Saturday, February 22, 2014

Oh my, we down today.....depressed

When I don't have nuttin excit'n to write about, you gonna have to listen to stuff like this.

I'm at wits end as to what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life. I been think'n for a few years bout buy'n a little piece of property. Purchase me a big ol' a bulldozer an' tear up some stuff . Build the "Sally da house" shelter an' sit on the patio sip'n up a cup. Do'n nuttin.

Now here's the reason I'm think'n that's not a good idea. I been sit'n here at "El Rancho Abraham" for bout 3 months now. Mostly 'cause of the freez'n temps. I look out the winders, an' what do I see? I see the same ol' thing every day....nuttin new an' nuttin excit'n. Now I don't know bout anybody else, but see'n the same scenery ever day depresses the hell out me. Make me just want to just sit down an' do nuttin. An' that's bout all I been do'n. Something got to change....and soon.

Now we have cold temps headed this way again. Grrrrrrrr....that sucks. My appointment with the dentist is start'n to make me a bit nervous.....I don't like needles an' pain. There's this run around with the used car dealership....Grrrrr...to that too. My back is giv'n me the fits most ever day. I have to do a lot of sit'n 'cause I can't stand up very long. Because of my inactivity, nephew Joseph has been keep'n his distance. BroIL Abraham came down from Montana for a visit. He ignores me too. An' we was like brothers for many many years. This kind of crap is very depressing. I'm get'n old an' I ain't excit'n no more.

This morn'n I waked up after a hard night. I stumbled round "da house" mak'n coffee an' look'n at all my mess lay'n on the floor. Maybe I'll clean floors today. Then I sit down on the couch an' did me some think'n......I got to get out of here. My life could be life threaten'n if'n I let it go on like this.

I was gonna leave the "billy bike" here when I finally pull out 'cause I cain't ride the damn thing. But then I got to think'n bout Del Rio a few months ago. I rode it there, not very far mind you, but I rode it. My back hurted less. So, the "billy bike" will go with me when I leave. Whether I ride it of not is another question. But it will be there in case I do. As far as walk'n for exercise, I suppose that will depend on if'n I get back surgery or not.

Now, speak'n of back surgery....I have two sons that had it done. They both complain of pains an' are put down in bed a couple times a year. I've read many stories bout people that had the surgery....not all that good. Although, I have also read of miracles. I'm at odds at what to do.

Ya see, I have had back injuries that date back bout 30 years. Spent hospital time, back manipulations, physical therapy...all that kind of stuff. My last injury (2000) never healed. What shape it's in in 2014 I don't know. Maybe unrepairable after 14 years?

Then I get to think'n bout doctors slice'n me open, yank'n out bones an' stuff, an' big ol' needles bout the size a 16 penny nail stick'n out my arms.....blood run'n down on the floor. That shit skeers the hell out me. Kind of remind me of my heart doctor over in Deming. He scare the hell out me an' he don't even do nuttin.

One more thing what got me worried. My new debit/credit card ain't showed up in the mail neither. It's usually here no later than the 15th. Grrrrrr.....

I have some followers that I really miss when they don't comment. A nice lady from Tennessee is just one of many. She make me feel good. *those not named here, I dearly love your comments too* Makes me think I done piss everbody off. What I probly do. Some the comments I get really lift me up when I'm feel'n sorry for myself. I enjoy positive an' lift'n up comments. An' then there's the "courtesy" commenters where they didn't even read what I had to say for the day.


  1. Hey, I read it. Did you say anything? (grin). Sure hope your back don't require any more surgery. Doctors only look for the bad, and that scares me 'cuase at our age the harder they look the more they will find and I feel my best when I ain't see'n a doctor.

    Yes, take the Billy Bike with you. Maybe you can get one of those little motors you clamp on and it helps turn the back wheel. That is always good when you are going up hill, you can't always coast down hill and sooner or later you will have to go back up a hill. No, your not suppose to back up the hill. . .Cheer up BB, as my old Dad always told me, "Son, there is nothing so bad it can't get worse".

    1. Ha ha.....don't you know the old Billy Bob by now? If'n I had a motor in the "billy bike" I could take the pedals off.

      See what I'm talk'n bout....I've NEVER had back surgery. I would rather that doctors looked for the bad. If'n they looked for the good, they would just tell me to go home an' not fix what I went to have fixed.

    2. I hate doctors, took them sixteen years to diagnose me, all told me there was nothing wrong, it was all in my head. All except the in-house doctor where I worked, he saw something and said I wasn't able to work as I was a danger not only to myself but my coworkers. What I have is (FA ,freidrichs ataxia) determined by DNA tests than I requested.

    3. Explain plz,, never heard of that.

  2. A place to park your house with view of a lake maybe? Seems like there is a better chance of having things happen on some water.
    Don't be talking yourself out the the dentist, just get it done & things will be better.

    1. I sure would like to be look'n out across a lake today. All I see here is old junk cars, two burros an' that damn goat.

      Ain't gonna talk myself out of the dentist. Once I get them teeth out, I won't hurt no more.

  3. I know what you mean about same scenery, I own my property and house, don't live in it because I can't get around because of my condition. I live in the motorhome in the my yard but periodically I go for a couple days to change the scenery and that makes a difference. I can still drive, drive my mobility cart/chair everywhere the motorhome don't fit, restaurants, casino's, grocery stores and the like. Not the best situation but the best I can manage. I bought a backhoe years ago that I use to maintain the weeds in the yard, Can't use a weed eater and hiring somebody has never been an option. If I can't do it it doesn't get done.
    I enjoy reading your blog, possibly because of similar backgrounds although I don't fish, never have and don't like to eat fish and stay away from boats.
    I worked at a lot of different trades but ended up as a facilities maintenance mechanic at a drug company after moving to CA and that's where I stayed. In a small town now in the wine country.
    My finances do limit me as I was let go six months before my retirement matured where full retirement and healthcare were lost.
    I was surprised to see you have dental coverage, use it and that might make a difference in the overall future.

  4. Oh, Billy Bob
    Don't you know that you have lots of company? Many, many of us are trying to decide what to do with the time we have left. I'm thinking, though, that if we spend enough time trying to figure out what to do, the problem will take care of itself. There won't be any time left to decide about.

    I sure do agree that the dentist is important. Wonder if removing those two teeth will take care of the gum disease? Will you be taking antibiotics for that? Sure do envy you the dental coverage. I could keep a dentist busy for a nice long time if I didn't have to pay full price. A crown and one cavity a year ago cost $1400. Expensive!

    As to your big question about where to live, not much I can say. We had to give up the RV; husband's health couldn't keep it up. Problems with his back. He had surgery, but his underlying problem with osteoporosis came into play. He's getting injections every few months. They don't completely eliminate his pain, but they do make him able to tolerate it. He cannot sit around; is always busy finding things that need doing in the yard, the house, with the dogs, etc. Yes, from our house we always have the same view, but staying busy with different projects helps us live with that. Feeding and watching the birds, and taking an interest in plants gives some variety. Also, a big help, of course is the computer. Following people like Billy Bob, Barney, Al, Gypsy, Judy, Sue, etc.,etc.,etc.

    I like it when you have a buddy to hang out with, be it Wayne, Barney, or........ Wish you could find a solution that would provide buddies to sip up a cup with! Meanwhile, sure hope you get the license tag problem solved. And, pretty soon it's gonna get warm. Maybe too warm!! Take care......

  5. Most people I know who have operations because of back problems aren't ever completely cured. Maybe a little better, but not pain-free. It's really a toss-up what to do.

    I don't like seeing the same scenery all the time, but I really appreciated being close to 3 of my kids when I was hospitalized a couple of months ago. I've been studying info about the southwestern National parks that I would love to spend some time in this spring. I'll have to wait until I know what I'll be paying the dentist!

    I keep reading that sitting is the worst thing you can do. They say to stand whenever you can. Ah, but it feels so good to just sit down!

  6. Ah, Billy Bob, I'm sorry to hear you are depressed and so much S#ip happening. I know just how you feel because I'm in a leaky boat myself. This deal about your tag or registration is a crock; I'd be raising some hell, jumping up and down. Hmm, I guess that is why I don't have any friends or phone calls anymore; I lose my cool quickly when something is 'not right'.

    A lack of readers or comments? I read, never miss your post and thought I commented a lot; wish I had your number of readers interested in what I got to say and comments....rarely do I get one. Course I just ain't interestin' like you are. You make people laugh; I just piss everybody off.

    Neremind, I'm goin quit trying to straighten out this screwed-up world and nobody gets my jokes; what's a woman to do in sitchiations like that? Depressin' I'm telling ya.

    Experience I once had with the dentist was this: scared to death, dreading all this work I had to have done. Relax, relax, relax I'm told. Hmph! Never been relaxed in my life. So I went and I went, tormented. Then one day I wasn't afraid and by the time those many sessions were half finished I was relaxed and tweren't bad atall. Too bad my money dried up! Now no worries, no toofs, no PAIN and I can chomp a steak well as anybody! It's just too bad I can't afford a steak, eh?

    You hang in there, old buddy, tomorrow is going to be better. Nose why? Cause you gived us readers pleasure today!

    Ise in Tennessee too; way up here in the far, far northeast corner of it

  7. Billy Bob lovers ,,,unite! You have "ghost followers"...I have never commented because I wouldn't be recognized and sometimes that seems kind of like eavesdropping on a party line phone..Trust me,your cool and have more readers than you realize,Get the teeth out,try the nitrous to relax you some,then get the heck out of Dodge! A texas fan that wants you to go kick back and chill...

  8. Yep, if nitrous is an option use it. Trust me, it makes everything fascinating! Back in my younger days I was so far out of it (dentist knew I was a basket case about the work) that I was enjoying the idea he might be carving little statues in my teeth with all the drilling. Had rock music in headphones and I was rocking along the whole time. I freaked when the dentist in Honduras said he didn't use anything like that. But, it wasn't that bad, I survived.

  9. "Makes me think I done piss everbody off."

    Haha, Billy Bob. You're going to have to work a little harder to piss me off! I really enjoy your writing and your blog is the first one I read every morning. I hope your dental work goes smoothly, when completed I'm sure you'll be able to tell the difference if your health. We're in the Rio Grande valley for the winter and the weather hasn't been all that great but a hell of a lot better than back home in Illinois where they have had a record breaking winter. I like what Dizzy said, "Son there is nothing so bad it can't get worse". I don't have to look too far to see someone who has it a lot worse than I. A positive attitude is half the battle and I know you have that. Good luck.

    Max from Illinois.

  10. I get out every day, just for a bit. Like you, can't stay on my feet, but i can drive. Sometimes i just sit in a parking lot, read my book, and do people watching. It's always been strange, but about 3 PM, i get a panicky feeling, GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE. A doc said it could be my blood sugar, but not. That's been happening as far back as i can remember. Strange, huh?
    Soo,,, go, somewhere,,,when you feel bad. Remember that Mexican food?

  11. Getting out and about, new places and new faces always makes me feel good, even if just down the road a few miles. And Billy bike is good for keeping the blood flowing too. Going some place, any place is better than just sittin there.
    Don't want nobody cutting my back open if it can be avoided, thats for sure.

  12. Sometimes I feel as though we all need a vacation or a break from our routine! I know that I do!

    Maybe you should start another boat building project! I hear that hobbies are good for ya.

  13. I really think you should see a Dr. bout your back....would love to hear some more of your hilarious hijinks :)

  14. I think I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. My brother was a psychiatrist doing physical therapy and the like, specialized in traumatic brain injury recovery. His instructions to me regarding two communities (smudged) disks was to avoid surgery until the choice is down to not walking or getting the back operated upon. Best advice he ever gave me. Sorry you are depressed and all. Time to take the bull by the horns, get some "be happy pills" from that doc and go visit Colorado as soon as it warms up ... I hear tell they got wacky-tobaccy available at the Wal-Mart.

  15. Make that a physiatrist. Damned auto-correct.