Friday, September 28, 2012

Golf ball swak'n

I'm gonna just sit here an' watch it rain. It's too damn cold to go outside an' sit on "da porch" (62 degs).

Oh damn, I almost forgot. OFM Barney gifted me with a modified 3 wood for swak'n golf balls 200 yards an' beyond. Well, I swaked a few balls out in the desert with it, an' some of 'em flyed straight like a arrow. But not quite as far like what Barney was talk'n bout. "Well shoot Billy Bob....modify it". So that what I did. Ya see, Barney has short fat arms an' he ain't much taller than a girl. So he cut 2 inches off'n the shaft. Now the old Billy Bob has got long skinny arms and is a little taller than what Barney is. So I add a inch back to the shaft and put one my special 200 yards oversize grips on it.

Off to the golf ball swak'n place me and Wayne goes. I pull out that twice modified 3 wood on hole #1, sets my ball up on a tee and let 'er fly. Swooosh.....bammm. Holy crap, my ball is way out there in the desert bout 50 yards east of the fareway. What the hell my ball do'n over there? That ain't wheres I were aim'n. Then on the 3rd hole, I breaks it out again for my tee shot. Swooosh....bammm. Holy crap.....there it go bout a mile or so....right down the middle the fareway. Hit'n Barney's old modified 3 wood off'n a tee is work'n out pretty good. But hit'n it off'n the ground, it don't work worth a poop. I know, 'cause I tried it the rest of the game. Go a hunnert yards an' stop dead in it's tracks. Back to the draw'n board.

My putt'n was spectacular yesterday. Well I thought it was anyhows. Had only one 3 putt hole the entire game. Chipp'n an' pitch'n was right up there with the pro's. Well I thought they was anyhows.  Ended up with a nice relax'n round of 91. Remind me to put Alka Seltzer in my golf bag. Needed it "bad".

Wayne swaked a couple balls. Did much better than what I was expect'n. They went straight down the fareway just like they supposed to do....an' that's what counts in a round of golf. He sure do miss play'n a round of golf ball swak'n with the old Billy Bob. He gonna try to play 9 holes next time we go. I know one thing for sure....if'n he fall down, I'm gonna leave him lay there. Ain't no way in hell I could ever pick him up off'n the ground.

Ok...that's enough talk bout golf ball swak'n for one day. Although I could tell ya some great stories bout me an' old "pesky neighbor" Wayne out there on the golf course mak'n fools of ourselves. What great memories.


  1. Very, very nice! I'm glad I found your blog!!

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  2. Glad you and Old Blue Eyes had a good time at the golf course. It is nice to hear that he is well enough to play golf after all he has been through.

    Enjoy your cool weather :)

    1. No MsB, Wayne ain't well enough to play. He can swak a ball a few yards but there ain't no way he's gonna play a full round. He sure do like driv'n that golf'n cart though. Drive like a maniac....or something like that. Run slap over my ball.

    2. "Run slap over my ball." Maybe Wayne is sending you a message. What do you think?

  3. Yeah that would get tiring after a while. Swak the ball, drag Wayne, swak the ball, drag wayne. Just kidding of course.


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