Friday, October 18, 2013

Trap'n buzzards

Was a cold 33 degs this morn'n. If'n it hadn't been for a dad gum leg cramp, I would still be in a warm bed. I'm one them guys what thinks if'n it's still dark outside, there ain't no sense in get'n out of bed. There ain't nuttin you can do in the dark....wait for the sun to come up so's you can see. Old "pesky neighbor" Wayne gets up at 4 to 5am ever morn'n. Then he just sits there wait'n for the sun to come up...do'n nuttin.

We got brakes. Mechanic Mark jump on "that jeep" yesterday morn'n an' in two hours change all the brake pads. They was all god 'cept'n for one, what was wored all the way down to metal. How comes only one pad was wored like that? I jump on the internet. Do some research ya now. Didn't find any cause what I didn't already know....caliper ain't releasing all the way. Buy what the hell, I only drive this piece of junk something like 2 or 3000 miles a year. So what if'n a caliper don't release all the way?  

Got all rambunctious an' wash "da house" winders yesterday. Now today, I got to figger out how I gonna get rid of 10 gazillion water spots. What I'm think'n, I should of just left them bugs on there....with no water spots. All I did was make more work for me. Probly gonna have to sit on "da porch" sip'n up a cup an' do some think'n...."how to get rid of water spots". I can do that!!!

The OFM Barney informed me yesterday that the campgrounds an' lake are reopened in Del Rio. A photo was included of my old camp site. What the hell, the grass an' weeds is 2 feet high. There could be snakes an' critters in there.

I ain't skeered no snakes ya know. When I was much younger, I used to go out in the desert an' catch snakes. I didn't catch all of 'em though. Some of 'em would get really piss off an' threaten to bite me. I 'member one time I was fish'n at Lake Isabella in California. Had me a brand spank'n new fish pole. This big ol' rattlesnake, bout 4 feets long, jump out an' come [this] close to tak'n a bite out my leg. Now mind you, I was just mind'n my own business, not bother'n nuttin. That snake scare the holy jaheebees out me. I swak'n him good with my fish'n pole....bout a hunnert time. Kill him dead. Also kill my brand spank'n new fish pole dead too. Then I feel bad 'cause I kill him. Bury him next to that rock an' make a little cross out of little pieces of my fish pole. Damn snake!

Have ya ever trap a buzzard? I was just a kid, bout 13 year old. I was think'n one them buzzards fly'n round up there would make a pretty nice pet to have around the house. I spend a week construct'n a 6 foot high chicken wire fence trap...bout 6 or 8 foots in diameter. Ya see, a buzzard can land straight down, but they cain't take off straight up. Then I throws a old dead rabbit inside the fence for bait. There's lots of dead rabbits in the desert ya know. Ya just got to know where to look. An' buzzards love dead rabbits.

The next day I go check my makeshift trap. Holy cows, there two buzzards in there. Ain't nuttin but fur where that rabbit used to be. Now how I gonna get a rope on one them ugly buzzards? These buzzards ain't just sit'n there wait'n for me to lasso 'em ya know. They jump'n all over the place flap'n their wings an' "talk'n" at me. They pissed slap off. Beady eye bastards with big ol' flesh chomp'n beaks an' sharp fingernails bout 3 inch long. I ain't do'n this shit. I topple over that chicken wire fence trap an' run like hell. Gonna think me another adventure what ain't so dangerous.

Ok, it's "da porch" time. It's warm out there 68 degs. Laters!!!



  1. Loved those stories!! At least you did catch two buzzards. Not too many people can say that. My son had one come through his windshield while he was driving. That ain't no fun way of catching a buzzard. BTW, if the caliper ain't releasing, it would drag the brake even when towing, wouldn't it?

  2. At least you knew that your trap worked, right?

  3. Well there ya go, more great stories and having too much fun a couple years ago

  4. Learned a trick this year. Had a caliper not releasing on our rig, got real hot, smokin'! Had a mechanic come out and he had me hit the brakes a few times and found out the caliper wasn't releasing so he open a bleeder and then it released. Wasn't the caliper, it was the rubber hose to it, had collapsed inside. He said that was common. Changed hose and bled brakes...end of problem.

  5. Joseph would have fixed this by now.

  6. Very jealous! Sounds like fun!!

    Common Cents

  7. Howdy # `1 BB,

    BUZZARDS IS DUMB !!! There was one sitting in the road, eatin' his breakfast, Iwas on cruise-control
    doing about 45 mph.. I figgered he'd take off when he saw me so I just went on and he didn't, until I was almost on top of him, then he took off toward the driver's side and knocked the rear-view mirror plumb off of the car !!!! $150 !!!