Winter blues

I get them winter blues every year as soon as the temps drop below 55 degs, what in some parts of the country 55 degs. is a spring day. But one more degree under 55 degs, water gonna freeze. I ain't gonna go outside and  sit on "da porch" sip'n a cup when it get this cold. You gonna find old Billy Bob sit' inside where it warm. I ain't stupit ya know.

Deming has felt the first winter freezes for the last few days. It's been get'n into the upper 20's come bout daylight. And I still have 3 weeks till departure. Or something like that. Gonna take a week to ten days to get my couch back.....and then, I got a yard full of stuff to pick up what I throwed off the roof from the solar panel installation. Table saw, chain saw, 2x4's, sledge hammers....stuff like that. Still have some storage bins to go through......dumpster bout another hunnert pound of junk. Neighbor just wait'n for me to hit the "tool shed" (compartment). He know I gonna be toss'n stuff.

Oh Boy Howdy....let me tell ya......got that 500 watt sound system all hook up. YES!!!! That what I'm talk'n bout. Shake some winders. In order to shake the winders on my neighbors house I got to crank it up full bore. At half throttle it shake my winders just fine....vibrate stuff. Now I got to go out and buy me some them "rap" cd's......lol, that's funny, Billy Bob listen to rap....right!

Not sure...

Nope, don't know if I wanna do it. Make a blog post is what I'm talk'n bout. I look over there on the right at the blogs I follow an' some ain't made a post in a hunnert year. Then I looks at my followers list an' I ain't see some of them in a hunnert year too. What I'm say'n is I miss these people. They are an inspiration to my ability to write a bunch of nonsense.

So, no nonsense today. I'm gonna be serious as a rock. Write something that can't be construed as fiction.
*think'n....think'n....think'n....*
One hour later:
Well that didn't work, so I gonna dig up some more nonsense. Let me see....did I ever tell ya bout the time??? No, that ain't gonna work either....done tole that story a hunnert time.
Ya see, here what's happen'n, I'm runn'n slap out of stories. That what happen when ya live a bor'n life....sit'n on "da porch", sip'n a cup an' think'n....what I been do'n the last couple year. Maybe I better take a trip to town. Go to Walmart....something exciting always happen'n there....right!!!

Boy howdy, old Billy Bob is get'n pissed. All them flies ..... crawl up my nose an' stuff like that when I'm napp'n. Damn!!!

Ok....off to town. May or may not ever come back.

I'm back....ain't nuttin happen. Well ya there was. Went by the upholstery shop and look at the material for my couch. Damn....is that what I ordered?  Better take ma a before pic before I forget. 

See, I tole you it needed recovered. But where the hell the guy what gonna take the couch with him? Done past 1:30 an' that when he was supposed to be here with his helper an' a chain saw.

20 minutes later......all gone.

Now where the hell is old Billy Bob gonna take a nap??? I don't sleep on no stink'n floor ya know.

Blow up.....boat

I hadn't been work'n for The University of Texas very long, so not many of the other employees knew bout Billy Bob. Just a "straight" guy do'n his job. Quiet, restrained and ordinary. That's what they thought.

The supers office was on the second floor with a little balcony walkway outside. Once a week we had an employee meeting in that little office....bout 10 of us. We was the maintenance crew ya know. Fix stuff what ain't broke.

In the boat crew was another Billy Bob "wannabe"....do crazy stuff, dangerous. He's the guy what was cleaning the insides of a enclosed boat with acetone.....a very highly flammable concoction of aircraft fuel, 180 grain pure alcohol, and TNT. He smoked. Lit him up one with a Bic and ....KA-BOOOM...smoke an' flames...he were lay'n on da ground. Hair all burn up, clothes smolder'n an' that smoke still clinched between his swoled up lips.

Well anyhows, this questionable boat feller an' old Billy Bob gets our heads together an' plan for a little innocent prank on supervisor. A 6 man co/2 inflate life boat was toted up to the second floor office in one neat little package. Rigging was attached to the "inflate" lever and tied to the doorknob. I think you get'n the picture here.....open door, little 6 man life raft blow up into a full size 5 foots by 12 foots boat in less than 5 seconds. Well, that exactly what happen....just like that. The supervisor opened his office door, only to find....to his surprise, a rapidly inflating, room filling, big ass boat. He start back peddling....two stepp'n...turn white like a sheet....no where to go. He backs into the handrail....he starts over....oh my God, he gonna die when he hit that pavement below. Now had he went all the way over that handrail, what saved his life, I wouldn't be writ'n this story.....I would probably still be in jail for premeditated 1st degree murder. No more pranks were performed on second story buildings. Ground level from now on.

Ok, one more harmless prank. Supervisor and da plumber was work'n on a electric steam generator. Ain't neither one of them knowed squat bout 230 volt electric stuff, so this is gonna be a pack of fun. Ya see, old Billy Bob had some his M-80 firecrackers in his pocket what he pick up in Tennessee last year. They was hook'n up wires, wipe'n sweat from their brows.....they was intense an' in deep thought. So intense that they failed to see the Billy Bob sneak up an' slip a big ol' M-80 up under that high voltage steam generator. Then I just stands there, real innocent like, fresh lit up smoke in hand, just wait'n for one them to turn on that switch. What they did. I touches my smoke to the fuse and quietly walk off.....KA-BOOOOM. Back peddle, two stepp'n...fall'n over each other. YEE HAAA....old Billy Bob strikes again. Yes, the maintenance shop at The University of Texas was a dangerous place to work. Remember the "jet powered bbq pit"??? Yes....dangerous.

Billy Bob been deep in thought way too much lately. It were just yesterday I were sit'n there on the couch sip'n a cup and got to think'n..."what if ya spend the winter in south Texas"? Yeah I know, I just got back from a Texas trip. But I didn't catch up no fish for the freezer. I breaks out my Rand McNalley GPS travel device (atlas) an' start a plan for a exciting adventure to south Texas. Two weeks here, two weeks there...before ya know it, it's spring time again. No snow. No freez'n to death. Only warm sunshiny days for lay'n back an' enjoy'n life. As Barney would say..."hav'n toooo much fun". Again....not set in stone ya know.

I've decided this is a good the time to "get out of dodge"....Deming that is. I've had it. Don't like it here no more. Too windy. Too cold. Too hot. Nuttin to do....bored. "But, but, but....what bout all yer stuff Billy Bob"? What stuff...."da porch" an' some junk?? It's paid for and no big loss. Maybe put a for sale sign on the highway...."da porch for sale" and dumpster the rest. Again....not set in stone ya know.

Cold weather blues....

Wayne update.....
Last night Linda came by with an update on Wayne's condition. He is in intensive care....sedated to the hilt. Same as they did to him 6 months ago. Not a word on what happened to him. I have a bad feeling bout this.

Ain't no use sit'n here writ'n a big ol' long blog post this morn'n. I ain't did nuttin worth writ'n bout. But I don't feel alone as most the blogs I follow are in the same "shut down" mode......nuttin to write about. Now don't be get'n me wrong. I ain't say'n everybody is just sit'n round do'n nuttin 'cause I read some blogs wheres they make old Billy Bob feel like a bump on a log. I rekon we all have our days....don't wanna do nuttin, ain't got no silly stories to tell or feel they are spinn'n wheels. That where I'm at....spinn'n wheels....stuck...ain't no tow truck for miles. "Well damn Billy Bob, get off yer ass an' do something".

Speak'n of get'n off yer ass, I don't know what happen, but the last 3, 4 or 5 days, I ain't been feel'n so good. I rekon it's the weather since it's too cold to do anything outside (29 degs last night). And ya know what can happen when ya sit inside "da house" all day all cooped up like a chicken gonna lay a egg....ya get lazy, cantankerous, grumpy an' don't give a flip one way t'other. But as you know, those days pass....usually long bout spring time after the snow melts.

 

"pesky neighbor" Wayne

As you may have notice in one my previous posts, Wayne's oxygen level had dropped to dangerous levels. This morning he is back in the hospital with breathing issues, low oxygen level and low blood pressure. Will update his condition as I receive further news. No visitation allowed at this time.

It was cold again this morning, but less the howling winds of yesterday. Now I ain't one to be caught complain'n bout nuttin, but....damn, winter sucks. I suppose that if there was no winter, the Mississippi river would eventually dry up, the Gulf of Mexico would become so saline all the delicious little shrimps would die, humanity would cease to exist due to dehydration an' starvation and this world would  revert back to the land of dinosaurs. That could happen ya know.

I done come to the conclusion that....people are different. No, not talk'n bout different from other species of living flesh, but different from one another humans. Our likes an' dislikes are different. Our ways of life are different. We don't see eye to eye on stuff. We are all unique in our own way and the things we do fits our personal uniqueness. Ya get'n the picture yet? My xxwife used to get all in a wad 'cause I didn't like the same things she did. Or I didn't do the things she suggested....or demanded. Then she wouldn't talk to me for a week....thank God. I've found that to be the case in my entire life, people try'n to impose their way of life on mine. I'll admit that I'm just a little bit "redneck" in many ways, but I like my life as it is, do'n what I like when I like, with out changing into someone I ain't gonna like. I done try that a few times an' weren't happy.

I were read'n a blog yesterday bout introverts and extroverts. Never know what they was till I read this guys blog. I rekon I must be a extrovert since I got to be around people to be happy. And I got to have a dawg for company and companionship. Now there was a time when I didn't like people....but I liked dawgs. I could go up to the mountains and camp out for weeks and never give a thought to what's go'n on in town. I were by myself....'cept'n for my dawg. I weren't lonely an' never bored. I rekon I was an introvert. Is one better than the other? Hell, I don't know.

Relat'n to the two items above, I am back at odds as to "winter destination". Everything has been weighed and "da slabs" seems the better choice of the two possibilities. Although I do love south Texas, being from there. Yeah I'm a freak'n Texan liv'n in New Mexico and go'n to California for the winter. Well, last night I were think'n bout all them fishes in south Texas say'n..."Billy Bob, cast over here". Then I got to remember'n bout all them cold northers what cut through me like a knife an' them cold ass blow'n winds....rain an' stuff what happen every year. "Damn Billy Bob, make up yer mind".

Ok....who the hell is butterbean and Sue? Have ya ever read a comment and it sticks with ya? Make ya think...."who the hell is this"? I been try'n to put 2+2 together try'n to figger out who "butterbean" may be an' comes up with a 3. It seem he know me or he wouldn't have challenged me to a game of pool in Rockport. I thought about rvsue here in New Mexico, but give up that notion. Thought bout my nephew Joseph, but he don't know how to spell butterbean. Who the hell is butterbean an' Sue??? This is fun ya know.

I got this piece of wood. It all dirty an' gray color....just a old root I pick up somewheres.

I done this before, strip off the outer skin and reveal the beauty of that piece of wood what lays below. Been gonna work on this for two year now but ain't never got to it.....'cause it were lost. Fount it up under a seat with a bunch of other crap.....what was lost too. Not say'n how long it gonna take to get started skinn'n this prize, but stay tuned. Ya may have to remind me.

Play'n pool

I were play'n pool one night. Probably ahead a couple or five hunnert dollar. I were "hot" that night. But I were also drunk'er an a skunk. Stumble up to the table, look at them balls through one fuzzy eye an' let 'er rip.

Ya see, it were like this....We was play'n our yearly pool championship tournament in La Marque, Texas.  This was a yearly event brought on by some hi roller pool players out of Houston. They brung their best. Side bets averaged bout five hunnert to a thousand a game on two tables. The place was packed. Money chang'n hands. I was assigned to table #2 at the beginning of competition and held that position till I could barely stagger to the table four hours later.

Play'n the same player over and over and over became boring, so we start show'n off....trick shots and stuff, two bank 8 ball shots an such....with a grand bet on the side. By midnight I were tired....never wanna see another pool ball long as I live. After the last game was finish we tally up our winnings....me and that guy from Houston. I were $5 ahead, cain't stand up and bout to puke up all that rot gut beer they was pour'n down me. Jump in my old pick'em up and drive home do'n 20 mile a hour. The following night drinks were on the house for the Billy Bob.

I don't play pool no more 'cause I freak'n can't see the balls. Last time I play was back in 2003 at a local bar in Port Aransas. I were drink'n fresh brewed Colombian hi octane coffee. It were a weekly "buy in" tournament for wanna-be pool sharks. Tak'n my choice of crooked house sticks off'n the wall, I proceeded to knock some balls around the table. Some go in, some don't. I were rusty like a nail. By nights end, I come in second place....weren't no way I could beat that guy.....he good.
Yes, I love pool and Colombian hi octane coffee.

And then there were the time.....bro in law get all dress up, big ol' cowboy hat, boots, western cut trench coat or what ever, foo foo juice an' all that girlie stuff. Had his own stick an' alligator leather carry case.....little knocker thingy in his pocket for the tip.We was go'n to town for a night at the pool hall in Corpus Christi.  Don't get me wrong now....he were purty damn good for a wanna be cowboy. But old Billy Bob stomp a mud hole in him right off the bat....all night long. By nights end I were ahead by 3 to 1. That's excellent odds if'n ya play'n for money...what we weren't.

Now let me tell ya bout the time I weren't so good. We was play'n a pool game call "golf" on a snooker table at the local billard hall in Huntington, West by God Virginia. Were six of us play'n. The game of golf is one of the hardest games to play on a pool table. Especially on a 5x10 foots play'n surface. The pockets and the balls are smaller than regulation pool so ya gotta poke 'em just right. I lines up my shots with position for the next shot in mind. BAM....I swaks that ball an' here it go down the table a hunnert mile a hour, hit the cushion an' jump slap on the floor. Didn't matter how hard I think, I miss shots, hit wrong balls, make someone elses ball....I suck. Then we switch over to 9 ball on a regulation table. Damn....I lose a hunnert dollar just like that. Never see that nine ball one time. All in all of play'n for 20 years, I would guess I broke close to even.
Wanna shoot a game fer a dollar???

Cold front blowed in this morn'n. Howl'n winds all night long keep me awake. Temp didn't drop much but it's cold out there....54 degs., windy and no sunshine to brighten my day. This is the beginning of winter in Deming. With that being said, it's almost time for old Billy Bob to hit the road to warmer climes. I been toss'n it around for the last couple month bout where I gonna go this winter. Toss up between south Texas and southern Calif. Well, southern Calif. has won out. Billy Bob is go'n to "da slabs" for the 4th year in a row. Catch me up some rainbow trout at "da pond" in Yuma.

Better late than never....

Well shoot, I were think'n this morning that I need to post something. But there was nuttin to write about. Didn't do a damn thing yesterday and today was no different. So what do ya write about??

Old "pesky neighbor" Wayne had a bout with his oxygen level last night. Was down to 74. Just 2 days ago it was 94 to 96. Off to the doctor he went and they gonna put him back on oxygen again. Sure am glad his shoes don't fit me.

Called the upholstery guy this morn'n chack'n to see if'n he split the country with the deposit money I gave him. Nope, he still around, but gave me some off the wall sob story bout why the material ain't arrived yet.  Something bout his grandmama died, his cousin Raymundo Gonzales was sick and his truck was in the shop. Ok....that sounds logical....I think.

Received a much anticipated email from Amazon that my 500 watt sound system has been shipped. Boy howdy can hardly wait. Shake some winders an' piss off the neighbors.......yeah!!! In case ya ain't seen what I got com'n by UPS, here is a pic....again.

The last system I had of this caliber was a 400 watt system what I blow slap up.....big ol' smoke cloud come out that thing, scare hell out me. Don't get me wrong now. It ain't like I'm skeered of smoke or nuttin like that, but this thing was on fire, mak'n all kind "crackle" sounds and stuff. Turn off a circuit breaker all by it self.

There's a story I would like to tell ya, but don't know if it's appropriate or not. Oh hell....why not? There was this lady....dare I say lady, what moved in the park. Feeled sorry for her husband. They got throwed out the last park they was in for attempt'n to take over and set park rules for the residents. She were one them anti smoke kind of people....any kind of smoke. Her first ploy was to inform all residents that smoking of any kind would no longer be allowed. HUH??? Not even the park owner dare tell us that.

She caused an old 86 year old man, what could hardly walk, to be kicked out of the park for burning weeds and such in a burn barrel. That what they for ya know. Said the smoke make her sick an' stay awake at night. She kept after that old man till he almost had a seizure....or something like that. Turn a water hose on him one time he light up his pipe. He finally moved after a couple months of her harassment. Sad to say, but I think he's dead now.

Then she start up on old Billy Bob, wrong move, complain'n that his bbq'n had to cease because of the smoke from my blackened an' charred chicken caused her headaches an' kept her awake at night. Now she start in on the wrong feller when she start in on old Billy Bob. That smoke were no way near her site. It were all on my porch in a big ol' smoke cloud.....flames an' stuff. Take a water hose put it out. Well, after a couple weeks of her complaints, old Billy Bob done had enough of these nonsense daily complaints. Gonna smoke her ass slap out the park.....that what I gonna do. I cuts up some old 2x4's an' every night I throw some in the blaz'n hot grill. When the wind come out the north, that 2x4 smoke go right to her house. If'n there weren't no north wind, I used a big fan. Good thing I weren't cook'n nuttin with them sticks or it would have been burn slap up.  Didn't take long with her complaints to the office staff, what ignored her daily complaints, before they was hook'n it up. Thank God for invent'n 2x4's.