Updated....Tough decision for a Friday

I went to bed early last night (11:30) think'n I would wake up early this morn'n and have plenty of time to prepare myself for a round of golf ball swak'n. I waked up at 9:20. Brewed up a pot and start read'n the daily blogs. Then the news. Now it's 11:30. I ain't got no shoes on yet, my hair is a total disaster, Sadie Mae won't come back in "da house"....an' I really don't give a flip. Ya see, yesterday, my back start feel'n a lot better. So I go outside an' "practice" hit'n some golf balls into the neighbors yard. No, I weren't try'n to hit them in the neighbors yard....they just went that way. Then the great big chained up dog wouldn't let me in the yard to retrieve them. I think he ate them 'cause they was gone this morn'n.

But anyhows, it's get'n too windy to be play'n golf. Well maybe it is. I might just go anyways.

Yup, got most of the dishes done yesterday. Sweeped the floor again. Dad gum dog go outside, roll in the grass an' bring sticker burrs, dirt an' sand, and grass clip'ns in "da house" Do her shake an' that stuff is all over the place. Not that it matters or anything like that, but after bout a week, it look like a pig pin in here.

Ok.....decided I better go to the golf course an' swak a few. I'll be back shortly.....maybe. 

*************************************************************

See, I tole ya I would be back. Had a very excit'n day at the golf'n place an' the eat'n place.

When I arrived at the Sinton golf course, there was a hunnert old farts wait'n in line to tee off. You know how old farts are, they slow. The nice lady say to me that I can start on the back nine if'n I want to. Well, I'm want'n to, so I did just that.

There was a steady 15 miles a hour wind blow'n, sky full of rain clouds an' high humidity. So this is gonna be a challenging experience. I aims to the right of them two big ol' oak trees....let 'er rip. "Jesus Billy Bob, you ain't even close.....where the hell you learn to aim a golf ball"? Well, at least I'm in the fareway even if it's still 200 yards to the green. I ain't got no club what will come close to 200 yards. So it take me 4 strokes to get on the green and it's a par 4. The rest of the back nine went just fine with a total of 44 strokes. For you non-golfers, that's a good score.

 Take a quick look at that par 3 what I got a birdie on. Now that's what I'm talk'n bout. Over to the right is a par 5. Yup, I pared it....but it took a spectacular shot to do it. I weren't even on the green yet an' I was hit'n 5. Chip that sucker right slap in the hole.
Then it start to rain. And the wind picked up. Seven of the last nine holes were played to a disadvantage. Cain't see for the water on my glasses, wind blow'n my ball all over the place, golf'n stiks all wet, feet slip'n on the wet grass....stuff like that. It were a hard finish. The wind and rain provided me with a final score for that last nine holes of "this sucks" (49). For a total 18 hole score of 93. Acceptable, but nuttin like it were 5 or 6 years ago when I was hit'n in the mid 80's.

Oh, speak'n of slip'n feet.....I ain't never gonna play golf in sandals again...for the rest of my life. 

Now for the funny part of my day. At least I thought it was funny anyhows. I went off to the "greezy spoom" Mexican restaurant (Taqueria La Tapatia). Order me up a combination plate and coffee. After I finish a fine Mexican dinner, I sits back to enjoy a fresh cup of coffee. While I was sit'n there, I feel me a gas attack com'n on. I got to let this stuff out real quiet like so's nobody can hear. Before I go on with the rest of this story, once you hit the old age of 70, it's perfectly acceptable to release gas in public. Old people farts don't stink ya know. Anyhows, that quiet gas release sound just like a bull walrus hunt'n for a mate. The seat vibrated and everbody was look'n right straight at Billy Bob. Embarrassed, you damn betcha old Billy Bob was embarrassed. And that was only the first time. Had to leave a perfectly good cup of coffee sit'n on a now empty table. I was out the door. That when it struck me as funny.