Stuck in Sinton

I were just sit'n here mind'n my own business, door wide open enjoy'n 70 degs outside tamp com'n in "da house". BaaaBaaaam like a shotgun, the freak'n wind blowed my door slap closed. Skeered the hell out me....thought I was shot. The temp start to fall. In less than a hour, it's 52 degs out there an' some of it is in "da house". Supposed to get down to bout 35 tonight. Long sleeve shirt....turn electric heaters on. What the hell???

I been think'n for some time bout what I gonna do when I can't take care of myself no more. I got me 7 kids I could go park in their front yard an' let them take care of me. But shoot, that ain't what I want to do. I 'member when I had to take care of my daddy an' it weren't no fun. Drive backards an' forth between Port Aransas an' San Antonio (235 mile one way) every weekend. One weekend I pulls in the yard, walks inside an' here sits dad with a long ass "work list" in his hand. I looks at the list.....holy crap, "ya hire people to do this kind of stuff". The kids got enough to deal with without hav'n to take care of a....."a what Billy Bob"? I really don't want somebody to take care of me, just somewheres where there's somebody close if'n I need help. Know what I mean Vern?   

Boy howdy, my blog posts sure has fall down on the job. I'm miss'n something somewheres. I cain't think of something interest'n to write about. I thought writ'n bout my past would be a good subject, but shoot, I didn't even get started an' there's no interest. I do this for you too ya know. "Pictures Billy Bob, everbody wants pictures....lot's of pictures".  I ain't got no new pictures.

Speak'n of work lists, mine ain't get'n no shorter. Even with the help of nephew Joseph, I still have a ton of work to do. The new Jeep added to the list. The house water pump is still broke....or what ever. I ain't even look at it yet. The alternator still don't charge. Them are the major jobs to fix before I can go catch me up a 14 pounds bass. Did I mention I still got to transfer bout a hunnert pounds of stuff from "that jeep" to the "billy jeep"? I'm freak'n stuck in Sinton, Texas.

That's it for the day. I need to cook something....anything. I'm starv'n slap to death. Hmmmmm, "Billy Bob chicken tater noodle vegetable soup".

Coming along nicely.....

Cain't believe I said that....old posts

Just for fun today......old silly stuff I said.

*Jist in case some you new folks don't have the slightest what I'm talk'n bout.....old Billy Bob ain't got no home....no place to live....lives on the street.....begg'n for food....worn out clothes....ain't got no money in his pockets....lost in a tangled world of misfits. Hehehehe....don't ya just love being retired?*

* Did I ever tell ya bout the time....I were sew'n golf cart covers so's we could play golf in the snow....or what ever. Needles was a break'n, of course I were cuss'n, the dogs headed for safer grounds...outside in the cold, and my blood pressure went so high, I had'a go see the doctor.
He says, "do you have any stress in your life"??? LOLOLOLOL....hahahaha.....stress???? Have ya ever see an old man try to sew with a sew machine? Ain't no pretty picture.*

* Ok, I didn't have food poisoning....Sheesh!!! What I had was a bad case of "funnel cake" squirts....or something like that.*

*Old Billy Bob woke up this morn'n think'n...."what ya gonna do today Mr Excitement"??? Two hours later and the only thing I came up with was.....how the hell ya gonna get that sticky burned marshmaller crap out that pan???*

* Got up again this morning, not know'n for sure what day it is....think'n it were Monday. But then I got to think'n, I didn't eat crawfish jambalaya yesterday, so's this has to be Sunday.*

*Well shoot....good thing I didn't decide to take off, all my clothes, git neekid and go swim'n.*

* "Poosh it Billy Bob"....what we did.....bout 30 mile a hour. Up the street bam'n and boom'n.....gasoline and flames shoot'n 3 feets in the air. Then it catched a fire. A BIG fire. People was gather'n and shout'n stuff.* ( we was mechanics ya know)

Ok, I'm done with that nonsense. I could be do'n something constructive.
Ya see, yesterday I was look'n for "the hand" post for Gypsy. By midnight I still ain't find it, but I sure did have a grand time read'n stuff I used to write. I laugh so hard that damn goat run off. Sadie Mae look at me like "what the hell"?

All that time yesterday read'n my old blog posts got me to think'n. I've already told most my life story, there ain't no sense in do'n it again. All ya gotta do is go back an' read. You will be glad ya did.

Freak'n Google piss me off.....update you sucker...grrrrrrrrr

Updated....Bad days for Billy Bob....before the good

And this is the way it was.......

I was borned legitimate. Although I heared through the grapevine, my mom called me a little bastard numerous times while she was giv'n birth. Little did she know what kind of life I would have.

Shortly after I come into this world, mom an' dad got in a big ol' "mouth" fight. Went to court an' all kind of stuff. Mom was a "loose' 18 year old girl an' in her looseness, lost custody of her first begotten son.....or something along them lines. Dad was a drunkard, so he passed me off to a foster care lady "Moms", when he entered WW II in 1942. I never seen mom for the next 14 years.  Oh wait, yes I did. One time she sneeked out to the farm when I was 6 year old an' spend a couple hours with me. Onest again she picked me up at Granpa's (pawned off once again by my loving dad) to go a city park for an afternoon. I was 10 years old. I didn't know her.

I don't remember much after my birth up to when I was 5 year old. I'm think'n that's pretty normal. I learned, through the grapevine, that I was a spoiled little brat at a very early age. Pitch fits, scream my lungs out, bang my head on the hardwood floors....stuff like that. I'm think'n I needed some attention. Probly needed a good ass whoop'n too. It might be noted that in the 40's, there was no such thing as "political correctness", parental child abuse, stuff like that. A good ass whoop'n was the norm.

The farm was located only a short distance from where my dad hung out in the bars, but in seven years he only visited me 2 times....for a couple hours as I remember. I didn't know him neither. I only knowed Moms an' Mr. Obreisa (just guess'n on the spell'n). The only memories I have of this man is when he tie the older boys to a post in the backyard an' beat hell out 'em with a leather strap.

The only memory I have before the age of 5 years old was "the hand". I posted bout that one time. I just got to go back an' find it for ya. I types "the hand" in the little search thingy at the top an' I'm now read'n some the funniest stuff I could ever read. If'n ya a couple free hours, you should do the same.

Ok, that's it for the day. I'm read'n ya know....old blogs. An' I still got to do some work on that "billy jeep".

Update:
Well I went out there to work on the "billy jeep". The freak'n battery was slap dead. Nephew Frank left the key on. Charged it up an' pulls up on a pair of rickity old ramps....pray'n to God they don't come crash'n down while I'm under there. Took some shit apart, an' guess what, the tow bar bracket ain't gonna fit.....no way come high water, unless I completely rebuild it. An I ain't gonna do that. "Bite the bullet Billy Bob, buy ya a brand spank'n new one".

I gets back on the internet, Amazon to be exact. They have the bracket on sale ($309 with free ship'n). But....the bracket photo they have posted is NOT a photo of the bracket I need, although the part number is correct. I'm think'n they just post any ol' tow bar bracket photo they want an' let the customer sort it out. But anyhows, I contacted them by chat to ask if the photo could be wrong. I was chat'n with some dude in India. Not Indiana....India. That guy don't 'no nuttin'. So I sent a email. No answer as yet.      

Yabba dabba doo....or what ever

Sometimes we say stuff we wish later we could take back....."should'a never say that Billy Bob". I'm talk'n bout politics and blogs. Two of the worstest things you can mention on a blog is religion an' good ol' "fist fight'n" politics. Especially at a time like this when the country is so equally divided. But anyhows, what I'm git at, we lose some of the bestest friends we could ever have or sit around a campfire with, simply 'cause of division (left an' right).

Now, where was we at? Oh yeah, there will be no "Billy Bob's Story" story today. Ya see, I got to think'n bout how much my life story I'm will'n to share. I got to do me some think'n bout that. My life ain't all been good an' I get all piss off think'n bout the not so good stuff.

I think I'll leave it at that for today.....OH, did I ever tell ya bout the time..........???
Had me a step mom one time. Seven years older than me....I was 13. She grabs holt to a belt, gonna whoop my ass 'cause I backtalk her or something like that. Violence ain't gonna work. I takes that belt out her hand, lay one across her ass....she never try that shit more. Of course, my dad beat the liv'n hell out me when he come home drunk at midnight. 

Yesterday I wanted sooo much to go out there an' take the "billy jeep" slap apart. Up under the front end si this big ol' piece of plastic what protects the radiator an' stuff when ya run over rocks an' boulders, tree stumps, live chickens....stuff like that. It got to be removed before I can install the tow bar baseplate. We slid the baseplate in them openings under the grill where it supposed to go.....it's gonna work. Maybe with no modification other than new bolt holes.

I ain't done no more bout the alternator not charg'n on "da house". It's been too damn cold out there to be mess'n with stuff like that. This is a time I wished one my electrician sons was here to help out their daddy. But then, they still ain't as smart as their daddy bout electric stuff. "I can fix anything". But it sure would be nice to spend some time with 'em. Maybe go play some golf or something like that. But then, they still cain't beat their daddy in a round of golf.

Oh shit, I got things to do.....the day has been wasted.

Stink'n Google....won't update....grrrrrrrr

Third try...different browser....

Go'n on a diet....I'm freak'n fat

A diet for a grow'n boy.

Ya see, it's like this....Billy Bob is get'n FAT. This extra fat is affecting my physical and mental health. I cain't button my britches no more by bout two inches. My belly is fill'n the area where my lungs live.....make it hard to 'breeve'. My feet hurt from carry'n around all this extra load. I suppose my gas mileage is gonna go down in "Sally da house" too. Sheesh, why did I eat that whole pack of donuts? Cookies an' shit like that? I love donuts an' shit like that. And all them freak'n super size beef hot dogs. I also love fat super size hot dogs with a big ol' glob of mayo, ketchup, mustard an' onions.

I 'member one time many years ago, I had a dumb ass doctor tell me I'm underweight. I need to go on a high calorie (did I spell that rite) diet an' gain some weight. Eat 5 times a day. Chocolate shakes with a bag of tater chips two times a day . High protein/calorie "mix in milk" stuff two times a day. One in the morn'n an' one at bed time. Well, you see what I'm get'n at, something like bout 4000-5000 calories a day. I did that for a whole month. Spend something like $300 or $400 on that crap. Go back to the doctor an' I gained one (1) freak'n measly pound. So much for the old Billy Bob gain'n weight.

After I start work'n the University of Texas (1986, I started eat'n great big ol' "fattie" breakfast tacos every morn'n. Two years later I settled in at a reasonable weight of bout 148 romp'n stomp'n pounds. Feeled good at that weight. Actually, I feeled GREAT at that weight. Held that weight for 24 years. Plus or minus a pound or two. Then all a sudden this year, my belly start get'n fat. What the hell??? I'm go'n on a freak'n diet.

My favorite time of day is the last hour (give or take) before I retire (that's go to bed an' toss an' turn for a hour or so). This is my "think'n time". It's quiet in the house, Sadie Mae is sound asleep, let's do some think'n. Last night was a exception to the rule of bout 15 to 30 minutes of think time. I spent a good two hours think'n bout that rambunctious troublesome little boy on the farm (think'n Tom an' Huck here). How I got there an' what I did for the next few years. I might just do a continuing blog post on that. Boy howdy, this gonna be fun. What ya think?

In the past, I have posted some the stuff I did as a youngster. Most either have forgot or have never seem what I posted. So we gonna do it again.....just for fun ya know.

 

Hard work'n day....yesterday

It's lay'n out there on the ground. Yesterday I got that tow bar bracket removed from "that jeep". Some measurements was made an' "Yeee  Haw, it gonna work on the "billy jeep". After some modification of course.

Removing the tow bracket was the easy job. Nuttin to it....just git under there an' remove some bolts.
After much investigation, take'n stuff apart an' Google, it was determined the alternator is good (14.45 output volts)....not broke. That leaves to Battery Control Center to be investigated. BCC's are mostly used only on motorhomes.....an' "my god", them things are expensive. There's bout a gazillion wires what go in that box, bout 20 fuses, a hand full of little relays an' circuit breakers, an' a bunch of electronic stuff on a circuit board. The circuit board is rather expensive too. Anyhows, that what I learn in bout 4 hours of pull'n my hair out.

Then I had to take me up some aspirin an' go lay down. I ain't designed to get in those kind of crumpled up positions no more. Joseph called in sick, so he weren't much help. Dad gum boy needs to get his priorities right....Uncle Bill first.

Checked the fish'n report for Falcon lake. It's not good folks. A few fish was caught, but nuttin over 10 pounds. Still way to cold down there for the old Billy Bob to be out on a lake fish'n in the "bubba boat". They also have a alligator gar problem down there. The lake is over run with 'em and the Fish an' Wildlife ain't gonna do nuttin bout it. Alligator gar eat bass ya know, an' Falcon lake is a renowned bass fish'n lake.

Last nights low was 34 degs. It's made it up to 38 this afternoon. I call that cold. I ain't gonna go outside for nuttin. Laters.....I feel a nap come'n on. 

No I ain't play'n no golf today

Ok, go figger.....freak'n weather forecasts are stupit.

I got up early this morn'n. Why? 'Cause I was bout to wet the bed, that's why. I was expect'n it to cold like a sum-a-gun this morn'n. Ha, it weren't. So let me tell ya what it's do'n out there. It's 58 degs, sun is shin'n like a big ball of fire, and very little wind is blow'n. That's a golf ball swak'n day if'n there ever was one.

There will be no golf ball swakn today. Not 'cause of the weather, but 'cause I feel like hell this morn'n. I was sit'n on the couch last night. I got light headed an' a smiggin on the dizzy side. Something weren't right....so I went to bed. I feel the same this morn'n. My back would never make it through 18 holes.

Here in a bit, I got to take "Sally" back to El Rancho Abraham. I ain't pay'n no $25 a night to sit here an' drool over that dad gum golf course over there. I got things to do ya know....house water pump an' the dad gum alternator what quit charg'n.

I been do'n some think'n bout that alternator. Ya see, when I was work'n on the house batteries a while back, I left the hood wide open. And it rained. Right on that big ol' fuse panel/circuit board thingy. Or I suppose it did. I worked on the circuit board before. Burned a wire slap up on that sucker.....an' fixed it. I don't really think a alternator would go out if'n it was just sit'n there do'n nuttin. I'm suspect'n the circuit board. (All control 12 volt voltage stuff goes through the circuit board. Alternator included. Now where I gonna get $500 for a new one? "Hey Joseph, can ya give me a hand....I've fallen an' can't get up"? "Check the fuses Billy Bob". Well duh, ya think I'm stupit or something?

Ok, I got to unhook the electric cord an' head on down the road a piece. See ya laters.