Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Walk'n on thin air

What the hell? You don't suppose I got up too early this morn'n do ya? It were still dark out there. Had one them orange color sunrises what make ya think of orange juice, fried eggs, a slab of ham, hash browns and toast. Since I don't do orange juice 'cause I ain't got no oranges, I just had a big ol' pot of strong coffee. Wayne says "that why ya keep los'n weight...ya don't eat". Bout 11am I ate me up a big 2 egg, fried bolony and cheese sandwich. Ain't felt worth a crap ever since.

I were look'n at that little quail breast this morn'n ponder'n how to cook it up. Well shoot, it ain't but bout three good bites. Gonna take more than one for old Billy Bob. Sit out there on "da porch" just wait'n for them quails for hours. Not a one in sight. Maybe tonight after old pesky neighbor Wayne feeds 'em.

Speak'n of old pesky neighbor Wayne, he come over while ago whin'n bout his starter went out and it were gonna cost him $168 for a new one. I says..."did ya check the battery connections"??? No, just gonna get under there and change the starter. Well, since old Billy Bob been mechanic'n for near on to 52.75 years, I went an took a look. Hmmmmm...battery has 12.65 volts but all what happens is a little "grrrrr" sound when ya turn the key. Post was dirty like ya never see before and to top it off, the cable had one them "rookie" cable ends...all corroded up like a moth ball. Off to the auto parts store to pick up my Onan oil filters and Wayne a new battery cable. All fix up in no time flat!!!

I been questioning, pondering, think'n bout and just plain wondering if I gonna live to be a hunderd or not. The way I been feel'n this last week, I'm think'n not. Ya know, when ya get pains where they ain't been before, there got to be something go'n on. It were just this morn'n, I had this pain right there below my stomach on the right side. What the hell is this??? Bent over like an old man without his walker, I proceded to brew me up a mean pot of coffee when all a sudden I get this urge.... Ripped me off a big'un and I were walk'n on thin air. All that pain were gone....just like that. :-)

Oh Oh....I see quail....publish post....shoot quail....
Oh, good move Lug Nut. He done run off every bird what was out there. Crazy dog!!!


  1. you better drink more water. eat less beans.

    you crack me up

  2. Better be careful "rippin" any where near cook stove, water heater, any open flame. You just might be airborne to meet your maker real sudden like, and a lot sooner that expected.

    I had a dog once that liked to chase birds of all types, chickens, quail, turkeys, etc. A couple pelets in the butt while he was chasing cured that. I had a pump pelet gun and just pumped it a "few times", just enough to sting pretty good.

  3. OGT...are ya tell'n me that if I drink water I ain't gonna toot no more? That don't make sense to me since water come out the "whistle stick". Ain't got nuttin to do with toot'n.

    Bob...yeah I were think'n bout what would happen around an open flame. I never seen it in real, but heard that farts work in a spud gun.

    Speak'n of spud guns, did I ever tell bout the time I built me a pneumatic (125# air)spud gun? Boy howdy did that thing ever throw a spud....250 yds. Busted a hole in 1/4 inch plywood at 50 feets. Last time I visited UTMSI, the spud gun was still where I hid it from the supervisor 7 years ago.

  4. Not saying that you wont fart no more. Its normal to do it 13 times a day. But the pain aint normal. And water make your bowels work better.

    Then again, maybe ifn I was there I might think there was nothin normal bout the air that time.