold outside (51 degs) and it's rain'n.

Had me a excit'n dream last night...I were fish'n. What I done was to wade out to the second bar on the beach down Port Aransas way wear'n me a pair of chest waders. Them the ones that if'n ya tip over, they gonna fill up with water....ya gonna sink to the bottom an' drown for sure. I were catch'n one fish right after the other. Big 'uns too. That when here come a great big wave, bout the size a tsunami what flop me round every way but loose. Next thing I knowed I were lay'n on the beach with some bikini clad young lady giv'n me French resuscitation with her tongue. It worked....believe it or not.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time??? I were a shrimp boat captain ya know. Own my own 40 foots boat an' all that stuff. Look kind of like this one.

 Like Forrest Gump say...."that's my boat". Well we had just brung in the net full of shrimps, fish, crabs and a conglomeration of tin cans, beer bottles an' a bunch other useless junk. "Let's go swim'n" I says. So I climbs up there on top the cabin an' make me a leap head first into unknown water. "Billy Bob, you are bay shrimp'n....the water is only 5 feets deep". I hit the bottom like a rock. Sinked my head right in that mud....thank God it were mud and not Sanfords junk yard. I come up out there spit'n mud....say'n all kind of cuss'n words. Almost break my fool neck. But that weren't the last time I do something stoopit. How I'm still alive to this day is astounding.

By the way, most every shrimp'n day we would bring in right at a hunnert pound of succulent shrimps along with a tub of live crabs an' some eat'n fish. But let me tell ya right now, shrimp'n ain't easy. Ya got to get up way before the sun does, hit the gas station for 55 gallon of fuel an' a hunnert pound of ice, transfer the fuel into the boat, stow the ice an' be underway at first crack of dawn. Then ya drag this big ol' net around all day long, bring it in, put it out, separate your catch, ice it down....pheeeewww....that work. And then ya finally make it back to dock, ya gotta sell all that stuff, clean the nets, wash down the boat....all before ya go home. What ya don't sell off the boat, ya gotta peddle to the restaurants round town at discount rates. In bed by 10pm if'n you're lucky.

I told this story one time before, but here it is one more time. What do ya eat on a shrimp boat? Well shrimps, what else? I got so sick of shrimp that I never wanted to see one again. I opens my lunch sack an' there they were....staring back at me....shrimps. Boiled shrimp. Fried shrimp. Shrimps prepared in every conceivable way. Yes, even shrimp hamburgers. I open that lunch sack one day an' HOLY COWS, it were a hamburger from the hamburger joint. My God, I done went to heaven.  

Different strokes.....

Boy howdy, this get'n up cold every morn'n is get'n old. Not that I would expect anything different since this is winter for this area ya know. Think maybe it time to break out the Mr. Buddy heater? I do use electric heaters at night...one set on off and the other in high gear. Am I cheap or just economically challenged?

Done haul off another hunnert pound of stuff to the dumpster. Start'n on another load. Pick up all my tools an' stuff lay'n in the yard. Oh hell no, I ain't no wheres close to get'n done. Got most the stuff cleared off "da porch" just in case someone comes by with a fist full of dollars and a big trailer.

Gonna brew me up a batch of beef stew soup today. Been a while since I made a batch. That stuff I made the other day (hamburger, taters and noodles soup)  is bout all gone and now I'm hungry for stew soup. Don't do 3 course meals no more....make what ever in a big ol' pot an' eat on it for 3 or 4 days. Gumbo or chili will be next I rekon.

Talk to a old buddy down in south Texas this morn'n. He lives down there in the island ya know. He says the weather is beautiful. Well, I been think'n bout that beautiful weather too sit'n here with a blanket wrap round me every morn'n. The old Billy Bob is gonna be in hog heaven when he get down there....lay'n out there on da beach in a speedo, sip'n a cup and catch'n me up some fish. Don't know where exactly I gonna end up for the winter, but it don't really make no matter....long's it don't snow.

Rough days ahead

Boy howdy old Billy Bob is got some think'n to do. The other day when I said I'm "skeered", I was serious as a second hand on a clock. Don't know what I'm gonna do.

Ya see, it's like this.....onest ya get settled in one place as long as I been homestead'n in Deming, it ain't easy to just pack up and head off into rough seas in a little blow up "bubba boat", look'n for an island paradise. It takes a toll on the mind, what sometimes I wonder how much mind I got left. Now don't get me wrong, I know from past experience that everything gonna be all right. It just gonna take some time to get used to being homeless again. Sleep'n under bridges an' stuff like that.

I had planned to get "out of dodge" by the end of the month, but it look'n like it gonna take me longer than expected. Didn't know I had so much to do. Gonna have to go see my doc before I get out of here. Get my records and stuff like that. Still wait'n on my couch to come back to "da house". Try'n to sell "da porch". Got a ton of stuff I gotta haul off to the dumpster. Damn......

Well things ain't look'n good for old "pesky neighbor" Wayne. Latest news is he gonna be transferred to Las Cruces almost for certain. He can't walk again, even with his walker. He told me the other day he just wanted to go home and die there....not some old folks home. Will get another update sometime today. Hopefully it will be good news instead of all bad.

Had a visit from a couple ladies from my Yahoo RV Singles group. Been talk to them a long time on the group, but had never met them in person. Kind of the same as meet'n a blogger. By now they should be in Banderra, Texas where they gonna meet up with a couple more group'ers before they head off to Mt. Pleasant, Texas. Ain't life just wonderful?

Ok....head'n off to town....pick up meds and a few eatables. 

Oops, miss a step...

After sit'n round all day feel'n sorry for myself an' stuff like that, I decided to attempt to find something funny to write about. Weren't a single thing funny bout yesterday to claim as an adventure or excitement...that for sure. Ya see, it were a beautiful sunshiny day, so's I climbs up there on the roof to caulk up some solar panel mount holes. Took that 'lectric  wire what was hang'n off the roof from that spare solar panel an' I throws it. Hard I could, all the ways over there in my neighbors yard. That was cool. Don't ask why I do stuff like that, 'cause I don't even know. "Oh hell Billy Bob, git to da point". Well, I were com'n back down off'n the roof an' I flat miss that last step....what is bout 3 feets from the ground. Down I come....one leg up there on a ladder rung way up there an' the other flap'n in da breezeway down here.....I'm gonna die. Land right there, in a neat little pile. Long with my bucket of tools. What the hell....did I break some my important stuff? Nope....fit as a fiddle. So I thought. I was hurt'n to the back side...land on my tail (would say ass but I'm try'n to change my image). Drag my ass back to "da pouch", sit there sip'n a cold cup an' think'n...."ya dumb ass". Well anyhows, the rest of the day was spend "do'n nuttin".

Look'n like old "pesky" Wayne will be go'n back to a rehab facility in Las Cruces. Ya see, his oxygen level is still well below safe and this hospital in Deming don't have the equipment (or know how) to deal with it. As long as he on a machine, he's fine. Take him off and he suck'n air like a fish out of water. Doubt he will be com'n back home soon.