Thursday, May 16, 2013

Gotta do something....anything

Boy howdy, sit'n round all day do'n nuttin sure do get boring.

The ol' big toe is much better this morn'n, although there is still swell'n. At this point I don't give a flip if'n it's broke or not. It will heal either way. But what condition is it gonna be in onest it heal? Ya know I already have arthur-itis, gout or some kind of crud in my right foot. That why I cain't wear no shoes like "normal" people do. Is it gonna be worse when all of this is over? I sure don't want to be hobbl'n round on a walker or ride'n in one them Walmart electric go carts when I go shop'n.

I 'member when I had my heart surgery, I rode them handicap golf'n carts at Walmart. Boy howdy you talk bout hav'n some fun.....Yeeee Har....here come the Billy Bob. Bump into all kind of stuff. Piss regular shoppers off go'n down the middle of the aisle. I wonder if'n when you get temporary handicapped if'n it affects your mind too. Ya don't drive down the middle of the aisle an' ya don't purposely run into other shoppers. Sheesh!

When I was in a VA hospital for 3 weeks from a back injury, they give me a brand spank'n new wheelchair to ride around in. I mean to tell ya, this was a smooth run'n wheelchair. But I didn't ride in it. I walk behind it....use it for support ya know. Another feller had him a "old" wheelchair. Wheels squeeked, paint was peel'n, brakes didn't work....that kind of stuff. Well, this guy steal my wheelchair one day while I was sleep'n....an' leave me his old piece of junk wheelchair. If'n ya ever been to a VA hospital, ya know that the first thing they do is "dope" ya up. I think thay call that "patient control" or something like that. Anyhows, I was all "doped up" an' went look'n for my wheelchair. When I fount it, that "grand theft wheelchair" guy turn white as a sheet. He was busted....I catched his ass sit'n in my brand spank'n new wheelchair.  I were swing'n one them aluminum canes with 4 feet on it an' cuss'n up a storm. Dope induced ya know. I got my chair back all right, but the damn VA police....security or what ever they was put me in a room all by myself for a few hours. A bed, no winders to look outside an' me strapped in my brand spank'n new wheelchair. They said it was the "cool'n down room".  

 I ain't been think'n bout much other than a round of golf ball swak'n. Now let me 'splain something bout golf ball swak'n. It ain't got nuttin to do with go'n out there beat'n the other guy or nuttin like that. It's all bout how freak'n far ya can swak that little white ball with your driver. It's something that brings out the "macho" in ya....poke yer chest out, stuff like that. "I hit that ball so far it gonna take a week to find it". That what I'm talk'n bout. It's a personal thing. Your one chance to beat yourself.  Did ya know that the "Holy Grail" for a amateur golfer is to break 80. Break'n 80 is to score under 80....not 80. The closest I ever come to the "Holy Grail" was 80 when me an' old "pesky neighbor" Wayne was play'n together. That was before I had heart surgery an' old "pesky" almost died. I came }{ this close.

Today is a beautiful day. Temp is hang'n round bout 89 degs, sun is shin'n an' bout 12 mile a hour sooth'n breeze. There just ain't no way ya could ask for a better day.


  1. I hit that ball so far it gonna take a week to find it" Good grief I have seen you hit it close by in the water and never find it.
    I am in Aransas Pass now and settling in.

  2. I guess you needed a bit of solitary confinement, but the other guy, did he get anything for Grand Theft-Wheelchair?

  3. "The closest I ever come to the "Holy Grail" was 80 when me an' old "pesky neighbor" Wayne was play'n together. "

    Were you hitting from the wimmens' tees?

  4. If you hit it too far you may not be able to find it and it may go way past the green. You have heard the old joke about the guy who taught the gorrilla to play golf?

  5. No electric cart races? lol. I have to use one in Walmart, but can make it ok at the grocery.
    89* perfect weather? wow,,,AC time for me.