Saturday, January 23, 2010

Stoopit kids

Oh....there it is right there on my right foot. Who would'a ever thought?

Before ya ask, that was my shoe I were look'n for. But it weren't really miss'n.
Did I ever tell ya bout the time, I were get'n late for work and couldn't find my glasses. I look everywhere. I were frustrated...that damn girl just lay'n there with a grin on her face. "my glasses...git up..help me find my glasses". "You're wearing them....stooopit". That a true story...I swear. And I were only 52 year old. Now I'm well beyond that age and still have the same problem.....but that ain't what I'm get'n on to here.

I were lay'n in bed this morn'n think'n.....damn it's cold in here ....Lug Nut git off'n me...damn dog!!! Respect, that's what miss'n in my life. Like when I'm eat'n, them damn dogs just sit there stare'n at me..."I want a bite". "Oh can I have some"? Neighbors have no respect at all. Here I am sit'n outside, mind'n my own business and here they come with a big grin on their face. I don't wanna talk this early in the morn'n....I'm "relaz'n". Yeah that's a word....kind of like lay'n back but too lazy to move. Next thing ya know, they gonna want to sit down and ask some silly question like "how ya doing". And ya know what that can lead to....a long drawn out useless boring conversation.

What I fount out in years of "practice"..... make 'em go way. Growl....yeah....growl. Works good unless there's a dog present....dogs bite. Start cuss'n....just any word 'll do. "Gald darn" coffee sucks. Where's the "freak'n" price tag? Learn to cuss when there ain't nobody round. Talk to yourself...loud. That'll scare 'em. That remind me the time I were in the local Walmart store back in San Antone. Weren't a good day for old Billy Bob. I were feel'n the after effects of a bad meal and a few beers, so's I started mumbl'n stuff in every asile...talk'n to myself.....quite a conversation. I notice people were stay'n clear, but they was a look'n. So's I started us'n a few choice cuss'n words. Boy howdy, that do the trick. I were attacked by the manager and a couple rough look'n dudes what escorted me out the front door. No respect I tell ya, no respect.

What I'm get'n to here is...leave old people alone. Don't mess with 'em. Respect 'em...like they was your own relation. Give 'em a big ol' hug and see what happen to ya. LOL...they gonna knock ya down.

Sure is a good look'n day out there. Just think'n...I should be a fish'n. Done spent some my hard earn dollar on fish'n stuff and here I sit just think'n bout it. Fix my fish pole so's it'll throw that line with the little spin thingy a mile. Grease it all up like brand spank'n new. And here I sit just think'n bout it.

With all that said, here what I gonna do. Gonna sit right here until all that mud in Yuma dry up, fire up my 8.1 General Motors Chevy Vortec engine and head off to town. Fill up my water tank, empty that "other" nasty tank, get me some more propane and spend a night at Walmart wait'n on my prescriptions. That make me so "cited I could swing open the door and pee in da yard. I pee in a swim pool one time...right off the side. Had the whole place to myself right quick like. That when I were younger though...45 I think. Kids do stupid things ya know.

Speak'n stupid things.....I had me an old "37 Dodge car what I wanted to turn over.....don't ask why.  Go'n down the road 60 mile a hour, made a sharp right hand turn...dust and dirt fly'n. Went up over that hill thingy the road grader left, out off through greasewood bushes, cactus and little flower thingys....bounc'n like a "goofy ball". Stuff was fly'n. The damn thing wouldn't turn over. Took it to a race track...wide open round ever turn. All what happen was a blowed tire and a long walk home. Had it turn over, ya would be read'n my obituary instead. Stoopit kids!!!

Now for the grand finally.....break time.

Ok...break time over...got things to do. "Oh...what press'n things ya got to do Billy Bob"? See...that what I were talk'n bout...talk'n to myself.

I were sit'n outside on da porch sip'n a cup and got to think'n.....them batteries ain't get'n fully charged. So's I broke out the DeWalt hi power 9 volt portable drill, the table saw and the big ol' roll round pump 'em up jack. I have work to do. Took that charge controller off'n the wall and crank that voltage up to 14.70 volt. Boy howdy, I want ya lookie see all them amp go'n in them batteries. Ain't gonna be no time them battery gonna be cry'n..."turn it off". While I was deeply involved with fix'n stuff, I chacked the voltage drop from the charge controller to the battery bank. Holy cows....14.28 volts....that ain't right. Time I went look'n for some heavy wire...bout #4 I rekon will do. But then again, I could buy me one then Trimetric 2020 meter battery monitor thingies and move the controller to the battery compartment. But not today!!!!

Clum up on the roof to check where my slideout been leak'n. Yep....right there where the seal thingy don't even touch the slide roof. That would cause a leak...right??? Now....how the hell do ya raise the slide when it sit on rollers. Wonder if'n that why it so hard to roll it in. Gonna have to look into that...but not today. Hold on, I gonna go outside and check something.....be right back. Well that were a wasted trip....can't see a damn thing.
Oh well....back to the porch, sip a cup and do some think'n.


  1. I used to be a smart kid, Im gettin dumber as time goes by.

  2. Sure am glad to see ya sipping your coffee and "thinking". That the best of us ole farts sometimes ain't it?
    My problem is once I get to thinking I usually end up buying something on line. :-(

  3. What's the difference between a dohickey and a thingamabob?

  4. I think doohicky and thingymabob are the same thing, dookicky is a yankee term.

  5. Billy Bob if you were a woman I would say you were "on your period", but being you are a man, I think you are just having a "bad day" :-)

  6. Think we gonna have to call DA Slabs, wheres he at and got wake his lazy ass up to he can update his blog!! Good Gawd, just cause he retired and living the free and open road life style don't mean he don't have to update us!!

  7. Better call the sheriff to check on BB.

  8. I'll bet that BB is going to have a whopper of a story to tell when he updates his blog.

  9. I think the dish ran away with the spoon.