Friday, April 24, 2015

Don't never jump off'n no roof

I was sit'n here an' got to think'n.......why?

Boy howdy, I been have me plenty them "whys" for all my life...."why the hell did you do that"? "why is the cat all puffed up"? "why did you....why did you....why did you"? Well shoot, there's only one simple answer to that, "that's just the way I do things". I still do things like that an' I still get asked "why?".

I would rekon that ya gotta live on a farm to learn how to do things the easy way. Like how to get off of a roof. What easier way is there other than to jump.....sheesh!!!...think bout it. Now days though, you won't even catch me on no dad gum roof. Been bout 2 years since I been on the roof of "Sally da house". Skeers shit out me when I'm up there.
Back to jump'n off'n a roof....us boys was play'n some silly game of some kind on the farm what involved climb'n all over the roofs of the barn, smoke house an' garage. Now jump'n out the hay loft, there weren't nuttin to that. Just land in the pile of hay lay'n on the ground. But we was on the smoke house, there weren't no hay, an' "Moms" was holler'n from across the yard...."you boys git off that roof before I beat yer ass". When Moms spoke, we listened. Since I was the smallest of the boys, an' they had scampered down the ladder....an' then took the ladder with 'em, I was stranded....with Moms headed this way with a big ol' switch in her hands. She's gonna beat my ass. So's I jump. Right into a pile of busted up used lumber....big ol' dry rot splinters an' nails. I land my right foot dead center one them nails....go right through my foot. I'm scream'n bloody murder an' Moms is crank'n up the old car for a trip to the doctor in town. This was my first experience with the healing powers of alcohol an' iodine on a open wound. Ha, I ain't never go on that roof no more.

But that weren't the last time I jump off a roof. An' that weren't the last time I got myself hurt. I jump off'n a neighbors garage an' could'a swear I done break both feet. Had to crawl on hands an' knees back to the house. Big ol' tears in my eyes. Didn't get on "that" roof again neither. Lesson learned...."don't never jump off'n a roof". Ha, I always tell everbody "that's why God invented ladders".

Trip to Georgia goes downhill a little more each day. I'm at a point that it wouldn't take much arm twist'n to crank up "Sally da house" an' head to the desert southwest. Well, maybe I'm jump'n the gun here a bit. Things could get better ya know.

Holy cows, I got me a whole page of Walmart stuff to go buy up. Eat'n stuff. But it won't be today. Ya see, when ya only sleep bout 5 hours a night, ya don't feel like do'n nuttin when ya get up. Today is one them days an' I got a ton of stuff what needs done. Just little stuff. The big stuff has got to wait till the yard drys up. An' there's more rain predicted. Ha, it rained again last night.  

Ok, I got me some think'n to do an' not much time left to do it. Today is already half gone.....damn!!!


  1. It sounds like you are putting off the trip to Georgia because you're not sure what you want to have done to you. I'd say just man up and do it! (that's what I tell my little grandsons. It worked with one of them.)

    1. Actually Gypsy, I know exactly what I want to have done in Georgia....mainly something to stop some of this back an' hip pains I have every day. It's get'n unbearable. Then there's some other items that have to be checked out. They skeer hell out me that it could possibly be some kind of cancer. But we won't go into that here.

      It's other reasons for the downhill trend, nuttin to do with health issues.

    2. I see what you mean. If you can do something about the back and hip pains, you may be able to deal with the rest more easily, and the rest might not be what you're afraid it is. I'm gonna think positive for you, because you're hurtin' too bad to think very positive for yourself.

    3. I think it's the NO SMOKING, when you have to be in a hospital.... lol. Would have been my reason, back when.

  2. Head for the desert, Bill Bob. The warm, dry air of the desert will help your bones and muscles feel better. . . maybe.

  3. Now don't be jumin' off no more roofs, ok: