Monday, April 27, 2015

Watermelons for sale....cheap

Ha, don't know where this come from, but I been sit'n here think'n bout it.....I used to sell watermelons.

I rekon my first business adventure, I must 'a been  bout 12 year old. My dad used to have a construction service business where people would come in an' want a contractor to build a porch or some steps. I was the business assistant. You know, the little guy what would sit in a empty office all day long answer'n the phone what would maybe ring once a day, or some lady would come in want'n a plumber for a clogged drain.....stuff like that. My job was to lead them in the right direction. It was really a very boring job an' I was right at the bottom of the pay scale.

Watermelons. Everybody likes watermelons. We are located on a busy intersection of town an' this would be a perfect location to sell watermelons. Me an' dad did some figger'n. A farmer down the road a piece, way the hell out in the country, would sell us watermelons for $.50 each. But we had to drive to the farm, pick 'em an' drive back to the business. Stop at a couple beer joints for refreshments for dad.
*In 1952, $.50 each for a wholesale watermelon was a high price*

Well, dad didn't know nuttin bout pick'n no dad gum watermelons, so the job was left up to his assistants....me an' one his drunk friends. Ha, while he sat in the pick up sip'n on a beer an' bark'n orders....."git that one". We load the truck with bout 50 watermelons. I see $$$$ signs in my eyes.

The next day I drags a chair out to the pile of watermelons. There's a home made sign...."Watermelons $1 each". In the next few days, half them watermelons are sold at "dicker" prices from $.60 each to $.75 each. We got us a money mak'n business here....gonna be rich in nuttin flat. Then, the watermelons began to rot. There was flys an' sting'n bees. Critters crawl'n on the ground. These watermelons have got to go.
Strike my first business adventure a failure. On with my life.

Other failures popped up in my life an' I just wrote 'em off as a failure. An' I went on with my life. Sold watermelons on 1 more occasion when I reached the age of bout 19 or 20. Think'n I had done learn all there is to learn bout sell'n stuff. I'm think'n this time sell'n watermelons, I was pay'n customers bout $.50 each to buy one my watermelons. You cain't sell a watermelon for $1 when that watermelon cost you $1.50 (purchase price plus overhead).

Was gonna make that trip to Walmart yesterday. The dad gum battery was slap dead in the "billy jeep". Now how comes that? Charged it up but now it's too late to go to Walmart. Stayed up way late last night do'n some think'n.....not good. Got up way late this morn'n....I ain't go'n to Walmart.

Think'n maybe them cats are gone. Sadie Mae has been inside all morn'n instead of sit'n under "da house" try'n to get a glimpse of one them kittens. By the way, I done some floor stomp'n last night right over the area they at. Maybe mama cat get all piss off an' say "let's move to a quieter community". My hear'n ain't good enough no more to hear them cats talk'n, so all I can do is hope they gone.

Ain't nuttin else go'n on that's needs talked bout. Ain't got no special plans made for the next few days. So I rekon I'm out of here for another day.  



  1. Sometime those business venture don't pan out too well, but live and learn.
    Good luck with "billy jeep"

  2. I didn't think about stompin' on the floor above those cats. Brilliant idea, and you could repeat it now and then for good measure! The last apartment I lived in the guy upstairs made me move when he played his guitar ALL NIGHT LONG on Christmas Eve. Foot stompin' is even better.

  3. I love all the additions you made to your header picture. You got a good chuckle out of me.

    1. Ha Dizzy, I have me a secret admirer that does that for me. I got a chuckle out of it too.

  4. Yeah, seeing you up there on the roof, lantern in the window, birds and 'gators visiting, but what is that thing on the porch?
    Gotta have lots of customers in a short time to get rid of watermelons and peaches in a timely manner, or else you're gonna have a rotting, stinking mess. Never tried that venture myself. Have you tried selling those cat puppies for .50 each?

  5. bill, thought you weren't goin up on roofs anymore?? ruin yer good pants. those gators look hungry. like the rehab to the cabin. you need a flag flying and a cajun pirogue to pole thru the swamp to wallyworld fer smokes.

  6. WELL, how about that new header picture. NEATO, Billy Bob.