Golf ball swak'n

I'm gonna just sit here an' watch it rain. It's too damn cold to go outside an' sit on "da porch" (62 degs).

Oh damn, I almost forgot. OFM Barney gifted me with a modified 3 wood for swak'n golf balls 200 yards an' beyond. Well, I swaked a few balls out in the desert with it, an' some of 'em flyed straight like a arrow. But not quite as far like what Barney was talk'n bout. "Well shoot Billy Bob....modify it". So that what I did. Ya see, Barney has short fat arms an' he ain't much taller than a girl. So he cut 2 inches off'n the shaft. Now the old Billy Bob has got long skinny arms and is a little taller than what Barney is. So I add a inch back to the shaft and put one my special 200 yards oversize grips on it.

Off to the golf ball swak'n place me and Wayne goes. I pull out that twice modified 3 wood on hole #1, sets my ball up on a tee and let 'er fly. Swooosh.....bammm. Holy crap, my ball is way out there in the desert bout 50 yards east of the fareway. What the hell my ball do'n over there? That ain't wheres I were aim'n. Then on the 3rd hole, I breaks it out again for my tee shot. Swooosh....bammm. Holy crap.....there it go bout a mile or so....right down the middle the fareway. Hit'n Barney's old modified 3 wood off'n a tee is work'n out pretty good. But hit'n it off'n the ground, it don't work worth a poop. I know, 'cause I tried it the rest of the game. Go a hunnert yards an' stop dead in it's tracks. Back to the draw'n board.

My putt'n was spectacular yesterday. Well I thought it was anyhows. Had only one 3 putt hole the entire game. Chipp'n an' pitch'n was right up there with the pro's. Well I thought they was anyhows.  Ended up with a nice relax'n round of 91. Remind me to put Alka Seltzer in my golf bag. Needed it "bad".

Wayne swaked a couple balls. Did much better than what I was expect'n. They went straight down the fareway just like they supposed to do....an' that's what counts in a round of golf. He sure do miss play'n a round of golf ball swak'n with the old Billy Bob. He gonna try to play 9 holes next time we go. I know one thing for sure....if'n he fall down, I'm gonna leave him lay there. Ain't no way in hell I could ever pick him up off'n the ground.

Ok...that's enough talk bout golf ball swak'n for one day. Although I could tell ya some great stories bout me an' old "pesky neighbor" Wayne out there on the golf course mak'n fools of ourselves. What great memories.

Poly mesquite

The old Billy Bob ain't as lazy as ya might think. I been work'n on the "mesquite eagle" project while I been sit'n out there on "da porch" sip'n up a cup an' think'n.

Before........

I tried ever way on the world to retain the beautiful mesquite wood colors, but ever thing I tried, failed the tests. The resulting finish is a very dark (black) color with traces of the reds I wanted to stand out. I have many choices of mount'n the eagle. This is just one out of bout a hunnert.

Stay'n warm

Cain't think of much of anything to write about this morn'n, so's I gonna just sit here till I come up with something. "Holy crap Billy Bob, ya gonna sit there all day"?

September and October are bad months for me. I got vehicle registrations to take care of. Two different insurance companies to send my hard earned dollars to every 6 months. Then it's the time of the year I have to think about how I gonna stay warm for the winter. If'n ya know anything bout the US, ya know there ain't many places you can go to avoid freez'n temps and the dreaded "snow" season.

I remember one time, when my mind was only half work'n, I took off for Atlanta to spend Christmas with the kids and grandkids. Boy howdy was that ever a mistake. Parked "Sally da house" on a freak'n hill (sons driveway). Come Christmas day, it were cold. Water lines and water pump frozed slap up. Heater run'n full bore...never get above 55 degs inside. This was a year for snow. I were stuck on a hill in the snow. I tole the kids I ain't neeever come back to Atlanta in the winter. An' I ain't.

There's always Florida....right? Sunshine State or something like that. Well, if'n ya ain't never been to Florida, it don't take long to hate it. Ya wanna rent a RV space in Florida? Bring bout $600 a month an' some change. There ain't no sunshine nowheres worth that much. I been through part of Florida in the summer. Didn't like that neither. I pulls into a RV park an' says to the nice lady...."Ya got a spot for me for "one" night"? They sure did. Out back with the old dilapidated travel trailers, druggies, and trailer park queens. All for $38 a night. Heee Hee hee, my kind of people....not my kind of prices.

Spent 3 winters at the "slabs" out in southern Calif. Now this is a "wild an' wooly" kind of place to spend a winter. But it's free. Ain't nuttin there but 640 acres of desert sands, bushes and thousands of crazy people with only one thing on their mind....FREE an' "get neekit". There ain't no water, ain't no electricity and there ain't no place to dump your poop tank. Ya want any that stuff, ya go to town. Walmart is 25 mile away, so it ain't all that bad.

Last but not least is south Texas if'n ya wanna stay warm. If'n ya know anything bout Texas, ya know it's a rather large state. Ya don't just go "down the road a piece". Ya gotta drive for days to get somehweres. And you're still in Texas when ya get there. Last year I took the advice of OFM Barney and spend the winter in Falcon Heights, Texas. Boy howdy let me tell ya, it were warm. Winter only lasted bout a week or something like that. There's a State Park there for $90 a week or ya can stay at the Community Park for nuttin. I did both. The lake was fantastic for fisher guys and gals. Perfect for "bubba" boats and stuff like that. Catch ya up all the bass fishes ya ever wanted. Big 'uns too.

So, there's only 3 choices to stay warm in the winter. Anywheres else ya gonna freezer your ass off. 

Thank ya thank ya thank ya....

I sure do want to thank everbody what wished me a Happy Birthday yesterday. I were begin'n to think my ratings had dropped to a all time low and Billy Bob's Place was being boycotted. I suppose I learned something yesterday with all the well wish'n birthday comments. 

So what am I do'n with my blog what I didn't do a couple years ago? Is it just that I'm a couple years older, writ'n stuff that don't interest nobody but myself? Too much repair/fix/modify? Not enough silly stories, accidents and nonsense? "Damn Billy Bob, ya gotta git with the program....write something funny". 

For everbody what ain't lik'n the new Blogger format, bout all I can say is it's just like the old one. Does the same thing just like the old one. When I first changed over a couple months ago, I hated it too. Didn't take long to get used to it. Had to 'spearmint with it a bit before I forgot there was a old one I used to use. Don't ask me why they changed the format 'cause I ain't got a clue. All I know is that the new one works.....just like the old one.

Wayne fix me up a birthday dinner last night. Throwed half a chicken on my plate, some grilled taters and some the most god awful tast'n beans ya ever ate. I were expect'n baked beans, so's I take a great big ol' bite. What the hell???? They was black beans with corn in 'em, something what look like celery....maybe onions. Worstest beans I ever eat in my life. Not eat...taste. Throw them straight in the dumpster. Sadie Mae wouldn't even eat 'em. Good thing too, 'cause she farts in bed.

That reminds of a cat I onest owned. Well something like that. He sleeped on the pillow right next to mine. And he farted at night. I ain't talk'n no little sweet smell'n farts, but these things were god awful nasty "wake ya up from a dead sleep" farts. One time he were lay'n on the couch next to a lady visitor, get'n petted an' stuff like that, when he let loose one them things. The lady get all beet red and says...."I gotta go". Never see her again. Damn cat. 

Gonna run down the road a piece this morn'n....or afternoon. I done run slap out my little cigar thingys I suck on. Make a Walmart run while I'm out. Walmart got the bestest maters ya ever eat. Corn on the cob ain't too shabby neither. Then stop by the produce sell'n place....get me a watermelon an' a couple cantaloupes (spell checker did that).

Ok....got things to do....laters.

Year #2 of old....71 today

Another year in the life of Billy Bob has passed....hopefully with no end in sight. Do I feel older? You damn right I do. It ain't like these old bones are gonna heal and make me a young man again. Just something I got to deal with.

I was look'n back on "last year" and what I accomplished in that time. Well hell, it weren't nuttin but a bunch of work modify'n and fix'n stuff. But that's what I like to do. There ain't nuttin more excit'n than to take the original idea of a manufacturer and screw that idea all to pieces. I'm still work'n on the idea to make a remote controlled golf ball that will sink a putt at 50 feets. 

In the last year I have been feel'n better in some ways, but discover'n new ailments have also took control of my life. I didn't figger on this kind of stuff when I was a young whippersnapper....you know bout when I were a 60 year old....or something like that. There was a time I thought I was indestructible. But holy crap, what happen in the last few years? It catch up to me all at the same time. When I look around me and see what other old folks are go'n through, I rekon I ain't got it so bad. What they say....it could be worse?

I got all kind of electronic test'n equipment for test'n my blood pressure, oxygen level....pills for this an' that, rubs for aches and pains....you know what I'm talk'n bout. Didn't have none that stuff when I were indestructible. Didn't need none that neither. We used to sit on "da porch" talk'n bout what we gonna do, the stuff  what we did, and all the places we been. Now we sit out there talk'n "old folk" talk. Bout health issues an' stuff....."how ya feel today" an' "am I gonna die".

I got to think'n back on my first year of "officially" old. I don't rekon I did too bad. Put another 5 or 6,000 mile on "Sally da house" traisp'n all round the country. Spend some wonderful time camp'n all over Texas. Visit'n lakes I only read about in magazines. Catched me up a few fishes along the way. Swaked some golf balls. See country I ain't never see before. A trip to Georgia to see the kids and grandkids. And of course, do some fix'n and modifications to "Sally da house. Yes, I rekon I had me a pretty good year.

 

Vacation in Deming

Is this what you're talk'n bout....look like this?

And you want it to look like this? 

Press the 'Compose' button.....

Blogger changes almost as fast as a blogger. If'n ya keep up with blogs in a circle, you'll notice they change with time. While others may not change at all. Some bloggers write something every day, while others only write on occasion. But you already knew that....right? So exactly why do we blog in the first place?

In my case, I have a love of writing. Not the stuff you would order from Amazon on the best seller list, but the everyday trials, adventures an' misadventures, memories and just plain ol' nonsense I deal with in my life on a daily basis. The good times and the bad times. Happy times and sad times. I have no shame.

Last night I were lay'n there on the couch flip'n channels and come across a documentary on the Revolution of Mexico. You know, Pancho Villa and his band of revolutionaries in northern Mexico and Zapata in southern Mexico, both assassinated by the government. I had no idea the state of Mexico in 1900. It was a dictatorship. The people were slaves to the government. I would say it's not much better in 2012 with the people slaves to a corrupt government and drug cartels. Guns and ammunition were banned from the people to deter any further resistance of the people.

Ok, what's Billy Bob been do'n? Mostly he's been sit'n on his ass do'n nuttin. I can do that ya know since I'm on vacation in Deming.

Finished sand'n that "mesquite eagle" project. Boy howdy let me tell ya, that were a job. But, like I said before, I gonna have a problem with apply'n a finish on it. When I apply a coat of polyurethane to a sample area, it turns to a very dark color instead of enhancing the beautiful reds in the wood. I know 'somebody' can give me some suggestions....right?  Ok wood professionals, help the old Billy Bob out here.

I have no intention to leave Deming for another 3 or 4 weeks. A neighbor went to El Paso 2 days ago. I ask him how much water was in the Rio Grande river. He say ya can walk across it. That tells me there is no water in Lake Amistad in Del Rio or Falcon Lake in south Texas. Now how the hell is Billy Bob gonna catch fish if'n there ain't no water?

Ok....here come old "pesky neighbor" Wayne. See ya laters....

Look'n down the road a piece...

No, Bob from Athen, salt'n the yard was a waste of hard earned dollars and hours of back break'n work. Ya cain't beat weeds. Damn things even grow out of solid rock. And goat heads.....my God, poor Sadie Mae is always hop'n round on 3 feets.

What ever I did was a good decision. We talk'n batteries here this afternoon. Ya see, two day ago, I charge the batteries to full capacity. Change the charg'n wire from the solar charge controller to the batteries. Found no shorts or nuttin like that in the old wire. Batteries charged from the solar panels all day yesterday and this morn'n I had only used bout 6/10th's of a volt (12.64 volts this morn'n).  Go head....check my math.

It were so hotter an' hell yesterday I come in "da house". Break out my broom an' sweeps the entire floor. Then I breaks out my Swiffer mop thingy an' mop the entire floor. When it dry, I says...."damn, maybe I better wax it". What I did. Look like a brand spank'n new floor. Until I got up this morn'n. Little puppy dog feet prints everwheres, a few goat heads and some unwelcome sand.
Did I ever mention before, never install dark floors in a RV?

Went down to the floor'n sell'n place an' they got a piece of vinyl floor'n that would be perfect to cover most of the wood floor in the liv'n room and kitchen. Heavy duty stuff what should hold up to anything Sadie Mae and Mother Nature can throw at it. But....the install guy tole me it has to be glued down or it will curl on the edges. Damn!!! And I liked that stuff. There ain't no way to staple it under the slide out. I can glue it under there, but ain't no way to hold it down till the glue sets. Only one inches clearance.

Been read'n the news. Obama and Romney is really piss'n the old Billy Bob off. I want to hear what they gonna do for America, not throw'n big ol' rocks back an' forth at each other. Then we got all the upris'n in the middle east. Damn....there's crazy people all over the world.

Speak'n of crazy people. Remember I was tell'n ya bout the guy out here at the park what is stock'n up on supplies for "when it happens" (dooms day or some shit like that)? Well, the other day he went to the store and bought up $150 worth of pasta. Now that's a lot of pasta don't ya think?

I got all my plans made for the next 6 months or so. Meet up with the OFM somewheres in south Texas in a couple months or so. After a few stops along the way. By that time, Barney should be a competitive fisher man.....give the old Billy Bob a fish catch'n beat'n he'll never forget. "Ahh, Billy Bob, Barney all ready catch more fish than you do".