Saturday, January 26, 2013

Billy 'the kid' Bob

Billy 'the kid' Bob stepped out of the door of the cafe on to the boardwalk. He squinted his eyes into the bright sunshine. A toothpick hang'n from his lips, a smile on his face. He was think'n of the cute little waitress that brung him his breakfast. And that where his thoughts lay. He wandered off to the west at a slow easy step, his spurs jingl'n with every step upon the wooden boardwalk.

Billy 'the kid' Bob weren't a big feller. His height reach'n 5 foot 9 inch in his scuffed up high rise rid'n boots with a added ince for good measure. Soak'n wet he would weigh in right at 145 pounds. On his right hip hung a Model P 1873 Colt Frontier with a 7 inch barrel 44-40 caliber single action pistol. It was carried in a well oiled leather holster tied down just above the knee. His trail worn and faded jeans tucked into the tops of his boots. On his head he wore a black narrow brim Mexican sombrero with a silver hat band and little ball thingys hang'n off the edge. One distinctive bullet hole marked the center of its crown. This was "the kid"....Billy 'the kid' Bob.  

Just a few doors down was the town water hole, The Giddy-up Saloon. A  loud roar could be heard from behind the bat wing swing'n doors. Out stomped Dead Eye Dick. The ugliest man in the west. His straw like hair stood out from under his tattered, torn and sweat stained Texas ten gallon hat. His face was covered with scars from long past knife, fist and a recent axe fight. One ear was missing. His nose rested on his left cheek. He let out another blood curtling roar liken to a grizzly bear what had stubbed it's toe. He was mad. Stomp'n mad. People were scramb'n out of his way as he shoved his way through the crowd, swing'n his fists at anyone within reach. On his hips he wore a brace of short nose 45 caliber Army Colts, tied down just above the knees. 

As Billy 'the kid' Bob continued to stroll down the boardwalk, his mind was preoccupied with thoughts of the cute little waitress that had brung him his breakfast. He had no awares of the approaching mad man, the ugliest man in the west. 'Dead eye' took up most the boardwalk with his broad upper body and as they passed each other, they brushed shoulders ever so lightly.

With his preoccupation, eyes still a glow, 'the kid' continued on with his stroll down the boardwalk. 'Dead eye" had came to a abrupt halt, stomped his feet an' let out another blood curtling roar.

"HEY" he screamed at the top of his lungs. 'The kid', realiz'n he had erred in his ways, turned and voiced a quiet "escuse me". Then continued on...still preoccupied.  "YOU", "PIP SQUEEK", I'M TALK"N TO YOU", he yelled.

'Dead eye", steam flar'n from his flattened nostrils shouted, "YOU PUSHED ME". No one had ever pushed 'dead eye' and lived to tell about it. He was mean....and the ugliest man in the west. Again he yelled, "YOU, PIP SQUEEK, I'M TALK"N TO YOU" Now Billy 'the kid' Bob had a thing bout name call'n and pip squeek rattles his bones. Two times this mad man had called him that name. A name lower than a rattlesnakes belly. His spurs begun to jingle, the rowels was set to spin'n. His muscles tightened. He slowly turned to face Dead Eye Dick, the ugliest man in the west.

The kid looked Dead Eye right square in the eye with a bit of scorn on his face. Then gave Dead Eye a quick once over from head to foot. "I don't like no name call'n, feller, so don't do that no more, Ok"?, said the kid. 

Dead eye laugh one them roar'n laughs of his "HAR HAR HAR". He was on a roll now, enjoy'n his self like a hog eat'n slop. "Nah nah nah....pip squeek, pip squeek, pip squeek" roared dead eye with a big ol' possum grin on his face. I'm gonna blast ya plumb full of holes with these here shoot'n guns of mine"

That was the last straw for Billy 'the kid' Bob. He had done took all the tak'n he could stand. So 'the kid' began to explain. "Feller....ya see this here big ol' hedgehog 44-40 I got here hang'n in my hip?"
"Ain't that kind of a big shoot'n iron for a little pip squeek like you to be tote'n round?"  "har har har", replied dead eye.
"Why, I can shoot the eye out a horny toad at 50 yeards with this here big ol' gun" "Drive a nail in a fence post at a hunnert yards" Place two bullets one on top the other shoot'n over my shoulder"
Why, I could shoot that gold tooth right out your mouth an' you never feel it"...esclaimed 'the kid'.
 Things were get'n a mite thick now as 'dead eye, sneered. "Har har har", said he.

"Why feller, I'm so fast, even lightning don't strike anywheres near me". "I can draw this gun so fast, all you gonna see is a streak of blue pass yer bloodshot eyes".....said 'the kid'.
"The ways I see it...feller, is you got two choices, make yer play an' eat lead or walk away an' live to see tomorrow".

Well, all this talk bout straight shoot'n, faster than lightning and his gold tooth, an' stuff like that, got old 'dead eye' to think'n, "is this pip squeek kid as good as he says he is, and am I as mean as I think I am"??? With that thought, 'Dead Eye' Dick softly says..."well, you be careful where you walk from now on....OK?" He then turns, walks across the street to his await'n swayback hoss an' gallops out of town. 

Wyatt Earp, a longtime friend of Bill 'the kid' Bob steps out of the shade an' says...."damn kid, I thought you was surely a goner. At that, 'the kid' replies, pull'n the huge hedgehog 44-40 from his hip, look'n it over...."how ya work one these here thangs"????