Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Christmas at Billy Bob's house

I got up early this morn'n to see what Santa left me while I was sleep'n. There weren't a damn thing. I looked everwhere....in the refrigerator, under the bed, in the cabinets....there weren't nuttin. I know he was here 'cause there's reindeer shit all over my solar panels an' somebody busted my TV antenna. I got a ceiling vent broke to pieces where that fat bastard tried to "come down the chimney" through a 14 inch opening. Santa....you flat suck.

Nephew Joseph has a 24 pounds turkey smok'n in the BBQ thingy. Put that sucker in there last night at midnight. After smell'n mesquite smoke all night long, I'm not sure I want to eat smoke turkey when dinner is ready. For back up, there is a big ol' ham in the oven. I like baked ham.....yum yum eat'em up. I'm think'n we gonna have some good eats for Christmas. Then I gonna take me a freak'n nap I betcha.

I been try'n to get myself in a Christmas mood for a week. Watch'n Christmas stories on TV, listen'n to Christmas music.....stuff like that ya know. Being alone like I am, just knocks hell out of Christmas. Feels like any other day when ya ain't got nobody to share the festivities with. I think Christmas should include fireworks.
Cain't wait for July 4th so's I can get me some firecrackers an' blow stuff up.....yeee haw!!! I can do that an' don't need nobody to share with.

"Pssssst Billy Bob, check the fish'n report at Falcon lake" Ok, hold on a minute. Falcon Lake Tackle.

Is that a fish or is that a fish? There weren't no new fish'n report, but I was think'n ya might be interested in last weeks catch of the day. Boy howdy, I get'n excitis.

Remember'n back to last year at Falcon lake, an' watch'n the weather forecasts this year, I'm think'n in bout two weeks I'll be headed south with the rest of the snowbirds. They'll never know I ain't one of 'em.

Taste test done on the smoked turkey. Yup, I can do that.....damn good even if'n I do say so myself.



  1. What did Santa leave for Sadie Mae?

  2. Is that fish what you use for bait? Wow, nice one.

  3. If you're wanting big fish, you might like it here in Costa Rica... we watched a boat unload fish (maui maui) over 3' long... dozens of them! Tasty too!

  4. Well Billy Bob, I am so pissed off at Santa I did not even bother to write him my annual letter...what the heck for? He always forgets about me anyhow (me with a tear rolling down my face) :-(

    To us Christmas is just another day. Glad to got to eat smoked turkey and ham. We had milanesas...of course I bought them already breaded. Not exactly what you would call a holiday dinner but it was pretty good :-)

    1. Meant to say "Glad you got to eat smoked turkey and ham."

      Need to read what I write before I hit the Publish button!

  5. At least you got the Turkey and ham Christmas dinner, sounds pretty awesome to me.