1 in jail, 4 chomp'n grass

Well, the damn goat is back in jail. Seems he couldn't stay away from the crime scene and got caught again. He has 5 acres to run free on and what does he do, goes off to the neighbors and eats the chicken feed. I just don't understand the think'n of a goat.

I brewed me up a pot of chili yesterday. Now why does it taste terrible? It's hard to screw up a pot of chili, but the old Billy Bob did a number on this one. Only two things can go wrong. The choice of meat and the water. I were shop'n at HEB the other day. Bought me some course ground chili meat. That makes the best chili ya know. In this case, it didn't. As it was cook'n, I notice that meat was turn'n ugly an' the pot was fill'n up with grease (2/3 cup of grease removed for 2# of ground beef). Then I got to think'n....pink slime. Could HEB still be using pink slime in their ground beef? Won't be buy'n no more meat at HEB that for sure.

Then there's the water. For the last few days, my fresh water has this awful taste to it. I don't see any way it can be contaminated, but when it mess up a pot of coffee, something ain't right. So here what I gonna do. Drain that stuff out on the ground an' go get me some more....only for the sake of a "good" cup of coffee ya know. Now what to do with the "terrible"chili? Do burros eat chili???

Speak'n of burros, these critters are John Deere lawn mow'n machines. They been at "El Rancho Abraham" for a little over 6 months and have cleared 4 acres of land. Burros are really cool animals, but that one lay'n down.....he mean as all git out. Kick'n an' bite'n the others. Run around the yard like a Comanche on the war path. In that cage is that damn goat. No parole for that feller.

Ok, if'n I'm gonna get them seat covers installed today, I got to get with it. Times a wast'n.  

It ain't funny....no more

Boy howdy does it feel good to feel good or what. That ol' flu bug or what ever it was is completely gone this morn'n. Still a bit on the weak side an' I got this funny taste in my mouth....you know, like dinosaur poop.....or something like that. I 'member one time I woke up with a dinosaur lay'n in bed with me. Damn....what was I think'n?

I noticed when I turned 70 year old, my life changed. I was officially "old", so I figgered I was gonna do what old people are supposed to do.....nuttin. I 'member when I were a young man I would see some old guy sit'n on the porch do'n nuttin, an' I would say...."damn!!!....hope I never get that way". Well, ya do get that way.....like it of not. Your attitude changes, your body deteriorates before your eyes, ya sag in places what used to be muscles, your git up an' go has got up an' gone. You're an old man.

I rekon one the worst things bout get'n old is when you lose your ability to look on things with humor. Humor has always been a important aspect of my life. Now it seems I am los'n that ability also. The little things that I found to be funny are now just an event....nuttin to get excited bout. But I'm gonna keep chug'n along in hopes I'll find that lost humor again. Stay tuned, the old Billy Bob ain't done yet.

All that stuff I was gonna do yesterday is sit'n there wait'n in the same place it were yesterday. I didn't do squat yesterday. Not that I had much to do. Laundry is still in the basket wait'n to be put up. Water is wait'n to be pumped into the fresh water tank and one seat cover is lay'n on the floor. What the hell did I buy seat covers for???

I can hardly wait the cold front next week. Gonna freeze my ass off I betcha. One night has been forecasted to get down to 36 degs. YIKES, that's cold. "Break out the Mr Buddy heater Billy Bob". Oh nevermind, they done changed the forecast. Weather forecasts suck when they keep chang'n them. But still....I'm break'n out the Mr Buddy heater.

Ok....got things to do.....laters

YES!!! to wonder drugs

Vitamin C the wonder drug. That's what I called it yesterday. I call it the same today.

In small doses, vitamin C has very little affect in stop'n the dreaded cold an' virus. Eat a orange....forget it. It takes mega-dose....saturate your body with rose hips, or whatever. If you Google vitamin C, you'll find it has no ill affects like you're gonna die or something like that. Although, you will find a few sites have a warning against overdose. It's bout a 50/50 deal, but I'm liv'n proof that mega-dose works.

Yesterday morn'n bout this time, I was in misery...weak, raw throat, burn'n lungs, cough'n....stuff like that. This morn'n, after mega-dos'n  10 (ten) 1000mg of vit C throughout yesterday, I feel rather chipper an' on a even keel. I was worried that maybe I had waited too long, but it appears I'm already on the heal. 50/50 chance I'm gonna make it.

Went off to the clothes wash'n place with bout a hunnert pound of dirty clothes. That's what it felt like anyhows. Washers, $1.75 a load. Dryers, $1.50 a load. I got me enough clean Wranglers and underdrawers to last a month. Inside was 2 hefty wimmins talk'n on cell phones while sort'n an' fold'n clothes. Ok....why? Voices carry in a high ceiling buildings and I could a swore it was the Sesame Street studio. So I go outside an' sit in the car. The door opens an' out come a lady still talk'n on her cell....squeaky voice....like a chipmunk. My God lady, shut up, leave me alone.....go somewheres else.

Laundry done, picked up 14 gallon water, back at "da house", lay on the couch. I was wored slap out. Got me some new seat covers for "that jeep". Well hell, they don't fit worth a crap. Look like a sack....or something like that. I done modified one, so I can't take 'em back. "Why you buy seat covers Billy Bob...."that jeep" is junk"? Here in a minute, I gonna go try to put the other one on. Slick up the dashboard (Armorall) an' vacuum the floors. Look like a brand spank'n new Jeep when I get done. WHY???? 

Ok, on with my day....got things to do ya know.

Saturated with Vit 'C'

For many years I have bragged bout not having colds and virus' since 1990 something. I've lived in different environments since way back it the 70's from the Texas gulf coast, to industrial Atlanta, Ga. to freez'n cold of West Virginia.....then back to the Texas gulf coast. I was tuff back then....only had pneumonia one time. That's when I learn bout vitamin 'C', the wonder drug. First sign of a cold show up and swaller 6000 to 10000 mg. of 'C'. Followed by 3 days of no less than 3000 mg a day.

Last night I was lay'n there, coughing, an' I says...."Billy Bob, take some vitamin 'C'". Since I do most everthing "my way", I suffered all night long before break'n out the bottle early this morn'n. Now we'll see if'n I caught what ever it is in time. In 3 days I should be fit as a fiddle. Or I'll be lay'n back there in the bed whinn'n like a 10 year old foster child. I ain't even fully recovered from my stomach sick and now this.....damn!!!

Now......I been think'n bout head'n back west to Del Rio, away from this humidity and morn'n fog of the gulf coast. Well, it didn't take me long to do some other think'n. There's a "great blue norther" headed to Texas. Snow, sleet, rains, blow'n wind......it gonna be cold I mean to tell ya. Just south of here in La Feria, Texas is my old Canook buddy Louie. He has invited me to come visit him. You remember Louie, right? He's the guy what got me red tagged crossing the border from Juarez Mexico back into El Paso back in 2008. Back then you needed 2 pieces of identification to return to the US. I had just one. Once you get on the government shit list, you're there forever.

    But anyhows, it looks like the old Billy Bob is back to the draw'n board with decisions to make.

Picnic at the beach

Ain't look'n too bad outside this morn'n. Sun shin'n, a little breeze blown'n the trees....62 degs. A little chilly for the old Billy Bob to be out there yet, but when it warms up a bit, I may just go wash the car. Look'n at it through the winder,....forget that.

There's freak'n bugs fly'n round in my kitchen. Where the hell they come from??? "Wash the freak'n dishes Billy Bob". Maybe the better part of today will be consumed do'n housework....go do the laundry. I hate housework.

Yesterday I took a look at that big basket of clothes back there in the bedroom. Then I took a look outside. I'm go'n fish'n. To hell with them clothes. Me an' Sadie Mae jumps in "that jeep" headed for Aransas Pass and "my secret hole". What the hell? My secret hole is under water. The tide is very high this morn'n. Ain't gonna be no fish'n here.

Off to Port Aransas we go, just a few more mile down the road. The ferry boat is wait'n. I pick up my mail.....nothing important. Go to the bank an' draw out some pocket change, enough to last a couple months. Pick up some more smokes at the booze barn. Order me up a big ol' Subway sammich an' head for the jetties for a picnic. This is work'n out well.

It ain't very often that company shows up when the table is set for a nice meal. Most people don't have boats like this in their back yard.This ain't no fish'n boat ya know. They headed to Corpus Christi to pick up a load of grain or something like that. Ships are cool.

By the time I got back to "da house" in Sinton, there was this great big black cloud overhead. It's gonna rain like hell I betcha. Ha, not a drop. I remember a couple or three years back that everwhere the old Billy Bob traveled, it rained bucket fulls. Didn't matter where I went, it rained. Big black cloud followed hang'n over his head...one them "oh-man" or karma thingys......something like that. People was begg'n me to come to their house for a visit so's they could get some rain.

Feel pretty good this morn'n. I rekon my sick is bout played out. I consider myself pretty lucky when it comes to get'n sick. Only happens when I eat something I ain't supposed to. Which is quite often. That bag of roasted peanuts over there may be the cause of get'n sick this time. They hard as rocks an' don't taste right. But I ate a bunch of 'em anyhows.

Well shoot, I rekon I better get busy an' do something....as much as I hate housework. Somebody gotta do it ya know.




 

Sick to the bone

Here I was think'n I was all well again. But I ain't. Ya see, after a  wonderful round of golf with the OFM Barney, what I ain't gonna talk about, and a late dinner at the Greasy Churn, I'm still sick.

And I'm bored. I'm let'n all these little "need to be done" jobs pile up to the point I ain't never gonna get 'em done. Got to make a trip to town for fresh water again and there's a big ol' basket of dirty clothes what needs to be washed. That bout a half day of chores right there. It's no freak'n wonder I get bored all the time hav'n all this housework to do instead of go'n off on a adventure somewheres. Housework sucks ya know.

Yesterdays excursion up to the golf ball swak'n place proved productive for "that jeep". Was a wonderful ride. None this turn'n the steer wheel correcting what direction "that jeep" was gonna go....it went straight like a arrow. It still rides the same, like a WWII half track....or a big ol' farm tractor, but I feel much safer with the repairs.

Ok, I got things to do.....laters.

Updated....Swak that ball

Today should be a fun day. An appointment has been made at the local golf ball swak'n place for an excit'n round of golf with the renowned OFM Barney golf ball swak'n team. The object of the game is not to beat hell out of your opponent, but to hit that little ball a country mile. Straight down the middle the fairway. Not off in the woods somewheres where ya can't find it. Although, traips'n through the woods look'n for golf balls adds to the excitement.

Being that I have only 45 minutes to ready myself for todays round of golf, I'll cut this short and return later today with the results. Today may be the one day I finally beat Barney. I have a secret weapon ya know.

Laters......
*****************************************************************
Yup, here it are laters. I don't even want to talk bout no secret weapons. Don't wanna talk bout no golf'n game neither. I suck!!!!

Last night I was sick. After supper....a banana an' a bowl of cereal, my stomach began to boil. Yeah I know what I'm talk'n bout....my stomach was boil'n over, all the ways up to my teeth an' gums. I were sick. Then it start go'n the other way. Damn, I was up 5 or 6 times last night with the squirts. Sorry, but that's the best I can do to describe what was ail'n the old Billy Bob. By the time I crawled out of bed this morn'n, I were wore slap out, weak as a fresh hatched chicken puppy. But....I were feel'n soooo much better. I'm gonna live I betcha.