Drop kicked by the dawg

Boy howdy I mean to tell ya.....I feel pretty good this morn'n. I rekon most people get tired of hear'n bout how bad somebody feels.....But....that's what old people talk bout. When ya walk up to some "old" person an' ask 'em "how ya do'n?"....expect them to give ya a detailed and colorful description.
"Hi ya Larry, ain't seen ya in a while....how ya do'n"? You asked for it, Larry is gonna tell ya.

In fact, I feel so good this morn'n I could go swak a few golf balls. Oh wait.....the wind is blow'n a hunnert mile a hour. The same is forecast for tomorrow (Monday). But....I'm think'n a early tee time on Wednesday morn'n is called for. Hmmmmm....wonder what the daily lunch special is at the "greasy churn" (Butter Churn) is on Wednesdays? 

Sadie Mae drop kicked me, slam dunked my arm....beat my ass. Ya see, she was play'n with that little dog an' got herself all excitis. She was jump'n round like a crazy dog. That when she give me left jab an' a right cross. I bleeded like a stuff hog. That's what blood thinners do for ya....give ya wimp skin an' stuff like that. 

Hot damn, that one fine look'n automobile. I were sit'n there on the couch wait'n for the golf game to be over so's I could go outside an' wash "that jeep". That's when I spied "Bubba" outside do'n some chores. "Hey Bubba, how bout wash'n my Jeep"??? See, I tole ya I was gonna wash "that jeep" today.

I been think'n bout what would make the rest of my life a little easier. You know....Play Station 3, that electric motor for the "billy bike", a walker with wheels, a full time housekeeper....stuff like that. I ain't worried bout get'n no exercise or nuttin like that. Just a easier comfortable life of leisure. Damn I love be'n retired. 

Speak'n of the "billy bike" an' a electric motor, I jumps on that thing an' points it up the street. Got a nice 15 miles a hour breeze behind me....gonna be do'n a hunnert mile a hour up the street. Yeee haa!!!....here come the Billy Bob. But wait, I got to peddle that sucker back home against the wind. I puts "billy bike" back in the yard, sits down sip'n up a cup an' done me some serious think'n bout bicycles, exercise an' wind. There's gotta be a easier way.

The old "desert bug" hit me yesterday. Out of all my travels, the desert is my all time favorite place to be. You've heard the old say'n, "been there done that". The old Billy Bob is always ready to go back to the desert an' do it again. As long as it ain't 120 degs in the shade. Sheesh, that would be dumb.

Now I ain't say'n that I decided to go west this summer....or nuttin  like that, 'cause I still ain't got the slightest idea where I gonna go. The desert southwest is just one option of many. I rekon I could just climb behind the wheel, flip a coin an' go. But I done tried that one time before. Said I would never do it again. Flip'n coins takes you to some of the most ungodly places ya ever did see. Have ya ever see the worlds biggest hand dug well? I have. Would I go back? Well hell no.

I rekon that's all the news from Billy Bob's house this morn'n. Y'all have ya a good day an' remember the old Billy Bob while you're eat'n a big old juicy T-bone an' a baked tater.