Saturday, November 5, 2011

Play'n pool

I were play'n pool one night. Probably ahead a couple or five hunnert dollar. I were "hot" that night. But I were also drunk'er an a skunk. Stumble up to the table, look at them balls through one fuzzy eye an' let 'er rip.

Ya see, it were like this....We was play'n our yearly pool championship tournament in La Marque, Texas.  This was a yearly event brought on by some hi roller pool players out of Houston. They brung their best. Side bets averaged bout five hunnert to a thousand a game on two tables. The place was packed. Money chang'n hands. I was assigned to table #2 at the beginning of competition and held that position till I could barely stagger to the table four hours later.

Play'n the same player over and over and over became boring, so we start show'n off....trick shots and stuff, two bank 8 ball shots an such....with a grand bet on the side. By midnight I were tired....never wanna see another pool ball long as I live. After the last game was finish we tally up our winnings....me and that guy from Houston. I were $5 ahead, cain't stand up and bout to puke up all that rot gut beer they was pour'n down me. Jump in my old pick'em up and drive home do'n 20 mile a hour. The following night drinks were on the house for the Billy Bob.

I don't play pool no more 'cause I freak'n can't see the balls. Last time I play was back in 2003 at a local bar in Port Aransas. I were drink'n fresh brewed Colombian hi octane coffee. It were a weekly "buy in" tournament for wanna-be pool sharks. Tak'n my choice of crooked house sticks off'n the wall, I proceeded to knock some balls around the table. Some go in, some don't. I were rusty like a nail. By nights end, I come in second place....weren't no way I could beat that guy.....he good.
Yes, I love pool and Colombian hi octane coffee.

And then there were the time.....bro in law get all dress up, big ol' cowboy hat, boots, western cut trench coat or what ever, foo foo juice an' all that girlie stuff. Had his own stick an' alligator leather carry case.....little knocker thingy in his pocket for the tip.We was go'n to town for a night at the pool hall in Corpus Christi.  Don't get me wrong now....he were purty damn good for a wanna be cowboy. But old Billy Bob stomp a mud hole in him right off the bat....all night long. By nights end I were ahead by 3 to 1. That's excellent odds if'n ya play'n for money...what we weren't.

Now let me tell ya bout the time I weren't so good. We was play'n a pool game call "golf" on a snooker table at the local billard hall in Huntington, West by God Virginia. Were six of us play'n. The game of golf is one of the hardest games to play on a pool table. Especially on a 5x10 foots play'n surface. The pockets and the balls are smaller than regulation pool so ya gotta poke 'em just right. I lines up my shots with position for the next shot in mind. BAM....I swaks that ball an' here it go down the table a hunnert mile a hour, hit the cushion an' jump slap on the floor. Didn't matter how hard I think, I miss shots, hit wrong balls, make someone elses ball....I suck. Then we switch over to 9 ball on a regulation table. Damn....I lose a hunnert dollar just like that. Never see that nine ball one time. All in all of play'n for 20 years, I would guess I broke close to even.
Wanna shoot a game fer a dollar???

Cold front blowed in this morn'n. Howl'n winds all night long keep me awake. Temp didn't drop much but it's cold out there....54 degs., windy and no sunshine to brighten my day. This is the beginning of winter in Deming. With that being said, it's almost time for old Billy Bob to hit the road to warmer climes. I been toss'n it around for the last couple month bout where I gonna go this winter. Toss up between south Texas and southern Calif. Well, southern Calif. has won out. Billy Bob is go'n to "da slabs" for the 4th year in a row. Catch me up some rainbow trout at "da pond" in Yuma.


  1. Never became a shark, but i could play as good as what i saw in the bars around here, and i had to have a few in me to do it. Didn't go out and get my stick, til i had a game set up,,,lololol.New guy came in one nite, playing by himself, and i watched for a while, finally got up and put my money up, and out of courtesy,

  2. Howdy ol' BB,

    Calidamfornia!!! Come on back to
    Rockport, itz a whole lot cheaper!!
    Catch some 'reds' and hurrah Barney!
    Sue needs you to 'lern' her about Mew Nexico and all of the trix of the desert..
    How's the ol' neighbor that was recuperating from his cutting-on??
    If you come back down here I'll shoot you a game, but I ain't playing on no 4X5 table with no pockets.. Thatz the quickest way to lose all of your beer $$$!!!

  3. he played me,, well, i beat him,,twice! So, from then on, he asked ME to play. lolol. He'd come in, order 2 beers, just to start with. Anyway, i had a lot of fun, fooling them. (Practiced on my bro's 9 ft table) Made those bar tables EASY.

  4. Never had a doubt that you would head to the slabs. See you when the snow melts.

  5. Ok, now ya got me to think'n....who the hell is butterbean an' Sue??? I used to know coffeebean, but he been dead for some time. Then there was "stringbean", but I ain't see him since 1969. He probably dead too. I remember a gal name of Becky Sue an' another name Suzy Q, but who the hell is butterbean and Sue???

    Tell old Barney I says "hi".

  6. Barney, it ain't set in stone yet. Still got 3 weeks for better offers. Don't know if I can afford them high dollar RV parks in Rockport when the slabs is free.
    Who the hell is butterbean and Sue???

  7. Hahahahaha,, Well, i, for one, sure enjoyed that Butterbean on my blog today.. lmaoooooo.

  8. I do not know who butterbean is. Since Sue and new Mex desert were mentioned together, it may be RVSue.

  9. Pool ain't my game, but I bet I could whoop you at Ping-Pong. That's (or was) my game. Got trophies to prove it.

  10. Dizzy, believe it or not, I onest got me a bloody nose play'n ping pong. Took me a big ol' "trick" swing at that little ball and swak myself right on the nose with that little paddle bat.