Black Cloud

Boy howdy, let me tell ya bout weather and that "black cloud". Here it is almost the middle of summer and the next 2 days gonna be cold. Well, maybe not cold, but it get'n close. And wind??? Let me tell ya bout the wind.......30 mph for the next 2 days. In fact, it blown'n up a storm right now...bout 25 mph.

Speak'n of black cloud....did I ever tell ya bout the time. It were my grandpa what caused it all. Ya see, back in the 19teens, grandpa had'a go to jail. From a few stories I hear, he kill an Indian what was steal'n stuff from the ranch in New Mexico. Supposedly, he spent 6 months in the Deming jail for shoot'n an Indian named "Black Cloud". Whether this story is true or not, I tend to I believe it 'cause "the ghost of Black Cloud" haunts me where ever I go.

Now what the hell?? Have ya ever go to the store and buy some super glue in one them big containers what look like a lot of glue? Well let me tell ya right now, looks can be deceiving. By the size of the container, it should hold enough glue to glue stuff for a month. But, after read'n the fine print, it only contains 1/4 ounce and that ain't much glue. In fact, I don''t think that enough to glue a cats a$$ to the floor. Consumer rip off, that what it is. Now I gotta go back to town....sheesh!!! Oh well, I needed to go to town anyhows.

Boy howdy, let me tell ya, that was exciting. "that jeep" were all over the road, sand was a blow'n, ya couldn't see, cars was pull off the road.....yep..."what a ride". Anyhows, went by the doctor office to get new prescriptions so's I don't die overnight. They gonna call them in if'n the doctor do his thang. Made an appointment while I was there. Then I went down to the tire sell'n place for some brand spank'n new tires. Had'a order them. Maybe monday "that jeep" will have some new sandals. Then I went to the hardware store. MY GOD, what happen in here??? They done move everything. Got some items for the riverboat...you know....sanding disks, power tool attachments, nuts and bolts and a tube of super glue. Did ya know that "monkey" Gorilla glue makes super glue??? Remember yesterday I were bitch'n bout how much they put in a big container (1/4 ounce) and charge ya for a gallon. Well monkey glue has 1/2 ounce for the same price...and it gel, just what I were look'n for.

And then...and then....look out...here it come....I piss off a cop. Ya see, I live 5 mile out of town on that highway they blocked off 1 block from "Sally da house". Well I drive up past all them other cars wait'n in line and here come "sheriff Barney Fife" wav'n his arms. I says "I'm just going over there to that rv park". He says "you gonna wait in line just like everyone else". He didn't know who he talk'n to...so's I just drove off...to that little rv park over there. He were hot!!! One of these days....I gonna go to jail.

And life goes on

Stayed up a bit late last night in an attempt to finish all the bulkheads and get it ready to start planking. Look'n good Billy Bob. You deserve a fresh cup of coffee and a sit on "da porch". Maybe eat some them pecans.

Woke up this morning to another beautiful day. Gonna get up to something like 80 degs. Ummmmm, boy howdy, can hardly wait. But you watch, something gonna happen. That old black cloud will show up when least expected.

I was expecting the hummers to show up by now, but ain't see one yet. We got some pyrrhuloxia (pronounced, pier-ru-lux-e-ah). For those that don't know, pyrrhuloxia is a cardinal with less red. Google it. Of course the curved bill thrashers are abundant, but it piss me off when people call the cactus wrens. There's a difference ya know,  even though they look similar. Same with the Mexican Ravens that people call a crow. Sheesh!!!

Speak'n of birds....yesterday as I proceeded  to make a left turn with a green light, this lady just kept right on through a red light aimed right at me. Of course she was on "da phone", not paying any mind that she might kill some old retired fart making a left turn with a green light, so I "tooted" her...one long blast. Ha, she give me one them looks and then, and then, I can't believe it, she give me the bird as she proceeded on through her red light, gums a flap'n.

Ok....porch time. Be sure to check back laters.

Well shoot, is it later yet?  Seem like every time I say later, the cops or something show up. Yep, trailer trash again. Something bout their kid not being in school or something like that. They didn't go round to all the tenants and tell us what go'n on.....darn it.

 Planking begins

This the way ya do it

Lifting all those heavy planks today made my back mighty sore 

I have a total of three rows of planking installed. That means I only have ten more rows to go. Then I can plank the flat bottom. What, about a month??? Nah, oughta be done in a few days. Then come the hard part, sanding, filling, sanding, filling, sanding, automotive sandable primer, sanding, more primer, steel wool and finally the first coat of paint. Damn, that made me tired typ'n all that stuff.

Building Permit

Well, here it is another day already and don't have the slightest what I gonna do. Weren't no ice sickle this morning so I rekon it gonna be a good day for sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n. And boy howdy, do old Billy Bob got some stuff to think bout.

Since I need to go back to "that store" (Walmart), I guess a list is in order. You know how it is when ya can't remember stuff, ya gotta write it down....otherwise, ya gonna be mak'n another trip.

Today sure would be a great day for golf ball swak'n. But today is "ladies day". Now let me tell ya bout ladies day. This is the day of the week when ladies turn into your worstest nightmare. These Deming ladies are serious when it comes to swak'n balls on "ladies day". They change in the twinkle of an eye. I mean, ya don't mess with an old lady with a big ole club in her hand.  Know what I mean Vern??? I ain't say'n that men can't swak golf balls on ladies day, they just have to stay clear, out of sight and shut up. They ain't gonna let ya play through and they "talk" for hours.

Just got back from Walmart with a whole bag full of glue and stuff. Ya know what??? Walmart sucks. Them damn prescription people got their head fogged up with some kind of smoke.....or something like that. Now I gots to go back to my doctor, what gonna raise hell with me for all the weight I lost and I'm sure he gonna say something bout me smok'n. That's why I don't keep my appointments..."Oh Billy Bob, them smokes gonna kill ya". Well Duh, bout when I'm 85 or so, yeah, I might swaller a cigar and choke to death.
Now what the hell was I talk'n bout???? Oh yeah...get brand spank'n new prescriptions.

8:00pm....don't be say'n old Billy Bob don't know what he do'n. After 2 hour sand'n off the "char" where the lasor cutter burn out all them pieces, I start put'n stuff together. Thank God for Mr. Leonard Lasor.

Now that what I'm talk'n bout.

Good day at "da house"

Hot damn it gonna be a good day at old Billy Bob's house. First thing I see this morning was dark, and then, and then, here come the sun shin'n in my eyes. Beautiful sunshine warm up an old cold body.

Ya do know it's still cold in Deming...right? Again this morning, it was below 30 degs. Although, this morning my ice sickle was a foot shorter than yesterday morning. That's a good sign that things are warming up. Speak'n of warm'n up, the rest of the week is gonna be in the upper 70's...right on the edge of 80. Boy howdy, can hardly wait. BUT.....ya ain't never gonna guess what the wind gonna do. Did I hear someone say "blow like hell"? Yep, you right....25 plus for the next 4 days....start'n Wednesday. God, I hate this place.

WOOOO HOOOO or what ever, my Mississippi Sternwheeler boat is at the post office. Now....you all know that I ordered it from some "flake" outfit just to save $100, but it has cost me $400 in mental anguish. Never do that again. Anyone know anything bout building a wooden ship??? I may need some help here.

Now that i have a reason to go downtown, I'll make up my Walmart list.....got to love Walmart. In the mean time I got to get ready...."Lug Nut, where my other shoe"?

Wow, what a ride. That jeep run'n like scared roadrunner.
Went to the post office and pick up my boat kit, drop by the Hughes Net guy bout another antenna dish, then go to my favorite store. Yep, you guessed it, Walmart. Drop off my empty drug bottles in the pharmacy and they say....."WAIT Mr Billy Bob. Your meds are over there in Yuma" That figgers. Every time I get them refilled, my prescriptions are transfered to where ever I'm at from where I ain't. And then they have to be transfered from where I ain't no more to where I'm at NOW. Just a phone call away.

Antenna guy come by with a brand spank'n new used dish. I look it over real good and I thinks it will work. At least it ain't all bent up like mine. Will know tomorrow morning after I change it out. GD thing better work. At $60 a month, I could have had a V-8.
Speak'n of V-8, I attempted to make me a home brew of that good tast'n healthy drink. LOLOLOLOL.....HAHAHAHAHA...ya don't even wanna hear bout it. Don't know why I brung it up in the first place. Probably just to be run'n off and say'n nuttin.

Gonna be eat'n supper on "da porch" since it still 76 degs @6:20 pm DST. Boy howdy!!! Can hardly wait.

Sheeh!!! Now what???

Do ya ever see the sun come up in the morning? I do. Ya see, I don't close my curtain thingys 'cause I don't do drugs. Why did Jimmy crack corn?

Last night we was lay'n on the couch watch'n Cops and Sadie Mae look me in the eye and say "I don't wanna go". I told her bout all the fun we was gonna have catch'n fish, golf'n and stuff and all she say was "I don't like fish, and I don't like camp'n".

Hold on....phone call

Ok, here's the deal. Two hours to pull the front drive line in "that jeep". Boy howdy, who tighten them bolts. Took a little road trip down the highway 80 mile a hour to check for vibration. Yep, it still there. Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob?? Then I check the transmission fluid. Too much. Now how the hell I gonna get some out??? Then, the battery was low. Sheesh, who the hell put these connections on like that. Loose and crudded up. Then I took the little red Bronco II for a run up the dirt road. Decided to turn left and get on the golf cart track. Put it to the floor and send dust, dirt and mesquite bushes fly'n. Then I knock my mirror off on that tree right over there. What a ride.

Did I mention the little video OGT put on his blog??? You would think a grown educated man would find better things to do, but ya gotta see it. Right here.

Undecided mind

Well, from the title of this post, you must be wondering what old Billy Bob is up to today. It has everything to do with the rights of a full fledged American citizen. In other words, I'm exercising my first amendment right to "change my mind". Oh wait, is that a first amendment right? Well, I don't give a rat's if it is or not, but I have changed my mind again.

That jeep what I was gonna park is going to Georgia with me and my little red Bronco II is gonna sit right where it are. Here what I gonna do and why. The vibration in the front end is caused by a bad pinion bearing in the front rear end....don't know what else to call it. So I'm gonna remove the front drive shaft what will make it a two wheel drive instead of four wheel drive. I have to mechanically inclined boys in Georgia that will help my make all the repairs needed to make "that jeep" into what it was intended to be....a stock 4x4 Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited.

Oh, while I'm think'n bout it.....why don't people understand rednecks??? Some people think of rednecks as rebels, southerners, backwood country folk, uneducated, beer guzzl'n drunks, junk collectors, radicals and numerous other names. But it ain't so. It take a lot of work to be a real redneck....and skool'n to boot. They have a language of their own what most people cain't comprehend. They spell words like they sposed to sound.

Rednecks spend more money on cars than them middle class rich folks do. When a redneck buy an old 1965 Ford pick up truck, he keeps it....for spare parts and stuff. They lose the trade in value. The reason ya see 'em sit'n on blocks in the back yard is 'cause them wheels and tires is gonna fit the new 1968 Ford pick up truck. In bout a year of so, and a couple hunert mile, they in the market for another new Ford pick up truck. Rednecks don't buy brand spank'n new pick up trucks 'cause they know old is better. And ya don't have to wash 'em.

Boy howdy is the wind blow'n today. I were gonna go outside, sit on "da porch" sip'n a cup and do some think'n, but damn.....it blow'n 30 mph and gust'n to a hunert.....or something like that.

One last thing for the day....did I mention the wind was blow'n??? Well, let me tell ya bout some wind. Since this morn'n, it has really cranked up. Cord'n to the weather guys, it were 37 mph with 60+ mph gusts  in town where the trees and stuff knock it down a bit. They done closed down all the major highways, I-10 and Silver City highway where old Billy Bob is at. "Da porch" has almost a 1/4 inch sand on it and it not much better in "Sally da house". Sheesh, If'n I ever come back to Deming again, I hope it snows for a week.

Skint me up two then rainbow trough and throw "em in a skillet with some onion, a can of diced maters and my special trout seasons. Didn't remember what they were, so I improvised. Hot damn, it were gooood.

Yesterday is gone

Well, yesterday was fun, but yesterday is gone. All the silly comments amused me, but I have some concerns with one of the commenter's. Ya ain't go'n with me, shaved legs or not. And to the nice little lady, so sorry you don't meet the most important qualifications.

For today, I'll attempt to find some other nonsense to write about, but in the mean time, it's serious all the way....important stuff.

Old pesky neighbor Wayne come over this morn'n with a pocket full on food. Yeah, he carries food in his pockets. Anyhows, we gonna go swak some golf balls here in a bit. Been a week ya know.
Will return later with details of this most important activity that consumes the better part of my day. Gonna swak that ball a mile.

Boy howdy I'm gonna tell ya right now, that old Billy Bob know something bout swak'n golf balls. It weren't my best game, but it sure were a long ways from being my worst game.  On a par 5, I hit that ball so hard it were on the green. Only it weren't the right green....it were that one over there. Took out a 5 wood and swak that sucker so hard it make my shimmie's shimmy....right round them trees what was right in front me, end'n up in the middle of the fareway...right where is sposed to be. Wonderful day of golf.

Oh boy, the trailer trash people have started more crap. One has video cameras pointed at other sites recording any activity. I would think that would be considered invasion of privacy, but what the hell does old Billy Bob know. And then, after a great game of golf, I come back to a conflict about my harmless little dogs run'n loose. As this is private property and the owner has given his permission for them to have "open range" of the place.....what the hell does old Billy Bob know. As this saga continues, you will be informed of any new occurrences.

Now that I have had a nice hot cup of soup and a Spam and cheese sandwich, I think it's time for a little nappie poo. When I wake up I'll be all grumpy and stuff and if anyone want some trouble.....well, what can I say?