Monday, October 28, 2013

Ain't catch no fish....

"Holy jump'n Jiminies Billy Bob, what the hell are you walk'n like that for"? Well, ya see, yesterday I went off fish'n for a couple three hours. My back is out this morn'n.

I jumps in "that jeep" an' head to town to fill the gas tank. I hear Jeeps run on fumes, but I ain't tak'n no chances. Five minutes to put 3 gallons of gas in the tank? I go's to Walmart, Murphys, I find me a pump what works. Fill up an' head for the 277 North campground. Catch me up some fish ya know. Well, I didn't, only one little "tic tic" on a plastic worm.

Barney shows up...gonna show me how to catch fish. "Show me sumthing Barney, I ain't catched nuttin". We both come to the conclusion, we ain't fishermen....or we way too early. Everbody know ya don't go fish'n at lunch time an' the sun shin'n straight down on the fish'n hole. I hang up my pole.

Me an' Sadie Mae go look'n an' look'n at new campsites. Drive circles around the campground. "How bout this one Sadie"? Nope, too close to the road. This one is uneven. This one has no view. This one too close to OFM Barney's rig. Pick'n a campsite is work.

I head back to San Pedro campground. Eat me up a great big ol' sammich. Sit back on "da porch" an' do some think'n. Internet. Will my internet work way out there in the middle of nowhere. Well, it don't work worth a crap here, what difference could it make?

How dependent we have become on a internet connection. It's like....I'm gonna die if'n I don't have a internet connection. You think I'm kid'n? Go find you a campsite with out a internet signal an' see how long you stay in that campground. Or fire up your computer some morn'n an' find out you ain't got internet. See how fast ya get on the phone call'n your provider. It's a internet world....get over it.

I takes my computer over to 277 North. I got a signal....3 bars at 1x. That's not good, but it works. Where the hell is my 4G I supposed to have?

Then me an' Barney goes down to the fish'n hole. We bound to catch us some fish this time. Well, no we ain't. Had me a good "tic tic" and then I get me a fish on the line. "Did ya set the hook Billy Bob"? Well.....no. Later on, I get me another one on the line. I rares back on my fish pole hard enough to pull the head off a good size fish. I still don't catch me no fish. My back is kill'n me, I gotta sit down. More than onest I sit there....Sadie Mae sound asleep at my side. I hang up my pole.

Back at camp San Pedro, I got me a decision to make. It's a hunnert degs in "da house" so's I sit outside. I jumps on the "billy bike" an' take a ride. I swak a few golf'n balls. Peanut butter an' jelly sammich for supper. The sun is go'n down...an' I ain't make no decision.

This mor'n I barely make it to the coffee pot. I'm still half asleep. All bend over like that crookit man. Throws stuff in the coffee pot, fires up the generator....and wait. I know when my coffee is done, the pot don't make no more gurgle sound. Turn the generator off. Go to pour my first cup. What the hell, there ain't no coffee. "Ya got to push the button Billy Bob". Generator back on, coffee pot go gurgle....I got fresh coffee.

The wind is blow'n, there ain't no sunshine. I ain't go'n nowhere. Not yet anyhows. May break camp here in a little bit....but not right now. Maybe me an' Sadie Mae go for a ride?


  1. Daddy, you need to use the DD-14 I buy you a long time ago. when we went to West point. '' fish swim by and the DD-14 jumps all over that fish, bit'n , grabb'n , slap put it in a haed lock''. Was you in your bubba boat or standing? that don't matter, sorry about your internet service. One more thing, are you boondock'n? take care. love you!!!!

    1. I used that DD-14 last year an' it did exactly like what you said. Poor fish had bruises all over...an' a black eye.

      Bubba boat is still in the back of "that jeep". I be boondock'n....

  2. I hope you do better tomorrow Billy-Bob, just remember they call fishing not catching...Good luck.