Now what do I do?

Who says Black Friday ain't everywhere? I went to the golf course yesterday an' what did I find? Long lines an' no shop'n (golf) carts. My god, there was a thousand people armed with bags of golf'n stiks swak'n golf balls into the trees, out of bounds an' into every water hazard on the course. It was old folks, some of 'em bout my age, all want'n to play a round at the same time. I didn't even get out the car. Well I did, but not for long. Did some ugly putt'n an' some ugly chip'n an' said "to hell with it". 


Back at "da house" I break out a Subway sammich I just bought. Boy howdy was I hungry.....an' then "boy howdy was I sleepy" or what? I cain't even eat a marshmeller without get'n sleepy. So's I take me a nap. I do that quite often ya know.

Then I got to think'n....."Billy Bob, you is lazy". Well, it ain't really that I'm lazy, I just don't want to do nuttin. It has all to do with "location". I'm in the wrong location...."el Rancho Abraham". Ya see, when I camp in Sinton, Texas, I'm a long ways from salt water, fresh water, Walmart, an' all the other places I like to go. I don't need to be in Sinton. So, the adventures of Billy Bob is at a standstill. I'm bout ready to hook up "that jeep" an' go down the road a piece. Let me think bout that for a bit an' I'll get back to ya.

 

My Friday is black

Boy howdy.....I sure gonna be glad when all this black friday thanksgiv'n holiday stuff is over. Not that I was chief cook an' dishwasher or nuttin like that. I don't do that kind of stuff no more. I'm a "sit back an' wait" kind of guy. Wait'n for somebody to to serve me up a big ol' plate full of goodies.

I had my smoked turkey. I had ham.....an' all that other stuff ya only get on Thanksgiv'n. Yup, I stuffed my face full an' had to take me a nap. When I waked up, it was dark outside. Ain't nobody sleep that long....two hours plus.

It's too dad gum nice outside to sit in "da house" all day. I'm think'n some golf ball swak'n would be a good way to spend the afternoon. *check'n wallet for loose change*. Dang, who been in my wallet? *breaks out my stash*. Ok, that's it, golf ball swak'n this afternoon. An' then hit up the local greasy Mexican food eatery. Yum yum boy howdy.

Ok.....I ain't got nuttin excit'n to write about today. I don't do excit'n stuff when I'm stuck in "da house" freez'n my buttocks off. It's been cold ya know. One night it got down to 30 degs. Brrrrrrr, that's way too cold for the old Billy Bob. But I ain't got no choice....it was cold everwheres.

Speak'n of sunshine an' warm weather.....my new charge controller is work'n like a charm.

Ok....things to do ya know. 

 

This turkey is froze

Whoa, is that a turkey bird I see?

Now let me tell ya bout wife #2 an' her "bake a turkey" fiasco. She don't like me, so she won't be read'n this...so I can say anything I want. It was Thanksgiving an' she ain't never bake no turkey before. She done run me slap out the kitchen, something bout she was gonna cook this "damn turkey" all by herself. It might be noted at this time, wife #2 needed a Betty Crocker cook book to boil water.

There was bang'n an' clang'n of pots an' pans, cuss'n, stuff break'n, more cuss'n, holler'n an' scream'n at the kids an' more cuss'n. The kitchen was no place to be. The aroma of flavorful food flowed throughout the house.....damn, I get'n hungry....eat me up some turkey an' stuff. 

The table is set, all this scrumptious food wait'n to be eat up....the turkey comes out the oven. Boy howdy, that one good look'n turkey I betcha. I takes a big ol' carv'n knife to make a cut.....oh wait, what's this? Stick'n out the hinney of that turkey is a little bag. You guessed it, a big ol' turkey neck, gizzard, heart an' liver....still froze solid like a brick. I make the first cut into the breast.....what the hell, it's still froze. I yank a leg off....it's still froze. "What the hell wife #2, did ya read the directions"??? Ya got to thaw a turkey before ya bake it. Everbody knows that. Wife #2 in tears, we head off to the nearest restaurant.

Anyhows, nephew Joseph is gonna smoke a turkey for Thanksgiv'n again this year. Hope to hell he thaws it first. Last year it come out perfect. Damn, I'm get'n hungry.

A lot of thought has gone into when I will go shop'n. For sure I don't want to go today, the day before Thanksgiv'n. There gonna be hunnerts of people buy'n up last minute stuff they forgot last week. Walmart would be the last place I would want to go. Then there's Friday. Black Friday. No, ain't gonna do that neither. If'n it weren't for run'n out of meds, I would wait till next week. May do that anyhows.

Was it cold last night? Well, you can bet yer bippy it was cold....34 degs. It's been a long time since I been caught up in one place that cold. There are other options.....like south. *Checks weather* My God, it's the same temps in Falcon Lake as it is here in Sinton.....give or take a couple degs. This should be the last of winter here, but then ya never know. Not long ago, 2009 or 2010, it snowed. I DON'T DO SNOW!!!

Fish, pinto beans an' fried taters

I hope ya didn't wager too much on whether the old Billy Bob would go shop'n or not. Ya see, it were so cold outside, even Sadie Mae refused to go out an' chase them damn cats. No....I stayed home in a nice warm house ("Sally da house"). The weather forecasts predict temps in the 70's an' 80's in a few days....shop'n can wait.

By the way, the sun is shinn'n, 55 degs....what a beautiful day.

So, what's on the agenda? Ha, that's a silly question....there ain't nuttin on the agenda. As long as it's cold outside, I ain't gonna do nuttin. I ain't gonna go nowheres. I'm just gonna sit here an' bitch bout how cold it is outside.

But.....Falcon Lake is just down the road a piece. I been sit'n here think'n bout all them big fish down there, just wait'n for the old Billy Bob to catch 'em up. The "bubba boat" is all legal again with a secondary back-up battery an' a new registration on it. I got me a brand new fish'n reel, two fish poles...an' a mouth full of assorted worms. What could go wrong? "Well Billy Bob, ya could sink ya know". No smok'n in the "bubba boat". Betcha somebody remember that fiasco. 

Ya see, I was out there in deep water fish'n....with a smoke hang'n out my lips. Fish on. I rares back on my fish pole, knock that smoke clean out my lips an' burn a hole in the "bubba boat". Pooof, just like that, my ass is get'n wet...I'm sink'n.
Inks Lake 2011.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time....me an' wife #1 jump in my little fish'n boat. We got a pound or two of dead shrimps, 1 fish pole....an' some string (twine). Off in the distance I see "bait fish" jump'n in the water...scrambl'n for their lives. "Thar's fish in them thar waters". I puts a little piece of shrimp on my hook an' toss it out. I ain't catch nuttin. Meanwhile, wife #1 is put'n a hook on that string. She put a shrimp head on there....an' toss it out. Sheesh, you cain't catch no fish with a string an' a shrimp head....BAM, wife #1 has a fish on. She catch up a whole bunch of "speck" an' I ain't catch'n nuttin. We trade fish poles....by demand. "Gimme that string". Now she catch'n up fish on my fish pole an' I ain't catch nuttin on that damn piece of string. Well, I'll take credit for all the big 'uns. We run slap out of shrimps bait, it's time to call it a day. Over 80 pounds of fresh spotted sea trout slung over my shoulder, we head for home an' two hours of clean'n big ol' fish. Texas City dike 1968....give or take a year. Yum yum....fresh fried fish, pinto beans an' fried taters. Ya cain't beat that with a stik.

 

Contaminated drinking water

I hope you didn't wager too much of your hard earned cash on whether the old Billy Bob would wash up them dishes or not.

At 9pm last night, I was sit'n there watch'n....now git this....Mexican movies. Don't even ask why 'cause I don't even know. I put a pan full of dishes to soak. By 10pm, I had put the last fork in the drawer....dishes is done. Pay up. I were quite proud of that. 

Bad news for Sinton, Texas residents. A letter was sent out of a health warning notice to all residents of Sinton, Texas by the Sinton "water people" that....get this, your drinking water may be contaminated. MAY? be contaminated? They don't know? What the hell??? I been think'n now for the last week or so that my coffee don't taste right....like 6 month old grinds, or something like that. But it's the freak'n water....what is typical for Sinton. "Don't drink the da water Billy Bob....it MAY be contaminated". Sheesh...now I got to tote water. 

Tell me!!!

Who said the old Billy Bob don't cook good look'n biscuits? Don't need to say no more bout that. Them things are perfect.....yeee haw!!! Sure do wished I had me some sausage gravy.....yum boy howdy.

I sure do hate to go out in this weather....42 degs an' sprinkle rain. But it's a have to situation. I'm out of meds. I'm out of bread an' milk. I'm out of donuts. I need some soup make'ns. And I need some water what ain't contaminated. Closest Walmart is in Calallen, bout 20 mile. Get everthing I need in one stop shop'n.

Ok, that's the plan. Get me some warm clothes on an' go shop'n. Damn I hate cold weather.

Blue shirts an' blind dates

Kee kee kee......I don't do dishes an' shit like that. Well I do, just not yesterday. Probly ain't gonna today neither. With four clean forks in the drawer, there ain't no real reason to wet my hands with dishwater. That's the way I look at it anyhows.

I got me a new shirt one time. It were a beautiful shirt to me 'cause I never get no new shirts. It was dur'n the hard times, bout 1954....somewheres around there. This shirt as I recall, was a beautiful dark blue, my fav color an' had some kind of flowers all over it. Hell, I don't know....it could have been watermelons or animal critters. That don't matter. What matters is that it was a brand new shirt an' I was gonna wear it to school. I stick out like a sore thumb in that bright blue shirt.

This guy, he start mak'n fun of my shirt. He call it a girlie shirt..call me a sissy, or something like that. Hell, I don't know....maybe he don't like blue. So's I jist up an' punch him. I did stuff like that was I was grow'n up dur'n the hard times. Damn!!!....he punch me right back. One solid blow on the end of my nose. Like a faucet turn on, I got blood run out my nose....all over my brand new beautiful blue shirt....with flowers, watermelons or critters all over it....hell, I don't know. Now I'm gonna get a whoop'n for sure when I get home. Me an' this guy runs to the restroom. We stop my bleed'n nose first off. Then we wash that shirt like two Chinese washerwimmins. Make it brand spank'n new look'n again. We was best friends after all was said an' done, but to this day, I don't remember his name. I learnt me a good lesson that day....."don't wear a bright blue shirt to a fist fight".

Anyhows, it's still cold outside. Upper 40's if'n ya got to know. To me, that's cold, an' I ain't go'n outside for nuttin. "Ya could do the dishes Billy Bob...do some housework". Well yeah I rekon I could. If'n I was want'n to....but that ain't likely to happen. But then.....just maybe.

I went on a blind date one time...referring to a comment MsB made followed up by another by Shadowmoss...."what you talk'n bout fire Shadow". Anyhows, I arrive to pick up my blind date right on time. An' then I wait 30 minutes for her to get ready. Sit'n in the same room with her parents, a bull dog steel worker daddy an' a "I got my eye on you" mama kind of make me all sweaty an' nervous. We goes to a nice eat'n place an' get a winder booth, order some eats an' start ask'n questions....that's what "blind date" strangers do ya know. She's kind of pretty, somewhat on the trim side, polite....sits up straight, stuff like that. But that laugh an' her voice....let me tell ya. She talk like Minnie Mouse an' laugh like a walrus. An' then she "snort" like a hog ready for butcher. I'm try'n to keep a straight face ever time she go in her snort routine, but lose it before our food gets there. She gets pissed off an' tell me she's gonna tell her daddy. Out the door she go.....never to be seen or heard from again. Damn she scare hell out me.    

We charg'n batteries

Yikes......it's cold out there. Well, I guess you could call it cold, I know I damn well do. The bad part is that it's gonna last a few more days, an a few more days locked up in "da house" is gonna drive me crazy. I mean, like what can you do in a little shack besides sit on yer ass, take naps an' watch TV?

Feel'n better is always a good thing. I'm not sick no more this morn'n. The old stomach is just sit'n here say'n..."feed me". That's probly where all the trouble started....eat'n "stuff". I ate some "stuff" the day before I got sick. I know from past experience, that "stuff" has and will make me sick. But I still eat "stuff".


No, I don't eat right....accord'n to what Mrs. Obama wants me to eat.....Grrrrr her. I ain't fat by any means, so what the hell, I eat what I want. I try to cook healthy meals, but by the time I eat 2 gallons of "one pot" whatever, I get burned out. "Where's that damn goat"? That's when I revert to eat'n more "stuff". An' that's when I usually get sick. 

Anyhows.....I got that new charge controller all hook up last night. It seems to be work'n just fine even thought there ain't no sunshine. See!!! An' you thought I didn't no nuttin bout solar.....ha.

There is still further testing to be done to the rest of the system, but that's outside. I ain't go'n outside today. 

Have ya ever got to where ya didn't want to go to bed? I sit here for the last three nights dread'n go'n to bed. Watch'n crap on TV I would never watch no matter what. Stay up till 3am. Ya see, when I lay there toss'n an' turn'n, try'n to go to sleep, my brain kicks in...high gear, an' all kind of weird stuff happens. My past, present an' future life unfolds before my wide open eyes. I see bugger mans over there in the corner. I hear sounds what ain't there. I forget where I'm at...."El Rancho Abraham RV Resort an' Damn Goat Farm". This ain't good. For god's sake, I need my beauty rest ya know.

Speak'n of beauty rest.....I took me a nap one time. An extended nap. When I wake up, it was get'n dark outside. So I get up an' fumble through the fridge for something to make for supper. I build me a great big ol' sammich from hell. Outside it's get'n brighter.....the sun is come'n up over the horizon. It's tomorrow....what the hell??? Ya ever done that???

Ok, I got dishes to do....maybe. Winders need washed on the inside. Maybe do some dust'n.....sweep the floor. You know, girlie stuff. God I hate housework.