Friday, March 27, 2015

Shoot, I can walk a hunnert mile

Ha, for those that missed my comment yesterday....I did some very strenuous exercise. I walked around the yard for a good 500 YARDS, not feet. An' walk'n 500 yards through knee deep grass an' weeds is strenuous. Ha, I can see you MILE walkers shak'n yer heads an' say'n..."I can walk further than Billy Bob".

Now let me tell ya bout walk'n. While I served in the Navy, I walked everwheres. We would get a day "off ship" (liberty) an' I would set off to walk'n. No busses, taxis or horse drawed carriages for this guy, I'm gonna do me some walk'n. An' for the rest of the day, I would wear a good inch off'n my shoes.

Speak'n of shoes, did ya ever "spit" shine a pair of shoes? Back in them old Navy days, shipboard engine rooms was very hot. My switchboard watch was in the engine room. An' it's humid down there. Perfect conditions to shine up a pair of dress shoes. Now there's something bout human spit. Don't know what it is, but you spit on yer shoes an' you gonna end up with a mirror finish. On my 4 hour switchboard watches, I would shine up bout 4 pairs of shoes....at two dollar a pair.

Shoot, while we talk'n bout shiny shoes, let me tell ya bout a night on the town in Kingston, Jamaica. For a little guy, it don't take many beers to git the feel'n.....I was lit up. That's a important requirement if'n you are a sailor. A Jamaican resident wanted my shoes an' he was will'n to pay for 'em. Back then, military sailor shoes costed $6 a pair. I sold my freshly spit shined shoes for a $10 dollar bill....an a pair of authentic Jamaican sandals the guy was wear'n.
Upon arrival back at the ship, this dad gum officer calls me off to the side....an' he chew me up one side an' down the other. "You are out of uniform Billy Bob, sandals are not Navy issue". I'm restricted to the ship for the next 30 days....an' I got to warsh dishes for a week. 

Speak'n of restricted, we was in Key West, Florida. I was perform'n my traditional sailor duties....chas'n wimmins an' git'n drunk. Before I go on any further, Key West had a law back in the 60's....you DO NOT touch a palm tree. You don't even think bout it, 'cause they gonna throw you in jail. I gits back to the ship a few minutes before curfew (midnight), an' I got this great big ol' palm frond in my hand. My god, you would'a think the world was com'n to a end. I'm on 90 days of restriction while all my buddies are "on the beach" perform'n their sailor duties.    

After my tour of duty, I continued to walk. "Hey honey, I'm gonna walk down to the beer joint an' drink me up a "cold one". I've walked hike'n trails, climbed mountains, walked to the corner grocery for a "soda pop". ...I could walk a hunnert miles if'n I had wanted to.

I had me a pair of hand made cowboy boots. You DO NOT go for a walk in cowboy boots. Pay $300 dollar for them things. No they weren't western boots, they was cowboy boots.
I searched the internet....this is as close as I can come, but this gives ya a idea of what black an' white cowboy boots look like. 
Fancy black an' white suckers what I weared to go danc'n, eat at fancy restaurants, weddings an' neighborly back yard BBQ's. Problem was, my calves was too big for comfort from all that walk'n. I'm talk'n tight fit'n boots. I had done walked too much. At the danc'n place, I would take 'em off, an', set 'em up on the table for everbody to see an' do my danc'n sock footed. The girls loved it when I slide all over the floor in my sock feet. Put 'em in a dip.
Now days, walk'n is for kids....that is if'n ya can get 'em off their ass text'n each other. Danc'n too if'n ya know what I mean.  Been a few years since I been out on a dance floor. Ha...."hey honey, ya wanna dance a new dance? It's called 'toe step'n'".

Ok, I got me a freak'n car, I don't need to walk no more...I'll drive to Walmart.

I ain't gonna say that yesterdays long walk fixed my feet....still too early to tell. But this morn'n, both feet are [this] close to normal that ya gotta look real hard to see any swell'n. Well maybe not look real hard, but the swell'n is down. Some of the pains is gone. I'll do me another walk today.



  1. Keep on walkin' Billy Bob. My doctor told me that walking is the best thing I can do for my heart, and I'm walking at least 5 days a week. Feeling great! All I need to do is see a chiropractor to try to reduce scoliosis that I think is getting worse. Oh, and if you walk every day and get up to 1000 yards, you will lower your blood pressure and cholesterol - that's two meds you won't need. (Your doctor will tell you to keep on taking them though, because that's what the drug reps tell him when they take him out to a fancy dinner.)

  2. That's good that you getting some walking every little bit helps. Like Gypsy says good for you heart and stuff. Help circulation and maybe even sleep better at night.

  3. Billy Bob are you sure you received an honorable discharge from the navy? Seems you were always in trouble :D