Lake Corpus Christi

I can't think of a better way to spend a day than to spend it with a friend. Yesterday was a great success. Although it was a bit on the warm side.

Me an' OFM Barney drives down to the Mexican food eat 'em up place. Holy cows, I ain't never see that much food on a plate in my life. Yum yum eat'em up some Mexican food!!!!

"Dang Billy Bob, you looks skeered in that picture".

After stuff'n all that food down, we jump in Barney's air condition truck an' head north for a few miles. We go'n to Lake Corpus Christi I betcha. Just to take a look see and spend some time together enjoy'n the latter days of our lives.

Barney did a purty good job of 'splain'n our little excursion on his blog, OFM Adventures, so I ain't gonna be say'n much here.

I think I could live in this place. Call it Fort Billy Bob.

While scrambl'n through trees an' bushes, we stumbl'd upon this Aztec sacrificial tower. You can see the blood stains remain to this day. "Wait a minute Billy Bob, that ain't no Axtec sacrificial tower, it's a overlook".  

 OFM Barney in all his glory. Got his African safari hat on look'n for wild critters.

Thought this was kind of cool.

Yup, yesterday was a good day.

I was sit'n there mind'n my own business....over there on the couch ya know. I got to think'n bout peaches. Well shoot, fire up the Weber an' grill ya one. I did that an' boy howdy let me tell ya, that was one delicious peach. I ain't never grill no peaches before, so I'm a rookie. Let's try bout 375 degrees, try not to catch nuttin on fire. Twenty minutes later with one turn, that peach come out perfect. Put me some brown sugar on top....eat 'em up. Yes I took a picture.....but it ain't there. Gone.....pooof, just like that. 

Modified shoes still work'n out pretty good. All that walk'n yesterday didn't bother me at all. I'm think'n I'm ready for a 1/4 miles walk....what ya think?

USS Flagship Hotel

Well shoot, what ya wanna talk bout today?

Speak'n of fireworks gone wrong, it was back in 1965 if'n I remember right. I lived in a little beach cottage in Galveston Texas one block off the sea wall. Along the sea wall was a bunch of piers extend'n out into the Gulf of Mexico. If'n ya ever been to Galveston, ya know what I'm talk'n bout. Tourist trap little shops sell'n trinkets, skimpy bikinis, sea shells....that kind of stuff. There was eat'n places where ya sit out over the water an' eat seafood. A big hotel. That hotel is the subject of today's discussion.

The name of that hotel was the Flagship Hotel. Brand spank'n new. Builded in 1965, 7 stories, 250 plus rooms...or something like that. If'n ya had a sack full of money to spend, this was the place to do it.

It was the 4th of July. This years fireworks display was scheduled to be set off from the pier of the Flagship Hotel at 9:30pm sharp. People lined the sea wall in anticipation....danc'n in the streets, drink'n beer an' stuff like that. Kids run'n round with little sparkle thingys scream'n at the top their lungs. I was perched on top my old '56 Ford across the street. Had me a perfect birds eye view of the festivities, close to the same angle as in the photo above.....safe from any form or sort of danger.

At 9:30 sharp, a burst of light goes off at the end of the pier. A hunnert (300 feet or so) into the air is a great explosion of little bitty stars fall'n back to earth in colors of red, white an' blue. The crowds break into shouts and screams of joy. For a full 5 minutes, the spectators are astonished with a display of ever kind of firework imaginable. But wait.....there's more.

The next round of fireworks was made ready. The crowds are tense. That's when the most amazing display you ever see takes place. There was shoot'n stars, huge explosions....white smoke filled the air.  The display had gone wrong. Done blowed slap up, right there on the pier. Workers could be seen jump'n into the waters below. Others were run'n in all direction for their dear lives. Me, I was climb'n down off'n that old Ford lickity split, tak'n cover while fireworks was explod'n all around me. That was the most amazing fireworks display I ever see in my whole life.

In other displays of explosions gone wrong around the world, Egypt erupts into violence....all in the name of freedom.

In case anybody is curious, this is how you modify shoes. Ya see, my right shoe wouldn't stretch far enough to be comfortable and not cause the old Billy Bob foot an' mouth disease (pain). So's I removed the little piece of leather that holds them together.

Now they stretch.

Modified shoes

Grumble....Grrrrrr.....it's dark out there......cain't see a thing!!!!

"What the hell Billy Bob, what you do'n up at 5:30 in the morn'n"?
Modify'n a pair of shoes.
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12:45pm...Shoe modification update:

Boy howdy, when the old Billy Bob modifies something, he do it right. Well, almost right. Don't help a golf game none, but I can walk....yeeehaw!!! Well, until I went to HEB for a few groceries. "Ya walk too much Billy Bob".

Ok, ya gotta 'scuse me for a few minutes. I'm starved....grill me up 4 hot dogs....yum yum eat 'em up.

And here come Michael Anthony Garcia....that would be my bestest grand nephew, call him "hot shot".

He helps me around "da house" swat'n  flies, put'n up groceries and eat'n up one my hot dogs. Sneeky little bugger. Grab it when Uncle Bill weren't look'n.

Well anyhows, the OFM Barney an' me meet up at the golf course just a bit after the sun come up this morn'n. It were cool outside, dew (liquid humidity) still on the ground.

"What the hell Barney, you hit that guy". Barney says....."he souldn't be stand'n in the woods".

By the nineth hole, poor old Barney was wored slap out. He was need'n some down time....in air conditioning. I won't be see'n the OFM for a while. He's out of south Texas in a few days. Alabammy bound. Ain't never gonna come back. I got a dollar....any takers?? There's a slim possibility the old Billy Bob will be headed that way too in a week or so. There's a big ol' rock out there in the yard. Ain't no writ'n on it, so it's not set in stone.

Ok....hot dogs mean naps. See ya laters..... 

Down an' out on da couch

Boy howdy, I must admit, yesterdays heat did a number on me. All this time I were think'n I was "Mister Macho" ain't skeered of nuttin kind a guy. Well it ain't that way no more.

After I got Sadie Mae back to "da house" from the "hair butcher" woman, I start feel'n kind of bad. Ended up lay'n on the couch instead of go'n outside an' hav'n a rip snort'n time at the birthday party (grand niece). The couch was my home for the rest of the day.

I was completely surprised that I didn't get those damn leg cramps last night. In fack, I sleeped till 9:30 this morn'n. WooooEeeee, that was a full 9 hour sleep without onest get'n up. That don't happen very often at Billy Bob's house.

Ya see, I got me one them sleep number mattress thingys. I can put in or take out air for a hard or a soft nights sleep. Yes, I like my sleep numbers. A few nights ago I was have me some terrible leg cramps....musta did something I weren't supposed to do. I let me out some air. I slept good for two nights in a row. I rekon this is my new number for a while.

'Member a while back I was all excitis bout mak'n a trip to Louisianna? Eat up some cajun food an' listen to cajun music. Well, I ain't plumb forgot bout that trip.....it's still fresh in my mind. It's just that I cain't keep myself excitis bout trips an' stuff no more. The old Billy Bob is chang'n. One day I'm jump'n up an' down like a little kid go'n on his first trip to Disney World....or something like that. The next day I says...."what the hell are you think'n"? It's get'n harder ever day for me to make decisions. Go'n on trips has done change into a freak'n chore.

Don't be get'n no ideas that I ain't enjoy'n life, 'cause I am. I may not be see'n all the "treasures" America has to offer, but I'm comfortable....physically. I got a Weber Q grill sit'n right outside my door bout 10 feet away. I got a air conditioned "that jeep" is sit'n out front "da house". Town ain't very far. I get free food onest in a while two or three time a week (don't have to slave over a hot stove). The golf course is only a couple mile away. Of course, I got free camp'n....plus electric. Only have that "damn goat" to contend with.

That took care of the physical comforts of home. But the mental comforts....no, I ain't got none to speak of. You know how the mind works, ya wanna go somewheres and have ya some fun. Like a trip to Louisianna....and beyond. It drains ya when ya cain't just up an' go 'cause of all the "physical" things what creeped into your life. Bad backs, old Arthur-i-tus, feet what don't work with shoes no more....stuff like that. Do ya know what it's like to not be able to wear shoes like everbody else? I rekon when they bury me, I'll be wear'n a pair of old wore out sandals. Sheesh!!! That sucks.

Ok.....I got things to do. "What ya gonna do Billy Bob"?  Probly go over there to the stove an' make me a pancake. Yup, think that what I'm gonna do.  

68 degs golf day

Oh my god, I'm run'n out of time. I got a dog to transport to the vet place for a groom'n an' then got a appointment at the local golf course for a round of golf ball swak'n.

I ain't got no time this morn'n to be writ'n no silly stories or nuttin like that. Golf is important....never be late.

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As requested by one my fav friends, here is a photo of poor little Sadie Mae. Ain't never gonna take her back to that old lady for a haircut.  

Not visible in the above photo can you see the screw ups this woman "hair butcher" do to my poor little puppy Sadie Mae. I'm so disgrunted, I ain't even gonna say nuttin more bout it. Grrrrrrrrrr....!!!! Ain't she purty though???

Now there's something you have to understand bout golf. Old men are unstable on their feet. The first rule to hitting a ball off the tee is ya gotta stand there like a well rooted tree. Steady and unmoving. Gather your bearings and aim for the middle of the fareway. "Whoa right there Billy Bob...that ain't nuttin like what you do". Ok, so I didn't have a good golf game today. In fact, it sucked.

Actually, me an' OFM Barney had a rough go of it today. It weren't all that hot, but the humidity was a killer. By hole 7, I was done....my goose was cooked. Barney tuffed it out and completed the 18 holes, but I swear, I thought he was gonna die. "Call 911 somebody, Barney is lay'n in a ditch".

There is a place in my bedroom where I hang my golf bag. That's where my clubs will hang until the weather changes. I'm through with golf ball swak'n when it almost kill me or send me to a hospital with a heat stroke.

Ok, that's it for today.....birthday party go'n on. 

Broke down in Texas

Dizzy Dick got to wondering bout fire ants yesterday. That got me to think'n bout the many times I had encounters with them dastardly critters. If'n ya ain't never stood in a fire ant mound, ya won't know what I'm talk'n bout.

It was back in the summer of '86......
I was driv'n along in my old 1974 VW bus,  just mind'n my own business ya know. I was com'n back home to Texas for the last time, speed-o-meter laid over on bout a hunnert mile a hour.  It was a old Texas county road, CR 549 or something like that....grass growed right up to the edge of the blacktop.
 
Spitter, sputter, bang, clank, all sorts of noises an' puffs of black smoke come out the back that old VW. The motor quit run'n right now....deader 'an a doornail. I pulls off to the side the road....grass an' weeds two feets tall. Out there in the middle of nowheres, Texas sun bear'n down on me, hotter 'an blue blazes. There ain't a cloud in the sky. Not another car in sight what can give the old Billy Bob a help'n hand. Ok, you got that picture in your head now?.....I'm stranded a hunnert mile from civilization, my damned old VW don't run, I'm all by myself....an' I'm gonna die out here in this blasted Texas heat. Are we all in focus now?

I walks round to the back that VW an' opens up the engine compartment. Well shoot, looks fine to me. A little hot maybe with all that smoke an' stuff in there. That when I see something leak'n up under the back....my gasoline is drip'n down on the ground. That's purty good evidence I got a gasoline leak. Bend'n down for a closer look, "I betcha a dollar I can fix that". All I gotta do is to crawl up under there with a hand full of tools an' some bail'n wire or a hose clamp......walla, gas leak fixed. But wait.....

What I failed to do when I take that closer look, was to notice them little dirt mounds what was up under there. I slides my skinny ass up under that VW bus unaware of what was to happen next. I was up under there for only for a few seconds. I'm on "fire". "No damn it, I didn't set the gasoline on fire". What ya think I am...crazy or something??? I was plumb covered with fire ant's an' they was eat'n away at my delicate fleshly parts. Hunnerts of 'em. Swarm'n up my pant legs, in my underdrawers, run'n up an' down my arms. They was everwheres. Eat'n me slap up. Holy Crap, I need some relief.

Off come my pants, shirt an' shoes. I'm beat'n them critters off'n me fast I can with a old baseball cap. Holy Crap.....yeee haw!!! I'm out there on that hot blacktop barefooted,  put'n dad gum blisters on the bottom my feet, danc'n round like a neekid fool. I done got the majority of them fire ants beat off me an' up drives a Texas State Trooper in a shiny black car..... "Whatcha do'n thar boy danc'n in the middle tha road all neekid like that"?

Now I got to 'splain to this ROTFLHAO (rolling on the floor laughing his ass off) State trooper why I'm all neekid an' stuff. He think this shit is funny. He take one look at my skinny legs, what is now all covered with little red welts an' stuff....he start laugh'n some more. I didn't see nuttin funny bout this whole ordeal. He says with a big ol' Texas grin...."them are fire ants boy, ain't ya got no better sense than to sit on a fire ant mound"? I just tell him it was a accident an' that I wouldn't do it no more.
 
By the time I got all them ants shook out my pants an' put 'em back on, that dad gum State Trooper is talk'n bout writ'n me a ticket for illegal park'n an' indecent exposure. I says..."WHAT??? A ticket"??? I'm way to hell out in nowhere broke down, them damn ants eat'n me alive an' he gonna write me a ticket? He just grins at me an' says...."Nahh, I was just kidd'n".

I still got a gas leak ya know. That VW bus ain't gonna run. I ain't climb'n back under that damn VW come hell or high water. The nice trooper helps me push that VW bus back into the road where there ain't no little dirt mounds, turn his flash'n lights on an' climbs right up under there with me to help fix that leak. VW bus fire right up, I wave to the nice Texas State trooper an' I'm headed south to Port Aransas. Scratch'n them damn fire ant bites all the way.

Ok, so I'm crazy. I like writ'n bout stuff what like to have kill me. Most people find my pain an' suffer'n more amusing than when I'm just cruis'n along do'n nuttin.

This incident occurred somewhere along the Bolivar peninsula on State Hwy 67 between Port Arthur and Galveston, Texas while enroute to Port Aransas, Texas from Huntington, West Virginia.   

Another day....again???

Have ya ever wake up in the morn'n and say....."Oh hell, another day"? That happen to me this morn'n. I rekon if'n ya ain't got nuttin go'n on in your life to be excitis bout, ya gonna feel that way. Bout the most excitis thing happen to me today, I waked up.

So that leaves the question of what to write about. Well shoot, there ain't nuttin. I'm sit'n here hav'n a hard time stay'n awake much less write something. Spent the whole dad gum morn'n do'n my normal internet stuff. Now the day is half gone an' I'm just now think'n bout the blog.

I got my big ol' bag of golf clubs sit'n here in the "da house". Right over there in view from where ever I'm sit'n of lay'n on my backside. I get all excitis when I look at them clubs. Last night I looks over there at them clubs, think'n "go outside an' swak some balls". Ya see, there ain't no neighbor houses or park'n lots across the road. I can hit balls off in that direction an' not break no winders or put dents in somebody's car. Theres a telephone pole over there where I gonna swak them balls. It's right along side the road...."don't hit the telephone pole Billy Bob". I tees up a ball bout two inches, rares back with my trusty driver an' I swaks that ball a hunnert mile a hour. OH SHIT....I hits the transformer, or possibly the fuse holder, on the telephone pole. The lights in "da house" go out.....only for a second an' come back on. Scare hell out me. "Da lights go out"??? Well yeah, it's dark outside. That was the end of my golf ball swak'n for the day night.

What ya think bout this weather....HUH??? This is what I'm talk'n bout. Not too sure, but I don't think it hit 90 degs yesterday. Today is almost the same. Temp is hovern'n round bout 92 degs.

Today is the day I can take Sadie Mae back to the vet to get her stitches took out. Or if'n I want to, I can wait till tomorrow. She look like she's healed up real good. No infection or anything like that. Hair has started to grow back out. Sadie Mae is good to go.

Ok.....got things to do....laters.