Friday, August 16, 2013

I dream a dead horse

I lay there toss'n an' turn'n, try'n to find a position where a excruciating pain would shoot down my leg an' paralyze my right foot. I ain't used to a lay'n down with no pain. Well, that weren't exactly how it happened....last night was not a pain free night. You shoulda see me jump slap out of bed while I was dream'n bout a dead horse lay'n on my leg. Ya see, I was ride'n in the Kentucky Derby. I was in first place. Here come a old sod bust'n sway back horse pull'n a plow run slap into me. It's a dream, stuff like this happen in a dream. My horse go head over heel, break his neck or something like that. Next thing I know, I'm try'n to get that horse off'n me, what was my little blankie wrap around my legs.....all tangle up. I hit the floor cuss'n, up on my toes, an' that leg cramp is gone....pooof, just like that.  

Since I was feel'n good yesterday morn'n, I figgered to catch up on my daily exercises before I do anything productive. I were only a couple days behind, so's I double up. "Shouldn't do that Billy Bob". Anyhows, I takes me some aspirin an' lay on my ass most the day.

Tried out my new pizza pan last night. Work pretty dad gum good too. Didn't burn nuttin. But I learn something. Can biscuits ain't the best dough for a pizza. It got something in it that makes it taste like.....Uhh, biscuits.

Speak'n of dreams.....back in '80 I hurt my back pretty good on a mop bucket. Ended up in the VA hospital for a while. Three weeks if'n I remember right. If ya ain't never been in a VA hospital, ya don't know nuttin bout drugs. They got drugs for everthing, an' they give me a handfull every day. Then I went home, brown paper bag full of drugs, no better off than the day I went there. 

I was lay'n in bed one night an' got to dream'n. I was on a safari in the Sahara desert, hunt'n lions. I was down on my hands an' knees crawl'n through the brush, had this old blanket pulled up over me so the lions wouldn't see me as I sneeked up on 'em.  There was a whole herd of lions. They was mad as hell at something....and they spy me. They start stalk'n me. They roared at me....big ol' teeth show'n. I roared back. Got up on my haunches.....ROARRRRRR!!!....bout a hunnert time.

My darling wife, the one I don't like, wakes up......"What the hell is wrong with you, you're all wrapped up in your blanket"?

I am just sit'n here, mind'n my own business ya know....the phone rings. It's my old buddy Gerry from California I ain't see in 8 years. "Are you still alive"??? Well yeah I am...."are you"?

You don't know bout Gerry do you? In the 50's, me an' Gerry were the towns two rambunctious, git in trouble, do anything dangerous teenagers. We went to school together. We raised all holy hell together. We broke stuff together. We was hell on a used set of wheels. I've mentioned Gerry on my blog before. Just type "Gerry" in the search thingy at the top. See what I'm talk'n bout.

We talk for bout a hour or so, catch'n up for the last 8 lost years. Everthing bout the same, other than sit'n on our ass do'n nuttin. We both had heart surgery an' we both got COPD. If I ever get back to California, gonna check an' see if'n Gerry is still alive. 


  1. Been following you for many months. I laugh out loud. Probably scaring the other campers in our campground. Thanks, I don't laugh easy!

  2. Kat from New Orleans..full-timer since February 2013

  3. Isn't it great to hear from old friends that you used to run with? Especially if you hadn't heard from them in years and then, out of the blue, the phone rings. . .

  4. Maybe hearing from the old friend is a good sign!

  5. I like your dreams ... what fun. Roaring back at lions? riding in the Kentucky Derby? good stuff. good laughs.

    I don't remember my dreams very well but I do remember at the end of them.... the characters parade. I'm in a reviewing booth and they all parade by. I like that.

    Great to see old pals. What fun.

  6. Good job, Billy Bob.... You're still a big dog.... get off the porch, circulate and perculate! It all come back to ya! Old RB :-)

  7. Sure is nice to chat with old friends you have not seen for a while.
    Now get out to California and go see him, will be fun.

  8. *phew* Them dreams would sure scare the bejeepers outta me. You're a brave one, Billy Bob.
    Just want to mention, doing your exercises IS something productive. But doubling up on them ain't such a good notion.