Monday, December 23, 2013

Go'n in circles

Oh crap, now look what I went an' done? My freeak'n feet are swoled up again. Ya see, I was feel'n these little needles things in my feet, numbness, itchy...stuff like that. I take my socks off....stand 'em up in a corner, an' take a look at my two puff up feet. That was yesterday....today is today, I ain't got no more swoled up feet. Figger that one out.

I didn't have nuttin to do last night, so I watch a full length 3 hour movie. Oliver Twist. Damn thing go on till 3am....an' it weren't nuttin like I was expect'n. Ain't never gonna watch that no more. I was expect'n to see a "grow up an' do something special" kind of movie. Damn kid never growed up an' never do nuttin special.

I need to make a trip to Port Aransas. Pick up my mail an' get me some pocket change from the bank. But I ain't go'n today. Or tomorrow. Dad gum holidays always fall on a day when I got stuff to do. Holidays be over in bout a week....right?

Cold front blowed in last night. Got down to 34 degs over here at "da house". Didn't bother me a bit....let 'er blow. From the looks of things, we only gonna have a couple days of these blizzard like conditions. "Poot Billy Bob, ain't no blizzards in south Texas".If I say there is, there is...git over it.

Yesterday I had to go back in my blogs an' look something up. That didn't take long with the search thingy. I spend close to 3 hours read'n some the stuff I wrote a couple or three years ago. I do this a couple times a year an' come back feel'n much better bout myself. Laughter is good medicine ya know. If'n I could still write like that, I wouldn't have a hard time find'n something to write about. Damn I hate lose'n my mind (memory).

Ok, we got to do something bout this house clean'n crap. I cain't do it by myself no more.....hint hint hoochi coochi wimmins. When I lived on the boat, a placed a ad for a first mate. Out of the woodwork came (crawled) all kinds of possible applicants....I mean to tell ya. Ain't got no teefs, a hunnert pound over weight, skinny like a fence post, kids tag'n along, boyfriends....all the kind of stuff first mates ain't suppose to be. One in particular, she turn out to be a illegal....an'...wait for this....a prostitute. Good look'n woman from Columbia....keeped her for a week. Keep the boat clean, cook for me, warsh my clothes, fix my coffee just right....treat me like I was a king or something. Then here come her mean ass little 12 year old "terror monster" kid to stay on the boat. If I ever want to throw a kid overboard, this was the one. Then her brother ain't got no place to stay. Who's next, her mother? Then one wonderful day, ICE come knock'n on my door. What the hell was her name? 

Some day I need to tell ya bout first mate Vickie Lynn.


  1. Bet you had some good applications! Should have taken a picture of all of them!

  2. Dam BB you got a million of em👯👯👯 Make me laugh🔩🔩

  3. "From the looks of things, we only gonna have a couple days of these blizzard like conditions. "Poot Billy Bob, ain't no blizzards in south Texas".If I say there is, there is...git over it."

    jajajajajaja....somehow you always manage to put a smile on my face when I need it the most...thank you :)

  4. Billy Bob, just keep on writing, anything will do, you always have a great/different/twisted/cool outlook on whatever subject you write about. Always get a giggle out of it. Max from Illinois.

  5. Tell us the rest of the story Billy Bob. Did you drop the dime on that good looking Columbia woman after all her relatives started moving in? You told her that you wanted a First Mate not a full crew did you not?
    Place another ad for another First Mate. The applicants should give you blogging material for weeks to come. There is also the chance that you will find someone to do the house cleaning crap.