Port Aransas blackout

Have ya ever wake up an' it still dark outside......and ya don't know what day it is? Ya can't tell by look'n out a winder 'cause ya can't see nuttin. That what happen to me this morn'n. Scare hell out me.

Went off on a fish'n trip last night just for the hell of it and 'cause I was bored. Me an' Sadie Mae was sit'n out on the picnic table and she blurts out...."let's go for a ride". Or at least that's what I think she said. We jumps in "that jeep" and off we go to the beach....well not really the beach. We went to the jetties where they catch'n all them big ol' red fishes. Well, I knows for a fact that there are also big ol' trout in there, so's I break out my special Billy Bob altered dumpster dive trout fish pole. Ain't narry a one trout in there.....not one. See bout 4 leatherbacks (sea turtle) swim by on their way to Old San Juan Mexican restaurant...or somewheres like that. 

Then it got dark, really really dark. Load up and head to the Station Street fish'n pier. Ain't nuttin' in there neither 'cept'n for a buch of mullet and skip jacks. Have ya ever hear of a Tarpon? Well, a skip jack is a mini tarpon in disguise. Fight'n sum a gun.....go a hunnert mile a hour. That was fun for a while and then I got to think'n....cherry hot fudge. Oh Yeah!!! Next stop Dairy Queen. Then off to the Robert's Point fish'n pier. Sadie Mae done eat up half my sundae while I was check'n out the pier. Ain't no fish here neither. Back to "da house".

Weren't back to "da house" more 'an 30 minutes and pooooof.....City blackout. I mean there weren't no lights no wheres....for hours. Lady next door was outside with her little flashlight think'n she gonna fix a blackout. I tells her the entire City of Port Aransas is off an' she says......"Oh? Well how comes you got lights"? Then I have to splain to her how comes I got lights and the City don't. Don't think she believe my story 'cause when I go inside, she still fiddl'n with her breakers on the power pole.

Well, let me see what kind of nonsense I can get into today......sure would like to buy me something.

I were sit'n here think'n.....how far is it to Best Buy in Corpus Christi. So I jumps in "that jeep" an' check it out.

It were only 541.22 miles.....Oh wait....$542.22. Happy Birthday Billy Bob.
We gonna be "rock'n round da clock" now an' print'n up all kind of weird stuff with no wires.

Smell'n like a goat

When I read Dizzy's post this morn'n, I got to think'n....how many post have old Billy Bob made? Well hell, I don't know, I ain't good at add'n stuff like that. And while I was at it, I went back to the beginn'n of my blog an' start read'n. And read'n an' read'n. Now that was the old Billy Bob I remember. He's crazy!!!

Got my dish's all done up yesterday. Well all 'cept that big ol' cake dish thingy what had the cherry chocolate cake in it. Oh....speak'n of dish thingy, I were sit'n outside last night an' I looks at the "bubba boat" lay'n there on the ground. Whet the hell, it all full of wrinkles.....just like old Billy Bob. Then I says.....how comes "bubba" is full of wrinkles? Well hell, it don't got no air in it. "Yes it does ya silly" Don't ya know nuttin' bout hot an' cold expand'n an' contract'n. Well yeah....but....... This morn'n with the sunshine, all them wrinkles is all gone.....poooof, just like that.

My God I got lots of stuff that I need to be do'n. And it ain't fun stuff. I got to clean house.....take out the stink'n trash, vacuum the floor.....the dreaded laundry basket. Damn, what one am I gonna tackle today? Well that's a simple decision, take out the stink'n trash.

Speak'n of stink'n, have ya ever go in a high dollar eat'em up and smell something what smell like a goat farm??? Ya sit down to eat and the waitress stands back 10 feets....people change tables....ya feel like everybody is look'n at ya??? Damn Billy Bob....you stink. Well, it weren't really my fault ya see. I were lay'n on the couch in a dream world and wakes up all cover with sweat when the main breaker trip (no a/c). I jumps up hungry an'er something what ain't ate in a week. Head off to the high dollar eat'em up place.

Boy howdy let me tell ya, them red fish is mak'n their run. Big 'uns. That's all I have to say bout that.

Feeble attempts...

For the last couple months I been hav'n a hard time add'n a llittle humor to my blog posts. It comes in spurts ya know, like a plugged up water faucet turn on full force and just drip drip drip. Well that bothers the old Billy Bob. I don't get them excruciating pains from laughter like I used to....bust yer gut slam'n headache kinda pains.

Now I been think'n, what has changed in my life that I would start get'n serious bout anything. I don't do that kind of stuff unless nuttin else works. I found out many years ago that talk'n serious stuff makes ya look like an idiot every time ya open your mouth.  I would rather look like an idiot mak'n people laugh rather than look'n like a idiot try'n to splain something I don't know nuttin about.  (insert humor here)

Me an' old "pesky neighbor" Wayne had us a talk'n yesterday. He were all ready to go home, but done change his mind. Gonna wait till Oct. 30. Says his legs are still too weak. Tole me he walk 490 feets with that old walker thingy, but I know all bout Wayne and his numbers. Told me one time he had 147 quails eat'n supper at his house. Then a week later the number increase to 175....and then to 123. You should see the way he keeps score on a golf game.

Speak'n of swak'n gold balls.......

This is a before and after.
As with everything old Billy Bob buys or acquires by horsetrad'n, deals or just flat out steals it, he ain't satisfied. Gotta change it. This is one the good things bout being retired. Ya got plenty time to modify stuff. That a hunnert dollar paint job ya look'n at there. I also painted Wayne's old ugly white one too.
See.......

Ok....why the hell are you post'n pics of golf carts??? Well it ain't really golf carts we talk'n bout here. We talk'n bout retired and nuttin to do. I live from one project to the next. If'n I ain't got a project of some sort, I'm just gonna lay down on the couch and do nuttin the rest of the day. No, house clean'n ain't no project. Those of ya what been follow'n me for the last few years know that old Billy Bob is always do'n something.....a project. Well, I'm all out, ain't got nuttin to do. With winter com'n on, I got to find me a project to keep my mind off'n freez'n to death. Damn I hate goose bumps.

Just read Gypsys comment and decided I need to repost that "jet powered bbq" build'n experience for the new followers.

********************************************************************************

Jet Powered BBQ Pit
by barnacle bill

     In south Texas everyone has a homemade BBQ pit of some sort, but old Barnacle Bill, he didn't have none. 
I seen some really snazzy look'n ones and now I got to decide what kind I was gonna build.
Barnacle Bill is a builder, ya know!!!....Make stuff.... 
After lots of thought as to design, I decided on building one those round ones....
You know, them really cool look'n ones. 
    I searched around and found this old 10 gallon propane tank like what ya use on a travel trailer. 
The size looked right and not much rust. I made a quick drawing of what I thought I wanted it to look like. 
A few measurements was made and a lid was sketched out on the side of the tank.
    Now Barnacle Bill ain't no dummy ya know!
This thing at one time contained propane, a "highly flammable liquid" what explodes on contact with sparks and flame..... and I'm going to open it up with a cutting torch. Got me a big ol' pipe wrench an' takes out that valve assembly thingy...then I takes me a big ol' whiff. 
Sure nuff, this thing used to contain the "highly flammable liquid" gas cook'n stove fuel called propane. Then I got a think'n...."how the hell ya gonna get that smell out there"? 
Now, what better way to remove the fumes than to fill it with water? 
What I did!!! Three times. Then to be on the safe side, I blows it out with a air hose...three times. Ain't no more that "highly flammable liquid propane" stuff in there.
    Then I take it back into the shop, laid it on the floor, but still being just a mite leery as to the 
past contents, "highly flammable liquid propane", I lights up a smoke and takes me a five minute break to survey the upcoming game plan.  
And think out all the possibilities as to what was about to happen.
Hell....it couldn't blow up. Could it?? I took all the "highly flammable liquid propane" stuff out.
    Being safety minded, I made sure that the fire extinguisher was handy and that there was an open unobstructed path to the door.
All looked well!!!
Precaution #2 was to be on the "extra" safe side. So I pulls out my trusty Bic lighter. Yeah!!!
I cautiously put the flame in front of the hole, keep'n back at arms reach...ya know.
Bet you thought all hell were gonna broke loose, didn't ya?Nuttin happen. 
Well it didn't.....until I turned the flame into the hole. Holy Crap!!!!
Ignition!!!
There was this God awful sound of a big ol' jet engine filling the room.
Beautiful blue flames com'n out from that hole where I took that valve out...shoot'n 10 feets.
My BBQ pit was on the move...LOOK OUT!!!
Shoot'n across the room under it's own power. Across the shop floor it went, taking out and bounc'n off everything in it's path.
    I was definitely just a little "shook up" by all this excitement...boy howdy let me tell ya, was I ever...thought I done wet my drawers.
My pride and dignity was terribly hurt from all the laughter and hee ha's from all the onlookers, which had kept their distance and made quick exits from the building.
As I surveyed for any damage to property or person, I felt this numbing and burning feeling to my right hand. MY GOD, am I on fire???

A couple weeks later my hand was completely healed and that "Jet Powered BBQ" was sizzling the finest steaks anywhere south of Dallas!!!
Happy Sailing !!!*********************************************************************************

One more week....

I were lay'n round get'n over "humid-titis" and got to think'n...."ya better stay another week". Ya see, it's like this, I didn't get everything done that I wanted to get done. Yesterday was a complete waste other than the cherry hot fudge sundae I ate up last night. Let me tell ya bout that sundae. I tell the girl I want a LARGE cherry hot fudge sundae. The girl was completely confused. "We don't have cherry hot fudge sundaes". I says HUH??? (the sign shows all the flavors, including the two I want, cherry and hot fudge). After I explain to combine the two ingredients she says...."Oh, I didn't think of that". Then she says, "what size would you like"? HUH? I just tole you....LARGE. Then she says...."ok, one large strawberry and chocolate sundae....right"? HUH? Finally after management intervention, I get my large cherry hot fudge sundae......damn. It were good too.

Went off to the fish'n pier an' chunk my pole in the water a few times. WHOA.....what was that? Something done bite my fish'n lure. Then he bite it again. Then he bite it slap off. When that happen I know what it was. A damn ribbonfish. And ya don't eat ribbonfish.

So I pack up my fish pole and head back to "da house". One light shine over here and the other one shine over there. Got to get that fixed.

Had two days of wind and humidity. Boy howdy let me tell ya.....salt everywhere. The "da house" is covered with a thin layer of salt. The "that jeep" is covered with a layer of salt. Can't see out the winders. Everything sticky. Sweat like a hog eat'n slop an' smell like a goat. Why the hell do people vacation on the beach?

Went to the hardware store yesterday and bought me up some stuff to put wheels on the "bubba boat". They probably gonna lay in the back of "that jeep" and rot.

Ok....got things to do......laters.

See there? Didn't I told ya?
What ya see there is a Billy Bob Engineering "bubba boat" redneck boat trailer. One trip to the water is all it gonna take. Load up all my stuff, pick up the other end and tow that sucker right down to the waters edge. Go out an' catch me up some fish. Yeah.....that what I'm talk'n bout.
So far the patch is holding on the air tube what I burn two holes with a smoke. "No smok'n in da boat Billy Bob".

What, no presents???

I waked up late again this morn'n to wind outside. What the hell???

After giv'n much thought and speculation, I decided I don't need no stink'n surround sound system. But I did find one I would give my left arm for. 

Now that's what I'm talk'n bout. Logitech don't make this model no more, but there are still a few available online.....@ $995. Holy cows!!! Then I look at another system by Logitech......

This one will blow yer socks off too....shake the winders, knock stuff off the walls.....crank up the volume.
Then last but not least is the Boze system............

Ok....that's all I have to say bout that.

Got to get in gear and head 'em up to nephews house, just up the road a piece. Stop by the parts store and pick up some parts (fan clutch and thermostat). Joe is gonna fix "that jeep" for his uncle Bill. Feed me too. He's such a good boy.

I'm out of here......back laters.

Happy Birfday Billy Bob

Boy howdy, today is the first day of be'n officially old (70). I ain't no old fart no more....I'm just old.

Well we went out and ate last night. Had me up a big ol' platter....one them cast iron thingys, full of sizzl'n fajitas. I sure were tempted to drink me up one them good look'n, refresh'n ice cold draft beers, but settled for coffee instead. With what little bit of intelligent thoughts I may have left, I didn't want to screw them up by get'n all snockered stumbl'n drunk. I make good decisions sometimes. Visited with nephew an' girlfriend all the ways up till my bed time. Didn't think they was ever gonna leave. Photos??? Well hell no....done forgot to take camera.

Was a bit warm this morn'n when I finally roll out of bed.....at 8:30am. "Sheesh Billy Bob, ya sleep too much". Didn't take me very long to get all rare'n to go and do something. Broke open them new a/c gauges and prime up that vacuum pump an' hook it up to "da house" dash air.

Here in just a little bit, I gonna charge that sucker up.
Then I check the fan clutch on "that jeep". Nephew says I need changed it. I says it look good to me. But what the hell, change it.  If'n ya remember, "that jeep is been get'n hot.

Ok....got 'er all charge up....mak'n cold air.....that what I'm talk'n bout.

What to do in Paradise

Boy howdy let me tell ya, things chance as time rolls on. I'm talk'n bout a little fish'n village with a population of bout 600 when I first come to the Island to live. Half the streets was paved with caliche or how ever the hell ya spell it. Weren't no street lights to find your way home from the bars. If'n ya wasn't fish'n or at home, ya was at a bar get'n smashed. Everybody was a fisherman. But that was back in late 60's when Port Aransas was wild to the bone.

Those days are gone now. Condos in what ever direction ya look. Great big ol' tourist trap souvenir shops on every corner.  Laws and ordinances you won't find in a big city like Houston. Cops everywhere.....hid'n in cracks an' crannys....like cockroaches, wait'n to pounce on any infraction of the law. But Port Aransas is still the destination choice of hunnerds of thousands of tourists each year. During spring break ya ain't got a chance to make a left turn. Ya gotta make 3 right turns.

Ok, that's enough bout Port Aransas. What ya gonna do today Billy Bob?  Probably ain't gonna be do'n nuttin exciting today, but today is yet young.


4pm.....and it stayed young. Old Billy Bob just din't do a thing today. Call my nephew and con him to come visit his bestest uncle in the whole wide world. When I tell him how poorly "that jeep" is runn'n an' I had to go over there and pick up my vacuum pump.....well you know the rest the story. He be here in a couple hours. He's a good boy.

We gonna go out to Old San Juan's Mexican restaurant for supper tonight. Eat 'em up me some sizzl'n fajitas I bet ya. May even drink me up a ice cold draft beer. Ain't had one in over a year. Probably gonna get snockered....flat ass drunker 'an a skunk....on one ice cold draft beer. That would be cool.

Then I got to wonder'n.....what the hell is wrong with my blog? I been mess'n with it for the last week try'n to make it look more better. But it seems all I have done is run my customers off. Part I gonna blame on Blogger 'cause yesterday morn'n after I were mess'n with it, it didn't show my post till way in the afternoon. Then some weren't able to post a comment. That seems to be the case today also. Gonna be mess'n with blogger one more time....but not today.

Put that patch in "bubba boat". Boy howdy you talk bout stick. It gonna take a big ol' hammer get that thing off. Took bout an hour or so to get the old patch and that sticky glue off before install'n the new one. That sucker leak now, it go'n in the dumpster.Then I put that new part on the dash air for "da house". Weren't nuttin to it. Evacuate an' recharge and old Billy Bob is gonna be a "cool dude".

Tomorrow is my birthday ya know, so I'm think'n I gonna go to town and buy me up them toys I were talk'n bout yesterday.