Monday, December 13, 2010

More "Cotton Pick'n" jail

Ya see, it's like this....when ya go to jail for Mr. Meaners they don't lock ya up in a cell with some rough look'n dude. They send ya out to the farm so's they can make ya work for your room and board. When ya get there, theyt put ya in a big building in the minimum security area with bout 40 other criminals. Ya sleep in bunks just like what they used to do in the military. I think our military have condos now days.

Anyhows, I was in minimum security....on a top bunk with a great big ol' wrastler, or something like that, sleep'n under me. I step on him one night get'n up to go pee......boy howdy, don't wanna do that no more. In minimum security ya get to got to town and stuff like that.....to work shovel'n stuff, pick'n up trash and what ever. Well....we jump in a truck before sunrise and head out the gate for another exciting day in town. But it weren't town we was go'n to.....it were a cotton field and we was gonna pick cotton.

Old Billy Bob ain't never pick no cotton so this was gonna be a new experience. An adventure. They give me this big ol' long sack and says...."fill 'er up". My God, it's a half mile to the other end that row. By the time I got there to the other end I musta had me at least 3 pound of cotton in my sack. Well, the night before I didn't get much 'cause that big feller what sleep under me snore so loud. I was sleepy. I look around and I'm down there on the other end that row of cotton all by myself....nobody around. Well hell, I'll just lay down here for a few minutes....nobody gonna see me. Yep, they sure did see me. They take me right straight back to the jail place and lock me up in one them little cells with only one wide open window and a bunch of bars. Sheesh, I were only rest'n for a minute. Pick'n cotton ain't easy ya know.

I got me 10 days in solitary confinement...two meal a day and no smokes. It were cold in there with only one little skinny blanket and no heater to keep the place warm. The meals was 2 slices homemade bread and a can of ice cold fresh milk. But on the third day, for supper ya got what the rest of the convicts was eat'n. What ever it was they was feed'n me sure did taste good. Probably goat 'cause it smell like old dirty socks.

I weren't in solitary confinement but 2 night and I hears someone call my name through the open window. It were that big ol' feller what sleep under me what snore all night long. He brung me some smokes and matches what he throwed in the window.....what I couldn't reach. So's I take my bed sheet and tie it to my "blankie" an I rake all them smokes and matches right in my cell.

In the cell right next to me was this "crazy" guy on crutches. He scream all night long all kind obsintities. "let me outta here"....you know stuff like that. And he bang'n on the back wall and bars with them damn crutches. One night he says...."is that smoke I smell"....."toss me one"...."you bastard". Well that did it. I was already perturbed with his holler'n an' bang'n with them damn crutches for the last 2 nights, so's I start blown'n smoke in his direction. Boy howdy, ya should a hear him do some holler'n now. Anyhows, the day before I was to get out of there, this "crazy" had done busted a hole on the back block wall with them damn crutches and was walk'n around the fenced in compound in broad daylight like he own the place. I think he was sent back to Bakersfield for mental evaluation.

So there you have it, Billy Bob's cotton pick'n days.


  1. Hey BB, it sure sounds like you didn't get to pick very much cotton. But picking any entitles you to be called an old cotton picker!!

  2. Billy Bob tells us bout the wild wimmens?

  3. talking bout silver spoon days, 2 meals a day... I wish

  4. Gee, Billy Bob, why were you on crutches? lol!


  5. Billy Bob are you in the big house now?

    Billy Bob Jr.