Sunday, August 11, 2013

You ain't so smart Billy Bob

I don't recall the circumstances, but I was bout to flunk the second grade. Now how can ya flunk the second grade? It's not possible, is it? If'n I'm gonna learn anything, it's gonna have to be learned on the street. An' that what I did. I learned mathematics by go'n to the "nickle" picture show with $0.15 cents in my pocket. Main attraction, a serial (sp), couple cartoons, and world news. Anybody remember the picture show? 

I may not be versed in world knowledge, sentence structure, spell'n or any that kind of stuff, but I know some stuff bout how to survive. Learn it right out there in the middle of the street. Actually, I was a perfect speller until I was introduced to 4 letter words. Jist kidd'n.....I always got a hunnert on spell'n tests. Everthing else, if I got a "D", I was proud. If'n recess was graded, I would be a scholar.

I would'a done much better in school if'n it hadn't been for them dad gum little girls chas'n me round the school yard, knock me down an' kiss me right on the mouth before I could say "uncle". What the hell wrong with them fool girls? Us rambunctious (spell checker did that) boys weren't into that kind of stuff. We was adventurers, action heros....throw dirt clods....stuff like that.

Ok, that all the nonsense ya get for one day. I got dishes to do ya know. Sort out my laundy an' get it ready for the laundromat. God I hate go'n to the laundromat. Oh look, golf is on TV.....yeee haw!!!


  1. When I was a little kid, in the summer time when my Mom took me to town (we stood along the highway and flaged down the bus). After we got to town, she would give me a quarter and send me off to the movie theater and I would watch the movie and have enough left over to buy something to munch on. Those were the good ole days.

  2. Yep sure do remember them good ole days, 5 cents get you a lota stuff. Not even a candy or drink now.

  3. Learnin' is all about what part of the country yore standin' in.

    If yore in the cow pasture with yore friends and a bull starts chasin' all of you'uns, you don't have to outrun the bull. Jest yore friends.

    They don't teach that in second grade.